Disclaimer: I do not own Rurouni Kenshin, Cowboy Bebop, or any of the characters from these series.

Authors Notes: … Moo to you…

~~~

The Random Adventures of Vash!

Chapter 5: Adventures in Time and Space! (Part 1)

And so, our heroes prepared for the trip through different dimensions in order to look for the Dragon Balls…

Mary looked to everyone. "Alright, we need to decide who goes where and how we are going to do this… I guess I'll just stay here and make sure nothing goes wrong, while the rest of you go through the portal to the dimensions that the Dragon Balls are located in…" She stared the group. Vash, Meryl, Milly, Wolfwood, Kaite, Sayuri, and Gary. Meryl was carrying Vish. "Perfect… You will each go into a different dimension to gather the Dragon Balls…" She walked over and gently took Vish from Meryl. "Vish will stay here with me… Now, we have no idea what is in these portals, so be very careful…" The group nodded. Mary gave them each a special watch. "These watches are mini Dragon Radars, assigned to a specific Dragon Ball… Basically, you will all go into the portal, and the radars will take you to the dimension with a Dragon Ball… After they have all been found, I will push a button to bring you back here…" Mary's feet were suddenly fastened. "Good luck…" Mary pushed a button, and the others were sent hurtling into the portal.

"Gyah, wait!!" Vash screamed. "I'm not ready!!--"

~~~

The Adventure of Vash…

Vash awoke in a dimly lit room. He looked around, and saw that he was in a clay building with glassless windows that were basically nothing but holes in the wall. His eyes eventually met with a young girl with brown hair and yellow eyes. She was wearing overalls and a white shirt. "Grandpa! He's woken up!!" The girl yelled behind her. Suddenly, an old man with a gray shirt, brown pants, and boots walked in. "What is it, Julie?…" He looked at Vash and smiled. "Ah, so you're awake… Are you alright, young man?… You took quite a fall…"

Vash fought not to laugh at the 'young man' comment. "I'm older than him" Vash thought to himself. "Um… Yeah…"

"Good, good…" the old man then brought out a bat and whacked Vash on the head with it.

"Ow!!" Vash screamed, holding his head. "What was that for?!"

"For bringing a gun in this house! Don't you know guns are forbidden by except the king and his men?!"

Vash blinked. "Oh, that's right… I am in another dimension…" "Oh, sorry… I did not know that…"

Old man stared hard at Vash. "Where do you come from, young man?… I haven't seen you around these parts…"

"Oh, I'm from… Far away…"

"Damnit, outsiders are forbidden, too!! You wanna get pied?!"

Vash raised an eyebrow. "Pied?…"

Horses could be heard from outside. Vash ducked as a pie flew towards him. It hit the wall with a SPLAT. He walked over to the wall, stuck a finger in the pie, then licked his finger. "Mmm, banana cream…" He turned around to get hit in the face with a pie. "… AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!! IT'S KIWI!!!!!! I HATE KIWI!!!" Vash began to run around the room hysterically. He slipped on some more pie and flew out the window. "Ow…"

The men who were throwing pies rode up on horses. They were wearing black cloaks. One man with a fun hat walked up. "King Bill says this: 'Let it be known, that outsiders will be arrested, then executed without fair trial. Ha ha ha ha… ha ha…'… So get the hell up, your ass is arrested…" The men in cloaks pick up Vash and rode through the desert.

"Good riddance…" the old man said. "Boy was nothing but trouble…"

Julie looked to her grandfather. "Grandpa, please can we go save him?… He was nice…"

The old man glared. "No! And that's final…" Julie looked to the old man sadly, whimpering. "No, that won't work this time…" She began crying. "… Alright, let's go…"

~~~

At the castle…

Vash was tossed to the king's feet. He looked up to the king to see… "Shishio?! How did you get a role in this fanfic?!"

The mummy-like man looked to the camera, smiled sadistically, and simply said "I have a Hollywood agent…"

"But I thought you hated the Meiji Restoration and the modernization of Japan! Why are you using guns?!"

"My men and I don't use guns… And now I will show off my creepy-ness by biting off your manhood…" Shishio calmly said, going mad and opening with saliva saturated mouth wildly while jumping towards Vash.

"Gyah!!! NNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!"

"Stop right there, King Bill!!" the old man screamed, running in.

Shishio glared. "I forgot who gave me that name… Remind me to purge him when I find out…"

"Boy!" the old man yelled. "Here is your gun!!" the old man tossed the gun to Vash, but with super speed, Shishio chopped the gun in two.

Vash gasped. Shishio laughed. "Now, I shall strike you all down!!"

Suddenly, a young man with long golden hair in a ponytail burst in. "Shishio!!! Your reign ends here!!!" The young man was wearing a coat that looked like Vash's, but was very tattered looking. A few strands of hair fell down his face. His eyes were a light gray. He smiled at Vash. "Dad, catch!" he tossed Vash's gun, now reapaired, to the confused humanoid. "Did you just call me… dad?…"

Shishio growled. "I will kill you all!! If you are strong, you live! If you are weak, you die!!" Shishio rushed towards them, but Vash and the young man disappeared. The old man was already gone. "Grah!!"

~~~

Outside, the young man explained things. Vash's eyes widened as he pointed at the mysterious youth. "You're Vish?…"

Vish nodded. "Yep… And I have something for you…" he pulled out an orange sphere out of his pocket. It had a single red star on it.

"That's a Dragon Ball!"

"Yep… Mother found it a few years ago, and kept it safe until you… The one from the past… Came to get it…"

"So… what happened here?"

"Shortly after we all returned, we discovered that our journey's had caused a rift in the entire universe… People from different dimensions came here and a war for control began… Almost everyone involved in the battle perished… Except Shishio and a handful of people in our group… Most civilians fortunately lived…"

"So… Meryl…"

"Mom is fine… But you never returned with this One Star Dragon Ball, and then Wolfwood, Sayuri, Mary, and Gary died… Kaite lost his… ahem…"

"Ow… Lost his girl and his pride…"

"Yeah, bummer… Anyway, when he finally recovered, he began training me… But he tried to face off against Shishio and--"

"--Died?…"

"No… Then he lost his hair…"

"I bet by then he wished he was dead…"

"Finally, he died by choking on a pretzel…"

"Yikes… The future isn't going to be kind to him…"

"Anyway, you must go now… Maybe, just maybe… You can change time…"

"Goodbye, son…"

"Goodbye… dad…"

Vash disappeared in a blue flash.

Vish blinked. "I wonder what mom is making for dinner…"

~~~

The Adventure of Wolfwood…

Wolfwood sat on a couch. He looked at his watch. "Look, how long are you gonna have me sit here? I'm telling you, I'm not a bad guy!"

The crazy hacker sometimes known as 'Radical Edward' growled viciously at the priest. He looked at her nervously. "Hey, hey, hey… Calm down there…"

Jet walked into the room, then looked at Wolfwood. "So, how the hell did you get here?…"

Wolfwood smirked. "Would you believe me if I said that I traveled here through an inter-dimensional portal built by a genius high school student?…"

Jet smirked back. "Not a chance…"

Faye glared from the doorway. "I don't trust him…"

"I like him…" Spike joked as he walked down the steps. "He reminds me of me a bit… If I liked kids…"

Faye smiled. "That's exactly why I don't trust him…"

"…Stuff it, Faye…"

"Ooh… So very mature, Chia-head…"

"Resorting to name calling, now are we?…"

Wolfwood flinched. "Do they always argue like this?…"

"This is nothing… They're actually in a good mood right now…" he stared at the two younger adults. "They're like brother and sister… In fact, we're all like a family on this ship…"

Wolfwood became somewhat saddened as he realized that he missed his own little 'dysfunctional family that isn't really a family'. He suddenly stood up. "Damnit…"

Jet raised an eyebrow. "What's up, Wolfwood?…"

"I was here searching for something that would bring me back to my home and help bring back a friend… Well actually, he wasn't much of a friend and kept hitting on my girl…"

Jet twitched. "What?! Movin' in on your girl?! Then go and kill that bastard yourself!!! Twist off your mechanical arm and--" he calmed down. "Oh right, you don't have a mechanical arm…" he lost it again. "Then wait till he's asleep, then--"

"Jet, stop it man… I'm a priest, for God's sake… Not a very good one, but even I have my limits…"

"Right… In that case, just--"

"NO. I am not that jealous. Besides, I trust my Milly…"

"You won't be saying that when she dumps you for some psycho, and then when you ask why she left you, she's all like 'well, you were too demanding… I needed my space'… 'Space', my ass…"

Wolfwood raised an eyebrow. "Um, I think I'll leave you alone for now…" Wolfwood then tiptoed away. He then sat next to Spike. "So…"

"Yeah?…" Spike said, not looking at anything in particular…

"Nice outfit…"

"Yeah, same to you…"

A few feet away, Ed was crawling towards Spike's room. The girl had always wondered what was in Spike's room. She quickly opened the unlocked door and ran in. Spike instantly stood up. "Ed! Damnit, Ed!! Get out of my room!" Spike ran in.

"Ooh!…" Ed began, picking up the Two Star Dragon Ball. "Pretty…"

Wolfwood, walking in, stared at the Dragon Ball and then at Spike. "Spiiike…"

Spike blinked. "Um, yeah?…"

"… You have a Dragon Ball?…"

Spike shrugged. "Hell, I didn't know what it was… I was just using it as a paper weight…"

Wolfwood stared at Ed. "Edaward?…"

"Yes-Yes?" Ed saluted Wolfwood.

"Could you give Uncle Nicky that shiny ball?…"

"No! Edward found it!!" Ed screamed, and began to snarl.

"Ed!! Give me the ball, please…"

"…" Wolfwood walked back into the Bebop's 'living room' and grabbed Ed's 'Tomato' laptop. "Ed, give me the ball, or the computer gets it…" Ed snarled, and jumped toward Wolfwood, dropping the ball in the process. Spike absent mindedly caught it and scratched his head. He tried to bite into it, but broke a tooth. "Ow!"

~~~

So after a quick tussle with Ed, Wolfwood retrieved the Dragon Ball and said his goodbyes to the Bebop crew. He shook hands with Spike. "Seeya, Spike… I'm think we both agree when I saw that it feels like we're both leaving a part of ourselves…"

"Heh heh…" Spike chuckled. "Yeah… Maybe we'll see each other again?…"

"Who knows…" Wolfwood waved again as he faded out in a glow of blue.

~~~

Meanwhile…

"Oh, they're so cute!!" Milly squealed, hugging a bunch of hamsters.

Hamtaro choked out. "Ack… Can't… breath?… Heke?" Hamtaro slipped out of Milly's reach. He ran toward a strange shiny object. He reached it, and saw that it was an orange ball with 5 red stars on it. He rolled towards Milly and tilted his head.

Milly looked down and smiled. "The 5 Star ball! Oh thank you, cute little hamster!!" To the relief of the other Ham-Hams, Milly put them down and hugged Hamtaro even tighter. "You're so cute!!"

"Eep…" Hamtaro fell to the ground and saw that the 'crazy hug girl' was gone.

Bijou ran up to Hamtaro. "Are you alright, Hamtaro?…"

Hamtaro coughed. "Yeah… No thanks to that crazy-ass bitch…"

~~~

Somewhere else…

Sayuri awoke in a bed. She looked around. The room was completely dark except for a single light surrounding the area around the bed. She tried to get up, but realized that she was tied up. "What is this?! Is someone there?! Let me go!!"

Mary walked into the room, wearing her cloak. She smiled at Sayuri. "Why hello there, Sayuri…" She walked over to the bed. "How are you?…"

Sayuri got a look of relief. "Mary! Thank goodness! I don't know what you are doing here, but could you help me out of this?…"

"Sorry Sayuri, I'm afraid I can't do that…"

"Why not?!"

"You see, Sayuri… This is a dimension created by me, or at least the real me…" She slowly pulled off her cloak to reveal a black bustier. "All of my real self's deepest, darkest fantasies take place here…" She hopped on the bed and crawled on her knees towards Sayuri. "And I plan to make you mine…" She licked her lips. "…and only mine…"

"B-but… Mary!!… I kind of thought you swung that way after the elevator thing, but I have a boyfr--"

"Do you really think I give a shit?… I love you, damn it… I want you… Now we can either do this the easy way, or I can make you my bitch…" Mary then kissed Sayuri on the lips, forcing her tongue into Sayuri's mouth.

"Mmph!!" Sayuri panicked. But it was no use… They were the only ones there…

To Be Continued…

~~~

La, la, la… Oh come on, like you people that were paying attention to the hints I dropped about Mary couldn't see that coming! Anyway, that's it for now! Seeya all later!