Chapter 8: Awkward Moments
I have absolutely nothing to say to this girl.
Barbara smiled tentatively at Helena, who had been stealing glances at the redhead as she silently pushed her green beans around her plate with her fork. Helena glanced away hurriedly. Barbara stifled a sigh. If only Helena wouldn't shut her out so completely, she might be able to get a dialogue started. She racked her brain for another topic of conversation to break the awkward silence.
Nothing came to mind.
Damn.
C'mon, Gordon. Think. You were Homecoming Queen for God's sake. Miss Congeniality. You used to be able to talk to anyone, anywhere. What is the problem?
The problem? That was obvious.
The problem was, it counted.
The problem was that Barbara Gordon, who could chat up any stranger, flirt with any guy, wisecrack during a street fight or under torture, discuss any topic from Chemistry to Shakespeare, had a little-known difficulty. When it counted, she couldn't find a thing to say.
Not a blessed thing.
Damn, damn, damn!
When she didn't really care, when she was just talking to be talking, flirting, wisecracking, even lecturing, she could find a million things to say. Good things. Interesting things. Lord, she could keep the interest of even the most uninspired seniors at the High School. She could get the shyest blind date to open up and talk about himself. She could get information out of just about anyone during the course of her investigations. But, put her in the company of a guy she really liked or a 15-year old girl she was adding to her household, and she became this dull, gray, uninteresting lump of a personality. Pathetic, really.
Barbara cleared her throat. She had to try, after all.
"So…you, um, used to go to New Gotham High?"
"Yeah."
"I thought I remembered your face." Barbara neglected to mention she'd been running that face through a computer search of New Gotham recently. "You used to be, um, a cheerleader or something, didn't you?"
"Pep squad."
"Ah. Yes. Pep Squad. I bet that was a lot of fun. Well, it hasn't been that long…maybe you could get back into it when school starts up for the Fall."
Helena shrugged. "Nah. Pep Squad's for dorks."
"Ah." Secretly, Barbara had to agree with that statement, but it wouldn't do to say so. "Well, you could always go out for sports or something."
"No!" Helena was vehemently opposed to that idea. Just what she needed—everyone finding out about her weird-ass abilities when she leapt over the basket on a jump shot or something.
Barbara looked mildly surprised. "Okay, no problem. You don't have to do any activities at all if you don't want to. I just thought it might get a bit lonely for you around here. I often have to stay later at school to help the kids in my classes and supervise activities."
Helena shrugged. What did this lady care if she got lonely? Besides, Helena didn't need anyone. She'd been living on her own for over six months, after all, and she'd been doing just fine, thank you very much. She glowered at the tablecloth and scuffed one foot on the carpet. "Don't worry about it," she muttered.
Silence weighed heavily in the dining room once again.
Helena squirmed and stabbed at her beans with her fork. God, she wished dinner were over! She had nothing to say to this lady, and the less said, the better, anyway. Last thing she needed was for this lady to go all maternal on her. She might be Helena's foster parent for now, but she better have another think coming if she thought she was going to take the place of…anyway, this lady better just keep her distance, or else!
Barbara stifled another sigh as she regarded the teenager across from her. There went another topic of conversation. She cast about in her mind for a subject that might stand a chance of evoking a more than one-word response from the girl, yet which would not be so personal as to seem threatening. It was a mighty short list.
"I trust everyone enjoyed their meal?" Alfred materialized at her left elbow, efficiently whisking away her dinner plate and moving around the table to Helena's side. Barbara glared at him.
Blithely reaching for Helena's plate, he ignored her poisonous stare, inquiring whether anyone wanted dessert as though he hadn't even seen it. Bastard! Any other evening, he was perfectly willing to accompany Barbara at dinner, but tonight, when she needed him? Oh, no! He had to go all Jeeves on her, insisting on playing the servant while she struggled alone to make conversation with this unresponsive kid. "It's not my place, Miss Barbara," he'd said, firmly, and no amount of coaxing or pleading had been able to budge him.
I am SO going to get him for this!
To Barbara's intense relief, Helena declined dessert and asked to be excused from the table. Huh. Looked like Selina'd taught the little barbarian some manners, anyway. Freed, the girl retreated in the direction of her room. Pointedly ignoring Alfred, Barbara shoved away from the table and did the same, retreating in the direction of the living room. Let him do all the dishes if he wanted to be a servant so bad! She decided to go over the house rules and the security system with Helena tomorrow. Right now, she just needed some space to adjust to the change. They both did.
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In the kitchen, Alfred shook his head as he listened to the profound silence permeating the atmosphere of the household. He supposed he could have bent the rules, eaten dinner with the two, helped to soothe some of the tension and awkwardness between the two young mistresses. He stood by his decision to remain true to his role, however. It was one thing to have shared supper with Miss Barbara on occasion; technically, she was not his employer, and sharing meals had done much to ease the loneliness of their solitary lives. Furthermore, allowing Miss Barbara to respond to his lonely state of existence in Master Bruce's absence had permitted her to preserve a sense of dignity in accepting Alfred's assistance. With the addition of the child to the household, however, things had changed. However illegitimate, Miss Helena was a Wayne, and it would not be proper for a butler to fraternize with the members of the family whom he served.
Alfred had to admit, however, that he had already crossed that particular line in his relationship with both Master Bruce and Master Richard. Having had a hand in the raising of the both of them as well as playing a major, if supportive, role in their…extracurricular activities, he found himself to be as much parent, teammate, and confidant as servant in his relationship with the two. Really, his servant role was little more than an act, an illusion to cover the true nature of the role he played within the Wayne household.
His father would probably turn in his grave if he could see him. Alfred came of a long line of butlers, and the traditions and responsibilities of the role were a matter of Pennyworth family honor. Edmund Pennyworth, like his father and grandfather before him, had served the same English family his entire lifetime, and had taken great pride in knowing his place within the household. Little patience had he had for his second son's unseemly sense of ambition and adventure. If Edmund Pennyworth had ever suspected that Alfred had forgotten his place to the extent that he had, he would have disowned him for certain.
Bad enough that Alfred had taken employment with an American. That alone had nearly caused his father to disown him and had caused a family rift which had taken years to set right. Yanks, with their new money and their bold ways were not held in high regard by the gentry of England and those who took pride in serving them. Alfred always had been a bit headstrong, however. Even as a lad, he had earned himself a beating on more than one occasion for disgracing his family with his stubbornness and his bold ways. Subservience wasn't really in his nature, for all he had become adept at creating the illusion of such. He probably wouldn't have lasted two minutes, serving an English household. The easy informality with which Americans interacted suited him much better.
Still, it wouldn't do to be sitting down to dinner with a member of the household. Not that he didn't occasionally sup with Master Bruce and Master Richard—but he had no relationship with this child which would warrant that sort of familiarity. Furthermore, the safety and secrecy of his true role within the Wayne household depended on the preservation of the illusion of subservience. And this meant that young Miss Helena must grow accustomed to dealing with him in that role. Right from the start. No exception.
Alfred had felt badly for poor Miss Barbara, however. The child was difficult; of that, there was no doubt. Alfred had been painfully aware of the uncomfortable and lengthy silences between the two at dinner. The presence of another person might have done much to ease the awkward tension. Still, it was Miss Barbara who was going to need to form the primary relationship with the child. He and Master Richard could lend support and advice, but it was going to be up to Miss Barbara to establish a relationship and earn the girl's trust. Child rearing was largely a matter of trial and error, and Miss Barbara was going to have to make and learn from her own mistakes. However tempting to step in and play the hero by gaining the child's trust and easing the transition, he and Master Richard were going to have to be very careful to resist that temptation and do nothing to undermine the establishment of that primary relationship.
For Alfred, this would be easier: He had already had plenty of experience limiting himself to a coaching role when first Master Richard, then poor, young Master Jason, and finally Master Timothy had been taken in by Master Bruce. Master Richard, however, liked to play the hero and was accustomed to the role. Alfred and he had already had several conversations regarding the necessity of Master Richard limiting his role with the child. Master Richard had agreed with the wisdom of this. Alfred had his doubts, however, as to whether Master Richard would be able to stand back and watch Miss Barbara learn from her inevitable mistakes and failures with Miss Helena without attempting to jump in and save the day. This was something, however, that Miss Barbara was going to have to figure out on her own.
Alfred intended to watch Master Richard like a hawk.
