A/N: Well… I'm proud of this chapter, even if it does kinda suck. The whole thing is weird, really. So, yeah… Nothin' to say really, I don't know what's in the next chapter. This is an odd one though. The nightly broom ride will come in handy, and so will the reasoning for Harry just 'happening' to be in the halls when she was.
Life of my own

Kiss me while I'm still alive
Kill me while I kiss the sky
Let me die on my own terms,
Let me live and let me learn

Three Doors Down
Chapter 16
The week passes quickly for each of them. Harry had lifted Hermione up to a place she thought she'd never reach with a man. She was happy where ever she went. Everyone was happy around her, except Draco. He had been oddly silent since the first night. Many times she had caught him staring at her in meals, but other then that, he ignored her.
Potions were a dreaded class for her. She knew how much Snape enjoyed pairing her up with him. She hated working with Draco, but only because it was her who did all the work. She also hated how he was silent around her. He was always gone, and she heard Pansy gossiping that he was always with her, because he wasn't at the common room. She didn't mind that she was talking about her, what it implied, or anything. What mattered to her, was where he was going. There were only so many friends of Draco Malfoy, and so far it seemed none were with him.
So she decided to follow him. She didn't know what to expect, but on the fourth night, curiosity overwhelmed her as she followed him through the dark corridors. She had borrowed Harry's cloak to 'work on an assignment' without the commotion.
He walked swiftly, his long legs taking him up the stairs. When he stopped finally, she was already panting. Books and quiz scores wouldn't help her get into the kind of shape he was in. Leaning against the wall, she watched as he opened a compartment, taking out a broomstick. The shine on it showed it to be new, but the bristles were ragged, from use most likely. Sighing to himself, he jumps on the broom, stepping to the window.
Hermione shivered, watching as he jumped out, hearing the swish as his broom and him shot upward. So this was where he had been, in the tower, flying. That's why Harry was having such a hard time defeating him in quidditch. He'd been getting in extra flying practice.
She huddled up next to the wall, already shivering. When only a few minutes had passed, she yawned, looking through bleary eyes at the window, waiting for him to return. She must have drifted, for she awoke to sounds of voices. Taking a look through the shiny cloth, she sees Snape and Draco.
"Your father will not take no for an answer." Snape voice was low, blank of any emotion.
"I don't care. Severus, I can't stand to have anything to do with him."
"What's your real reason Draco? Everyone knows you hate mudbloods just as much as rumored."
Draco shrugged, "I'm not sure anymore… Everything changed, after that meeting…"
Snape laughed lowly, "What, don't you like watching men rape and kill women? Watch men struggle, scream and cry for defying your lord?"
"He's not my lord." Draco whispered. A fire of fury was building in his eyes.
"He might be the one who kills you. Your father wants on his good side. He'll do anything to get on it."
"It's not me I'm worried about."
Snape raised an eyebrow; "You can't save her. You know your father. He wants her dead. I assume the dreams have reached you by now? You know the ritual. It'll bring your lord to his reign again. No more snake…"
"Why did he give her the dreams? She shouldn't know…"
"She has to."
"No she doesn't."
"Draco, your father wants her scared. The more the victim is afraid, the more powerful the potion." He stated bluntly, as though reading from a book.
Draco turns, looking out the window. "You can go."
Snape sighs, "I warned you not to attach yourself."
"I won't let her die."
Snape turns on his heel and walks out, grumbling to himself. Something about young stupid love. Hermione stayed still, watching as Draco stood next to the window, taking a step up onto the edge. For some reason she expected him to break into song, but instead, he started talking, "You'll never be able to save her…" He repeats blankly, looking down. He slipped a foot closer to the edge, breathing. "Should I leave a note?" He asks himself bluntly.
She trembled more. She didn't want him to jump, but if he did… If he did there'd be no more Draco to worry about. But then there'd be sleepless nights, wondering what kind or relationship they had. Who the woman was that they talked about. She figured it was her, but she couldn't see her death any time soon.
She finally stood up, the cloak dropping, "Draco…" She doesn't even wait for him to turn before taking a step back towards the door. She didn't know if she'd be needing to run or not, but she wanted a way out if she needed to.
He turned slowly, looking at her with surprise lining his vision, "Thought I heard you." He looked out the window again, spitting and watching it fall. God he was scared. Not that he'd admit it though.
She whined lowly, she couldn't decide what to do. Whether to just walk off, or try and stop him from what he was doing. Before she could decide though, he started talking, in little more then a whisper, "I come here every night… Like to fly in the stars, all alone… Nothing to worry about… Only trees, and sky… I don't want to hurt people any more… I don't think. I'm not sure… I'm so fucking scared of myself, Granger. When I look in the mirror, I see my father. And that above all scares me. I don't want to be him. He's not the man I knew when I was younger. The man who raised me. When my mother got sick though, for him neglecting his post… Everything changed. He took more pleasure in my pain. Would do anything to appease her… I don't want you to see this… You should leave now."
Hermione stood still, trembling. "Draco, you shouldn't."
"I should Granger." So the feeling was mutual, or so it seemed.
"Why? Let him win?" She forced some steel into her words, trying to appear stronger then she felt. Her legs were like jelly as she forced a smirk, "Real Malfoy streak there."
He almost moved towards her, but instead his leg twitched, wanting to move towards her. He wanted to sweep her up in his arms and kiss her, just for those words. Her words meant more to him then anything else. Still though, she'd end up hurt for his mistakes, he couldn't show affection towards her at all. He shook his head; "He'll win in the end. I'd rather die now, then face pain worse then death later."
"Draco, please."
He cuts her off, "Go away, you fucking whore." His mouth was dry as he continued, "Go back to Harry, he'll use you how you want. Didn't you hear me? Get!" He swallowed hard, trying to keep his posture.
Hermione's lip quivered as she stood up straighter, "I actually thought for a minute you gave a damn Draco. Guess I expected too much." With that she turned, the cloak flaring behind her as she practically ran out of the room. He could hear her crying already.
He looked out the window, the emotions stacking. He couldn't love her. He didn't. He wouldn't. He took a step down, away from the windowsill, standing near it though.
The moon hung silently, watching as the two youths fought. The moon personally couldn't understand the problem. They both loved each other, or so it seemed, so why not just kiss and make up? The ones before them had. The other man with white hair and the woman with the golden locks, so many years ago…
Hermione ran back to her quarters. Taking a deep breath, she looks at the portrait, leaning against the other wall. Sliding down it, she's consumed by sobs. Hearing footsteps, she hides her head in her hands. She couldn't face anyone now. And if they knew their Head Girl was sneaking out, what would they think? She felt a hand on her shoulder, and as she looked up, she saw Harry's concerned eyes looking at her, "'Mione?" In a flash he was holding her close to him, lifting her up and off the ground, hiding her from her thoughts.
"I-I-didn't know what to do… I didn't know if I could stop him… And he yelled-at me. I don't know why, I knew-I know he hates me, but why? He didn't before I mentioned you…"
Harry was confused, but the portrait wasn't. It opened silently, the girl and boy walking in, awkwardly due to the fact that Hermione was clinging to Harry with such strength, that he couldn't remove her until he placed her on her bed quietly. Watching her as she pulled off her shoes, sobbing in between words, he placed a finger over her lips. "'Mione, it's okay. I'm here now…"
She nodded, down to only her shirt and underwear. Harry passed her pajama bottoms to her, silent as she slipped them on. Her bottom lip was still trembling as he tucked her in. "Are you all right now?"
When she nodded, he stood, planning to leave. When he turned though, he heard her small whine. Looking at her, he listened to her small whispering, "Harry-will you stay here tonight?"
Harry sighed. He'd been afraid she'd ask this. Reluctantly he nodded. Taking off his shoes, he slipped into the bed beside her. Still clothed, and on the blankets, he figured he'd be safe from any urges. He was tired, and didn't feel like being an ass right now. Nudging her nose with his, he kisses her gently, "I love you, and nothing will ever change that."
"Promise?" She asks.
He nods, "Always." So what, he could stretch the truth. If it meant he got more alone time with her.
She grins slightly, snuggling up to him, feeling his arm wrapped around her. Never did the thought of telling Harry about what had happened cross her mind. Nor did she hear the silent leaving of him when she had fallen asleep.
Her sleep was not dreamless, not at all. But not nearly as bad as she had expected.
He fell. A person in cloak watching as he fell; fell so far and fast, before she could even scream, he had hit. The solid thud of him meeting the ground shaking her. She trembled in the corner, watching the hooded figure pull back its hood. The skull grinned at her, laughing. "He's gone!"
She had entered the hall the next morning with the bad vibes going already. Kids were whispering and pointing at her, and casting other odd looks at her. She didn't see Draco at all. But when she saw Harry, he looked concerned. He took her elbow, leading her through the place to their corner in the back.
As Dumbledore stood, he stared not out into the crowd, but at her. Snape walked by her, up the aisle, and tapped her shoulder; "Dumbledore would like to see you after breakfast."
She shivered as each word hit home. He wanted to see her? Why though?
"Students… I have some very-ah-disappointing news. Last night, while Hagrid was patrolling the grounds, he found a young man… He had apparently fell from the tower, and he wasn't doing very well. He's in the hospital wing now, and we are hoping he'll pull through. I call this to your attention not to threaten you, but to inform you of what was found in the tower. In the tower, next to the window, was the signature of Konami. As you know, Konami was one of Voldemort's most loyal servants. He dropped out of sight over the last years, but he had returned. The tower is off limits, as he left powerful traps there, which as always were his signature." He paused, and as he did so, a Ravenclaw called out, "Who was it?"
Mumbles passed through the hall as Dumbledore announced solemnly, "Our dear Mr. Malfoy."
The Slytherins smacked their fists on the table, many calling out, "That's a lie!"
After silencing them, Dumbledore looked at them in slight amusement. "Yes, as it seemed he's the man you all expect to succeed the Lord himself, I'm sure you're all confused as to why one of his servants would push him out the window?" Cold furry burned in his eyes, as Hermione had never seen before. "That is the way of your world, am I wrong on this?"
The hall went dead silent as many gaped at him. Never had Dumbledore openly spoke of He-who-must-not-be-named. McGonagall had her cup held before her lips as she froze, also looking on in wonder.
Dumbledore continued, "You are all to be lead to your rooms by your prefects. Head Girl will accompany any who wish to study." He paused, eyes burning into her, "But I must meet with her first, as she knows." With that, he sat down, the hall exploding with noise as everyone started talking at once. "Do you think Konami meant to?" "I can't believe he's back!" "Maybe he jumped!" "Draco's not that stupid." "Yeah he is."
Hermione stood up, walking out, Harry watching her. She knew something. Something had happened, and he was still left clueless. She ran out as fast as she could, running into the bathroom to release what little she had eaten. Without warning, a hand clamped over her mouth before she could even turn. Struggling to kick the intruder, she fights against the long arms encircling her. The arms jerk her around, and she's suddenly staring into the face of a pained looking Troy. Choking, she looked up at him.
"What did you do to him?"
"I-I-don't know what you're talking about." She stuttered, trembling at his touch.
"Liar! I'm not stupid. He mumbled something about you, and here you are." His hand crept up her hand, holding her wrist tightly, bending it in a way she was positive it wasn't meant to bend.
"I didn't do anything, I swear, please, just leave me alone…" The days events put together with last night were too much as she sank onto the ground, sobbing without cease, "Please…"
He kicked her leg, disgusted, "How could he have an interest in you?" Turning sharply, he stormed out, grumbling under his breath.
Troy had always been her enemy. He was the only person in all of Hogwarts to be held back. They didn't trust him with his abilities, and so they tried to contain him in the school. He was already 20, and still trying to pass. The only thing he got good marks in was potions. But every Slytherin did.
And of course, he figured he'd take out pent up anger on her, the smartest in the school. You'd think they could relate, learn from each other, but no, he had to be the ass all Slytherins were and hate her. Well, Pansy was too stupid to be an ass, really.
Stumbling up, she looks in the mirror over the sink, staring at her reflection. Since when did she have so many bags under her eyes? Wiping her eyes, and splashing her face with cold water, she straightens herself, walking to Dumbledore's office. Walking in, she sat, not bothering to look at the stone faced man behind the desk.
"I assume you know why I called you to talk."
She shakes her head. Better play stupid…
He sighs, "When we found Draco, he wouldn't stop saying your name. He also repeatedly screamed 'no.'"
She started trembling; "I don't know why he'd do that."
He stood up, stroking Fawkes, who was now molting. "The spell that Konami used preserved a fragment of every person who had entered the room in the last twenty minutes. It was you, Snape, and Draco. Draco's fragment was smaller then yours and Snape's. We're assuming this means that his presence was less impacting on the rooms state." He stops, looking at her, "So you see, you were there. But the question that remains, is why?"
She started stuttering, "I-I was following him. I-I want-wanted to know. Know where he was going every night…"
"So you followed him… and…?" He asked benevolently.
"And-and he went up to the tower, and got on a broom… I fell asleep while he was riding I guess, 'cause when I woke up, him and Snape were talking about something."
Dumbledore raised his hand; "I don't need you to tell me about what they were saying. Severus already informed me."
She nodded, accepting this, "After Snape left, I watched him as he stood on the windowsill… I was afraid he was going to jump, so I stood up to him. He-he insulted me. He yelled, so I ran. I hated him…" She hid her face in her hands, as she had done which seemed to be years ago.
Dumbledore sighed, leaning his hands on the desk. "You saw no one else, and returned to your quarters?"
She tremblingly gave an agreement, trying not to cry.
Dumbledore breathed calmly, his eyes shining again, not angry at all. "You best go see him. He wants to I'm sure."
She stands, nodding. Anything to get out of this room. Walking on wobbly legs, she trudges up to the hospital wing, dreading what she'd see when she got there finally.
Taking slow cautious steps, she looks in at the bed. Draco laid there peacefully, bruises obvious on his arms and neck. She reached out, her hand tracing the gentle curve of his face.
"I'm sorry…" she whispers quietly, a tear tracing her cheek. "I never should've followed you…" She didn't know why she was crying. She knew she shouldn't. She knew he wasn't worth her tears. But for some reason she felt compelled to do so. If she had just insisted that he had came with her. Maybe if she'd done something differently, he wouldn't be like this. She hated him, but she couldn't hate anyone to the point of wishing them harm in any serious ways. Her hand trailed away, leaving his face still cold and scared looking to her almost.
"I'm sorry…" She whispers again, walking out, her head pounding with questions to which she wasn't sure how to get the answers to.
He had stood quietly. He didn't want to hurt her, but he had to get her away from him. He couldn't contain himself anymore. His thoughts were so filled of her; he couldn't sort things out from her. Everything was her.
He heard someone returning. Instantly, he turned, prepared to yell at her again, if only it meant she'd let him think. But it hadn't been her. It had been a man he knew only from his father's encounters. Of the stories his father told of the hooded man who killed those known to be unfaithful. Of course, he was faithful to him. No one knew of his thoughts. No one knew of the feelings he held so contained inside himself for a certain girl.
He nodded to the man. He cared not about what the man did to him. All he cared about was why he was here. If someone was onto him, good for them. He had his thoughts, and if he wasn't alive, he couldn't kill her. Of course, someone else could, but he'd be dead, so why would it matter to him?
He looked back at the stranger again. His name was well known through the wizarding world. He was Voldemort's most loyal servant, the one the others strive to become. To take his place in their lord's eyes. None succeeded. If they came close, he disposed of them. Easily, always in secret.
Draco was not scared of this man. He was but a man, and he was loyal. As far as anyone was concerned. The man raised his hand, speaking in a low scratchy voice,
"Love her,
Keep her safe.
You cannot compete,
For her life is near complete.
She will die soon,
As will you."
With that, he was suddenly falling… Falling fast, and seeing the stars streaming above them. He didn't scream. He refused to give him that satisfaction. He refused to let him know how much those words scared him. How they buried themselves under his skin and beat into his head.
He pictured her. He knew he was falling quickly, but how did one think of so many things in so little time? He didn't know how. He didn't care. He knew when he hit he'd die. And it'd all be over before it had even started. Just as his father had said many great plans had gone. Started, but never finished.
He thought about the things he had forgotten. About the Potions report he never turned in. How he hadn't made his bed this morning. How he had forgotten that he never told her. Never told her that he loved her. More then any other woman in this world. Save his mother, of course…
He drifted, leaving the light, and feeling the cool hand of another on his face, as he floated into the nothingness of near death…
Chels: Your little dance sux ^^; Hehe, I'll read the story again...

Plastic: Lol, pitchforks ^^; I'm keeping her stupid for now. She needs comfort. XD. Long fics rock ^^ Complicated, dark and long towards the end...

FS: Draco will get her jealous. Very if I have any word in it. For now though, I was depressed. Had to do a dark one.

A/N: No more reviewers? I'm disappointed...