Carter broke the kiss. "We can't do this," he said, trying to catch
his breath.
"Of course we can," I said, reaching for him.
He gently encircled my wrists in his hands. "Abby, what about Jake? What about Jessica?"
Suddenly I felt extremely guilty. What was I doing? Cheating on my boyfriend? I never thought I'd sink so low. A strangled sob escaped from my throat. Carter pulled me into his arms.
"We'll work something out," he said.
I pulled away from him. "What's to work out? You dump Jessica and I'll dump Jake. It's really simple, Carter."
He shook his head. "I can't do that," he said. "I want to, believe me, but. . .so much money has been spent on the wedding and. . ."
I cut him off. "Money? Carter, I can't believe that you. . ."
This time he cut me off. "Not my money, Abby. Her parents' money. I can't just call the whole thing off."
"Why the hell not? You can't have both of us, Carter."
"I know." Our eyes met and I could see he was being torn apart.
"Look," I said. "For me, the choice is simple. Between you and Jake, I'll take you. But if you even have to think about it. . ."
He kissed me again and I could feel that he meant it. "I love you, Abigail Lockhart," he whispered in my ear.
I rested my head on his chest. "Are you gonna hurt me, John Carter?"
"I hope not. We'll just have to see how this pans out."
I headed back towards my car. He followed me. "That's not good enough for me," I said. "I need to know now. Me or her?"
He looked at me helplessly. "You know I can't just walk away from her."
"Why not?" I grumbled. "You walked away from me."
"What?" He was getting slightly angry. "Abby, you were the one who walked away, not me. And I still have no idea why."
Hot tears welled up behind my eyes. "I was afraid you were going to hurt me."
"Was that all?"
"Every other man I've ever loved has hurt me. Why would you be any different? My daddy broke my heart by leaving me with Maggie. Richard broke my heart by sleeping with someone else while we were still married. Eric broke my heart by saying he didn't want me in his life. I didn't want to wait around to see what sort of new and inventive way you'd find to break my heart."
"Abby, don't be ridiculous." Carter reached out to take my hand but I jerked it back.
"I'm not being ridiculous. I'm completely serious."
He put his hands on my hips. "I would never hurt you."
I pushed him away. "You're hurting me right now."
He kicked at the gravel on the driveway. "I don't know what to do."
"Leave her!"
Neither of us said anything for a minute. "John?" We both jumped. Jessica was standing in the doorway, outlined by the dim light of the hallway. "Is everything OK?"
"Yeah. I'll be inside in a second," Carter said, not taking his eyes off me.
"OK, hurry." Jessica smiled at me. "I'm making him watch that movie with the singing goats." She went inside and shut the door behind her.
I raised my eyebrows. "The Sound of Music," Carter clarified. "She's talking about the part with the puppet show."
"She seems like a real intelligent girl, John. I hope you too will be very happy together." Without waiting to hear what he was going to say, I climbed in my car and drove home.
"Of course we can," I said, reaching for him.
He gently encircled my wrists in his hands. "Abby, what about Jake? What about Jessica?"
Suddenly I felt extremely guilty. What was I doing? Cheating on my boyfriend? I never thought I'd sink so low. A strangled sob escaped from my throat. Carter pulled me into his arms.
"We'll work something out," he said.
I pulled away from him. "What's to work out? You dump Jessica and I'll dump Jake. It's really simple, Carter."
He shook his head. "I can't do that," he said. "I want to, believe me, but. . .so much money has been spent on the wedding and. . ."
I cut him off. "Money? Carter, I can't believe that you. . ."
This time he cut me off. "Not my money, Abby. Her parents' money. I can't just call the whole thing off."
"Why the hell not? You can't have both of us, Carter."
"I know." Our eyes met and I could see he was being torn apart.
"Look," I said. "For me, the choice is simple. Between you and Jake, I'll take you. But if you even have to think about it. . ."
He kissed me again and I could feel that he meant it. "I love you, Abigail Lockhart," he whispered in my ear.
I rested my head on his chest. "Are you gonna hurt me, John Carter?"
"I hope not. We'll just have to see how this pans out."
I headed back towards my car. He followed me. "That's not good enough for me," I said. "I need to know now. Me or her?"
He looked at me helplessly. "You know I can't just walk away from her."
"Why not?" I grumbled. "You walked away from me."
"What?" He was getting slightly angry. "Abby, you were the one who walked away, not me. And I still have no idea why."
Hot tears welled up behind my eyes. "I was afraid you were going to hurt me."
"Was that all?"
"Every other man I've ever loved has hurt me. Why would you be any different? My daddy broke my heart by leaving me with Maggie. Richard broke my heart by sleeping with someone else while we were still married. Eric broke my heart by saying he didn't want me in his life. I didn't want to wait around to see what sort of new and inventive way you'd find to break my heart."
"Abby, don't be ridiculous." Carter reached out to take my hand but I jerked it back.
"I'm not being ridiculous. I'm completely serious."
He put his hands on my hips. "I would never hurt you."
I pushed him away. "You're hurting me right now."
He kicked at the gravel on the driveway. "I don't know what to do."
"Leave her!"
Neither of us said anything for a minute. "John?" We both jumped. Jessica was standing in the doorway, outlined by the dim light of the hallway. "Is everything OK?"
"Yeah. I'll be inside in a second," Carter said, not taking his eyes off me.
"OK, hurry." Jessica smiled at me. "I'm making him watch that movie with the singing goats." She went inside and shut the door behind her.
I raised my eyebrows. "The Sound of Music," Carter clarified. "She's talking about the part with the puppet show."
"She seems like a real intelligent girl, John. I hope you too will be very happy together." Without waiting to hear what he was going to say, I climbed in my car and drove home.
