Falls Like Rain
Pacey: "It's over, isn't it?"
Joey: "It has to be."
Pacey: "Maybe you should be the first one to go this time."
The rain fell in torrents, hitting her white shirt and turning it translucent. Her hair was drenched in the rain, matted against her face and falling limply on her shoulders. She knew she had shivered from the cold earlier, but hadn't cared enough to keep walking so she could get home.
Thunder clapped overhead and the water hit the pier she was standing on, but she hadn't noticed. She was looking at the light that had gone on inside the boathouse, knowing he was probably inside now, hurting in a way she understood just as well as he did. Maybe even more so because part of her knew what would happen, knew exactly how Dawson would react to them. All day she knew and she also knew she couldn't stop it from happening. Knew that no matter how she felt about him or how Pacey felt about her, they would end apart.
Faced with the possibility of losing him, she'd given Pacey up. And now, staring at the light that had just been turned on moments before, she knew her decision had been wrong. Even as she walked away, the weight of her decision stilled her breathing and made her mind race. It was wrong to walk away from him.
But the rain continued to fall and she couldn't move from her spot, riveted to the place where he said they always seemed to end up.
Beginnings.
Endings.
And maybe, another beginning sometime in the future.
Walking away first this time, she had stopped and turned back. Unable to keep walking, she had stopped and stood there, watched the small light from the boat house go on until the rain started in on her.
She sighed, felt as if something was suffocating her from the inside and tilted her head down so she could see the pier beneath her feet. She cried along with the rain, not sure whether the drops that fell were from her or from the storm.
When she finally brought her head up, Pacey was standing in front of her. She hadn't heard him approach over the rumbling thunder and the deafening beat of her own heart. Their eyes locked and he stared at her intently for a few seconds, at the same time wanting her as far away as possible, but also wanting her so close to him that the drops of water that fell from her hair would land right on his skin. "What're you doing here?" He whispered it softly, but his voice was rough, scratched from the emotional exhaustion of the day.
Joey shook her head from side to side and opened her mouth to speak several times before she could answer. She blinked and the tear in her eye rolled down her cheek. Without even thinking, his hand reached out and brushed it away.
Sighing, he drew his hand away and licked his lips, training his eyes on the ground. She had the power to make his heart race with a glance, but now as she looked at him all he could feel was his heart breaking. He felt a literal pain in his chest, one that spread throughout him until every part of him ached for her, cried out for her like she was an addiction.
And maybe she was.
The rain continued to fall around them, their clothes hanging from their bodies from the weight of the water their clothing had soaked up, but as he looked at her, she had never looked more beautiful to him. Standing in front of him, where he could see her and touch her briefly, she was perfect. Everything he had ever wanted, but would never have.
"What're you doing here?" he repeated, unsure of how much longer he could stand here with her and still be able to leave, to walk away like she had. The more time that passed, he knew he wouldn't be able to leave her and he hurt all over again because it was what she had decided. For them to be over and for her to walk away.
"I don't know," she said simply, her voice cracking with the effort to speak. His touch had thrown her. Somehow, through it all, he was gentle and protective. She'd hurt him, but he wouldn't spite her, wouldn't hurt her even though he could. "I'm sorry," she said next and finally broke down. She buried her face in her hands and her body hunched over from her sobs.
His own eyes clouded over with pain while he watched her. This time when he touched her, it wasn't instinctive. It was deliberate and he was well aware of what he was doing and knew what she needed from him. Pulling her into his arms, he held her, let her cry while his arms shielded her from everything.
Knowing it was dangerous to keep holding her in his arms, he tightened his hold anyway and closed his eyes when he shifted his head and felt her hair brush the side of his face. The wet strands of her hair clung to his skin and he didn't think anything in the world could feel this good.
He didn't want to, but he knew it had to be done. "Jo," he whispered, moments later when the sobs had subsided. "Maybe you should go." But she felt so good, so damn right against him that he wondered whether his arms would even cooperate with him and release her. He never wanted to. He never wanted to let her go. But he had to and his arms reluctantly left her body. "Jo...."
"R-remember when you asked me what I would have done differently?" He nodded, swallowing down defeat. "I wasn't completely honest then because...there's only one thing I would change."
He almost didn't want to know because what she said next could further shatter what was left of him, but a small part hoped that maybe he would be made whole again. "What?"
She drew her head up and her eyes were clear when she looked at him; the tears were gone and she was staring straight into his eyes. She placed her open palms on the side of his face and licked her lips, still silent. Bringing his forehead down to her level, she sighed and closed her eyes when she felt him against her, dropping her hands so she could place them around his waist.
"I regret walking away from you. Everything else about today I could live with, but walking away from you..." she said, her voice broke and she paused to straighten herself out some. "I regret that. And if I could go back and change anything about today, I'd change that." His own eyes closed and he was now cupping her face in the rain, heart soaring like he couldn't believe in a matter of seconds. "I'm sorry, Pace."
He simply nodded and let out a breath. She felt it on her own lips, the mere whisper of his breath dancing across her mouth. Joey swallowed and moved her eyes up, looking into clear, blue eyes. She parted her mouth and inched toward him, while her hand moved back to the side of his face to touch him. The moisture of the rain was on her hands and his face, falling down on them when their lips touched. She smiled against his lips and firmly kissed him back, pulling him as close to her as he could get.
When they pulled away, Pacey pushed the wet strands of her hair away from her face with his hand gently and kissed her temple. Joey melted into his embrace and sighed, shutting her eyes and breathing him in. He smelled like fresh rain, like possibility. Like home.
"We should get out of the rain."
Nodding in agreement, she felt his hand around hers and followed when he led her back to the boathouse. Halfway there, she rested her head against his shoulder and he placed a comforting arm around her. For the first time during this whole day, she felt calm and alive. For the first time today, she was okay.
She brought her head up for a second to look at him and then her eyes turned heavenward to the dark skies above them that she finally noticed. "Stormy weather coming our way, huh?"
He smiled faintly. "I think I see clear blue skies ahead, Potter."
THE END
Pacey: "It's over, isn't it?"
Joey: "It has to be."
Pacey: "Maybe you should be the first one to go this time."
The rain fell in torrents, hitting her white shirt and turning it translucent. Her hair was drenched in the rain, matted against her face and falling limply on her shoulders. She knew she had shivered from the cold earlier, but hadn't cared enough to keep walking so she could get home.
Thunder clapped overhead and the water hit the pier she was standing on, but she hadn't noticed. She was looking at the light that had gone on inside the boathouse, knowing he was probably inside now, hurting in a way she understood just as well as he did. Maybe even more so because part of her knew what would happen, knew exactly how Dawson would react to them. All day she knew and she also knew she couldn't stop it from happening. Knew that no matter how she felt about him or how Pacey felt about her, they would end apart.
Faced with the possibility of losing him, she'd given Pacey up. And now, staring at the light that had just been turned on moments before, she knew her decision had been wrong. Even as she walked away, the weight of her decision stilled her breathing and made her mind race. It was wrong to walk away from him.
But the rain continued to fall and she couldn't move from her spot, riveted to the place where he said they always seemed to end up.
Beginnings.
Endings.
And maybe, another beginning sometime in the future.
Walking away first this time, she had stopped and turned back. Unable to keep walking, she had stopped and stood there, watched the small light from the boat house go on until the rain started in on her.
She sighed, felt as if something was suffocating her from the inside and tilted her head down so she could see the pier beneath her feet. She cried along with the rain, not sure whether the drops that fell were from her or from the storm.
When she finally brought her head up, Pacey was standing in front of her. She hadn't heard him approach over the rumbling thunder and the deafening beat of her own heart. Their eyes locked and he stared at her intently for a few seconds, at the same time wanting her as far away as possible, but also wanting her so close to him that the drops of water that fell from her hair would land right on his skin. "What're you doing here?" He whispered it softly, but his voice was rough, scratched from the emotional exhaustion of the day.
Joey shook her head from side to side and opened her mouth to speak several times before she could answer. She blinked and the tear in her eye rolled down her cheek. Without even thinking, his hand reached out and brushed it away.
Sighing, he drew his hand away and licked his lips, training his eyes on the ground. She had the power to make his heart race with a glance, but now as she looked at him all he could feel was his heart breaking. He felt a literal pain in his chest, one that spread throughout him until every part of him ached for her, cried out for her like she was an addiction.
And maybe she was.
The rain continued to fall around them, their clothes hanging from their bodies from the weight of the water their clothing had soaked up, but as he looked at her, she had never looked more beautiful to him. Standing in front of him, where he could see her and touch her briefly, she was perfect. Everything he had ever wanted, but would never have.
"What're you doing here?" he repeated, unsure of how much longer he could stand here with her and still be able to leave, to walk away like she had. The more time that passed, he knew he wouldn't be able to leave her and he hurt all over again because it was what she had decided. For them to be over and for her to walk away.
"I don't know," she said simply, her voice cracking with the effort to speak. His touch had thrown her. Somehow, through it all, he was gentle and protective. She'd hurt him, but he wouldn't spite her, wouldn't hurt her even though he could. "I'm sorry," she said next and finally broke down. She buried her face in her hands and her body hunched over from her sobs.
His own eyes clouded over with pain while he watched her. This time when he touched her, it wasn't instinctive. It was deliberate and he was well aware of what he was doing and knew what she needed from him. Pulling her into his arms, he held her, let her cry while his arms shielded her from everything.
Knowing it was dangerous to keep holding her in his arms, he tightened his hold anyway and closed his eyes when he shifted his head and felt her hair brush the side of his face. The wet strands of her hair clung to his skin and he didn't think anything in the world could feel this good.
He didn't want to, but he knew it had to be done. "Jo," he whispered, moments later when the sobs had subsided. "Maybe you should go." But she felt so good, so damn right against him that he wondered whether his arms would even cooperate with him and release her. He never wanted to. He never wanted to let her go. But he had to and his arms reluctantly left her body. "Jo...."
"R-remember when you asked me what I would have done differently?" He nodded, swallowing down defeat. "I wasn't completely honest then because...there's only one thing I would change."
He almost didn't want to know because what she said next could further shatter what was left of him, but a small part hoped that maybe he would be made whole again. "What?"
She drew her head up and her eyes were clear when she looked at him; the tears were gone and she was staring straight into his eyes. She placed her open palms on the side of his face and licked her lips, still silent. Bringing his forehead down to her level, she sighed and closed her eyes when she felt him against her, dropping her hands so she could place them around his waist.
"I regret walking away from you. Everything else about today I could live with, but walking away from you..." she said, her voice broke and she paused to straighten herself out some. "I regret that. And if I could go back and change anything about today, I'd change that." His own eyes closed and he was now cupping her face in the rain, heart soaring like he couldn't believe in a matter of seconds. "I'm sorry, Pace."
He simply nodded and let out a breath. She felt it on her own lips, the mere whisper of his breath dancing across her mouth. Joey swallowed and moved her eyes up, looking into clear, blue eyes. She parted her mouth and inched toward him, while her hand moved back to the side of his face to touch him. The moisture of the rain was on her hands and his face, falling down on them when their lips touched. She smiled against his lips and firmly kissed him back, pulling him as close to her as he could get.
When they pulled away, Pacey pushed the wet strands of her hair away from her face with his hand gently and kissed her temple. Joey melted into his embrace and sighed, shutting her eyes and breathing him in. He smelled like fresh rain, like possibility. Like home.
"We should get out of the rain."
Nodding in agreement, she felt his hand around hers and followed when he led her back to the boathouse. Halfway there, she rested her head against his shoulder and he placed a comforting arm around her. For the first time during this whole day, she felt calm and alive. For the first time today, she was okay.
She brought her head up for a second to look at him and then her eyes turned heavenward to the dark skies above them that she finally noticed. "Stormy weather coming our way, huh?"
He smiled faintly. "I think I see clear blue skies ahead, Potter."
THE END
