Summary: Charlie and Adam. Kori and Jesse. Two perfect couples. Only one couple has two guys. When the Ducks don't exactly like the idea of homosexuality, things get a little out of hand and people make choices they never would've imagined…*sequel to Realization* SLASH!
This is slash so if you don't like it…DON'T READ IT!
Disclaimer: I only own Kori, Shane, Jordan, Bryan, Jesse, and Yolanda. Everyone else belongs to Disney, sadly…
Author's Note: Thanks SO MUCH to Meme for helping me out: This chapter is dedicated to her because she is the best!
Adam
***
I knew I shouldn't have gotten so upset after Jesse's comment about Damon and Charlie. After all, he didn't know that Charlie was my boyfriend. But something inside of me snapped and I had to leave before something bad happened. This was the big problem with trying to keep a reltaionship under wraps. You weren't supposed to show any emotion when your other half's name was mention. I needed to learn how to do that. Soon.
"Are you alright?" Charlie asked me that night as we headed off to sleep. As Kori had predicted, Shane gave us our own room, letting Ken share his room with him.
I nodded, "Yeah, I'm just a little tired." I didn't want to tell him about the whole Damon thing. At least not yet. Whatever Charlie didn't know, wouldn't hurt him. At least not yet. It wasn't as if I'd never tell him; I just perfered to put it off until later.
"Are you sure?" he looked at my skeptically. I forced a yawn and shook my head, yes. The conversation was closed. We lay on two separate beds in silence for awhile. This was too weird. Sure Charlie and I had spent a lot of time together lately, but we'd never spent nights together.
"Night Adam," Charlie mummbled sleepily.
"Night." I turned towrads him, watching as he drifted peacefully off into a world of his dreams. Soon, he was snoring softly, oblivious to the problems of the world. Or at least the problems in his life. My life. I wondered how he did it. Didn't he ever worry about people finding out? Then again, I reasoned with myself, he wasn't the type to really care what other people thought anyway. They only reason why everyone didn't already know about us was probably because of me. Suddenly, I felt sick. My insecurities were holding him back and eating me alive. Not to mention with everything that was happening with Damon, I almost felt as if it was a bad omen. From all the things Kori and Jesse had told me and from what I'd seen before, Damon wasn't an insecure guy. If he were to date Charlie, everyone would know. He got what he wanted and frankly, he wanted my boyfriend. He was cute, aggressive, and quite secure with who he was. In short, Damon was everything I wasn't. And I was more than a little afraid of what would happen when he decided that he wanted to make a move. After hours of tossing and turning, I finally fell into a fitfull sleep.
Everything was so dark. Everything. We were at a party at Shane's house and everywhere around me, people were hooking up. Shane and Jordan on the couch, Fulton and his girlfriend on the counter top, Portman and some random girl, Guy and Connie, Julie and Scooter, Bryan and some girl, Averman, Russ, Ken, Goldberg…all with somebody. What the hell was going on? I ran to another room. It was empty except for Jesse and Kori in a dark corner.
"Go away, Adam." Kori groaned as Jesse kissed her, sucking on her collarbone. I turned and ran out of the room, up the stairs and to the guest room where Charlie and I were staying. Charlie. He would know what was going on. I swung the door open.
"Charlie," I gasped, "You have to…" I stopped hosrt at the sight of the pair in front of me. Damon and Charlie.
"Adam…I…" he stuttered. Words could not describe the feeling rising from deep withi me. My throat literally closed. Suddenly, I was practically gasping for air and tears were welled in my eyes.
"Why?" I squeaked, eyes darting from a blurred image of Damon to a blurred image of Charlie. Damon. Damn that stupid bastard, wearing that damn smirk of his.
"He's just," Charlie paused and walked over to me, putting his hands on both my shoulders. I shrugged him off and turned my back to him.
"Adam. Banksie. Are you okay? Listen."
I nodded.
"It's nothing personal. It's just that Damon's not so insecure about who he is and what he wants. You are. He's more…like me in a way. We just get along so much better and we…click better. That's all. I'm sorry, Adam."
I spun around, letting the tears fall and the anger get the best of me, "Nothing personal? I think it's very personal! Just admit it, Charlie! You just want him more because he's willing to tell the whole world that he's gay! And you know what? I'm sorry too! I wish I could be that guy for you. After everything we've been through, no it's not okay. I'm not okay! I can't fucking stand the thought of you being taunted all the time and that's why I won't let anyone know! Yes! I'm insecure and I'm letting it take over, but you know what? At least I have the balls to admit it!" I was hysterical by the end, crumpling under the gaze of a shocked Charlie and even Damon. I tried to compose myself, but everytime I tried I cried harder. Charlie reached out to help me up, but I pushed him away. Quickly grabbing some of my shit, I raced out the door.
"Adam!" he called.
"Fuck you, Conway!" was my response. I ran as fast as I could out of the house and down the street. Nobody came after me. Not even Kori or Portman. Or Charlie. It suddenly got colder. I shivered, walking alone through the darkness. Flashes of the stuipd smirk on Damon's face ran through my head as…
I bolted up, gasping. Where was I? Shane's house. Kori's friend. Winter break. Oh. Right. I looked over to Charlie's bed to find it empty. The covers were messily thrown around and his pajamas were scattered, as if haphazardly thrown there, which meant that he'd gotten up awhile ago. I glanced at the clock. 9:30 AM. I ran a hand through my sweaty hair, calming down a bit. It was just a dream. Just a fucking dream. Charlie was still my boyfriend. Everything was going to be okay. Besides, Fulton's girlfriend wasn't with us on this vacation and neither was Scooter.
"You're definitely losing it," I muttered to myself, heading towards the bathroom. As I brushed my teeth, I looked at myself in the mirror. I wasn't insecure…was I? No. I was perfectly secure with who I was! In fact, if Charlie wanted to tell everyone in the whole fucking universe about us, he could. Yeah. Adam Banks: gay and with Charlie Conway. What was so wrong about that? 'What would your father say?' a little voice in my head echoed. I slammed the toothbrush down and rinsed out quickly. What was with this? Was it 'Everybody haunt Adam about his fears' day? I rushed out of the bathroom to get dressed. No. I wasn't insecure. I pulled on a pair of khakis. Of course I wasn't insecure. I was perfectly fine with the way I was. I pulled on a button shirt over a white t-shirt. I wasn't afraid of what everyone else thought of me. If they thought it was wrong, then I didn't have to be friends with them, right? Right. Quickly splattering gel into my hair, I left the room to grab some breakfast and figure out the plans for the day.
I heard voices of the Ducks in the hallway and rolled my eyes. How was it that whenever my friends didn't need to get up for practice or school or something like that, they always got up early? I was forced to literally drag Portman out of bed on a daily basis back at Eden Hall. On the one day that he could sleep late, he decided he wanted to get up early. There went all my effort wasted. I smiled to myself at that thought and walked into the living room.
"Well look who rose from the dead!" Kori giggled, jumping up from her seat on the couch and practically smothering me with a hug.
I laughed, "It's nice to see you too."
"I know," she smiled and said in my ear, "Charlie's in the kitchen eating if you're wondering because I know you are."
I shrugged, "What can I say?" With that, I headed to the kitchen, leaving my other friends to…whatever it was they were doing. I was going to tell Charlie that I was okay with it. We could tell the Ducks and Coach Bombay and our families…well, his family at the very least, that we were dating. Because I was not insecure. Not Adam Banks. No way. I walked into the kitchen with a broad smile on my face.
"Hey Charlie," I started, looking up. Damon. What was he…doing here? My heart rate increased steadily and I knew if I didn't get out of there soon, I would start hyperventilating. What was he doing eating breakfast with Charlie? They were eating cereal. Fruity Pebbles. Charlie's favorite. They were laughing.
"Good morning, sleeping beauty!" he smiled with a hint of teasing in his voice. Damon smiled at me and said something along the lines of 'hey' and he wore that annoying smirk. I wanted to smack him. But I didn't.
"I, um, just remembered I forgot something. Bye." I said this quickly and raced out of the room and out the door, past curious eyes, feeling my throat tightening again. I tried to calm myself down. They were just eating cereal together. He probably ate breakfast with Shane almost every morning anyway. It wasn't like they were actually kissing or some shit like that. No. Not at all.
"Okay I give up," I muttered to myself, "I'm the most insecure person I know." I'd known that all along. The real question was: What the fuck was I supposed to do about it?
Thanks for the reviews!!
Kate: Oh, of course not! I wouldn't abandon this fic…ever! Thanks for reading!
Kellyerielf: Oh, don't worry about it. I haven't been around the fandom much lately anyway. Thank you for loving it and reading it and being so cool. Yes I know, Damon's a bastard. But it all plays into this story well, I promise.
Atalanta's apples: Haha! Thanks for reading both of them! Yeah reading fanfics is the ideal procrastination method for me too. I was actually thinking of making Charlie jealous because then I would've made him all violent and cause more drama and shit like that, but I got this idea for something else later. J
Conway's-babe-4-life: Joshua Jackson's a hottie, yes I agree.
Moonlight Phoenix1: Haha yeah Jesse was a prick in Realization, but you'll like him. For a bit at least. You'll meet Damon in the next chapter.
Sphinx the Minx: No, it's not bad that you're happy about Banks pain because I get happy about Banks pain too. I think it's just the angst appeal or something.
Vinnies-Angel: Um…well…I tried to update sooner, I really did. But the whole high school thing with my parents on my back constantly and a hell of a writer's block kind of got in the way. Sorry!
StormShadow21 (Chelsea): Thanks so much for your always appreciated reviews!! I'm sorry I haven't updated in like…forever. I'll try harder this time! J
Meme: Thanks so much for helping this chapter along otherwise it wouldn't be out until who knows when. You rock!
Beloved: Awww thanks for loving it J
Please review!!
