Entry in a small black book-

January 9, 2004

Got off to a perfectly abominable start this evening. Woke to find that the latch of my coffin was stuck and had to punch a hole in the lid in order to get out. Now must find a whole new lid. In fact, should simply go coffin shopping.

Next, breakfast. Couldn't have been worse. Only drank half of the goblet of blood as the Rabbit King himself felt the need to drool in it before I was finished. He then proceeded to drool over my shoulder until I shoved a napkin into his mouth. Found out that Spike is officially a legal vampire. Don't know more details as I do not particularly care. Carmilla is now sleeping with the elf, apparently. Louis is obviously depressed by this as he is moping about in the corners more often than usual. Then, when isn't that pathetic pansy depressed? From what I gather, Lestat somehow has to do with the turbulence in that relationship. I was under the impression that Lestat was sleeping with another party, but old habits die hard. Can't teach an old vampire new tricks. Especially when that vampire is the Brat Prince.

What else has been revealed at breakfast? Let's see. . .the Dracula brothers are bitter. Something about gambling with elves and cough syrup. Some remarks were flung and the Count was hit hard with one stinger about his precious Mina. Radu stormed out after that one. He's looking a bit bedraggled, probably due to his cough syrup addiction. Or perhaps it's due to the vampire flu that's been hitting the nation quite hard. Mem- must watch self. Of course, rumors have been flying, and Radu's illness could have more to do with a certain blonde floozy than the flu.

Anyway, went off down to the kitchen to find something, or someone, to heighten my low spirits. Not one girl was drawn in by my advances, which is rather surprising, and I was forced to retreat to my chambers to sulk. As usual.

Upon reaching chambers, was met by a most unpleasant surprise. Varney had obviously been hanging about, as there were puddles of drool and rabbit fur. I ignored this, making a note to contact the youngest and prettiest maid available to clean in front of my room for me. After opening the door, I was met with yet a more unpleasant surprise. The Rabbit King himself, wanting me to play fetch with him. I grabbed the ball from his grubby claws and threw it with all my preternatural strength out the window. He promptly morphed into some sort of rabbit bat and flew after it. Locked window as precaution in case he should find the ball and be itching for another round. Also closed drapes. Read until tea time.

Tea consisted of grabbing a goblet and choosing to leave the room or sit in silence as none of the coven is speaking to anyone else. Was about to choose the former, when was stopped by the High and Mighty Count. Varney showed up, which was v. surprising, though he had several large twigs in his hair. Carmilla. . .must have broken up with the elf, as found her sitting next to me, leaning quite close. SCORE!!! Turned my chair around to face her, shutting out Drooling Rabbit Boy. Gloated by smirking over Carmilla's shoulder at the defeated Louis. Am going to win this. I like winning. Though might have to sort of secure my victory a bit over Pointe du Lac. . .

*******

(Journal of Varney. . .with some chocolate smudges and smears of liquid Ritalin)

Was walking the halls earlier when came across a most peculiar sight. Radu was looking nervous outside Lestat's door when the door opened and Radu hurried in. Quickly forgot my quest to the attic to find the squeaky toy and slid under the door in shade form to find out more. Radu had brought quite fancy looking French bubbly bath with him to give to Lestat. He then began to kiss Lestat, who quickly lead him into the next room, where Lestat keeps his bed and coffin. I would have followed, but from what I glimpsed through the keyhole, I'm glad I didn't. Instead I waited outside until Radu came out. He seemed very rattled to see me, and turned a funny color when I asked him what was going on. He was missing his hair chopsticks and his glasses, but hurried off before I could tell him so. I decided to wait and ask Lestat what was going on, but then decided not to because he probably wouldn't say. Louis and Carmilla were like that too the couple of times I got caught at the keyhole.

Went to the kitchen to find some napkins to chew, but ended up in the wrong place again. Ruthven was there adding something like green pepper to one goblet of blood. I guess he likes his with extra seasoning, though he was adding it to Louis' cup, not to his own. He hastily left, after Carmilla called him, and I took the time to switch the blood in the goblets, so Ruthven could have his with the seasoning.

*******

(Leather bound "Dierey" entry. . .)

Little brothers! Cannot STAND mine a day longer! The gambling, the trouble, can the fool not take care of himself? Have threatened to call Mircea. How DARE he insult my darling princess Mina! What a nuisance he is, damn him! Have requested that Ruthven keep tabs on dear Rudolf Cel Frumos. Horrible, wretched Rudolf! I don't care about childhood trauma! I went through it too, and I didn't become a. . .MANWHORE! This coven is breaking apart. . .I, rightful Prince of Wallachia, shall not let this happen. . .this. . .this. . .UTTER FAILURE! The coven has become a sex house. . .I must end this. Louis and Carmilla, Carmilla and Ruthven, Ruthven and Lestat (I saw Ruthven slinking about that hallway after supper, as though in a trance) Lestat and Radu, Louis and Lestat! Probably Varney and Selene. . .though I doubt Varney's powers of seduction or ability to be seduced. NO MORE!

*******

(In French in a flamboyant hand in a black leather journal)

Quite a night! Mon Dieu, Louis is most certainly not speaking avec moi, and I am dreadfully worried about the welfare of our relationship. Oh, the trials of being moi! Radu came by with a lovely bottle of rose scented bubble bath from Paris. He is a rather charming fellow, v. good looking and quite good natured when not drugged from his cough syrup binging. I must have him! Oh, did I write that? Tsk tsk. . .well, no one shall read this, I shall make quite sure of that. Oh, Radu, mon amour, you have me under your princely spell! I must never let him know, or I might lose his affections! Always play hard to get, that's what ma mere always said. Radu left me in quite a daze. . .almost forgot my troubles with Louis.

Louis. . .still moping over Carmilla! Bad enough with Claudia, but Carmilla as well? She doesn't even love him. . .drags him around like a hopeless rag doll is more like it. Throwing me looks in the hall. . .I can pick up on her brainwaves. . .Slut? Moi? Non, cheri. YOU are the only whore in this coven. Merci.

Ruthven had been prowling about my door after supper. . .went to inquire what his lordship desired and he tried to put his hands on me! "Oh, Lestat, just once, my love. . ." Ugh! Degrading. To be touched by that. . .PERV! He is by far the LAST on my list of desirables. . .if even that. He was quite persistent. I gave him his five minutes and let him toddle off, feeling a sense of accomplishment for having kissed the Great Lestat. Probably going off the see Carmilla, as they have been hanging about together. All the more proof that Carmilla is quite the whore indeed, sleeping her way around the coven, stealing my beautiful lovers from me. . must hold onto Radu and salvage Louis. . .slut indeed! Hmph. . .

Is this any way to treat a marquis?

******

(Written in a small black book that smells of roses.)

Can no longer drink. Can no longer sleep. Am drooping more than ever since the loss of my beloved. Shall kill Lestat for this one. . .I wish to burn him sometimes but will never go through with it. Though am not as restrained from killing Ruthven. The fiend. . .he's not helping the situation at all. He must be in with Lestat. . .he was prowling u there and spent a good five minutes in Lestat's room with him, after which making a run straight to Carmilla's room. Perhaps someone can help me. . .someone with stealth and a pitying soul. . .

******

(Slightly moist pages again)

Louis came to my door today. At first I thought he wanted a rabbit, but it turns out that he wanted my help. He says that some people are being mean and want him to be sad. I said he was always sad, but he said sadder than that. He wanted to know if I'd seen anything going on between Lestat and Ruthven. I told him that Lestat was seeing Radu and playing with him like he and Carmilla used to do. He thanked me and told me to keep my eyes open.

Haven't blinked in an hour. . .eyes getting crispy. . .

******

(Pink paper, Myrrh-scented diary)

Horrible! Horrible! Fighting all over! On one side of the house all one can hear is yelling in French. . .the other side screaming in Romanian! Will take Selene and Varney to the park to get away from it all. . .Varney does love to feed the ducks. Will take Ruthven along as well. . .it's a nice moon out to maybe sneak off to howl at. . .