Emerging From the Shell
by Butterfly Girl
Insert disclaimers from chapter one here.
This part is sort of like a song fic. First bit of lyrics, marked by
[ ] are from Easier to Run by Linkin Park, the rest, marked with { }, are from Breaking the Habit, by the same group. There is a blip in those lyrics ({ }), marked with # # , that I altered to make them fit Onbin better. Other than that, they are completey, utterly, 150% © LINKIN PARK, NOT ME.


Onbin
I used all of the energy I had in my tiny body to keep running and to not cry. Without even realizing it, I made a bunch of false turns to confuse them, get them off my trail. All I wanted was to be alone, and I would succeed if it killed me.

During my flee, a song filled my mind. One that Annai had wrote as a poem, and Mako had put music to, that described how she used to be:

[It's easier to run
Replacing this pain with something numb
It's so much easier to go
Than face all this pain here all alone]


That was me, the little 16-year-old girl running from all she feared. The one that locked everything she had ever felt in her life up into a little turtle shell she had created to hide her pain from her abusers, so they couldn't win.

The one that was now fleeing from all she had loved.

{Memories consume, like oppening the wound
I'm picking me apart again}


Yes, I did like that Max guy back on Earth(2), but I deny it to this day. I refuse to let the world see that Gifuto Onbin let a guy into her heart, after all she had seen. He never did a thing to me, not even speak to me, most likely because I never gave him the chance to get close to me. I'm not sure if he knows that I saw him every time he ran from me, but I did. He would run, I think, because he was afraid of me and my attitude, and it hurt me horribly.

{You all assume, I'm safe here in my room
Unless I try to start again}


Sitting on a park bench, the tears finally broke free of my mental dam like an uncontrolled river. I knew at that very moment that I couldn't keep running from my past. I had to let someone in, so I could get free. But I also knew that letting someone try to pass my shell was easier said than done; I subconciously always snapped at anyone that came to close. I don't want to be this little thorn anymore! I want to be free! But I made my shell so strong even I can't break out of it!

{ I don't want to be the one, the battles always chose
Cause inside I realize, that I'm the one confused.}


I heard people running up to me, and I guessed it was Batafurai and the crew. I raised nothing but my eyes to them, and saw Max was there, too. What the...why??

Batafurai was in the lead, Taiga, Kojiro, and Riki right behind. Max was bringing up the rear, as if he had been left behind. "Onbin, we need to talk!" she yelled, stopping in front of me.

"No we don't, Batafurai! There is nothing to talk about!" I shot at her, quickly wiping my eyes. If I can't break this shell, then I might as well just live IN it. As if I have a choice...

{I don't know what's worth fighting for, or why I have to scream
I don't know why I instigate, and say what I don't mean}


"Onbin, what the heck is wrong?" Kojiro asked.

"You won't understand," I shot at him. And he wouldn't, he never went through what all I went through!

{I don't know how i got this way, I know it's not alright,
So I'm breaking the habit
I'm breaking the habit
Tonight}

"Try us," Taiga said simply.

"IIE."

Batafurai proved herself again. "Onbin, you're hurt, and we all know it. You know 3 of us are ninjas, and as such can see the pain you hide, the fear, the sadness. PLUS I know you as well as myself. And for as long as I've known you, you've had pain, fear, and sadness in your eyes, not to mention would blow up at the strangest comments and, above all, hated every male that ever walked into your life, no matter if they helped you or not. Now tell me the truth of your past before I have to take drastic measures and read your heart."

{Touching my cure, I tightly lock the door I try to catch my breath again}

I jumped up, glaring daggers at her. "Ya want the truth? Well, here it is: YOU WON'T UNDERSTAND!" With that, I turned to leave.

"Onbin, please," Max said, "I...I...I love you!"

{I heard much more, than anytime before}

THAT comment caught my attention. Whipping around, I screamed, "LOVE?" I laughed sarcastically. "No one's EVER loved me, and no one will, ESPECIALLY a guy!"

Taiga looked confused, which I had expected, as she couldn't possibly understand. "Why do you think that?"

{I have no options left again}

I sighed. No use hiding it now, might as well tell them. "Fine. I was abused on Earth(2), and not that verbal stuff Annai felt. I mean HIT."

Jaws dropped and eyes bugged. Taiga actually looked sick to her stomach at the thought. "...you mean...?" Riki asked.

"That falling branch thing, the one that resulted in staples? Wasn't an accident!"

"What exactly happened, Onbin?" Kojiro asked, Riki nodding in agreement.

"My day was like this: get up, get hit by my otou and imotou, go to school, endure verbal harassment by every guy in our grade except Tarento, go home, get hit, eat dinner, get hit, go to bed."

{ I don't want to be the one, the battles always chose
Cause inside I realize, that I'm the one confused.}


"Onbin, put it behind you," Max said, stepping up closer to me. I stood my ground. "It's no use to dwell on the past with such a bright future ahead of you. Your friends love you, and are still here. ALL of mine were killed, minus Shuzika."

Kojiro also stepped up, and I got the sinking feeling I was surrounded. "Onbin, I have something to tell you...you'll probably want to KILL me though..."

Folding my arms and glaring at him, I said sarcastically, "Try me. I told you my life, you tell me yours."

"I was the criminal who harassed you AND Tonbo that day at the candy store."

My own jaw dropped. "You WHAT?" No WONDER he looked so freakin' familiar...why in God's name did I even LET him this close to me? I took a few steps back, pointing at Kojiro. "You see? No guy besides my little bro is worth trusting! They'll just hurt me, even when I don't know them!"

{I don't know what's worth fighting for, or why I have to scream
I don't know why I instigate, and say what I don't mean}

Max walked up, standing right next to me. I turned to look at him, confused. "Onbin..." Before I could react, he was embracing me.

For a brief second, I panicked. I couldn't remember a time in my life that I'd been held like this, and I had no idea how to react. But the panic subsided. A frightening thought filled my mind.

I didn't want him to let me go.

I realized he wasn't going to hurt me, that he was acutally trying NOT to hurt me... If he had any intent to cause pain, he would have used his advantage by now. And the thought that I was comfortable in his embrace was scaring me senseless.

"Am I hurting you?" he asked me simply.

"Iie..." I replied softly.

"Do you feel like your in REAL danger, like I'm going to hurt you at any second?"

"Iie...not at all..."

{I don't know how I got this way, I know it's not alright,
So I'm breaking the habit
I'm breaking the habit
Tonight}


Batafurai stepped up. "You see, On-chan, not every guy will hurt you like your fake otou did."

Nodding, Riki added, "Your otou was nuts, your imotou too young to see the errors in her ways. You didn't deserve a bit of it, and never did a thing to invoke it!"

Kojiro embraced me as well. "NOW are you in danger? Or are 2 friends showing their respect to someone they look up to, because of her courage?"

"I...guess the last one..." Looking up at Riki, I added, "Isn't Riki...ya know...mad?"

Riki actually looked surprised at my question. "Me? Nah. You're Kojiro's friend, no matter what you think. And his friends are like family to him."

{I'll paint it on the walls
Cause I'm the one at fault}


Kojiro let me go, and I looked up into Max's eyes. Never noticed that his eyes were green before...a really cool shade of green... "So...this is why you guys dated..."

"Yeah, basically..." Taiga said.

"And why Riki and I married. We want to spend the rest of our lives with the ONE guy that we love, the one that loves us back with all his heart, and will always love us, despite our many flaws," Batafurai added.

Kojiro said, "Onbin, I'm sorry I was mean to you WAY back. I dind't apologize then, but I hope you'll accept one now." He held out his hand.

I looked at his outstretched hand for a bit, then slowly reached out and took it. "I...forgive you, Kojiro...and sorry guys, I was a true jerk. I see now all you were doing was trying to help me."

"ABOUT TIME!" Taiga exclaimed. "Girl, you had the hardest turtle shell I've ever seen on a person in my 15 years of life! Seriously, we couldn't bear to see you harbor so much hurt anymore, and were prepared to do what we had to to help you."

I laughed, then hugged Max. I think I surprised him, cause it took him a few seconds to hug me back. "And I'm sorry, Max. I shouldn't have been so rude to you."

{I'll never fight again
And this is how it ends}


After a few seconds, Taiga asked, "Max...did...you like Onbin back on Earth(2)?"

"Yeah," Batafurai added, "Cause ya sure ran from her like a scared love-sick puppy!"

"I did like her, but because of her attitude, I was afraid she was gonna pound my face in!" he replied, getting a laugh from the girls. I just looked down, smiling softly.

{I don't know what's worth fighting for,
Or why I had to scream
But now I have some clarity, to show you what I mean}


"Now," he said, causing me to look up, "I just want to have the BEST future with the one I love." Before I knew what was happening, he kissed me.

THAT was something I wasn't expecting, but sure wasn't going to argue with! I suddenly regretted all of those times that I fake-gagged when Batafurai and Tarento kissed. Seriously, it was a wonderful experience. Fear kept me from THIS?? Blushing beet red, I gently kissed him back.

{ #I do know how I got this way
I might just be alright# }


I think the girls noticed that I kissed him back, maybe he blushed or something, cause Batafurai and Riki started cheering.

"Ah, for crying out loud guys let the poor girl have her first kiss without the cheering crowd threatening to sell tickets!" Taiga groaned, apparently remembering when Annai, Batafurai, and Riki did the same for her.

{So I'm breaking the habit
I'm breaking the habit}


I broke the kiss, looking into his eyes. If he had had any doubt of my feelings for him, I hope that dashed them. Just to be sure, I said, "So this is what love's like..."

He smiled. "Yes, it is."

Kojiro cleared his throat, and I saw he had his arm around Riki. "Let's go home, we've got BIG news to report."

"Yeah. Gifuto Onbin is no longer the Man-Slayer," I stated.

{I'm breaking the habit}

Batafurai smiled as I stood. "Yep. You're finally free of your shell, On-chan."

"You glad?" Taiga asked.

I nodded. "I honestly hated being the little thorn, trapped in her past, but I was too stuck to get out on my own, and too scared to ask for help."

"We knew that," Riki said as we all started walking home. "The way you snapped at us was the way I'd snap at people when they accused me of being nothing more than a tall powerhouse. It was a defence mechanism."

"Uh...right...And before any of you ask...I did like Max on Earth(2). I've just been in denial for the past 3 years."

I think I acutally HEARD Max's jaw drop. "Y...you...liked me too?"

"Hai. I just wasn't going to let people think I got soft."

He just took my hand and gave it a gentle squeeze.

I knew then and there that I was free from my "shell." That my past was forever behind me, and that my future was bright and full of love. Together, with my friends and love, I was able to emerge from my shell, to walk freely among the world without having to hate guys.

{Tonight}