Disclaimer: I do not own Charmed or any of the characters appearing on the show. If I did, it wouldn't suck so much now.
A/N: This story belongs to me. Please do not repost or archive this without my permission.
Only You
They grin, and once again speak of happiness and joy. I smile and laugh along, pressing my soul into the back of my mind. Why once more ruin their listless delight? My personal façade has become something of a believed state. 'I'm happy,' I tell myself a lot. What you hear people say is true: if you tell yourself something long enough, you begin to believe it. 'I'm happy.'
My life has moved on. I have a new job, one I love; I have a new car. My sisters tell me that I'm more relaxed now. In all honesty, they are probably right. After all, I no longer obsess over work; I sleep more, drink less coffee, take more time to be with my sisters… I can smile.
I can smile, but only you could make me melt. I've dated other guys. None of them ever really worked out. None of them could make me drop everything before they even walked in the door. I tried to be satisfied, content at the very least. But I don't think I ever tried... I don't think I ever really tried to love them. Don't misunderstand, some of them were kind and funny and handsome... but they weren't you.
You. You're the thought that lingers in my mind before I fall asleep. Even after two years, I still wonder if I will dream of you when I lie in bed at night. When I wake up in the morning, I reach towards the pillow on the other side of my bed, just to let my fingers touch you once more before I have to start my day. Has it really been two years? Oh, love, some part of me still aches at the thought of not seeing you in so long. My mind shies away from the idea that I may not see you for even longer.
Life has been kind. In contrast to what I have seen in these past days, my world is a quiet and forgiving one. What if we had waited? Perhaps now you could have your white picket fence. Perhaps... perhaps it would be with me. If you had not taken my well being into your own hands, if you had not come to the manor two years ago, maybe we would have the house, the white picket fence... the screaming kid... It's all you wanted. I wanted it, too. If I could have that with anyone, I would have chosen you.
I don't understand why now, in this moment, right here, I'm thinking about you. It's true... only you could make me melt. I loved it. Just the scent of you would always make me feel safe and protected. I haven't felt that in two years. Even when we weren't together, even near the end, just being near you made me believe that no one and nothing could touch me. I was enchanted by only you.
Two years, love. How much longer shall it be before I get to see your eyes, hear your voice, and touch your face? Forever, perhaps. I miss you, Andy.
If only I could stop thinking of you. Right now I should be focusing on Shax.
