Disclaimer: I do not own Trigun, the cereal mascots, or Gundam… Or the Dragon Balls, for that matter… In fact, the only original thing about this whole thing are maybe a few jokes, and some of the characters…
Author's Notes: Mwahahaha… Now that I have thoroughly disgusted everyone, let's get on with the story… =) Part 2 of the 'Time and Space' storyline! Onward!!
~~~
The Random Adventures of Vash!
Chapter 6: Adventures in Time and Space! (Part 2)
The Adventure of Sayuri…
Sayuri awoke in a bed. (Yes, you must endure this again… XD) She looked around. The room was completely dark except for a single light surrounding the area around the bed. She tried to get up, but realized that she was tied up. "What is this?! Is someone there?! Let me go!!"
Mary walked into the room, wearing her cloak. She smiled at Sayuri. "Why hello there, Sayuri…" She walked over to the bed. "How are you?…"
Sayuri got a look of relief. "Mary! Thank goodness! I don't know what you are doing here, but could you help me out of this?…"
"Sorry Sayuri, I'm afraid I can't do that…"
"Why not?!"
"You see, Sayuri… This is a dimension created by me, or at least the real me…" She slowly pulled off her cloak to reveal a black bustier. "All of my real self's deepest, darkest fantasies take place here…" She hopped on the bed and crawled on her knees towards Sayuri. "And I plan to make you mine…" She licked her lips. "…and only mine…"
"B-but… Mary!!… I kind of thought you swung that way after the elevator thing, but I have a boyfr--"
"Do you really think I give a shit?… I love you, damn it… I want you… Now we can either do this the easy way, or I can make you my bitch…" Mary then kissed Sayuri on the lips, forcing her tongue into Sayuri's mouth.
"Mmph!!" Sayuri panicked. But it was no use… They were the only ones there…
Sayuri bit Mary's tongue. Mary quickly jerked away. "Ow! What'd you do that for?!"
Sayuri glared. "What do you think?… If you truly love someone, you don't rape them! Geez!" Suddenly, a gateway opened, the Real Mary stepped in. She blinked, then smacked her forehead. "Oh , not this dream again… I completely soaked the sheets that night--" Real Mary quickly stopped herself and coughed. "Erm, sorry…" She walked over to the Fantasy Mary, pressed on her neck, and Fantasy Mary fell asleep. Then, she walked over to the bed and freed Sayuri. "Anyway, I sort of forgot that I had this world set on 'sexual fantasy'… I was actually hoping to send you to one of my 'cuter' fantasies where we went on an innocent date and found a cute little kitty…" Real Mary coughed again. "Anyway… Hello, Sayuri…" Mary waved.
Sayuri blinked and stuttered while she spoke. "M-M-M-Mary… You're a les--"
Mary quickly interrupted. "Bi-Sexual… And yes, I am madly in love with you…"
"… How long was this?" Sayuri asked, rubbing her sore wrists.
"Well, first I had a bit of a crush on Kaite… But after our fight, there was… just something about you…"
"Well, sorry… But I am completely straight…"
"I know… The only thing I can do now is dream about you…"
"Mary, that's not healthy…" Sayuri then quickly waved her hands. "I mean, not the being bi thing!-- But, um… You just can't obsess over anyone, guy or girl… It's just not healthy…"
"I know…" Mary walked up and kissed Sayuri one last time on the lips. She then broke the kiss, tears flowing down her face. "It's just so hard… trying to give you up…"
Sayuri gave a smile of reassurance. "Hey, what are you crying over me for?… I'm just a dirty ol' tomboy…"
Mary suddenly hugged her. "But that's what I love about you…"
Sayuri hugged back. "It's okay…" She then sighed. "But we still haven't found the Dragon Ball that's supposed to be here…"
Mary blinked. Again. Then she walked to the knocked out Fantasy Mary, reached into her bustier, and pulled out the 4 Star Dragon Ball. She then walked over to Sayuri and handed it to her. Sayuri stared at Mary. Mary blinked. "…What?…"
"Freak…"
~~~
Meanwhile, in King Enma's Castle…
"Millions Knives!" the giant creature of judgment growled.
"Gyyyyyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!!!" Knives screamed.
"…Do you like cookies?…" King Enma smiled, taking out a plate of cookies. "My wife just baked some fresh from the oven! I hope you like Chocolate Chip…"
Knives blinked in amazement, then grabbed a cookie. "Um, yes… Thank you…"
"Who the hell said you could eat one of my cookies!!!"
"Eh?!…"
"… BWAHAHAHAHA!!!! Ah don't worry, just screwin' with ya! Anyway, I need you to go down to Hell for me…"
"What?! But… I was misguided! I didn't mean to do those bad things!!! I had a traumatizing childhood!!!"
"No, no… Nothing like that! I was just having trouble with some people down there… You're the only one besides me that could take them out! I'm a very busy man… Don't worry, you're going to Heaven! You're last deed, plus doing this for me will be enough to repent and get in…"
"…Wow, that was all I had to do?… But wait… I'm a plant, not human!"
"Neither are the guys down there I want you to take care of!"
"Eh?…"
"You'll see…"
~~~
And so, Knives went down to Hell… He walked around for a bit, when he heard about a disturbance at the local theater… He walked down there and stared at the sight…
"Hey!" the Trix Rabbit yelled. "That's the guy!"
"I bet he thinks he's so GRRRRRREAT!" Tony the Tiger laughed. "Let's get him!"
"I have to follow my nose!…" Toucan Sam said, refined. "…to your ASS, where my FOOT will be!"
"Knives!" Fred screamed. "You stole my Pebbles!"
Knives looked confused. "But I don't even know what Pebbles are!!"
"Well, that just gives me more reason to kick your ass!"
Knives stared on in disbelief. "You have got to be kidding me…"
The mascots then pulled out guns. Knives gulped. "Don't I get a last request?…"
The mascots paused for a moment. "Nope…"
Suddenly, in a flash, the guns were all shot out of their hands. Knives and the mascots looked over to see a woman in white, holding two derringers. She smiled. "All in one shot each… Nice to see I'm not rusty…"
Knives blinked. "Meryl?!"
"Yep! Meryl Stryfe, at your service!"
~~~
Meryl's Adve--
~~~
"Cut it out, jerk!" Meryl scolded.
"Excuse the unintentional pun, but what the hell are you doing here?…"
"Well, me and the others are on a quest for the Dragon Balls, lost in Time and Space thanks to Milly… It seems that either the machine has a glitch, or the Dragon Ball I am looking for is somewhere around here…" Meryl looked at her mini-Dragon Radar. (which everyone else seems to have forgot about… idiots… ¬_¬) "Nope, no mistake! One of these guys has it!"
"A Dragon Ball?" Tony scratched his head. "Now why would someone do that to a poor dragon?…"
Meryl growled. "Not that kind! It's a big, orange pearl-like object with a certain number of stars on it!"
Tony blinked. "Y'mean this?…" the tiger reached under his red bandana to reveal the 6 star Dragon Ball. "I found this in my bowl of Frosted Flakes one morning… In fact, that's how I died… Choked on the damn sucker…"
Meryl raised an eyebrow. "Wait, why are you all in Hell? You're mascots!"
Tony coughed. "All product mascots go to Hell, unfortunately…"
"For what?!" Meryl screamed, surprised.
Tony looked down to the ground sadly. "False advertising…"
Meryl blinked. "Oh, I see… I think…"
"Anyway, I don't want this piece of shit…" Tony growled. "You can have it…" Tony was about to walk over and hand the ball over to Meryl, when Silly Rabbit intervened.
"Wait, what are you doing?! Don't just give it to her!" Silly Rabbit screamed.
Tony glared. "Man, look… I love you and all, I mean we're like brothers almost, but did you see her accuracy? I don't wanna mess with that shit, dude…."
"They're just derringers! Puny little guns with only two bullets per gun! We've got better!"
"Oh, boys?…" Meryl called over to them. "There's reason why I'm called 'Derringer Meryl…'" She smirked and opened up her outer cloak, revealing her many derringers.
The mascots eyes widened. "Holy Shit!" Fred Flinstone screamed. "That bitch is packing heat! Let's get the hell out of here!!" They all ran off, Tony tossing the Dragon Ball.
"… Why'd they run away like that?… " Meryl asked curiously. "They're already dead…"
"Because, if you 'die' in the afterlife…" Knives began, dramtically. "… Your soul will completely be destroyed, leaving absolutely no hope of ever being revived or reincarnated…" Knives smirked. "It's nice to see you again, Spider Woman…"
Meryl returned the smirk. "Same to you, Knives… Once we revive you, everyone else will be glad, too…"
"Oh yes, the Dragon Ball's wishing power… Well, I guess you have to be going now…"
"Yeah… Seeya later, Knives…" Meryl walked over to the Dragon Ball, picked it up, and slowly disappeared in a glow of blue.
Knives simply stood there for a few moments before finally saying. "Now how the hell do I get out of here?…"
~~~
Kaite's-- Aww, you get the point…
Somewhere in space…
Kaite awoke in a dark, cold place. He slowly opened his eyes groaned in pain. "What happened?…" He heard voices. "Crap, gotta hide!" He crawled up some steps, and reached the top of some sort of giant machine. He accidentally brushed against a button and a door opened. He stared suspiciously, but hopped into the machine anyway. It quickly shut closed. "Damn, it was a trap!" He looked around at all the buttons. "Or maybe not…" The machine suddenly activated. "What the?!---" Lights flickered on, and Kaite instinctively grabbed the controls. A door on the ship Kaite was on opened, and Kaite's eyes widened as he saw that he was in space. The machine suddenly took off at break neck speed, out of the ship and into space. From the machine, Kaite could hear a voice blaring over a speaker.
"The Mobile Suit 'L Gundam' has been stolen! All Zaka-Zaka units prepare to pursue the thief!"
"Oh, crap!!" Kaite saw several units chasing after him. From the outside, we see that the Gundam is white with red stripes and a purple chest. He pulled a random lever, and the Gundam pulled out a blue sword. "What the--" Kite moved a joystick around and the Gundam began to wildly swing the sword, blocking all gun blasts and slicing through any Zaka-Zaka's that dared get near him. He saw a vision of a sword swinging towards him from behind, and he turned around to block it with his sword. He was face to face with another Gundam. This one was completely black except for it's face which was red, and it's green eyes stared at him.
Inside this new Gundam was a guy in a mask. He smirked. "This one is good… It must be the Legendary Amuro Ray himself…"
Suddenly, some other Gundam's came along and blew the hell out of the Zaka-Zaka's, so the bad guys retreated. The cowards…
~~~
So, on the ship, Kaite met with the crew… "So… Who are you guys?…"
A man, presumably the leader of this operation, walked up to Kaite. "Hi! I'm Amuro Ray, the original 'whiny guy who complains about not wanting to fight, then when he actually gets into a mech he is a killing machine/insane'! Shinji Ikari, Yuji Kaido, and Kira Yamato have got nothing on me!"
"… Who the hell are they?…"
"… Not important! Just like these guys behind me! In fact, they'll probably all be dead for no reason by the time this story is over! Just like Star Trek!"
"Sir! This boy, Kaite, is a Newtype!" a man said, looking at some scans. "He could be a good asset to the battle!"
"So, how about joining us?"
"Look, I have things to do… Sorry, but I don't want to fight!"
"That's the spirit! You're in!"
~~~
Meanwhile, back on Gunsmoke…
Mary and Sayuri walked out of the portal. Sayuri blinked. "I never want to go through that again…" Mackenzie waved, holding Vish. Sayuri waved back.
Suddenly, Vash came through the portal. "Yay! I got it!" He yelled, holding up the Dragon Ball.
Then, Milly, Meryl, and Wolfwood came out. "We made it out alive!"
"Wait…" Mary began. "Where are Kaite and Gary?…"
Vash looked around. "Maybe something is holding them up?…"
A red flash suddenly filled the room. When it subsided, Future Vish stood there. "Um, hello everyone…"
"Vish!" Vash suddenly yelled. "Hi, son!"
"Eeeeh?…" Meryl twitched.
F. Vish smacked his forehead. "Oh well, anyway, I just wanted to check up on things…" He looked around at the strange looks he was getting. "Oh, yeah… Aunt Mary was working on a time traveling watch before she died… She taught me a few things, so I did a bit here and there and completed it… I just came to check up on things… I see that father returned, so the future may have hope…"
"Yeah, but Kaite and Gary aren't here yet…" Mary replied.
"Hmm… Odd…"
Mary looked over to the machine. "Oh, no…"
"…What?…"
"All that traveling caused a rift… There is going to be a dimension burp…"
"…Burp?" Wolfwood began. "What does that mean?…"
"It means… The Universe is collapsing and to repair it, people from different dimensions are going to be tossed here…"
"No!" F. Vish yelled. "This is… This is too early!…"
Everyone looked on in horror as the siren went off…
To Be Continued…
~~~
Annnnd the shit has hit the fan! ^_^;
