Disclaimer: Fairly standard. I'm borrowing Gravitation characters from Maki Murakami for fanfics and fun. Gravitation is shonen-ai and for that reason, (and a bit of swearing) it gets a PG-13 rating. I appreciate all criticism, so please read, enjoy, and review. To those that review: THANK YOU!

Bad Luck for Bad Luck?

Part 4: Fallout

Shuichi was quiet while they drove. He had a look on his face like he did when he was puzzling through a new set of song lyrics. It was frustration, determination, and thoughtfulness. Eiri winced. He hoped Shu was thinking about song lyrics, but he doubted it.

"Eiri, could you drop me off at Hiro's?" Shu asked quietly.

"Why?" Eiri countered.

"Well, because you don't want to talk about the tarot reading. I want to talk to someone about it. I don't want to make you mad, and you probably want to get more writing done anyway, right?"

All of that was true, but it made him feel a little jilted. "You could call him."

Shu blinked at him. "You want me to stay with you today?"

"Keh. Bratt, do what you want to do!" He said. He hated being seen as needy. Here he was again— wanting the opposite thing. Right now, he wanted Shu to be with him and Shu wanted to go. If Shu stayed with him, he'd drive Eiri crazy and he would want the kid to leave. Eiri's own inconsistency annoyed him.

Shu smiled and reached out to stroke Eiri's arm. Then Shu leaned over, resting his head on Eiri's arm for a moment. "Okay. Let's go home." Eiri was strangely mollified by that simple statement.

---

Once inside, Eiri kicked off his shoes and took off his coat, opening the closet. Shuichi asked, "You could perform a blessing, couldn't you? You said Tatsuha could, but so could you, right?"

Eiri hung his coat up and raised one eyebrow, removing the cigarette from his mouth and blowing smoke. "Idiot. I said Tatsuha would be willing." He pulled the baseball cap from his lover's head and tossed it onto the shelf above the coats.

"Oh," Shu said, crestfallen. The kid shrugged out of his jacket and put it away.

"Come here." Eiri pulled Shuichi into his arms. "Don't get all upset over this game. Maybe this lady wasn't a thief, but I don't let it rattle my world view. She was still just— "

Shuichi wrapped his arms around him, cutting him off and arguing, "But, she was so right about— "

"About half the population! Shuichi, everyone has something bad in the past, everyone has big goals, and change comes to everyone. They're all just truisms that can fit virtually anyone. You can't take this crap literally."

Shuichi snuggled into him, contentedly. "You smell good," he said.

"Idiot. You're the one who wanted to talk about this shit, now— "

"I did!" Shuichi kept his arms locked around Eiri, but turned so they could face each other. "You're the one who didn't want to discuss it! So I thought I'd change the subject! I'll just call Hiro later and— Hey!"

At the mention of Hiro, Eiri pulled away and broke Shu's grip on him. "Nevermind! Go ahead and talk to him now." Eiri had been making an effort to do what Shu wanted, and look what it got him. Eiri promised himself he was not jealous his lover would rather talk to his best friend than with a cranky writer. Heh! Normally, Eiri couldn't get the singer to shut up. He should be grateful. If the kid was busy yapping to Hiro, then Eiri could do some work.

"No! I want to be with you, now!" Shuichi stubbornly cinched his arms around Eiri's waist from behind as the writer tried to retreat to his office.

"Let go, pest!" Eiri tried to pry Shu off, but wasn't very successful.

"No! Eeiiiirrrriiii," the kid whined, collapsing to his knees behind Eiri. "What did I do wrong? One minute, you're hugging me and the next, you're pushing me away! You bastard!" The tears began. Eiri could feel his shirt soaking them up where Shu's face was pressed against his lower back.

"Stop it!! Ugh!" He tipped his head back in resignation. "Alright," he said, "What do you want to do?" The tears stopped just as quickly as they'd come. Shuichi had positively mercurial changes of mood.

"You mean it?" Shu sniffled. Yuck, Eiri thought, I want to change my shirt.

"Just let me smoke," he stipulated. The last time he'd made a hasty offer to do what the kid wanted, Shu had made a request for Eiri to go a whole day without smoking. He'd made it for almost half a day . . .

"Can we go to Kyoto?"

"WHAT?" Eiri turned around to look at Shuichi. All he could see was pink hair.

"I'm scared of bad luck," Shu said in a small voice. "A blessing has to be done in a temple, right?" He looked so vulnerable.

Eiri frowned. "No." This wasn't at all what he wanted to do with his time today.

"Is Tatsuha still in town?"

"You seriously want to do this?" He questioned. He crouched down and lifted Shuichi's chin, forcing the singer to look at him. Shuichi nodded. "Fine. You call Tatsuha on his cell, or try Ryuichi's place."

"You'll do it?"

Eiri gritted his teeth. "Tatsuha and I can do this for you. Hopefully, he hasn't gone home yet."

"Yay! Okay!" Shuichi danced his way into the living room, spinning and hooray-ing. Presumably, that was the last place he'd left his phone.

Eiri went into the study to gather stuff for the ceremony. From a box on the bookshelf, he pulled out prayer beads. He fingered the strand of 108 small beads which represented the desires or hindrances that must be extinguished for enlightenment to occur. The four smaller beads were for the Bodhisattvas from the Lotus Sutra: Limitless Practice, Superior Practice, Steadily Established Practice, and Pure Practice. The two large beads were the Buddha and the Bodhisattva, or the 'Father' and the 'Mother'.

This is ludicrous, Eiri thought. Tatsuha and I are such unworthy monks. We are so full of sin, and we're going to say the sutras of blessing . . . for my Shuichi. It was a very odd feeling. It would be an improper ritual, at best, but if it would give Shuichi peace of mind, it was worth it, wasn't it? The whole objective of Buddhist teaching was to clear the mind, seek peace and enlightenment. The duty of a monk was to help others to reach peace through prayer and ceremony by focusing awareness toward purity of thought and deed. Eiri scratched his head. He was not used to combining his past and present. Kyoto and the temple, his monk training, all those were part of a past he occasionally stepped into when he went back home. His present was life as a writer, in modern Tokyo, with Shuichi. Only for you, Shu-chan. You're the only one I would go to the trouble of doing this for.

Eiri sighed and wondered if Shuichi could keep himself still for half an hour while he was awake. –Or sleeping, for that matter. Last night, the kid had stolen the covers again, rolling and twisting. The chanted blessings weren't very exciting, but what good did it do if he didn't pay attention? A sutra in a horse's ear, Eiri thought. 1 Maybe it was an exercise in futility, but . . . he wanted to help Shu. Eiri rested his head against the bookshelf and groaned, suddenly realizing that with Tatsuha would come Ryuichi . . .

---

Eiri was lighting three sticks of incense, kneeling in front of the altar in the living room when the phone rang. The incense was an act of purification and an offering to respect to the Three Treasures; Buddha, Dharma, Sangha. The familiar scent that he associated with being in the temple helped him clear his mind. The altar was prepared.

Shuichi grabbed the phone, saying, "Shindou, here. Yes, Mika-san, hang on . . ." The singer brought the phone over to Eiri and held it out. He frowned. He didn't want to talk to his sister right now. He was trying to achieve a semblance of mental focus for this. He snatched the phone. "What?" He stood and walked into the kitchen with the phone to avoid any noise from Shuichi and any incoming distractions. He kicked the door shut behind him.

"Eiri, you sound like your usual sunny self." Her sarcasm was sharp enough to cut.

"Mika . . ."

She sighed. "Eiri, I want to talk with you. Are you busy?"

"Actually, I am." Should he bother to explain? She'd probably hear about it from Tatsuha, or from Tohma, through Ryuichi— if she and Tohma were still on speaking terms, that is. "I'm about to perform a blessing."

There was silence from her end. Then, "Here in Tokyo? You're serious?"

"Unfortunately." He heard a chair scrape and a small sigh of sound, like she'd just sat down.

"What's going on?" She didn't sound as if she was honestly interested; more like he'd surprised her.

In a fit of temper, he said, "I don't have to explain myself to you! What do you want?!"

"You bastard! You're so selfish! You're the one who offered to— "Mika choked back a sob, but her voice came out in a quaver. "Never mind. I won't bother you with my trivial problems!"

"Mika, wait." He cringed. He had offered to listen. It had been a while since he'd made the offer, but he hadn't given it with a time limit and he remembered the spirit of confidance between them when he'd made it. So now, he upheld that. He forced himself to continue. "Right now is a bad time," he temporized. "Do you want to come over later, or we could have dinner . . .?" When did I become so damn soft, he wondered.

Her voice sounded teary. "It's about 3:30 now; I'll be there around five." He heard her mutter, "screw Tohma," just before the phone clicked off. That last had sounded really pissed off. Wonderful, Eiri thought. I guess I should be thankful that her wrath isn't directed at me. He pushed the kitchen door open, back to its usual 'open' position. Shuichi wasn't in the living room, but he could hear voices from the hall.

Tatsuha walked into the living room, sneaking a glance over his shoulder. There was giggling behind him. "Aniki," Tatsuha greeted him. "I know Shuichi-kun is very serious about this, but you . . .?"

Eiri nodded and pointed to the tiered stone altar with its burning incense. At the top, there was a small, pure gold statue of a meditative Buddha, for meditative focus; a wooden stand with two plaques-- one for the ancestors who support their descendants' road to enlightenment and one for the blessings of nature; a candle, for the light of wisdom; a bell, as a reminder to focus on the moment; a wooden block, the sound that urges one to elevate his goals; fruit, rice, and water for sustenance and life. A vase of fresh flowers represented hearts open to beauty and the impermanence of all things. Eiri had spent a little time in contemplation as he prepared the altar. For a wonder, Shu had been quiet and watchful while he did it.

Tatsuha's eyebrows rose, noting his brother's seriousness, he laughed, deeply and heartily. "You are so smitten! All those years you teased me . . ."

"Shut up," Eiri said tersely. "Are we going to do this?"

His dark-haired brother shrugged, tapering his laughter down to a chuckle. "Sure." He held his hands together in prayer, saying, "it's our duty to help those who— "

"Yeah. I know the drill," Eiri told him. "It isn't exactly proper, but the spirit—"

Tatsuha gave him a sly half-grin. "I know the drill, brother. I also know you would never do this for anyone else. Shuichi said this was over a warning of bad luck from a tarot reading? I'm surprised you went along with it."

Eiri ground his teeth. Avoiding Tatsuha's needling, he called in the two energetic pop stars, ordered them to sit on the couch, to be quiet, and to behave. Every part of the ceremony, including altar preparation should be done with full awareness and knowledge. Worshipers must pay attention to what is being offered, or asked for during a blessing, or there was no meaning in it.

Ryuichi seemed to be very intimidated by Eiri, but fell asleep after about ten minutes of staring at Tatsuha and maintaining a state of inactivity. Either Tatsuha had been keeping him awake too long, or the singer simply could not be still and be conscious for more than ten minutes at a time. Maybe it was a combination of the two? Well, the ceremony wasn't for him, anyway. Shuichi fidgeted, but sat, more-or-less patiently through the chanting.

When they finished, Eiri stood. Shuichi jumped up and hugged him. "Thanks, lover," he whispered. Those words filled him with warmth. It was almost better than hearing him say, 'I love you'. Eiri didn't feel he had truly earned the latter, but he could accept thanks for helping to set Shu's mind at ease with a blessing. He felt peaceful. The recitation of the darani 2 had centered his mind and given him a temporary feeling of clarity and well-being.

Eiri hugged Shu back. "Feel better?"

"Actually, I do." Shu sounded surprised. Tatsuha chuckled and Shu turned to hug him, too. "Thanks," he told the other monk. "I'm grateful you came over."

"No problem." Tatsuha's perpetual smirk disappeared. Very seriously, he rested one hand on Shu's shoulder, saying, "You make aniki happy. Anyone who knows him can see how much he loves you."

Eiri lit a cigarette, letting his hair fall forward to cover his reactions. When he looked up and brushed his hair back, Shu was looking at him, grinning. So cute. Eiri's mind volunteered this bit of information without any prompting or conscious effort from him. It was just fact. Shuichi was cute, the sky was blue . . . He blew smoke out in a long stream. His eyes strayed from Shu to Tatsuha, who was waking Ryuichi up by tickling him.

Eiri held his cigarette in one hand and walked up to Shu, kissing him. Shu kissed back with interest, jumping on him and wrapping his short legs around Eiri's waist. Eiri supported him with a hand on the kid's butt. When their kiss broke, Eiri drawled, "We have guests, you know."

"Aww. They aren't paying any attention to us." Shuichi giggled. Eiri sneaked a glance around Shu's pink fuzzy hair. It was true. He'd have to kick those two out of the house before they got carried away. Shu turned Eiri's head so the writer was forced to look back at him.

"You're heavy. Mika's coming over at five and we don't have anything in the house to cook."

"You worry too much. We can just order take out. Then we can have some time to ourselves." Shuichi kissed him again, tongue probing. Definitely time to get rid of the guests, Eiri thought.

Aniki elder brother.

1 'A sutra in a horse's ear' is a Japanese proverb meaning 'a waste of effort'.

2 Darani protective blessings

Author's Notes: I am not Buddhist and I have no intention of offending the faith or anyone who belongs to that faith. I did some research, and received special help from Black Dios, but if I have misrepresented something, it's totally my fault. If I have somehow maligned Buddhist practices, I humbly apologize. I debated for so long whether to present the ceremony or not, for fear of stepping on religious rites I shouldn't be presuming upon. However, Shuichi insisted! . Argh! malicious grin It's not going to save him, either!!