COMMERCIAL BREAK
LA-LA-LA-LA-LA
BEGIN CHAPTER 3
INT. THE HOME OF THE MORGENDORFFERS – GARAGE – EVENING
Finding your girlfriend's hand being hold by an other boy, obviously
can have a simple reasonable explanation. Unless you are a 16-year old
high-school-quarterback, pump full with testosterone, then your further
actions are determined by the urge to kick your potential rival's teeth
in.
So after Kevin analyse the scene, his face fills with jealously and a huge amount of anger is building up in his muscles.
DARIAN: (he lets Brittany's hand go)
Eep!
It is now crucial to calm down the whole situation by using appropriate
words.
Unfortunately Brittany used the wrong ones.
BRITTANY:
Uhm, Kevin. I can explain…
EXT. THE HOME OF THE MORGENDORFFERS – EVENING
Nice sunset over Darian's House.
KEVIN VOICE OVER:
No one messes with my girlfriend but me! Die!
DARIAN VOICE OVER:
Aaah!!!
The sounds of kicked away furniture are heard.
BRITTANY VOICE OVER:
KEVY! KEVVVYYY! KEEEVVVYYY!
While the garage door opens slowly, Darian can roll out through a
gap. He runs away, while the garage door opens entirely, revealing Brittany,
who is holding back the raging Kevin.
SOME TIME LATER:
EXT. LAWNDALE'S RESIDENTIAL AREA – ROAD – EVENING
Somewhere down the street, Darian is peering behind a tree. Jane,
wearing her jogging outfit, spots him from behind. She sneaks up on him.
JANE:
Hey.
DARIAN: (shrieks)
Eep!
DARIAN VOICE OVER:
Oh no! Why her?…
(He doesn't fail to notice her short grey trainer pants.)
Such slim legs…
Stop that Darian! This situation is embarrassing enough!
JANE:
I have seen you running. You are quite fast.
DARIAN VOICE OVER:
Thank to the years of experience facing my deepest fears at school.
DARIAN:
Uh huh.
SOME TIME LATER:
EXT. THE HOME OF THE MORGENDORFFERS – ROAD – EVENING
Darian and Jane are walking side by side. They stop in front of
his house. They are talking to each other.
DARIAN: (slightly embarrassed)
… and so it was… your Honour.
JANE: (smiles)
Thank you Defendant. I resume:
The mouse bites Brittany hand. You examine the wound. Kevin comes in
and sees how you are "literally" holding Brittany's hand. And before he
can kick your teeth in. You managed to escape.
Is there anything you wish to say before I pass sentence?
DARIAN VOICE OVER:
Your interrogation techniques do make the Spanish Inquisition proud.
DARIAN:
No.
JANE:
You are certainly a victim of a classical moment of timing. Common
in the world of teeny-soap-operas, very rare in real life. So:
Not guilty. Case suspended.
DARIAN:
Thank you… But that still doesn't save me from the dead penalty by
Kevin.
JANE:
Gee, what is the matter with you boys? They see their girlfriend with
an other man and turn nuts.
DARIAN:
The same thing can be also said about girls.
JANE:
Nah… Boys beat each other up, and then drink a beer together. That
is there way of forgiving each other.
Girls can never forgive. They just ignore each other for the rest of
their lives.
INT. THE HOME OF THE MORGENDORFFERS – GARAGE – EVENING
Darian walk into the open garage. It seems that Brittany and Kevin
have left. Luckily the maze was still intact. But the mouse cage is gone.
He takes a note from the table. It was written by Brittany. He starts to
read it.
BRITTANY VOICE OVER:
"Dear Darian,
I have taken the mouse to my house, so we both can work together on
our teamwork.
See you tomorrow at school.
LOL
Brittany"
JANE: (peering over Darian's shoulder)
"LOL"!?!
Oh, la, la! Thinking of it, maybe you have trained the mouse to bite
her…
DARIAN: (embarrassed, he is about to blush)
Yes… No… See you tomorrow at school.
He rushes into his house. Jane is left behind and she rolls her eyes.
INT. THE HOME OF THE MORGENDORFFERS – LIVING ROOM – EVENING
Quentin is sitting on the sofa and looks miserable. Because he has
to witness how Helen and Jake are now debating about puberty. Darian walks
pass them.
HELEN:
Darian. Please join us! This is important.
(Darian, not knowing what he is expecting, does so.)
You know Jake, that we have decided to raise our sons not only to respect
their own bodies, but also the bodies of others.
JAKE:
I will say. Respect for your body is essential…My teen years were a
nightmare of shame and guilt. They didn't call it self-love then. They
called it self-abuse.
DARIAN AND QUENTIN: (horrified)
EWWW NOT AGAIN!
CUT TO:
INT. BRITTANY'S ROOM - DAY
Brittany speaks to the mouse in a cage.
BRITTANY:
Okay Mr. Mouse. I have taken you to my home, so we both can know each
other better. I need at least a "C" for my presentation. So you don't bite
me and I don't bite you okay?
(She reaches into the cage, and the mouse doesn't bite her.)
SUCCESS!
(She pets the mouse and puts it back into the cage.)
Unaware to Brittany, her little brother Brian was spying on her all
the time at the door. He rubs his hands with a psychopathic grin on his
face.
NEXT DAY:
INT. LAWNDALE HIGH – CORRIDOR
Brittany and Kevin are arguing.
KEVIN:
…But babe, I didn't do anything wrong.
BRITTANY:
Don't lie to me, Kevin. It's all over school now because of you!
All the girls say I am dating Quentin by using Darian as an excuse.
While all the boys say I am dating Darian by using Quentin as an excuse.
KEVIN:
I think my heads hurts!
BRITTANY:
Now to stop all these rumours. You have to make peace with Darian.
Right now!
She points with her finger to Darian, who is standing on the other side on the hall not far away of some other students. Kevin walks up to him.
KEVIN:
Hey Darian.
DARIAN:
Hey Kevin.
Kevin turns back to Brittany, who is watching them. She glares at him. He turns back.
KEVIN:
Uhm… about last evening. Brittany told me you have saved her from amputation…
well… I have kind of overreacted… we nearly had a fight… well I had a fight,
you ran away… but still… sorry.
DARIAN:
Pardon accepted.
KEVIN:
I was a bit jealous… Do you think I have made a fool out of myself?
DARIAN:
Well Kevin, if you ask me for a straight answer, then I shall say that,
as far as I can see, looking at it by and large, taking one thing with
another in terms, then in the final analysis it is probably true to say,
that at the end of the day, in general terms, you would probably find that,
not to put too fine a point on it, there probably wasn't very much in it
one way or the other…As far as one can see…. At this stage.
KEVIN: (pretending he would understand)
Yes… You know why babes like to make boys jealous? They like when boys
fight over them. It makes those vixens feel special.
DARIAN:
Kevin I never thought I would say this, but that is very deep.
KEVIN:
Yeah… what?
DARIAN:
Sorry, just forget my last sentence… So no harsh feeling then?
KEVIN:
No. I mean we are both grown up men.
Kevin stretches out his hand, Darian does too and they both shake hands.
VOICE OVER DARIAN AND KEVIN:
Sucker.
BRITTANY:
Let's go into class, guys!
VOICE OVER DARIAN AND KEVIN:
Bitch.
CUT TO:
INT. LAWNDALE HIGH – SCIENCE CLASS
The class is seated but the teacher hasn't arrived yet. Darian is
building up the maze on the front table. Brittany puts the cage on the
table. He takes a peak inside the cage. He is stunned and says to Brittany.
DARIAN:
Do you have a little brother?
BRITTANY:
How do you know?
She takes a peak inside the cage. She is stunned.
BRITTANY:
Damn! That Brian! He must have hurt our little mousie-wousie.
Darian puts it into the maze. The paralysed, traumatized mouse is shivering in fear, unable to find its way through the maze.
BRITTANY:
What shall we do?
DARIAN:
Teamwork! You will have to think up something fast and improvise. Meanwhile
I will abandon all hope and write an "F" into my personal school
journal.
Ms. Barch enters the room.
BARCH:
Brittany, Darian. I see you have set everything up, so you can start
right now.
Ms Barch glares at Darian, waiting for him to open his mouth. But Darian is mute. She turns to Brittany.
BARCH:
Brittany, did you go with negative or positive reinforcement?
BRITTANY:
Um... negative? I mean... positive?
(She points at the immobile mouse in the maze.)
The mouse, um... it's supposed to run down the path. Right? I mean
to look out for food pellet cheese. That is positive reinforcement. Because
it is rewarded, it always does things, it won't do normally.
Now in this case, due my little psycho brother, the mouse wasn't rewarded,
but tormented. So it does not do things, it would do normally. That is
negative reinforcement.
She picks up the shivering mouse and forms a cocoon with her hand over it. The mouse stops shivering. She puts it back into the maze and like a miracle the mouse walks to the food pellet.
BRITTANY:
And that was again positive reinforcement. In conclusion: Similar reactions
also occur in human society. A child who gets love and care can become
something real special like a head cheerleader, while a child who gets
hate and neglect can only become a looser.
The whole class focus on Darian.
BRITTANY:
… uhm… END!
Thinking of it… It was a very impressive show of Brittany.
Darian is impressed by Brittany.
Ms. Barch is impressed by Brittany.
The whole class is impressed by Brittany.
Kevin is folding paper planes.
DARIAN: (impressed, that she actually has learned something from
him)
That was good!
BARCH: (angry)
Don't interrupt… you… you… you must have… used hypnosis!
A war was raging inside Ms Barch's mind.
The teacher inside of her wanted to give them a "B+".
The man-hating bitter divorced women wanted to give them a "D".
The teacher won.
BARCH:
Although you presented us a very simplistic view, we still could understand
the core of your subject.
(grinning her teeth)
B+!
Both of you.
BRITTANY: (squeals)
B+! OH! Darian. That is so wonderful!
Brittany hugs him and gives him a peck on his cheek. Darian, not used to this kind of intimacy, is stunned.
KEVIN:
WHY YOU! I KNEW IT ALL THE TIME!
He clutches his fists while storming to Darian, who is pulling a stupid face.
FADE OUT:
While the carnage takes place.
THE END
MUSIC: "JEALOUS GUY" BY "JOHN LENNON"
CLOSING CREDITS.
END NOTES:
There will be 12 Episodes, which will range from Season
1 to Season 5 of the original Daria series. All the other episodes are
skipped, since I have got no intention to rewrite 65 episodes and 2 TV-movies.
If you have any questions, corrections and/or comments,
then please E-Mail me under: ace_trax@yahoo.de
When you want to see the fanart then go to: copyright owner of the TV-Series "Daria" is MTV.
I have no connection with the copyright owners and I
don't have the legal rights to use their material. This fanfiction story
was done without
authorization, permission or approval by their respective
copyright owners.
AUTHOR'S COPYRIGHT:
Please note that this fanfiction is a derivative work,
so it is protected by copyright law as long as the words and syntax are
novel. That means:
Me, as the author of this work do not own the pre-existing
copyrighted stuff, but I do own the whole rest. Those are all the novel
words and
syntax, which make the story.
This story is not for profit, it is a work of pure fandom,
without any financial interests.
Any financial or other uses of this document without
the specific permission of the authors (me and the other copyright owners)
are forbidden.
Text Copyright © 2004, Ace Trax. All rights reserved.
THANKS AND ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS:
Thanks to the creative minds of MTV, who gave the world
the best TV-series of all time: "The Osbournes".
