Just A Couple of Pigeons

by Thyme In Her Eyes – ariadne@btopenworld.com

Author's Note: Chapter two! I hope I'll be able to keep up with this happy quick updater-y stuff...but my poor, unfinished school essays are crying themselves to sleep. Poor, neglected things. Hmm...this chapter feels a bit choppy to me, but bear with me. Once the ball starts rolling, the pace and frame of this work ought to pick up a bit. This is mostly a chapter for catching up with everyone and setting the scene for what's up ahead. I did intend to put more stuff into it but it too long a chapter as it is, so I've decided to break it down into two separate chapters. And about the Aurora Borealis thing, I just couldn't help myself. On a technical note for those who don't know, Dream Powder does exist within the game, and causes the sleep status-effect. It's my guess that maybe the FFVII folk could've used it as some sort of sleeping pill. ;)

-- JUST A COUPLE OF PIGEONS --

2. Rolling the Ball

I woke up one day a few months ago – from what I hear a really big portion of people did this as well, so it's no big achievement on my part, except for the fact that this particular day would change my life. You'd never be able to tell that from where I was right then, waking up, just like a normal person on a normal day (read: tired and grouchy). Chocobo-yellow sunshine was seeping through my eyelids. I woke up groggy, the effects of the mild Dream Powder I'd taken the night before sliding off, obsolete. I was awake again, feeling (beyond tiredness, I mean) vaguely expectant; anticipating good to come. I grabbed my wristwatch off the bedside cabinet and looked at it, my eyes all sleepy and bleary. It was 6:47 am. I groaned.

At first I didn't quite recognize where I was, exactly. The place, the feel of the room I was in wasn't familiar to me. I didn't panic, I was far too tired for that. So where was I? Slowly, my brain took in all the differences. The bed was smaller, narrower, harder. The ceiling; lower. The window was closer and the curtains were thinner – this made the morning light harsher. The winter chill had already settled in. It hit me a bit later than it probably should've – I was in my new home. I was still used to waking up in my old (wonderful, warm!) Midgar home, what I'd thought of when I first purchased it as the perfect home. In retrospect, it was too big, especially for just one man and his pet cat (he died a few weeks before I got involved in the Cait Sith project, which I'd named in his honour, something I never told my colleagues). The new place was the opposite, but then again compared to what I had, a lot of decent places would've seemed small, not I'm complaining any. It was all I had after the Meteor Crisis until the global situation improved and it was a good bit better than what a lot of other people had, so I was grateful for it. All I wanted was some paint.

It was November 23rd, only two short months and five days after the one-year anniversary of the Meteor Crisis, of what might've been our Final Day. The anniversary was an odd, hybrid thing: no-one knew what to do for it. A lot of people were grim and serious, taking the day to remember and mourn dead relatives, friends, and loved ones. The others thought it should be a day to be celebrated, that humanity should be overjoyed at being alive. To be honest, I didn't know how to act either – I kinda had leanings in both directions, but I try to be optimistic. I'd done what a lot of people in my situation did; I got in contact with my friends, met with some, went out, laughed and remembered at the same time. I'd had fun – we all had – but there was a lot of seriousness behind it. We were damn grateful to be alive but we knew that not every one of us was so lucky. Maybe I'll have a better idea about what to do for the anniversary next year.

I'd just had a dream about that last day, about hiding away in the Midgar slums, controlling Cait Sith and fighting with all that I had. And then the waiting. The aftermath, that was the worst part; when we all started to think that beating Sephiroth hadn't done the Planet any good. But in the end, we got lucky. What could well have been the beginning of the end was in fact the end of the beginning. I think everyone who lived through that final day, when Meteor almost hit, will remember it for the rest of their lives. I know I will. Senility won't be able to get that out of my memory bank, never. The part that'll never leave me is seeing the Lifestream first through Cait's cameras and then looking outside and seeing it; green, spiraling and brilliant. I was sure I could hear voices, endless voices. The sense of hope and the sense of strength that came with seeing the countless green tendrils help Holy was incredible. Then the blinding light came...and afterwards realizing that we were all still there. After taking about ten minutes to take it all in, I cried from relief.

The strangest thing was afterwards, after Meteor was destroyed. Everything was dark, but serene. Tiny little dots of blue-green energy rained slowly and gently from an unscarred sky. Everyone wandered outside to watch them fall from the sky, almost like snowflakes. They were warm to the touch and every time I touched one, I heard a faint whisper: We come back. Crazy, but true. It wasn't just me, others were hearing it too, gentle whispers of We come back. We come back.

I'd never really dreamt about it before, at least not in so much detail. When I forced myself out of bed, the cold hitting my footsoles like a slap, I just thought to myself again and again: I made it. It's actually a quite good morning mantra, thinking about it. It can't hurt to wake up feeling relieved and amazed. But I felt nostalgic too. I hadn't totally realised until right then how much I missed the adventuring, and the friends I'd made.

----- ----- ----- -----

I was up early and out the door, walking to my Junon office. I hoped the day would go by quickly, because (can't say if this is due to the memory or something I ate) I wasn't feeling too good. Not exactly ill, but not exactly well either (I hate feeling like that). Besides, I'd planned to meet Cloud and Tifa later in the evening, too so all the more reason to hope the day doesn't drag.

These mornings, I'd gotten into a habit of having a brief conversation with the old lady who lodged in the home next to mine, usually about the weather and our families, and how she thinks that I ought to marry her daughter, but these past few weeks I hadn't seen her. She said her daughter had steadily broken down after the Crisis, and so she had gone to live with her and care her. She was a nice lady, and I wished that there was something that I could've done to help.

The best I'd done for anyone mentally was setting up meetings between Tifa and Dr. Casement, a former Shinra employee. I'll explain – Dr Casement worked as a psychiatrist for us high-level Shinra execs. After the Nibelheim incident (you see, I'm still glossing over things – I won't say massacre, just incident, it's practically second nature) attending interviews with him became a Shinra Electric Power Company policy. It was a mandatory thing for all of us; myself, Heidegger, Scarlet, Palmer, even Rufus before he became President, and occasionally some members of the Turks. We all had to go once a month to his office for an interview, so that he could report whether or not we were healthy enough upstairs to continue in such high positions, that the probable stress wasn't getting to us. He was well-paid and well-bribed a lot of the time by some executives who didn't want to take the risk (Hojo never bothered with bribery; that guy could emulate perfect sanity and reason when it suited him). Even though he knew when to accept a bribe and let someone possibly unstable carry on working, the doctor was still very good at his job.

But after the Crisis and the fall of Shinra, he was out of work and – like the rest of us – his financial assets were frozen. So when Tifa (now officially called Elinor Sontag, thanks to my memoir, but we all still call her Tifa) mentioned that she was looking a proper counselor because she wanted to work through some of her issues and traumas from the past, I recommended him. He's very good, very quiet about things and is used to discussing some highly unlikely and fantastical situations. He can deal with people that have been through the absolute worst. So, I managed to get in contact with him and he became Tifa's psychiatrist. He doesn't get paid anything close to what he's used to, of course, but it's something everyone's had to live with – at least he still has a job. And from what I hear from Tifa, their meetings are going really well. It makes me happy to know that she's dealing with things, that she's getting on with living and coping. I hope I'd be able to pick myself up like that if I had her past.

----- ----- ----- -----

On the way to my office, I pass a flea market every day on my route there. It wasn't there before; it's a direct result of the Crisis, set up by residents of the shanty-town outside the main city (another direct result of the Crisis). Any way to make some money.

I usually stop by and look in on it every other day. I don't know why – I never buy anything. Well, rarely. I feel bad about buying nothing, about looking at and leaving things, possessions people were forced to give up. It wouldn't be too much trouble for me to buy a little something now and then, to help someone out a little, do what I can for them. I never do, though. The stuff they sell – it's mostly junk, you see.

Then why do I go in? I'm seeing. I'm checking on what's in the world, what's left. What's discarded, or no longer cherished. What had to be sacrificed. What someone thought might interest someone else. But it's rubbish, already sifted through and rejected by half a dozen people before me. But I always stay to look at some things, to pick some up. Some things are grimy, badly patched or not at all.

I'm forever losing track of time there. I look, I stray and I always believe that I've got enough time to spare. But it always takes more time than I think and I end up annoyed with myself.

So why do I spend time there – what am I looking for? Who knows; there might be something valuable there. Not valuable, exactly. Something I would want. One of these days I could get lucky. There might be something I would want in there somewhere, something I want to rescue. Something that speaks to me.

It's shrinking thought, the flea market. I'm sure I remembered there being more sellers here yesterday. I just thought to myself that maybe a lot of them got lucky, and made a big sale.

----- ----- ----- -----

After the Crisis, we all went our separate ways, we all decided to do different things with our lives. Some of us stayed together, some haven't stuck together. I kinda wish that we could've. It's so strange to think that the group I was prepared to turn over to justice only just over a year ago became the closest friends I'd ever had. It really gets to sometimes – we've never all been in the same room together since then. I don't even see all of them as much as maybe I'd like to; we've drifted apart from the close-knit group we used to be. It's a crying shame but I suppose everyone has to rebuild their lives in different ways. We can't all have what we had on that adventure. It's funny that I was always a bit of an outsider during the whole thing, but I'm the one that misses it all the most, that would like for everyone to meet up together sometime. Never thought I'd end up missing them all. Ha, maybe I just miss being allowed to be a goof!

It's probably something like that. I miss good 'ol Cait Sith. Working with the Cait Sith robot, I got to really realize that I could be a cheerful, upbeat and funny guy. After all, my angle for getting into the group was by posing as a fortune-telling cat, so that speaks for itself, right? Working with Shinra hadn't helped that side of me to flourish (instead I think it gave me a caffeine addiction). It was really healthy, being that cheery so much of the time, without worrying about what someone might think. Hey, but I'm happy now so things have worked out okay.

Everyone settled down after the Crisis. Cloud and Tifa settled together nearby Kalm. Tifa has a steady job at a restaurant there (that bothers me – she helped save the world and now all she can do for a living is work in a restaurant; it's not fair sometimes) and has a lot of affiliations with local charity programs. Cloud, is going through the whole educational system again (we managed to get the schools going again pretty quickly, which is a heaven-sent piece of good fortune), and he does a bit of work at the local chocobo-ranch on the side. He wants to be a scientist one day.

I guess it's their choice, they could've decided to breed and race chocobos for a living and stay in Cloud's fancy Costa del Sol villa, but they didn't want that. They said that they just wanted things to be normal. The two of them keep in pretty regular contact with me. The pair got closer and closer (I guess you can fall in love even when you're falling apart) and I think it's pretty safe to say that they're officially an item, even though they don't like to make any huge fuss about the fact. They don't want everyone thinking that it's all marriage and babies from here on. They're just getting on with living and they're doing it together – the rest of us couldn't be happier for the two of them.

Red XIII returned to Cosmo Canyon where he lives peacefully. I like to visit him when I can. We have good conversations. Also, I've rediscovered a lost love for the area. I went there a lot when I was younger, before I got too deeply involved in Shinra and when I traveled there again using Cait Sith's robotic body, it all came back to me. I'd forgotten how much I loved the place.

I see Barret a lot – he's involved in politics in Corel, which is something of a rising power now, so I hear a lot from him. There's no love lost between us, to put it mildly, but I want to try and patch things up. Sometimes I still privately question his version of events. We'll never see eye to eye but it's all over now and we all have to just carry on and I don't see how holding grudges is gonna help with that, it's not going to bring people back from the dead. I have my opinions and he's got his. And they'll never match. Except that we both want things to get better this time round. I see Marlene every now and then too, for countless rematches of thumb-war and drawing competitions (it's never fair – she always gets the better crayons).

Vincent characteristically vanished without a trace. If he mentioned to anyone where he was going, it sure wasn't me. We've even heard more from the Turks than we have from him. He's out there somewhere, but it's sad to think that none of us have heard from him. Cloud thinks that he might be dead, but I doubt it. Or maybe I'm just hoping too much. Nah, I'll bet that he's wandering around the Great Outdoors for whatever reasons he has.

We all gave our Materia to Yuffie except for a few pieces (in case of emergencies). She returned to Wutai, originally with the intention of helping it reclaim its independence but she soon got bored of all the politics behind it and left it to her father, while she went off adventuring around the world. I envy her sometimes. But she drops by every now and then, even though it's usually to see Cloud or Tifa and we catch up about things, what she's been up to. She could tell you some stories... Actually, she's a real good storyteller. Seriously. She's better than I am. Can't imagine why she doesn't use her gift for anything.

I haven't seen too much of Cid, seeing as I've never had much time to visit someplace as far away as Rocket Town, but I've kept in contact using letters. Nowadays, I'd really like to meet up with him and talk, because of his new calling in life and all. You see, after he got back from the adventure he made a lot of changes to his life. Some surprising changes, I gotta say. First off, he ranted at us about how Sephiroth hadn't killed him and he'd be damned if his cigarettes were and quit smoking. Secondly, they don't call him Captain Cid in Rocket Town no more. Nope; these days they call him Reverend Highwind (I don't know if he's a proper rector yet, but they call him that all the same). That's right – after Meteor, he turned to religion and dedicated his life to it. He'd descended from the skies and the brink of death full of belief in life and religious zeal. Oh, he still goes flying whenever he can and I understand that him an' Shera are dating now, but he's turned his life around. I think he follows a faith more based on God-worship than what they teach in Cosmo Canyon but he believes utterly.

The Crisis had that effect on a lot of people, making them believe again. Personally, I believed far, far more than I had before (or at least, I was willing to make a massive leap of faith) even though I knew less than I know now. Heck, we all saw Lifestream rise up and stop Meteor. I hadn't really believed the truth about Mako until our adventure (truth is, I didn't want to think about it) and now I know that this means we've all committed terrible crimes by using Mako, that we've destroyed the souls of the dead and nearly killed the Planet. At least it proved the truth behind the Cosmo spiritualism, that there was more beyond death. That's why a lot of people turned back. In the Shinra era, spiritualism had been reduced to products (self-help books, celebrity meditation videos and a lot of paraphernalia to do with Wutaian beliefs), but now things are more honest. People want to learn the answers, to find them; they don't want the answers sold to them. Of course, not everyone's a convert; a huge amount of people lost their faith after Meteor. I don't think nihilism has ever been more popular.

I'm not sure what exactly turned Cid towards religion but I'm glad that he's happy with his new life. I haven't seen any of his sermons, but I'd really like to. I hear that he delivers them with ex-pilot homilies, that he thumps and swishes his arm when pressing a point, and that he seems to have no doubt at all. Personally, I'm amazed. Amazed, and proud and kinda happy to hear it. Like I said, I'd love to talk religion with him now.

Gosh, I've been ranting on and on about them. I must really miss them. You know, I think it's been too long. Way too long.

We all missed Aeris. When I think about things that way, I feel really selfish. Especially considering the things have turned out. But this is now, back then, back on lucky November 23rd I just missed her. Maybe not as much as the others, because I hadn't known her as well or as long but she'd been special to me too, in her own way. I didn't totally realise how much I missed her 'till I started writing the memoir – it made me feel real proud to have known her, but it was a bit depressing all the same, that I couldn't have gotten to know her better. We all missed her. Just like we knew that she deserved to be here.

As you would have it, destiny wasn't quite done with Aeris Gainsbrough yet.

----- ----- ----- -----

And what about me? What have I been doing with my life since the Crisis, at least up to that point? It's difficult to say; I hadn't really found my proper place yet. A part of me just wanted to move on privately, like the others but I knew that I had a responsibility. That's not the best way of putting it. It's better to say that I knew that I was in a position to help and I knew that deep down, I wanted to use it the best I could. I just didn't know how far I wanted to go with it. Besides, someone needed to order every Mako reactor shut down and it needed to be done as soon as possible. That's where I fit in.

Shinra may be gone, but its employees aren't. I'm still here, aren't I? And so are many, many others. We still have some of Shinra's resources and (surprisingly) the chain of power hasn't changed that much. It was so strange...people just came back to work. People jumped at the chance for a job. In terms of finances and economy, we've all seen better days, but it's a start. The biggest step was getting a source of power out to everyone who relied on Shinra for everything; we've reverted to other methods of power, like using old-fashioned electricity, the kind available before the advantages of Mako were discovered. It's not as abundant or as powerful as Mako, but it's the right thing to do. Now we need to find better ways of getting it to the ones who need it. And some folks still hate me with the fire of a thousand burning suns for ordering every Mako reactor on the Planet shut down. It had to be done, no matter what the cost. But hey, when we meet up in the Lifestream, I guess they'll thank me.

Things are tricky – I care about the Planet, but I care about the people too. But I know where Shinra went wrong (I'll never say that this justifies everything Avalanche did, but I know that their intentions were good at least). But there's a lot of mending to do. Shinra hid so much of its activities from the public. The lives of innocent people didn't matter to them (I know that now – everyone's denial has a timer). People were offered paraphernalia instead of a path, entertainment rather than thought, tidiness rather than order. They gave hard questions easy answers. Objections were overcome with insistence, then force. Opinions difficult to accept were continually repeated. Every complex issue was simplified. I can't say that I thought of it in terms of right and wrong back then, just the way things were. And then, after Meteor, everything changed.

At first, things were crazy everywhere. There was no government, no-one to be accountable to. People did what they wanted. There were robberies, murders, riots...you name it. There was no-one to stop anyone for taking what they wanted. I don't mean that everyone acted like this but after Meteor and the power-scare, people became frantic and frightened. A lot was lost because of the Crisis – homes, jobs, loved ones, health...things got very bad. And bad things happened. Then the military got involved, the Shinra Army, still intact, and things went from bad to worse. Major cities were put under martial law. But different organizations and political groups were forming all over the world shortly, looking for a way to better the situation and we managed to stop things before they got out of hand. The major cities are no longer occupied, but there's an impressive military presence especially here in Junon. It's the smaller cities under martial law that are difficult to help right now. But slowly, we're re-introducing the idea of a government and we're making a lot of promises to the people that this time, we'll be a good government. It's a promise I intend to keep.

We've got something of a makeshift headquarters set up in Junon, but things after were still hectic. We couldn't afford everything we wanted for it and we didn't have other means of getting all the necessaries either. And we have to live where we can – being a part of a growing organization doesn't mean that we can live high-powered lives in fine condos, not anymore. I'm kind of glad about that, I get the feeling that going back to my old lifestyle would make me feel queasy, deep down, while everyone else struggled. Now, we all struggle together. And for some twisted reason, I get some sort of satisfaction out of that. I have a small, cramped home (lower plate and all) next to a lady who's lived in Junon all her life. And I'm happy. I feel like I'm doing something to help people and it made me really happy and I think that's when I realized that back with Shinra, I didn't feel that way. I just felt like I was struggling uphill or fighting against the inevitable. Now, things are different. Or maybe I should say then things were different and now things are upside-down (still cheery, though).

We started organizing things, making affiliations. Every world power is rising right now – not one is ahead of the other. I guess the next dominant force will show itself over the next five years. At least, no matter what happens, things'll be better than Shinra. I don't know how far this company is going to rise – right now we're a small company, nowhere near Shinra in influence or power and personally, I like it like that. I can't say that I'm comfy with the idea with giving one corporation as much power and control as Shinra had. I don't know how much I want to be involved in this company either – I want to use all that's left of my Shinra status to try and rebuild all that we've lost, but I don't want to be the face of any company, either. Let's say we'll never be seeing any Reeve for President posters circulating. That idea just plain scares me.

But I'm doing what I can; it's what I believe in, after all. Society is learning, humanity is learning. We're all learning and we all want to do a better job this time round and not repeat any mistakes. And you know what? I think we're going to do okay. The world and everyone in it just isn't the same, we've all had a massive eye-opener after Meteor. Before, society was competitive, poisoned and overcrowded. I can't say that everything's all sweetness and light now because human nature has still got all its downsides and pitfalls but I think we're doing better. Maybe the only sphere of authenticity isn't the personal realm any more. Every political power out there is honest about at least one thing: we all want things to get better.

We've still got a long way to go, though. From Junon to Midgar, there's dozens of shanty-towns, filled with refugees from Midgar and from other cities after the post-Meteor rioting and anarchy. Life still isn't fair for everyone and maybe it's never going to be. But we gotta keep hoping. There's no such thing as neverending tragedy, so things'll start looking up sooner or later, so long as we all try to do the right thing.

----- ----- ----- -----

Sometimes I wonder about the Meteor Crisis, whenever I think back and remember. I thought about as I walked through the streets of Junon, looking up at the sky. I wondered how it would look at night. Ever since the Crisis, the sky hasn't been the same. Streams and veils of light hang in the sky, like a river, billowing out or blowing sideways. When we wandering across the Northern Continent, we saw something like this in the sky, but the colouring was different – it was mostly green and rose. This was blue and red, running into and against each other. No-one knew where it came from, but we all guessed the same. I think a scientist (called Aurora Borealis, I think) is doing some research into the phenomena.

Wondering about it brought my mind back to Meteor again. Can't say it's fun thinking about it but I can't exactly help it.

One view of the catastrophe: this has happened and who would've thought it? Who on earth could have expected such a thing? Who could ever have imagined it? Not me. Never, never. No one could've expected something like this to happen to us. No one. It's the worst. And if the worst, then unique. Which means unrepeatable. That's what I wanted to think forever and ever. Let's put it behind us and move on. Let's not be doomsayers.

The other view: unique for now. After all, what happens once can happen again, like a volcano eruption. To be sure, we may have to wait a long time but what if?

Depressing thoughts, but today I couldn't get it out of my head. It rattled me, so I couldn't forget it. I sure hope that time doesn't prove me right. I wasn't certain then, but now I believe that it won't, that we can stop it. The Planet is settled and life goes on. I don't want to worry about things like that anymore. I'll just hope for the best. She wouldn't want me to worry about these things.

----- ----- ----- -----

I got to my office and that was the start of the day when everything started changing (I'll have to tell you more about the folks there, too). Did I mention earlier why November 23rd was the day that changed my life? No, I don't think so. I'm scrambling back across a few pages and I don't think I've mentioned the why. I better mention it then.

November 23rd was the day I first heard about the Wise-Woman.