The Seb & Jeb chronicles

Part 1

It is the year 2064. Two 90 year old Alabama farmers sit on their front porch relaxing after a long hot day in scorching heat tending to their corn crops! The breeze from the rush hour traffic hits off their faces as it flies over head. (Yeah it's 2064 ok?!)

"You watchin' Raaaw t'night Seb?" Says Jeb as he chews on his synthetic corn ear.

"Yup." Seb replies sipping on his silver lemonade. (Bare with me I'm new to this futuristic crap! I dont watch Star Trek ok?!)

"Man can you remember the '97 screw job?" Jeb asks sitting back in his rocker and watching the 6:30 express train barely clear his roof.

"Yup." Seb sighs. "Ever'one 'members the dayum screw job!"

"Yup." Jeb replies.

"I didn't get laid for a month after that?"

"Canadian?"

"Yup!"

"Hell I GOT laid for a month after that."

"Shawn Michaels fan?"

"Yup."

"Had somet'in 'bout him that Shawn Michaels!"

"Yup, that he did."

"All the ladies liked him back in the day!"

"I know some of em still do!"

"Get outa here?"

"Yup! Sweet little Louanne down at the grocery store would still do him!"

"No shiaat?"

"I shiaat you not!"

"He must be a hundre'an twen'y!"

"At least!"

"And she's what?"

"Who louanne? hell she's only 'bout 72!"

"Some guys have all the luck!" Seb drinks some more.

"Talk about luck you wanna talk about Chris Jericho!"

"Yup!"

"First undisputed champiiiion!" Jeb spits into a bucket.

"Yup."

"Ya know how many times he was chapiiiion after that?"

"Nope."

"25 times!"

"25?" Seb shakes his head, "Get outa here?"

"I shiat you not Seb! 25 times he held that belt!"

"Sweet."

"Still goin strong ya know?"

"Get the hell outa here?" Sebs eyes widen.

"It's true!"

"The guy must be older an me!"

"He's not that old you ol' fart." Jeb cackles. "He's only 76 if he's a day!"

"Geeet outa here?"

"I'm tellin ya!"

"76 huh?" Seb shakes his head.

"And fitter than a flea on a dawg!" Jeb pours himself a glass of silver lemonade. "Chris Jericho." he says with a far off look in his eye.

"I tell ya who's still goin good huns!"

"who'sat?"

"Shane McMahon!"

"Shane.....ah ya right own that 'un Seb! that young'un sure an hell got his daddy's business brains aint he?"

"Yup."

"Pitty 'bout that sister o'his though weren't it?"

"Yup. what's her name? Sable?"

"No ya ol fart that's the blonde chick that was fightin last night...ya know the one her left titty dropped clear off in the ring!" Jeb cackles. "Stephanie was 'er name. Stephanie McMahon."

"Ah yup tha's the one alight." Seb sits back and looks up to watch the traffic."What in tarnation happen to her then?"

"Well I belieeeve she gone went an had her a breakdown."

"No shiaat?"

"I shiaat you not!"

"How in tarnation that go an' happen then?" Jeb shrugs. "Family hadda keep it hush hush ya know but ah...my cousin worked for their next door neighbour one time mowin' lawns and such..."

"Your cousin did never work for McMahon's neighbour hell your cousin aint never been firther than the grocery store you full of bull crap Jeb!"

"Am not! Anyway you don't know this cousin Im talkin' 'bout now you wanna let me finish the damn story or not?"

"Yadder yadder!"

"So anyway my cousin, he mowed lawns for their neighbours aight, not the McMahon's as such he did em for the neighbours of Stephanie and that guy she married."

"Which guy?"

"Ya know the fat guy? Used to be Shawn Michaels side kick?" (ouch! LOL)

"Awww yeah, I know who you mean."

"Well what's his damn name man?"

"I cant member!"

Jeb rolled his eyes and sat back. "Anyways my cousin hears this hollerin and screamin one time and Stephanie she came runnin outa the damn house as nekkid as the darn day she was born!"

"No Shiaat!?"

"I shiaat you not! She was cussin and tearin at her hair and a van pulls up, men in white coats pick her clear off the ground and take her away."

"Jeez." Seb shakes his head.

"Yup." Jeb takes a drink. "Some say it was the pressure."

"Well it's gonna get to ya somethin' like that aint it? I mean married to that fat guy an' all."

"Yup."

"Well guess that's the low flyers outa the way." Seb looks up to the sky. "Safe to be on ma way an' all."

"Yup." Jeb stands up. "See ya tomorrow then neighbour."

"Yup. I'll be seein ya. Have a good night y'all." Seb waves as he walks down the steps.

"Stoopid old fogey!" Jeb shakes his head picks up the glasses and goes back inside.