Disclaimer: We don't own LOTR or the characters. We do however own the Gondor Boy song and we will be very pissed off if someone uses it without our permission.
Warning: Mature audiences only. You were warned!! Read at your own risk.
Pippin's caffeine eating incident had resulted in Gandalf screaming death threats at him which could be heard from all corners of the house. Jippin was trying to convince Legolas to get rid of the white bands while Elfy desperately tried to get Haldir out of the g-string without being scarred for life and failed miserably.
"Do you actually wear these kinds of things?" he asked.
"Some do, I don't…but your wearing it backwards" Elfy replied.
"I think it looks kind of…" Haldir gave Elfy a mischievous but hopeful look. Unfortunately, on his half, it didn't work. Elfy backed away slowly, reaching for the door nob, then opened the door and bolted down the hallway screaming
"HE'S HHHHHHHOOOOOOOORRRRRRRNNNNNNNYYYYYY". Raised eyebrows from all and someone yelled out.
"There's gonna be lots of mini Haldirs' and Elfys' soon".
"Oh no there's not! Not while I'm sane" Elfy yelled
"In that case there will be lots of mini Jippins' and Legolass'" Legolas said.
"Over my dead body!" Jippin yelled.
"That can be arranged" Boromir whispered.
"Stop stealing my lines" she replied.
"C'mon, would you really miss her?" he whined.
Legolas jumped down from the staircase and pounced on Gondor boy angrily. "I'd miss her" he hissed dangerously.
"HHHUUURRRLLL!!!" yelled all the surrounding elves except for Legolas.
"What is it with these elves?"
Boromir was still screaming death threats at Jippin and Elfy. Haldir had finally taken the g-string off and was helping hold him back. The two girls started to jump around dancing and singing.
Gonna cry Boromir
Gonna cry Boromir
Huh huh huh
Gonna cry Boromir
Break down and cry Gondor boy
"That's not helping!" Haldir yelled fiercely.
"We know, that's why were doing it" Jippin answered.
The argument was interrupted by numerous things. Aragorn came out in bright, bright red bikini, Gandalf finally caught up with Pippin and was using magic on him.
"Hasam!!!!"
"Gandalf your not going to blow his head off, that's my job!" Jippin screamed.
Inspired by Aragorn's bikini wearing (which he seriously got his head bitten off by Elfy who was not impressed) everyone decided to go swimming in the Olympic sized swimming pool in the backyard. Only problem was, Elfy and Jippin forgot to explain the use of swimmers.
The two girls waited for the others to come outside. They screamed as Haldir and Legolas came out. Legolas wore a white bikini while Haldir was wearing a black bikini. The girls continued to scream.
"What's the matter, we're only dressed like you?" Legolas asked.
"No your not" they replied. Note: they were on the verge of hurling.
Then, in order, the rest of the group showed up wearing:
Gimli- a gold bikini with red tassels
Aragorn- same as before. Bright red
Frodo- light blue bikini
Sam- yellow bikini
Merry- dark Green bikini
Pippin- nothing because he was still high on the straight caffeine
Gandalf- zebra skin bikini
Celeborn- Leopard skin bikini
Boromir- maroon bikini
Faramir- purple bikini
Denethor- purple and green bikini
Elrond- tiger skin bikini
Then the girls came out dressed in bord shorts and shirts.
"Legolas, white is the absence of color" Jippin hissed, her face deathly white. Legolas looked down at himself and stripped off the bottom, causing Jippin to faint and Haldir to cover Elfy's innocent eyes.
"Legolas, pull that up. Your scaring the children" Aragorn said laughing his head off.
"Hey, we're 18 and a half" Elfy yelled while Jippin just made dead groaning noise.
Half an hour later, they were all in the pool. Jippin and Elfy were trying to stay clear of all boys, especially Boromir who was still trying to kill them. But there was a problem…Elfy could not escape Haldir's gaze.
"I don't think he's over his hornyness yet" Jippin whispered.
"I heard that!"
"So what, do you even know what it means?" Elfy yelled to the elf.
"Yes and its true" he replied. Jippin and Elfy go pale again. Suddenly Boromir pulled Elfy under the water while Jippin tried to kick him where it should hurt. He let her go and she floated to the surface, mouth open.
"Maybe she needs mouth-to-mouth?" Haldir asked.
"No thank you. I can do without" Elfy replied stopping her little game of play dead.
Boromir grabbed Jippin and tried to drown her instead. It probably would have worked had she not have yelled out.
"Legolas…he trying to look up my….shorts!". Legolas came over, grabbed the Gondorian out of the water and promptly punched his lights out.
"C'mon everyone, I know another place we can go!" Elfy yelled.
Hour later they were all at the local waterslides. They had the whole park to themselves to avoid the injury and scarring of small children. Even the workers weren't there.
Jippin climbed up the biggest slide which was called the 'Kamikaze' and showed them what to do. She went flying down the ramp really face and by the time she'd gotten back to the group, the horrified looks still hadn't left their faces.
"Don't worry, you don't have to do that one. Go on the other one if you like" she said before grabbing a mat and heading for the one nickname 'Kool Daddy'. For the next two hours remotely exciting happens but after that…
Frodo had just gone down the Kool Daddy and gotten stuck. Sam, without thinking, went down the slide after him. Problem was he was a little stiff and it turned into a very sticky and hard situation. All the others could say for Frodo for the rest of the day was "Owww" because he could barely walk after their encounter.
Elrond had decided to have a go on the Kamikaze. He went over the first bump, then when he came to the second, he flew right off!
"Elrond watch out for that jet!"
WHACK
"Elrond watch out for that helicopter!"
WHACK
"Watch out for that landing…"
WHACK
"And that pole!"
"Thanks for the warning" he mumbled.
"Your welcome" Jippin replied.
After that the elves tried not to take flying lessons. They also realised they were elves…not witches.
Aragorn and Arwen were going down Small Fry and the only thing that could hear was them resiting the vowels. *Wink* *Wink*
"Hey this is not spelling and your breaking ground rule number three!" Elfy yelled.
"But we're not in the house!" they yelled.
"But your on the ground!" she replied then they went down the Kamikaze together.
"Your on the…"
"No we're not on the ground!" they screamed.
"You will be soon".
Elfy got stuck in the middle of one of slides and unfortunately for her, Haldir was the next to come down. Haldir was yet to get over his little 'episode', although it wasn't so bad…but you can't blame his for trying. He tried…but failed miserably.
"You got hairy legs" Elfy said to him.
"Really, I hadn't noticed because I'm always wearing tights" he replied. Elfy screamed tried in vain to get away from him.
Sam decided to have a go at the Kamikaze…but he broke it. He was so fat that the concert couldn't hold him and he feel through.
"C'mon you guys, we'd better go before the cops come" Elfy said and they made for the car and drove off into the sunset.
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Luineraugwen: We had soooo much fun with this chapter. Keep in mind this is only Part One. We'll get Part 2 up as soon as we possibly can. Remember R&R and tell us what think.
Seeya
