Disclaimer: Look, I do not own anything except the characters that I created! So nyah! And that's all!

Authors Notes: Okay, now that I've officially scarred everyone… Let's just wrap this 'Time and Space' storyline up so we can get back to the random humor episodic chapters. Okay, let's see… Everyone except Kaite and Gary has returned, and the universe is having a meltdown. Hey, if I can get this thing up to 13 chapters, my entire "Trigun Comedy" series will have a total of 26 chapters… Kinda makes me wish I had simply tacked this story on as additional 13 chapters to my first Trigun humor series. Anyway, you came here to read offensive and sometimes random off the wall humor mixed in with a bit of drama and romance with a pinch of actual plot, now didn't you? So I end this a shameless plug… Buy Trigun: Volume 2 and Trigun Maximum: Volume 1 (Coming Next Month!) as soon as you can!!! Only $14.95, and it's almost twice as big as most Graphic Novels!!! End shameless plug, now on with the fic!

~~~

The Random Adventures of Vash!

Chapter 7: Adventures in Time and Space! (Part 3, the Conclusion)

F. Vish cursed to himself. "Damn! It's too early! It's not supposed to happen for another day or two! What's going on?!"

Mary glared at F. Vish. "If my future self did teach you a few things, then you should know what's going on…" She walked over to a nearby chalk board.

"Eh?…" F. Vish said, confused. He scratched his head. "What are you talking about?"

"While your efforts to save the future were valiant, you may have ended up screwing up Time and Space even more when you help Dad get back…" She drew a skull on the chalk board.

"What does the skull represent?" Wolfwood asked.

Mary looked to Wolfwood. "Nothing, I just felt like drawing… Anyway, everyone follow me…" Mary walked out of the lab and everyone followed. They all ended up outside. Mary pointed up to the sky, which was turning pink. It had a very small purple dot in it. "I'd like to bring your attention to the sky… You see that purple dot in the sky? That is a gateway to our dimension…" She looked to her watch, which was counting down from an hour. It said 0:57:48, which is basically 0 hours, 57 minutes, and 48 seconds. "According to my watch's 'Climactic Final Countdown' mode, we have an hour before the gate opens and we are invading by all sorts of strange people, good and evil…"

"Shishio…" F. Vish hissed. Everyone except Vash and Mary were staring at him. "Oh, in case you didn't know, I am Vish from a post-apocalyptic future ruled over by Makoto Shishio with an iron fist… Guns are not allowed, but I retrieved dead Uncle Knives's gun and fought against him… So far, I've managed to put together a little rebellion. After my dad, the Legendary Vash the Stampede returned, people saw it as a sign and they regained the courage to fight. I stole a few other guns from the vault and now we are working on a way to defeat him. I came up with a plan to lure him into a Twinkie factory and over stuff him but Mom said that was a stupid idea and--"

A few minutes passed…

"--Anyway, I came here to see if I could help to change the future by fixing the past, but as young Aunt Mary said, it would seemed that I have maybe screwed you all over even worse, as now we only have less than an hour to prepare for some reason…"

Everyone else simply stood there, having a brain meltdown. Mary snapped out of it and glared at F. Vish. "And now we only have 45 minutes… That explanation was too friggin long, jackass…"

F. Vish frowned, a bit hurt. "Well sorry…"

Mary sighed. "Well, we don't have much time to prepare… What people should we be looking out for in our group currently?…"

F. Vish hummed. "Well let's see… Wolfwood would be the first to fall, dying tomorrow after facing off against Shishio, then we hide for a bit… Kaite and Sayuri go to fight him a few weeks later. Sayuri perishes, and Kaite loses his manhood…"

"What the hell?!" Sayuri screams.

F. Vish coughs, then continues. "12 years pass, I learn a few gunman skills from Kaite and my mother… I also learn machines from Aunt Mary… Uncle Gary is killed when he goes out to buy some milk, then Mary tries to get revenge and she dies… So finally, Kaite and I try to fight Shishio and Kaite somehow loses his hair… Depressed, Kaite dies a few days later after choking on a pretzel…"

"My poor Kaite!" Sayuri whines.

"So now, it's been 5 years. I am 17 years old now, and Mom, Milly, and myself have been in hiding. I trained, and put together a rebellion… And that's it…"

"Damn it, you wasted too much time again…" Mary scolded. "Now we only have 25 minutes…"

Vish stood there silently. After a few seconds, he finally spoke up. "Well shit…"

~~~

Meanwhile, in the year Universal Century 0087...

"Soooo…" Kaite began, looking at his outfit. He was wearing white and blue tights with some red and yellow stripes. "What's up with the jumpsuit?"

Bright Noa stepped up. "It's standard issue uniform… You don't like it, you can pilot naked for all I care…"

Kaite blinked. "Well, why can't I go back to my locker and wear my regular clothes?"

"THIS AIN'T NO GUNDAM WING!! I WILL NOT HAVE YOU FIGHT IN CIVILIAN CLOTHING!!!"

"Okay, okay!" Kaite said, waving his hands in front of him. "… And what the hell is Gundam Wing?…"

"It's a more recent series, filled with pretty boys and flashy Gundam fighting. Thanks to Bandai for dubbing the different series out of order, 1979's 'Mobile Suit Gundam' got aired after 1995's 'New Mobile Report Gundam Wing' became a phenomenon and the ratings sucked because of the dated animation… Hopefully, the same won't happen when they air the almost brand new series from 2002, 'Mobile Suit Gundam SEED' and then 1985's 'Mobile Suit Z Gundam'… Damn Alternate Universe series!!! Damn them all to hell!!"

"Um…" Kaite began, nervously. "I have no idea what you are talking about, but I'm gonna go prepare…" He turned around when he bumped into Amuro. "Um, hey…"

Amuro smiled. "Don't worry about Bright, Kaite… He's just angry that his role in Gundam ended with the movie 'Char's Counter Attack', and when they finally returned to the UC continuation, it was more than 100 years later…"

Kaite put a hand behind his head. "Um… I have no idea what the hell you just, but okay…"

"Anyway, if I were you I wouldn't complain about what you have to wear. Compared to what I had to wear when I first joined, that outfit actually looks cool…" Amuro laughed.

"Hey, wait… You're a Gundam pilot, aren't you? Why don't you have to wear this thing?" Kaite complained, waving his arms.

"Hey, you're the main pilot now, not me… Besides, I got promoted to 'Mentor'… All I have to do is stand here in a suit and look cool…" Amuro tugged on his green suit. "I'm mainly here for fan service for the old school fans."

"Um, riiight… Anyway, what does the 'L' in L Gundam mean, anyway?" Kaite asked, scratching his head.

"Oh, that?" Amuro smiled. "It means loser!"

"What?!" Kaite screamed out. "You mean I pilot the Mobile Suit Loser Gundam?!"

Amuro shrugs. "Hey, it wasn't my idea… Well, good luck in the battle Kaite! Hope you don't die!" Amuro then walked off.

Kaite gulped, then continued on his way to the Loser Gundam…

~~~

Back on Gunsmoke…

Meryl finished reloading her derringers. "Well, this is it…" She looked to her best friend. "Ready, Milly?…"

Milly picked up her huge Stun Gun with ease. "Yep!"

Wolfwood slung the Cross Punisher 3 over his shoulder. "Thanks for helping me upgrade this thing, Mary…"

Mary smiled slightly. "No problem…" She looked at her watch. "Uh oh… Showtime, guys…"

Vash looked at the black and purple sky. "Alright, everyone… No matter what, we stick through this… Together…" He and the others stared at the slowly growing purple hole. Vash gulped as demons, girls wearing almost nothing, cute animal-like creatures, swordsman, and all sorts of things came out of the portal. "Um, I think we're in trouble…"

~~~

Back in Universal Century 0087...

"So Bright…" Kaite began. "What are all of us fighting for?…"

Bright cleared his throat. "Well, it was originally part of a conflict called the One Year War, but recently we have been fighting over this…" Bright pulled something out of his pocket. It was the Seven Star Dragon Ball.

Kaite's eyes widened. "Sir?… Could I borrow that as a good luck charm?…"

Bright thought for a moment. "Sure, why not! Here you go!" Bright then handed the ball to Kaite. Kaite began to disappear in a blue glow. "What the hell?!"

"Ha ha! Seeya, suckers!" Kaite was then gone.

Bright blinked. "Interesting…"

Suddenly, a Zeon ship flew by. Someone was speaking through a communication system screen. "Earth Federation! Give up the shiny thing or die!"

Bright spoke to the captain of the Zeon ship. "We don't have it anymore!"

"Then prepare to be nuked several times over, Earth scum!"

"… Well, we're screwed… One last game of Twister?…"

Suddenly, the ship was being pulled into a growing purple hole…

~~~

Back on Gunsmoke…

Makoto Shishio stood victorious over the beaten anime characters. They were not dead yet, but Shishio would kill them eventually. "Heh heh heh… No one can stand up against me… It's a good thing the Battousai wasn't brought here as well, or I would have my hands full…"

Vegeta groaned. "This can't be… beaten by a mummy man?…"

Excel staggered up to her feet. "Hail… Lord Il Palazz…ow…" Excel fell back down to the ground.

Wolfwood peeked from behind a giant boulder. "So tell me why we are hiding behind this boulder instead of fighting?…"

F. Vish looked to Wolfwood. "Because, he is too strong! No one can beat him! If you try to shoot, he'll just block them with his sword! He's not human!"

"… Well while that is a very good point, I'd rather die fighting than hide for about a few years and eventually be hunted down anyway…"

F. Vish put on a sad face. "But…"

Milly squealed. "Eeeeeee!! He's so cute! He's like a younger, girly looking Vash but… he's not!" Milly pinched his cheek.

F. Vish blushed. "Girly?!"

Vash rubbed his chin. "Now that you think about it, he does look more girly than me… Must get it from Meryl…"

Meryl 'hmphed'. "Whatever… I think he's handsome young man, and I am glad that my son is going to turn out good looking…" She smiled at Vish. "Isn't dat wight, mista!"

Vish smiled and gurgled. "Goo…"

Meryl frowned. "It's a shame that he can't speak a word or walk yet, though… He's almost 2!"

Vash smiled. "Give it time, honey…"

Suddenly, Shishio popped up behind them. "Heeeeere's Shishi!"

Vash screamed like a girl. "Eeeek! AHHHHHHHHOHMYGODHE'SGONNAKILLUSHELPAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!" Vash then picked up Meryl, who was still carrying Vish, and ran.

Wolfwood coughed, then looked to the running Vash. "Yeah, way to look out for your friends!"

Milly giggled. "Well, you can't expect Mr. Vash to carry us all, can you?"

"Well yeah, but…"

Shishio growled. "Rar…"

Mary's eyes widened. "Good lord, why am I so frightened right now?…"

"I don't know, but whoever this guy is, he sure freaks me out…" Kaite said, arms crossed. He smiled. "Hey guys, what's up?"

"Kaite!" Sayuri yelled, pouncing Kaite and knocking him to the ground. "You're back! But why are you in those strange clothes?…"

Kaite smacked his forehead. "Damn, I knew I was forgetting something… I forgot my clothes in that strange place… That was a cool jacket, too…"

Shishio snarled. "Fear me!"

Mary blinked. "Oh of course… In all the confusion, we forgot about the crazy murderous mummy man… I say we run…"

Wolfwood nodded in agreement. "Let's…"

Everyone began running. They finally caught up with Vash, who at that point had put Meryl down to run for herself. Wolfwood took this opportunity to punch Vash in the back of the head, knocking him down to the ground.

"Ow!" Vash yelled as he got up from the sandy ground. "What was that for?!"

Wolfwood stared at Vash. "What do you think, needle noggin?! You basically just abandoned us back there! What happened to 'No matter what, we stick through this together', huh?!"

"I thought you were right behind me, I swear!"

"Vash, I'm sick of your crap, damn it!"

Milly couldn't take anymore. She yelled out. "Stop fighting!!"

Vash and Wolfwood looked to Milly. Wolfwood blushed. "I'm sorry… I'll stop fighting…"

Vash laughed nervously. "Yeah, me too…"

Milly smiled. "Good…" Her smile, however, quickly turned into a look of pain and shock.

The others stared in horror as Shishio's sword was sticking out of Milly's stomach. Blood was slowly staining the area on her clothes around her abdomen. He cruelly twisted the blade, the blood rushing out faster. Milly, unable to talk, coughed violently, and a rush of blood poured out of her mouth.

Wolfwood ran over to Shishio and Milly. "Bastard!! Stop that right now!"

Shishio smiled and pulled the blade out of Milly, and she fell to her knees, then fell face first into the sand. The only thing that had been holding her up was the sword. Shishio stepped back and watched her bleed in the sand.

"Milly, no!!!" Meryl screamed out, trying to run over to her fallen friend.

Vash held her back. "No, Meryl… It's too dangerous…"

"Milly!!!" Wolfwood screamed loudly. He rushed over to her. "Milly… Are you alright?!"

Milly, her pupils dilated, irises and skin pale, looked up to Wolfwood. "Ni…cky…"

"Please… Save your strength…" Wolfwood whispered. A tears ran down his cheeks.

"Nicky, I'm sorry… Goodbye…"

"Don't talk that way! We can get you help!" Wolfwood yelled. Milly no longer spoke. He gently set her body down, then looked to Shishio. "You… Bastard!! I'll kill you!!" Wolfwood ran towards Shishio, Cross Punisher ready to shoot. Shishio disappeared from his view. "What?!" Shishio appeared behind Wolfwood and swung his sword at Wolfwood's neck. Wolfwood quickly turned and blocked with the Cross Punisher.

Shishio smirked. "Interesting… You're able to move quickly with that hulking thing?… I underestimated your strength and speed…"

"Didn't you know?… I'm a priest, and this thing is filled with mercy…" Wolfwood hissed. His eyes widened as he swung at Shishio with his fist. "But none for YOU!!!" Wolfwood screamed as he hit Shishio directly in the face. Shishio went flying a few feet away. Wolfwood readied his Cross Punisher, ready to blow the mummy samurai away. Shishio quickly got up and ran towards Wolfwood. He lunged at the priest, his sword heading towards his stomach. Wolfwood managed to grab the blunt end. It was too late, though. The sword had sunk into his abdomen. He groaned, but gave Shishio a surprise head butt. Shishio went flying away again, this time without his sword. It was still in Wolfwood's gut. He pulled it out and fell backwards onto the ground, eyes closed. Vash ran over to him. "Wolfwood!! Don't die on us, too!! Unlike Milly and Knives, you won't be coming back!!"

Wolfwood opened his eyes. "…Could you be any louder? Anyway, relax… I'm just resting…" Wolfwood began to laugh.

Vash raised an eyebrow. "What's so funny?…"

"Y'know, I was so pissed off at Shishio, I totally forgot about the Dragon Balls… I got messed up over nothin'…"

"Heh… That is pretty funny… But rest up, friend… I'll take I from here…" Vash stood up and brought out his yellow tinted sunglasses. With a stern, serious look on his face, he put them on. He stood in front of Shishio, who had just got up.

"So, Vash… Are you angry that I killed your friend?…" Shishio said coldly.

"Milly… was the sweetest, most innocent woman I know… And although she's not gone forever, what you did to her is unforgivable… No has the right to take another's life, but when someone does something as cruel as what you did…" Vash drew his gun. "… something has to be done to make sure no one else gets hurt…"

"… Is that so?…" Shishio ran towards Vash and slashed at his gun, knocking it out of his hand.

"BWAGH?!" Vash screamed in surprise. He began running away. "Not again!"

Kaite ran over to the gun and picked it up. He ran over to Shishio and saw his future attack. He dodged it and tripped Shishio. He shot at the fallen samurai on the ground, who blocked with his sword. However, at being this close, the sword shattered. Pieces of metal flew into Shishio's eyes. He screamed in pain and rolled on the ground. "Agh, that hurts!!! Why would you do something like that?!"

Wolfwood yelled over to Vash. "Vash!! Grab the Cross Punisher and pushed the blue button!!"

Vash grab the huge cross on it and stared. There was a dark blue and light blue. "There are 2 blue buttons!! Oh well…" Vash pushed the dark blue button. A giant blue laser shot out and hit Shishio, completely disintegrating him. Vash's eyes widened.

Wolfwood coughed. "Um, Vash?… Which blue button did you push?"

"Dark blue… Why?"

"Well, light blue would send him back to where he came, but… Eh, this works…"

"That it does… He was going to spontaneously combust anyway…" a womanly looking man with a sword said.

Vash blinked. "Hey, aren't you?…"

The man nodded. "Himura Kenshin. This one is a rurouni… Anyway, I just came here to tell you that the dimensions are fixed…"

"… Then shouldn't you be going home?…"

"Oro?" Kenshin looked around and saw that almost all the others were gone and the portal was beginning to close. "Oro!! Goodbye!" Kenshin then ran in the direction of the portal.

Suddenly, the Great Will of the Macrocosm appeared. "Before I go, I will whisk everyone back to life and into their appropriate dimension… Here we go!" *Pwit! Bloop! Clang-Clang-Clang!*

~~~

A few hours later, everyone, including Gary and a revived Milly, were sitting in front of the Dragon Balls outside. They were in Old Augusta, where Knives had gone with the Trix Rabbit when he exploded. F. Vish had disappeared as a result of the timeline changing. That version of Vish no longer exists. Which is kind of sad, when you think about it… He went through all that, just to be erased… Oh well! Who wants ice cream?

Anyway, Milly had just summoned the dragon. "State your wish…" he bellowed. It's my poker night again…"

Milly smiled. "Hi! Could you please bring back Mr. Knives?"

"Okay, yeah sure… Whatever… it has been done…"

And so, the dragon left, the balls split up.

Vash: Ow!

Me: Shut up, you!

Anyway, Knives was now standing there. "Um, what the hell?… I was just minding my own business in psuedo-heaven being fed Spirit Trix, when I get sent here… Why did you revive me, damn it?! I liked it there!"

Vash coughed. "It's nice to see you too, Knives…"

Sayuri raised an eyebrow. "Psuedo-Heaven?… What's that?"

"It's basically King Enma's way of saying I'm too bad for Heaven, but he doesn't even want to think of what would happen in Hell, so he went through the trouble of creating me a new place…"

"… Oh… I see…"

Suddenly, Vish hopped out of Meryl's arms and walked over to Knives and hugged his leg. "Unky!"

Meryl gasped. "Oh my god, he walked! And talked! Sort of!"

Vash laughed. "Good job, Knives! Now can you get him to drive a car?" He joked.

Knives sweat dropped. "Ha ha…" He looked down at Vish and slightly smiled... Slightly…

~~~

And so, in another dimension…

F. Vish stands in a desert. He is facing off against Shishio. He turns to the 'camera'. "So, thought I was gone, right? Nope! It turns out this alternate reality was created, and now I'm about to royally kick Shishio's ass… The rest of the rebellion is resting… Now here I go!" Vish runs over and has his ass handed to him. "Ow… Maybe I should… Practice more…"

Better luck next time, Space Cowboy…

~~~

Next Episode!

Vash: Hey, guys! It's me, Vash! Next episode, Summer Vacation finally ends and it's back to school for the gang! Knives just wants to rest after all this, though, so he gets a sub to fill in for him as Math teacher!

Kaite: Eh, I don't like the looks of this guy…

Wolfwood: Well, whatever… I just hope the girls hormones are in check this time around… I keep running out of shirts.

Vash: Everything seems to go normal, but at the end of the day he makes us an offer that will change our already strange lives even more!

Milly: Well don't miss the next episode of The Random Adventures of Vash, "Back to School! The Mysterious Substitute!"

~~~

Ack, finally done…