A/N: I can't update much. School has started and I no longer have a life of my own. So chapters will be really short or not at all. Take your pick.

Leitheindel: Wow. You're the only person to review. Unless Crimson Dragoness has listened to me and reviewed chapter four yet. Stupid prat. Yes. I'll try to update, but, like I said, I have no time and with 5-6 stories going at the same time. *shakes head at her own stupidity* I'm soooo dumb.

This chapter is dedicated to Leitheindel, cause she is my only reviewer for my last chapter ^^ Not even my two Beta Readers reviewed. I feel abused.

DISCLAIMER: HP stuff belongs to JKR. Star Wars stuff belongs to George Lucas... That's the guy, right??

*~*~*~*~*

"Mom. You are /not/ going to teach at Hogwarts!" René says, knowing the look in Ellen's eyes.

"Ah, come on, why not?" Ellen asks.

"You /love/ to tell anyone who will listen about /my/ love life. No way in hell are you going to do that when I'm teaching. It drives me insane! I really don't need to be embarrassed in front of 500 plus people daily. The only way that you will teach at Hogwarts is if you let me curse you with the Unmentionable," René says, looking calm, but inside she is murderous.

"Yes, I defiantly agree," Severus says, also not wanting everyone to know about his soon to be 'relationship' with René.

Minerva eyes the two of them, "So, what is in the future for you two?"

"Romance," Ellen says.

"THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT I MEAN! YOU DID IT AGAIN! YOU CAN'T HELP BUT SAY STUFF LIKE THAT! IF YOU TAUGHT AT HOGWARTS, I WOULD NEVER GET A MOMENT OF PEACE! 'DO YOU REALLY LIKE SNAPE?' 'ARE YOU AND PROFESSOR SNAPE REALLY GOING OUT?' AAARRRGGHH! I THOUGHT I HAD ESCAPED ALL THAT WHEN I MOVED TO ENGLAND! BUT, NOOO, I DON'T THINK THAT IT'S POSSIBLE! RYAN MAY NOT MIND, IN FACT, HE USES IT TO HIS ADVANTAGE! BUT I CAN'T STAND IT!! IT'S FUCKING EMBARRASSING THAT EVERY TIME SOME GUY COMES TO THE COTTAGE YOU'LL TELL THEM THAT HE WILL GO OUT WITH ME! SOMETIMES THAT GUY CAME HERE TO ASK ME OUT! AND THEN /YOU/ SCARE THEM AWAY! COME ON! IT SCARES ME THAT YOU KNOW MORE ABOUT ME THAN I DO, JUST THINK OF THE GUY'S SURPRISE!" René is pretty near tears.

"It's creepy," Severus says.

"I'm sorry dear; I never knew you felt that way. You may cast the Unmentionable on me," Ellen looks sadly at her daughter.

"I think a potion would work better," Severus says.

"Curses last longer," René says.

"Curses have counter-curses," Severus says.

"You can control the exact outcome of curses," René says.

"If you brew the potion properly, you can control the outcome with potions, too," Severus says. René opens her mouth to reply, but she is interrupted.

"Oh, carry on your argument later," Minerva grumbles.

"I'll take the curse from my daughter, thank you very much. I /know/ how could she is. I don't know how good you are at potions," Ellen says, looking at Severus.

"Your choice," Severus shrugs.

"Okay then, Aegre Loqui!" René intones, pointing her wand at Ellen. Nothing appears to happen. René clips her wand back on her belt with a satisfied smirk on her face.

"Er, nothing happened," Maurie says. Ryan, Rory and Ellen nod in agreement. Minerva, Severus and René roll their eyes.

"It /looked/ like nothing happened," Minerva says.

"Like it was supposed to," Severus continues.

"Try saying that me an' Severus will get together," René grins.

"René is-" Ellen begins to cough, "René is-"

"It worked," René says, completely unsurprised.

"You better come and see Albus then," Minerva says.

"But it's supper time!" Ellen complains.

Minerva stares at her like she is crazy, "Oh yeah. Time difference. Eat a little bit, then come to Hogwarts. Lunch is in two hours."

"See you later, René," Severus gets up and starts walking towards the fireplace. René grabs his wrist.

"Not yet! I've got to get my Lap-Top and CD player to Hogwarts. I'll need your help," She says.

"Do I have a choice?" Severus asks.

"No. We're leaving when I'm finished, okay Mom? If you are not done by then, you'll have to find a way to get to Hogwarts by yourself," René says.

"She can't get to Hogwarts by Floo," Severus says.

"And why not?" René asks, "We can."

"Hogwarts defence system. I'll explain later. Ellen will have to Apparate," Severus says.

"Whatever," René drags him out of the kitchen, through the living room, down the stairs, through the hall and into her room.

"Where are your Tab-Lob and CC player?" Severus asks.

"It's /Lap-Top/ and C/D/ player," René picks up her Lap-Top, "This is a Lap- Top."

"Okay. The DD player?" Severus asks.

"I don't have a DVD player. I only have a small, dink ass TV. Maybe I should get a DVD player," René ponders.

"DPD, VT?" Severus looks completely confused. René realizes that he can't get the abbreviations straight.

"Yeah. You know. C3P0. R2D2?" René confuses Severus further.

"What? What the hell..." Severus stares at her.

"You know," René says, knowing perfectly well that he will not know, "Star Wars?"

"What?" Severus asks again.

"I'll show you!" René grabs her wand and waves it. It turns into a green lightsaber. Severus is dressed as Darth Vader.

"*inhale* What the hell? *inhale*" Severus asks in Darth Vader's voice, "*exhale, inhale* AAAAHHHH!!!! *inhale* I sound funny!"

"Of course, you're Darth Vader. He sounds funny!" René grins and holds up her humming lightsaber/wand.

"*inhale* What's that you're holding?" Severus/Darth Vader asks.

"My lightsaber. Get your wand out!" René says. Severus reaches for his wand and discovered that it is a lightsaber like René's.

"*inhale* My wand! *inhale*" Severus gasps.

"It's a lightsaber now. Turn it on," René says.

"*inhale* What?!? *exhale*" Severus says, "*inhale* How?"

"Here," René grabs his lightsaber and turns it on. She hands it back to him.

"*inhale* What? It's red! Red! *inhale* It's contaminated! *inhale* Why do you get green! *inhale* Evil, evil Gryffindor colour!" Severus stares at his lightsaber/wand in horror.

"Darth Vader had a red lightsaber. And he was very evil. Until Luke... Er... Whatever Luke did. But anyways, that is before that part I'm talking about. So, now we fight! 'Till I lose a hand! Wait... Didn't Luke have a blue lightsaber before he lost his hand? Or was it green? Oh, I don't remember, it's been too long since I saw... DAMN! Now I forgot the movie title! I only remember the last ones name, Return of the Jedi! Oh well. The lightsaber colour doesn't mater. Get ready to fight! It only ends when you cut off my hand!" René chirps.

"*inhale* What?!? *inhale* I am /not/ cutting off your hand! *inhale* Maybe your head, but not your hand!" Severus stares.

"That is the way the movie went. I know. I saw the movie!" René pouts.

"*inhale* Then why don't we watch the movie again. *inhale* I don't think Dark Whatever and whoever you are fought in your room," Severus offers, not even knowing what a movie is.

"Oh, ruin my fun..." René grumbles, but waves her lightsaber/wand. It turns back into a wand and Severus is wearing his black robes again.

"Let's get your crap and get out of here,' Severus grumbles, not even thanking René.

"Right," René says and grabs a duffle-bag from her closet. "Pass me my Lap- Top, please." Severus hands her the slim black computer. She gently puts it into her bag.

"CD player."

"I don't' know what that is," Severus says.

"You put everything into the bag, then. I'll get all the stuff I want," René gets up and un-plugs her CD player. She then hands it to Severus and he puts it besides the Lap-Top. René puts her TV into the bag. She then waves her wand and all of her books fly helter-skelter into the bag.

"If this bag wasn't magicked, all of this stuff would never fit," René grins.

"That's illegal, you know," Severus says.

"So? If they tried to catch every person with a magicked bag, it would take years. Besides, if the Ministry is worried about magicked bags, they need to get their priorities straight. You-Know-Who is back to life!" René shrugs. Severus lifts up the bag and, surprisingly, it is feather-light.

"And a weightless charm," Severus says.

"Whoopee," René says sarcastically while she walks out of her room. Severus follows her out.

"Hey Mom! We're leaving for Hogwarts now!" René calls.

*~*~*~*~*

A/N: Shit ass ending, I know. I'm too lazy to read any more of the faint pencil lines... And type this in general... *sighs* I have no life of my own. It's all FF and school work... See yah in whenever...

*attempts to leave dramatically and falls asleep*

Mage Kitty =^.^=