So lately, been wondering
Who will be there to take my place
When I'm gone, you'll need love
To light the shadows on your face
If the great wave shall fall
It'd fall upon us all
And between the sand and stone
Could you make it on your own
[chorus:]
If I could, then I would
I'll go wherever you will go
Way up high or down low
I'll go wherever you will go
And maybe, I'll find out
The way to make it back someday
To watch you, to guide you
Through the darkest of your days If the great wave shall fall
It'd fall upon us all
Well I hope there's someone out there
Who can bring me back to you
[chorus]
Runaway with my heart
Runaway with my hope
Runaway with my love
I know now, just quite how
My life and love might still go on
In your heart and your mind
I'll stay with you for all of time
[chorus]
If I could turn back time
I'll go wherever you will go
If I could make you mine
I'll go wherever you will go
-Wherever You Will Go, The Calling
*
Gandalf lowered the shivering body from the horse, when it was too dark to travel. The moment it would be light enough to travel, he planned on riding again, thus being in Lothlorien no later than tomorrow night. If Estel could last that long.
He wrapped the boy in his blanket as well as Estel's, doing all he could to keep the child warm. He went to refill their water flasks from the Anduin and set a small fire. He placed the back of his hand on Estel's forehead, who in return groaned and turned over. Gandalf frowned in concern. It has been a week since the boy fell from the horse, sick and all his attempts at bringing his fever down had failed. The only thing he could do at the time was tend to the injuries obtained from the fall, and try and keep the child warm. Estel came in and out of consciousness, and Gandalf was lucky if he managed to pour some water down his throat in the few times he seemed slightly aware. Food was out of the question, and Gandalf was worried Estel would not last long. They MUST reach Lorien as soon as possible.
"G-Gandalf?" Came the slurred shivering voice. Gandalf stirred out of his dark thoughts and smiled at the child.
"I am here, child."
"I'm cold." Estel moaned, his eyes hazy and his head pounding.
"I know," Gandalf sighed, as he lifted the boy and drew him closer to himself in order to share his body heat. He moved as close to the fire as he could safely, and picked up some fruit. "Try to eat this." He said gently, as he placed the food in Estel's dry mouth. Estel chewed the fruit for a long moment, before swallowing.
"Good," Gandalf said smiling genuinely, a bit prematurely. Estel immediately turned to the side and vomited. "It's all right tithen nin," Gandalf assured him. [Little one]
Estel grimaced. "Ada used to call me that when I was little." Gandalf's heart convulsed, thinking that Estel was STILL little, much too young to die. "Now he doesn't call me that anymore- only when I'm sick." Estel closed his eyes as the world spun around him. "Am I sick, Gandalf?"
"Yes, you are," Gandalf answered truthfully.
"I feel icky," Estel complained, not finding the strength to move.
"We'll arrive in Lothlorien tomorrow, where there are healers who will make you better," Gandalf assured him, while he rubbed the small arms, trying to keep Estel warm. He prayed to the Valar that the healers will know what ails the child.
"Lady Galadriel lives in Lorien," Estel whispered, as he leaned his head on Gandalf's chest.
"Yes, she does." Gandalf tried to keep his tone light and warm, for the child's sake.
"Tell me of her," Estel pleaded quietly, his voice raw and dry. Gandalf managed to get a few sips of water down his throat and he put the flask down for later.
"What would you like to know?" Gandalf asked, petting the child's hair affectionately.
"Everything," Estel said stubbornly. "Is she nice? Elladan and Elrohir tell me of her seldom, but she is their kin, I want to know what is she really like. Is she pretty? All elves are pretty, even though some are ugly inside... Is she pretty inside?"
"What makes you say that there are ugly elves- inside?" Gandalf wondered curiously.
"Don't tell Adar," Estel begged. Gandalf gazed down at him long and hard, before nodding his head.
"I won't, you have my word."
"Some of the elves are mean to me," Estel said in hushed tones, his voice barely above a whisper.
"Mean to you? How so?" Gandalf asked evenly, though deep down he felt his blood boil.
Estel fidgeted in Gandalf's lap. "They call me names and make fun of me, because I'm Edain."
"Does this occur often?" Gandalf asked. "And why would you not want Lord Elrond to know?"
"Because he'd get angry," Estel said sadly. "He doesn't like it when I get into fights with other elves. I think he gets mad that I cause him so much trouble- if he knew that other elves hated me, he might..." Estel went silent as a few tears passed his weak barriers and slid down his face. He wiped at them weakly and tried to reach for the flask of water. Gandalf saw and brought the flask to his lips.
'Did the child think Elrond would cast him out, because he was an inconvenience?' Gandalf mused silently. 'Because narrow-minded elves hated him for no reason other than him being a mortal? Did he think he was at fault for their hatred?'
"Those elves are at fault for their misguided anger, not you," Gandalf said softly. "If anyone could hate you, once they got to know you, simply because you are a mortal man, then they are not worth getting upset about."
Estel said nothing, not quite knowing how to digest what was said through the fog in his mind. It was like swimming in soup, only not as tasteful. "Is she pretty on the inside?" He merely asked again, suddenly afraid of going there and intruding into his family's OTHER FAMILY, the one he did not belong with.
"Yes, she is." Gandalf said. "Radiant, even. Her light shines so brightly, few can meet her gaze and all are drawn to it." He seemed to be remembering something and he softly sang:
"In Dwimordene, in Lorien Seldom have walked the feet of Men, Few mortal eyes have seen the light That lies there ever, long and bright. Galadriel! Galadriel! Clear is the water of you well; White is the star in your white hand; Unmarred, unstained is leaf and land In Dwimordene, in Lorien More fair than thoughts of Mortal Men."
Estel listen as the song washed over him and soothed his aching mind. "She sounds beautiful." He said, with a slight bitter edge to his tone. "Too beautiful for the eyes and thought of Mortal Men."
"I fear you will never be simply a "Mortal Man", nor will you be an elf," Gandalf whispered silently, stroking the boy's face. "'Few mortal eyes have seen the light' and you shall be one of those- you are very special indeed."
"What if she does not want me to see her light?" Estel asked worried, as words became less clear and he felt himself drawn to sleep.
"You are her son in law's son," Gandalf said grinning. "You are family."
Estel did not nor could he argue, at the state he was in. "I know songs too," he said sleepily.
"I am sure you know many songs," Gandalf smiled, knowing Elrond probably taught him many songs during his lessons.
"Do you want to hear it?" Estel asked eagerly, through shut eyelids, with a smile playing on his lips.
"Of course."
"Sing hey! for the bath at close of day That washes the weary mud away! A loon is he that will not sing: O! Water Hot is a noble thing!
O! Sweet is the sound of falling rain, and the brook that leaps from hill to plain..." [Estel tried to think of the rest. How did it go...] but better than rain or rippling streams is Water Hot that smokes and streams."
Estel racked his brains for the rest, but couldn't remember another line. "I forgot the rest, there were two more verses..."
"Did your mother teach you that song?" Gandalf asked surprised. It simply was not possible Elrond would have taught THAT particular song to him.
"No- Rabbit Feet did!" Estel exclaimed, smiling tiredly. "Perhaps if my mother were to teach me that song when I was younger, I wouldn't have had a problem taking a bath." A sudden thought made him chuckle. "Do you think Ada will sing me the bath song?"
Gandalf tried not to picture the esteem Lord Elrond singing a silly bath song, with his stern expression. However, he failed miserably and ended up laughing so hard it hurt. Gandalf cradled him close to his chest until the worst of it was over and all that was left was the occasional dry coughs.
"Am I going to die?" Estel asked suddenly, his voice croaking and dry.
"What a silly question," Gandalf bristled. "We ALL die eventually."
"You know exactly what I mean," Estel remarked knowingly. He did not seem upset or angered at such a notion, but somewhat resigned.
"And you are too clever for your own good," Gandalf sighed, feeling suddenly ages older. He finally understood what Elrond meant when he said the child caused him to age with concern. Elrond... What would he tell the father? He promised him he would look after Estel and keep him safe....
"Gandalf?" Estel asked worriedly, when the Wizard did not answer.
No, Estel," Gandalf said sternly, squeezing his shoulders tightly. "You are NOT going to die from this illness."
"If I... Who will look after my mother?" Estel asked. "I'm not sure if she has anyone other than me, will she still live in Imladris?"
"She will not need anyone to look after her, because you are NOT dying," Gandalf said, slightly irritated, his voice rising with conviction. "I promised Lord Elrond I would not let any harm come to you- and that is a promise I intend to keep." Estel seemed content with that answer as he made himself more comfortable on Gandalf's lap. "What are the last two verses," he asked, thinking hard. "It had something to do with the water... Cold water... Hot water.... Beer... Leaping water.... Splashing Hot Water with my feet..."
"There is no need to get yourself worked up about it," Gandalf said with a faint smile. He glanced up at the sky. "You should get some sleep, we will be leaving soon."
"But I want to be able to sing it to Rabbit Feet when he comes to visit," Estel complained.
"You shouldn't call him that," Gandalf admonished, though he was smiling. "He HAS a name and that is Bilbo Baggins."
"Every man gathers many names during his life", Estel grinned tiredly. "At least that is what I'm told."
"You are a PAIN," Gandalf laughed silently.
"And beside, EVERYONE else calls him "Bilbo Baggins", so it's not unique to call him that. However, I am the ONLY ONE who calls him Rabbit Feet." Estel smiled, as his eyes closed and he drifted off to sleep. "He'll remember me that way...." Soon his breathing became even and shallow and Gandalf stared at the sky.
"You're not that easy to forget," he whispered to the sleeping bundle. "And you have managed to burrow a place into an old Wizard's heart."
*
Gandalf sighed a sigh of relief as he finally reached Lothlorien, and not a minute too soon. He slowed the horse's pace and cringed inside, when he saw whom his welcoming comity was. Oh Valar, this was not going to be easy...
"Well don't look TOO happy to see us!" Elladan chuckled.
"What are you two doing here?" Gandalf asked, his hold on the bundle that was Estel, tightening.
"We're here to help drive Sauron back," Elrohir said proudly.
"Once it is decided, I assume?" Gandalf couldn't help a grin.
"Of course," both twins grinned identical grins.
"We'll take the horse off your hands now," Elrohir suggested, when Gandalf seemed glued to his spot. "We'll take it to the stables, the Council is waiting just for you, they're over there," he pointed in the direction.
"And don't worry about Estel, we've spoken with Grandmother and she says she'd be delighted to have him..." Elladan frowned. "Where IS Estel?"
Gandalf slowly got off his horse and placed the bundle in Elladan's surprised arms. "He is very ill and MUST see a healer at once." He urged. Elladan nodded, before disappearing quickly, gently carrying the bundle in his arms.
"What is wrong with him?" Elrohir asked frightened.
"I wish I knew," Gandalf admitted. "One minute he was fine, the next..." He shrugged.
"You have to go now, Mithrandir," Elrohir said quietly. He whispered a few words in the horse's ear, and started to steer it in the direction of the stables. Gandalf stood there for a moment, watching Elrohir's retreating back, before he quickly walked to where the Council was.
*
"What is wrong with our brother?" Elladan asked the healer impatiently, as he checked Estel.
"He has a fever, that much is obvious," the healer muttered, as he continued his examination. "He must have fallen from a small height, according to these bruises... Perhaps a low branch, he probably fell through branches and shrubbery... Do you see these scratches?"
"We see them," Elrohir said slowly, trying to calm himself down. "But that does not explain why he is so ill."
"The scratches seem to be around a week old," the healer went on. "But they are red and swollen, I think it got infected- and that would explain why he is so ill."
"Can you treat it?" Elladan asked, relieved they found the cause of the illness.
"I don't think it will be a problem," the healer nodded. "But we should first deal with his fever and stabilize his condition."
"Just tell us what needs to be done," Elladan said quickly, eager to do something. "We have experience as healers, even though we are not as experienced as you are."
"Alright, this is what I need you to get..."
*
Estel woke up groggily, his throat feeling like it had shards stuck in it. He slowly looked around and frowned, wondering where he was. Wherever he was, it sure was beautiful. After several attempts he managed to weakly stand up and take a better glance around. The last thing he remembered was a fire... He was talking to Gandalf... Gandalf assured him they were nearly there.... Hot Water? He shook his head and immediately regretted it, as his entire world spun. He leaned heavily on a tree trunk, until the worst of it was over.
He must be in Lorien. Either that or he was dead.
He saw something glint in the distance and he started to make his way across, moving slowly and dizzily. He smiled at his luck when he saw a basin and a phial of water near it. He poured the water into the basin and was about to drink from it, when he jumped back and fell on the ground. He slowly got up- he could not have seen what he saw, he must be hallucinating...
He peered inside again and his eyes widened. He saw an Elf King, dungeons, barrels rolling on the river, a dragon, a jewel...
"The shadow in Mirkwood ever grows deeper," a beautiful voice said. Estel felt drawn to this White Lady, for it seemed she was made purely from radiant light. "And to Dol Guldur evil things repair out of the dark places of the world; and they are united again under one will, and their malice is directed against the Elves and the survivors of the Numenor."
"We have long debated the lore of the Rings," Elrond said gravely. "We have waited and watched long enough, we must drive Sauron from Dol Guldur, before it is too late."
"It is not needed that the Ring should be found, for while it abides on earth and is not unmade, still the power that it holds will live, and Sauron will grow and have hope." Gandalf said, talking as if directly to someone Estel could not see.
The image before him blurred and he shut his eyes, trying to clear the cobwebs. He opened them again.
Gandalf continued. "The might of the Elves and the Elf-friends is less now than of old. Soon he will be too strong for you, even without the Great Ring; for he rules the Nine, and of the Seven he has recovered three. We must strike."
'What is Gandalf talking about?' Estel wondered, feeling suddenly flustered. He wiped sweat from his forehead and leaned in more, not caring anymore that this was simply a hallucination. 'Or perhaps it is one of my dreams?'
All members of this council turned their heads in the direction Gandalf kept looking at. Estel gasped, as he saw an old looking man with a long white beard and a crooked nose. What made him gasp, however, was the dark eyes, now focused straight at him. Estel felt as if those eyes were tearing through him and he struggled against the hold of those eyes.
"I consent," the man said nodding. "We must attack Dol Guldur at once."
Estel broke free of the gaze and fell back, lying sprawled on the ground.
*
"And not a moment too soon," Elrond muttered in Gandalf's ear, as the Council dispersed in order to prepare for departure.
"Elrond," Gandalf said hesitantly. "About Estel-"
"I've spoken with Galadriel," Elrond said, walking hurriedly. "Estel is welcomed to stay as long as he wants."
"That is not-"
"You probably think I should not punish him for this little 'adventure' of his," Elrond sighed. "Honestly Mithrandir, I am at my wits' end with the child. You know I loathe to apply physical punishment, but he simply-"
"Estel is sick!" Gandalf said suddenly, startling a few elves.
"What?" Elrond asked concerned. "What happened? Where is he?"
"I do not know what happened," Gandalf said in a bitter tone. "As for his whereabouts, you will have to ask your sons..." They both heard soft running footsteps.
"Adar!"
Elrond turned with raised eyebrows to address his panting son. "What is it, Elrohir?"
"It's Estel- he fell ill. Again."
"Lead me to him," Elrond said, as the three made their way in the forest.
"Thank the Valar you are here!" Elladan said, when he saw them coming. "I went for just a moment to get some herbs and when I returned I found him lying next to Grandmother's Mirror, worse than he was before."
"I don't understand it," the healer bristled. "He was on the mend..."
"Let me have a look at him," Elrond said, kneeling next to his son.
"Of course, Lord Elrond," the healer said, taking a step back.
"Elrond," Galadriel walked over. "We must leave at once."
"I know," Elrond said aguishly. "But this is my son!"
"I will say you had some final preparations to attend to," Galadriel said, eyeing the child sadly. "Mithrandir?" Gandalf nodded and followed Galadriel. Before she was out of earshot, she turned around and said with difficulty. "Elrond...You cannot linger too long."
Elrond continued to study Estel's injuries. He sat there for quite some time, running through known symptoms of illnesses, but he came up blank. Everything seemed to point to an infection, but with the treatment the healer gave him, Estel should have started to improve. Instead he seemed to worsen.
"Elrond, it is time." Gandalf said quietly. "We have delayed our departure too long."
"I promised his mother no harm will come to him. How can I leave him like this?" Elrond asked numbly. "How can I leave my youngest sick and alone- what if he..." He swallowed and turned to Gandalf, the look in his eyes reflecting the torment inside. "How can I leave him alone to die?"
Gandalf had no answer and so he remained silent. The twins stood nearby, watching quietly over their younger brother.
"We have to leave," Elrohir said at last. "If we do not drive Sauron back..."
"Why did this have to happen to you?" Elrond asked Estel gently, smiling morosely at the still form. "You seem to always be accident-prone and unable to stay out of trees..."
"Trees?" Gandalf asked, perplexed.
"He fell out of a tree, did he not?" Elrond asked. "That is what the healer told me."
"Nay, he fell off the horse," Gandalf said, stepping forward.
"Then where did he receive these scratches?" Elrond asked, indicating the angry scratches on Estel's arms and abdominal.
"A few days before," Gandalf said, trying to remember. "On the Old Forest Road- I think he managed to get himself tangled in some bushes."
"When did you first notice he was ill?" Elrond asked, suddenly aroused. The twins frowned but remained quiet.
"He only fell from the horse once we reached the Anduin," Gandalf said, thinking. "But he has been tired and thirsty for several days prior. I simply assumed the journey was proving too taxing."
"The Old Forest Road..." Elrond muttered, going through his medicine.
"What is it?" Elladan asked, when he could not stand it any longer.
"There are several poisonous bushes and plants there," Elrond said, as he quickly set out to work. "The poison must have been in small quantity, otherwise he would be dead by now. But we must draw it out quickly." He gave instructions to the twins and called for the healer.
"I know what ails him." He said hurriedly, as he explained his theory. "The medicine you gave him for the inflammation may have hastened the poison."
The healer started, before replying. "I did not... How could I have been so wrong?"
"It is a common mistake," Elrond reassured him. "I would have come to the same conclusion as you, had Gandalf not told me the scratches were not from the fall."
As the four of them set out to work, Gandalf sent word to bring their horses here, and that they would leave momentarily. He returned to the four healers and helped as he could.
"I am glad I brought my medicines with me." Elrond said tiredly. "I doubt they would keep this specific root here in Lorien, it is very rare and barely used." They finished their initial treatment and Elrond instructed the healer PRECISELY what needs to be done.
"Now we really must leave," Gandalf said quietly. "Though my heart now leaves lighter."
"The medicine works, that is to be sure," Elrond said gravely, as they all mounted their horses. "But he received the medicine with quite a delay..." He glanced at the twins before setting out. "I just hope it isn't too late."
*END PART 12*
Author's note: Hey! Took me a while, but I'm back with some Estel angst! Throw in some Elrond angst and there's plenty more angst to go around! But worry not, the end is near and some cuddling family moments, Gandalf confronting Elrond regarding Estel's doubts, and Estel meeting Legolas for the first time! I think I might write it in two shortish chapters.
Gandalf's song is from "The Two Towers" and Bilbo's Bath song is from "The Fellowship of the Ring". Some of the things said in the White Council were from "The Silmarillion" and unfortunately they don't delve much into the White Council.
Does anyone know why fanfiction.net does not let me show Itallic or Bold?
leggylover03- Poor Estel, he really has so many doubts about people loving him... Yup, lots of angst, but it'll get warmer soon! Update sooner? What exactly does THAT mean? LOL, sooner than what? Don't worry, I plan to wrap this all up soon, and I have a bit of vacation coming up in a week...
Mysterious Jedi- I'm going and not stopping till I finish this.
grumpy- You are absolutely my favorite reviewer. *grins* Poor Elrond, having to deal with a three year old Estel... I'm glad the questions and answers worked, that was one of my biggest fears in the chapter. Oh and thank Galahan for the location, always nice to have someone who can help you with maps AND you can blame later if it doesn't work! ;)
HobbitsRFun- I really feel for Estel and his insecurities, and don't worry, I plan to deal with the issue of him and Elrond! Not much of a big reunion, considering Estel was unconscious, but don't worry, it will come next chapter!
Galahan- Yes, I think you're rubbing off on me, if I'm lucky! I need to work on my sense of humor! I'm so glad you approve of Gandalf, I tried to make him amusing and as you said- right. Writing characters of others is always difficult, especially one like Gandalf! Stern, quirky, funny and in a way intimidating! Estel holding his breath until he turned blue.... What WAS he thinking? LOL.
Ivy
When I'm gone, you'll need love
To light the shadows on your face
If the great wave shall fall
It'd fall upon us all
And between the sand and stone
Could you make it on your own
[chorus:]
If I could, then I would
I'll go wherever you will go
Way up high or down low
I'll go wherever you will go
And maybe, I'll find out
The way to make it back someday
To watch you, to guide you
Through the darkest of your days If the great wave shall fall
It'd fall upon us all
Well I hope there's someone out there
Who can bring me back to you
[chorus]
Runaway with my heart
Runaway with my hope
Runaway with my love
I know now, just quite how
My life and love might still go on
In your heart and your mind
I'll stay with you for all of time
[chorus]
If I could turn back time
I'll go wherever you will go
If I could make you mine
I'll go wherever you will go
-Wherever You Will Go, The Calling
*
Gandalf lowered the shivering body from the horse, when it was too dark to travel. The moment it would be light enough to travel, he planned on riding again, thus being in Lothlorien no later than tomorrow night. If Estel could last that long.
He wrapped the boy in his blanket as well as Estel's, doing all he could to keep the child warm. He went to refill their water flasks from the Anduin and set a small fire. He placed the back of his hand on Estel's forehead, who in return groaned and turned over. Gandalf frowned in concern. It has been a week since the boy fell from the horse, sick and all his attempts at bringing his fever down had failed. The only thing he could do at the time was tend to the injuries obtained from the fall, and try and keep the child warm. Estel came in and out of consciousness, and Gandalf was lucky if he managed to pour some water down his throat in the few times he seemed slightly aware. Food was out of the question, and Gandalf was worried Estel would not last long. They MUST reach Lorien as soon as possible.
"G-Gandalf?" Came the slurred shivering voice. Gandalf stirred out of his dark thoughts and smiled at the child.
"I am here, child."
"I'm cold." Estel moaned, his eyes hazy and his head pounding.
"I know," Gandalf sighed, as he lifted the boy and drew him closer to himself in order to share his body heat. He moved as close to the fire as he could safely, and picked up some fruit. "Try to eat this." He said gently, as he placed the food in Estel's dry mouth. Estel chewed the fruit for a long moment, before swallowing.
"Good," Gandalf said smiling genuinely, a bit prematurely. Estel immediately turned to the side and vomited. "It's all right tithen nin," Gandalf assured him. [Little one]
Estel grimaced. "Ada used to call me that when I was little." Gandalf's heart convulsed, thinking that Estel was STILL little, much too young to die. "Now he doesn't call me that anymore- only when I'm sick." Estel closed his eyes as the world spun around him. "Am I sick, Gandalf?"
"Yes, you are," Gandalf answered truthfully.
"I feel icky," Estel complained, not finding the strength to move.
"We'll arrive in Lothlorien tomorrow, where there are healers who will make you better," Gandalf assured him, while he rubbed the small arms, trying to keep Estel warm. He prayed to the Valar that the healers will know what ails the child.
"Lady Galadriel lives in Lorien," Estel whispered, as he leaned his head on Gandalf's chest.
"Yes, she does." Gandalf tried to keep his tone light and warm, for the child's sake.
"Tell me of her," Estel pleaded quietly, his voice raw and dry. Gandalf managed to get a few sips of water down his throat and he put the flask down for later.
"What would you like to know?" Gandalf asked, petting the child's hair affectionately.
"Everything," Estel said stubbornly. "Is she nice? Elladan and Elrohir tell me of her seldom, but she is their kin, I want to know what is she really like. Is she pretty? All elves are pretty, even though some are ugly inside... Is she pretty inside?"
"What makes you say that there are ugly elves- inside?" Gandalf wondered curiously.
"Don't tell Adar," Estel begged. Gandalf gazed down at him long and hard, before nodding his head.
"I won't, you have my word."
"Some of the elves are mean to me," Estel said in hushed tones, his voice barely above a whisper.
"Mean to you? How so?" Gandalf asked evenly, though deep down he felt his blood boil.
Estel fidgeted in Gandalf's lap. "They call me names and make fun of me, because I'm Edain."
"Does this occur often?" Gandalf asked. "And why would you not want Lord Elrond to know?"
"Because he'd get angry," Estel said sadly. "He doesn't like it when I get into fights with other elves. I think he gets mad that I cause him so much trouble- if he knew that other elves hated me, he might..." Estel went silent as a few tears passed his weak barriers and slid down his face. He wiped at them weakly and tried to reach for the flask of water. Gandalf saw and brought the flask to his lips.
'Did the child think Elrond would cast him out, because he was an inconvenience?' Gandalf mused silently. 'Because narrow-minded elves hated him for no reason other than him being a mortal? Did he think he was at fault for their hatred?'
"Those elves are at fault for their misguided anger, not you," Gandalf said softly. "If anyone could hate you, once they got to know you, simply because you are a mortal man, then they are not worth getting upset about."
Estel said nothing, not quite knowing how to digest what was said through the fog in his mind. It was like swimming in soup, only not as tasteful. "Is she pretty on the inside?" He merely asked again, suddenly afraid of going there and intruding into his family's OTHER FAMILY, the one he did not belong with.
"Yes, she is." Gandalf said. "Radiant, even. Her light shines so brightly, few can meet her gaze and all are drawn to it." He seemed to be remembering something and he softly sang:
"In Dwimordene, in Lorien Seldom have walked the feet of Men, Few mortal eyes have seen the light That lies there ever, long and bright. Galadriel! Galadriel! Clear is the water of you well; White is the star in your white hand; Unmarred, unstained is leaf and land In Dwimordene, in Lorien More fair than thoughts of Mortal Men."
Estel listen as the song washed over him and soothed his aching mind. "She sounds beautiful." He said, with a slight bitter edge to his tone. "Too beautiful for the eyes and thought of Mortal Men."
"I fear you will never be simply a "Mortal Man", nor will you be an elf," Gandalf whispered silently, stroking the boy's face. "'Few mortal eyes have seen the light' and you shall be one of those- you are very special indeed."
"What if she does not want me to see her light?" Estel asked worried, as words became less clear and he felt himself drawn to sleep.
"You are her son in law's son," Gandalf said grinning. "You are family."
Estel did not nor could he argue, at the state he was in. "I know songs too," he said sleepily.
"I am sure you know many songs," Gandalf smiled, knowing Elrond probably taught him many songs during his lessons.
"Do you want to hear it?" Estel asked eagerly, through shut eyelids, with a smile playing on his lips.
"Of course."
"Sing hey! for the bath at close of day That washes the weary mud away! A loon is he that will not sing: O! Water Hot is a noble thing!
O! Sweet is the sound of falling rain, and the brook that leaps from hill to plain..." [Estel tried to think of the rest. How did it go...] but better than rain or rippling streams is Water Hot that smokes and streams."
Estel racked his brains for the rest, but couldn't remember another line. "I forgot the rest, there were two more verses..."
"Did your mother teach you that song?" Gandalf asked surprised. It simply was not possible Elrond would have taught THAT particular song to him.
"No- Rabbit Feet did!" Estel exclaimed, smiling tiredly. "Perhaps if my mother were to teach me that song when I was younger, I wouldn't have had a problem taking a bath." A sudden thought made him chuckle. "Do you think Ada will sing me the bath song?"
Gandalf tried not to picture the esteem Lord Elrond singing a silly bath song, with his stern expression. However, he failed miserably and ended up laughing so hard it hurt. Gandalf cradled him close to his chest until the worst of it was over and all that was left was the occasional dry coughs.
"Am I going to die?" Estel asked suddenly, his voice croaking and dry.
"What a silly question," Gandalf bristled. "We ALL die eventually."
"You know exactly what I mean," Estel remarked knowingly. He did not seem upset or angered at such a notion, but somewhat resigned.
"And you are too clever for your own good," Gandalf sighed, feeling suddenly ages older. He finally understood what Elrond meant when he said the child caused him to age with concern. Elrond... What would he tell the father? He promised him he would look after Estel and keep him safe....
"Gandalf?" Estel asked worriedly, when the Wizard did not answer.
No, Estel," Gandalf said sternly, squeezing his shoulders tightly. "You are NOT going to die from this illness."
"If I... Who will look after my mother?" Estel asked. "I'm not sure if she has anyone other than me, will she still live in Imladris?"
"She will not need anyone to look after her, because you are NOT dying," Gandalf said, slightly irritated, his voice rising with conviction. "I promised Lord Elrond I would not let any harm come to you- and that is a promise I intend to keep." Estel seemed content with that answer as he made himself more comfortable on Gandalf's lap. "What are the last two verses," he asked, thinking hard. "It had something to do with the water... Cold water... Hot water.... Beer... Leaping water.... Splashing Hot Water with my feet..."
"There is no need to get yourself worked up about it," Gandalf said with a faint smile. He glanced up at the sky. "You should get some sleep, we will be leaving soon."
"But I want to be able to sing it to Rabbit Feet when he comes to visit," Estel complained.
"You shouldn't call him that," Gandalf admonished, though he was smiling. "He HAS a name and that is Bilbo Baggins."
"Every man gathers many names during his life", Estel grinned tiredly. "At least that is what I'm told."
"You are a PAIN," Gandalf laughed silently.
"And beside, EVERYONE else calls him "Bilbo Baggins", so it's not unique to call him that. However, I am the ONLY ONE who calls him Rabbit Feet." Estel smiled, as his eyes closed and he drifted off to sleep. "He'll remember me that way...." Soon his breathing became even and shallow and Gandalf stared at the sky.
"You're not that easy to forget," he whispered to the sleeping bundle. "And you have managed to burrow a place into an old Wizard's heart."
*
Gandalf sighed a sigh of relief as he finally reached Lothlorien, and not a minute too soon. He slowed the horse's pace and cringed inside, when he saw whom his welcoming comity was. Oh Valar, this was not going to be easy...
"Well don't look TOO happy to see us!" Elladan chuckled.
"What are you two doing here?" Gandalf asked, his hold on the bundle that was Estel, tightening.
"We're here to help drive Sauron back," Elrohir said proudly.
"Once it is decided, I assume?" Gandalf couldn't help a grin.
"Of course," both twins grinned identical grins.
"We'll take the horse off your hands now," Elrohir suggested, when Gandalf seemed glued to his spot. "We'll take it to the stables, the Council is waiting just for you, they're over there," he pointed in the direction.
"And don't worry about Estel, we've spoken with Grandmother and she says she'd be delighted to have him..." Elladan frowned. "Where IS Estel?"
Gandalf slowly got off his horse and placed the bundle in Elladan's surprised arms. "He is very ill and MUST see a healer at once." He urged. Elladan nodded, before disappearing quickly, gently carrying the bundle in his arms.
"What is wrong with him?" Elrohir asked frightened.
"I wish I knew," Gandalf admitted. "One minute he was fine, the next..." He shrugged.
"You have to go now, Mithrandir," Elrohir said quietly. He whispered a few words in the horse's ear, and started to steer it in the direction of the stables. Gandalf stood there for a moment, watching Elrohir's retreating back, before he quickly walked to where the Council was.
*
"What is wrong with our brother?" Elladan asked the healer impatiently, as he checked Estel.
"He has a fever, that much is obvious," the healer muttered, as he continued his examination. "He must have fallen from a small height, according to these bruises... Perhaps a low branch, he probably fell through branches and shrubbery... Do you see these scratches?"
"We see them," Elrohir said slowly, trying to calm himself down. "But that does not explain why he is so ill."
"The scratches seem to be around a week old," the healer went on. "But they are red and swollen, I think it got infected- and that would explain why he is so ill."
"Can you treat it?" Elladan asked, relieved they found the cause of the illness.
"I don't think it will be a problem," the healer nodded. "But we should first deal with his fever and stabilize his condition."
"Just tell us what needs to be done," Elladan said quickly, eager to do something. "We have experience as healers, even though we are not as experienced as you are."
"Alright, this is what I need you to get..."
*
Estel woke up groggily, his throat feeling like it had shards stuck in it. He slowly looked around and frowned, wondering where he was. Wherever he was, it sure was beautiful. After several attempts he managed to weakly stand up and take a better glance around. The last thing he remembered was a fire... He was talking to Gandalf... Gandalf assured him they were nearly there.... Hot Water? He shook his head and immediately regretted it, as his entire world spun. He leaned heavily on a tree trunk, until the worst of it was over.
He must be in Lorien. Either that or he was dead.
He saw something glint in the distance and he started to make his way across, moving slowly and dizzily. He smiled at his luck when he saw a basin and a phial of water near it. He poured the water into the basin and was about to drink from it, when he jumped back and fell on the ground. He slowly got up- he could not have seen what he saw, he must be hallucinating...
He peered inside again and his eyes widened. He saw an Elf King, dungeons, barrels rolling on the river, a dragon, a jewel...
"The shadow in Mirkwood ever grows deeper," a beautiful voice said. Estel felt drawn to this White Lady, for it seemed she was made purely from radiant light. "And to Dol Guldur evil things repair out of the dark places of the world; and they are united again under one will, and their malice is directed against the Elves and the survivors of the Numenor."
"We have long debated the lore of the Rings," Elrond said gravely. "We have waited and watched long enough, we must drive Sauron from Dol Guldur, before it is too late."
"It is not needed that the Ring should be found, for while it abides on earth and is not unmade, still the power that it holds will live, and Sauron will grow and have hope." Gandalf said, talking as if directly to someone Estel could not see.
The image before him blurred and he shut his eyes, trying to clear the cobwebs. He opened them again.
Gandalf continued. "The might of the Elves and the Elf-friends is less now than of old. Soon he will be too strong for you, even without the Great Ring; for he rules the Nine, and of the Seven he has recovered three. We must strike."
'What is Gandalf talking about?' Estel wondered, feeling suddenly flustered. He wiped sweat from his forehead and leaned in more, not caring anymore that this was simply a hallucination. 'Or perhaps it is one of my dreams?'
All members of this council turned their heads in the direction Gandalf kept looking at. Estel gasped, as he saw an old looking man with a long white beard and a crooked nose. What made him gasp, however, was the dark eyes, now focused straight at him. Estel felt as if those eyes were tearing through him and he struggled against the hold of those eyes.
"I consent," the man said nodding. "We must attack Dol Guldur at once."
Estel broke free of the gaze and fell back, lying sprawled on the ground.
*
"And not a moment too soon," Elrond muttered in Gandalf's ear, as the Council dispersed in order to prepare for departure.
"Elrond," Gandalf said hesitantly. "About Estel-"
"I've spoken with Galadriel," Elrond said, walking hurriedly. "Estel is welcomed to stay as long as he wants."
"That is not-"
"You probably think I should not punish him for this little 'adventure' of his," Elrond sighed. "Honestly Mithrandir, I am at my wits' end with the child. You know I loathe to apply physical punishment, but he simply-"
"Estel is sick!" Gandalf said suddenly, startling a few elves.
"What?" Elrond asked concerned. "What happened? Where is he?"
"I do not know what happened," Gandalf said in a bitter tone. "As for his whereabouts, you will have to ask your sons..." They both heard soft running footsteps.
"Adar!"
Elrond turned with raised eyebrows to address his panting son. "What is it, Elrohir?"
"It's Estel- he fell ill. Again."
"Lead me to him," Elrond said, as the three made their way in the forest.
"Thank the Valar you are here!" Elladan said, when he saw them coming. "I went for just a moment to get some herbs and when I returned I found him lying next to Grandmother's Mirror, worse than he was before."
"I don't understand it," the healer bristled. "He was on the mend..."
"Let me have a look at him," Elrond said, kneeling next to his son.
"Of course, Lord Elrond," the healer said, taking a step back.
"Elrond," Galadriel walked over. "We must leave at once."
"I know," Elrond said aguishly. "But this is my son!"
"I will say you had some final preparations to attend to," Galadriel said, eyeing the child sadly. "Mithrandir?" Gandalf nodded and followed Galadriel. Before she was out of earshot, she turned around and said with difficulty. "Elrond...You cannot linger too long."
Elrond continued to study Estel's injuries. He sat there for quite some time, running through known symptoms of illnesses, but he came up blank. Everything seemed to point to an infection, but with the treatment the healer gave him, Estel should have started to improve. Instead he seemed to worsen.
"Elrond, it is time." Gandalf said quietly. "We have delayed our departure too long."
"I promised his mother no harm will come to him. How can I leave him like this?" Elrond asked numbly. "How can I leave my youngest sick and alone- what if he..." He swallowed and turned to Gandalf, the look in his eyes reflecting the torment inside. "How can I leave him alone to die?"
Gandalf had no answer and so he remained silent. The twins stood nearby, watching quietly over their younger brother.
"We have to leave," Elrohir said at last. "If we do not drive Sauron back..."
"Why did this have to happen to you?" Elrond asked Estel gently, smiling morosely at the still form. "You seem to always be accident-prone and unable to stay out of trees..."
"Trees?" Gandalf asked, perplexed.
"He fell out of a tree, did he not?" Elrond asked. "That is what the healer told me."
"Nay, he fell off the horse," Gandalf said, stepping forward.
"Then where did he receive these scratches?" Elrond asked, indicating the angry scratches on Estel's arms and abdominal.
"A few days before," Gandalf said, trying to remember. "On the Old Forest Road- I think he managed to get himself tangled in some bushes."
"When did you first notice he was ill?" Elrond asked, suddenly aroused. The twins frowned but remained quiet.
"He only fell from the horse once we reached the Anduin," Gandalf said, thinking. "But he has been tired and thirsty for several days prior. I simply assumed the journey was proving too taxing."
"The Old Forest Road..." Elrond muttered, going through his medicine.
"What is it?" Elladan asked, when he could not stand it any longer.
"There are several poisonous bushes and plants there," Elrond said, as he quickly set out to work. "The poison must have been in small quantity, otherwise he would be dead by now. But we must draw it out quickly." He gave instructions to the twins and called for the healer.
"I know what ails him." He said hurriedly, as he explained his theory. "The medicine you gave him for the inflammation may have hastened the poison."
The healer started, before replying. "I did not... How could I have been so wrong?"
"It is a common mistake," Elrond reassured him. "I would have come to the same conclusion as you, had Gandalf not told me the scratches were not from the fall."
As the four of them set out to work, Gandalf sent word to bring their horses here, and that they would leave momentarily. He returned to the four healers and helped as he could.
"I am glad I brought my medicines with me." Elrond said tiredly. "I doubt they would keep this specific root here in Lorien, it is very rare and barely used." They finished their initial treatment and Elrond instructed the healer PRECISELY what needs to be done.
"Now we really must leave," Gandalf said quietly. "Though my heart now leaves lighter."
"The medicine works, that is to be sure," Elrond said gravely, as they all mounted their horses. "But he received the medicine with quite a delay..." He glanced at the twins before setting out. "I just hope it isn't too late."
*END PART 12*
Author's note: Hey! Took me a while, but I'm back with some Estel angst! Throw in some Elrond angst and there's plenty more angst to go around! But worry not, the end is near and some cuddling family moments, Gandalf confronting Elrond regarding Estel's doubts, and Estel meeting Legolas for the first time! I think I might write it in two shortish chapters.
Gandalf's song is from "The Two Towers" and Bilbo's Bath song is from "The Fellowship of the Ring". Some of the things said in the White Council were from "The Silmarillion" and unfortunately they don't delve much into the White Council.
Does anyone know why fanfiction.net does not let me show Itallic or Bold?
leggylover03- Poor Estel, he really has so many doubts about people loving him... Yup, lots of angst, but it'll get warmer soon! Update sooner? What exactly does THAT mean? LOL, sooner than what? Don't worry, I plan to wrap this all up soon, and I have a bit of vacation coming up in a week...
Mysterious Jedi- I'm going and not stopping till I finish this.
grumpy- You are absolutely my favorite reviewer. *grins* Poor Elrond, having to deal with a three year old Estel... I'm glad the questions and answers worked, that was one of my biggest fears in the chapter. Oh and thank Galahan for the location, always nice to have someone who can help you with maps AND you can blame later if it doesn't work! ;)
HobbitsRFun- I really feel for Estel and his insecurities, and don't worry, I plan to deal with the issue of him and Elrond! Not much of a big reunion, considering Estel was unconscious, but don't worry, it will come next chapter!
Galahan- Yes, I think you're rubbing off on me, if I'm lucky! I need to work on my sense of humor! I'm so glad you approve of Gandalf, I tried to make him amusing and as you said- right. Writing characters of others is always difficult, especially one like Gandalf! Stern, quirky, funny and in a way intimidating! Estel holding his breath until he turned blue.... What WAS he thinking? LOL.
Ivy
