Chapter 17

When the class arrived for Physical Defence, they were surprised and a little confused to see Professor Pierson sprawled on the floor, sitting against the wall, sword by his side, and laughing hysterically. MacLeod stood nearby, face bright red, and one hand holding together his practice pants.

"Hullo class. Have a seat. When Professor Pierson stops acting like a hyena, we'll begin."

"Oh," Pierson gasped out, "Go fix your pants."

"I'll be back," Mac grumbled and walked away, not really noticing the stares his semi-clad backside received. Once he left Hermione wondered aloud.

"Why didn't he use Magic?"

Adam once again gained control of his composure and explained.

"He's lived most of his life as Muggle and never really had any form of formal magical education. He knows all the spells you do by now, but it still doesn't occur to him to use it."

"Oh."

"Is that why we learn things the Muggle way?" asked Draco. Adam rolled his eyes.

"There is no magic or Muggle way of learning. Everybody learns the same way. What they learn, however, can be either magical or not. But that is why you learn Muggle-style techniques from him. He is the best at what he does."

"Well, thank you." MacLeod said as he re-entered the practice room. Methos smirked.

"But I can still kick his butt." Mac made a talking motion with his hand.

"Blah Blah Blah."

"Poke fun all you want, but who split your shorts." Mac turned pink and gestured for Methos to stand.

"Today, class, we'll be giving a demonstration. I've asked Adam, Professor Pierson, to help me. He also has a background with sword fighting. We're going to demonstrate the basic moves and a the end of the class, we'll show you what a real spar looks like."

"Hopefully, Professor MacLeod's pants will survive this."

"Leave my pants out of this and fight me."

"Oh, keep your pants on."

"Adam!"

Methos cackled as he stood and took his position with MacLeod. For the next hour or so, the two immortals slowly went through the moves of a basic fight. The Parry and Block. The Thrust and Lunge. MacLeod soon began to lecture about stance. Classic stances, fancy stances, practical stances. Finally, he spoke of fighters who started with no stance at all.

"Some fighters, and sneaky old bastards, prefer not to start in any particular stance. Some samurai, for instance, could break into combat from a kneeling position, their sword two feet away. Other's like this sod here, start totally relaxed." Adam waved from where he stood, his sword leaning against one shoulder, smirk firmly planted on his face. MacLeod checked his watch.

"Since there is only a few minutes left, Adam and I will show you what a real swordfight looks like." He turned to Adam. "En guard."

Mac struck a stance. Adam smirked, but Methos rested his sword against his shoulder. Knowing Methos wouldn't strike first, MacLeod attacked.

With a battle cry born in the Highlands Mac swung his sword, only to have it met by the solid steel of Methos' Ivanhoe. He swung again and again and was blocked each time. Sparks flew as naked blade met naked blade. The students watched amazed at the battle, so much like a dangerous dance.

With a sharp maneuver that left most watching confused at what really happened, Duncan tore the Ivanhoe out of Methos' hands. Duncan swung at him, to end the fight the victor, only to be stopped by a small dirk. Duncan lowered his sword.

"Adam.that's cheating." Mac whined.

"Yep." Methos replied as he recovered his sword. The fight over, the participants bowed to each other, Methos with a curious smirk on his face. The reason for this smirk was made clear real soon.

RRRIIIIIIPPPP!!!!

"Not again. ADAM!!"

Methos only laughed.

***

The Weasley twins sat at their kitchen table. Fred had his chin on one hand while his other drummed out rhythms on the table. George had his head down on his folded arms.

"We need to get that.that."

"Yep."

Pause.

George's head popped up, startling Fred, who dropped his hand to the table.

"I've got it."

***

The noise in the great hall was average; not the screaming ruckus of dinner and feasts, yet not the sleepy quiet of breakfast. The teachers chatted amiably to each other as their food appeared and they began to eat.

Deciding to be a bit healthier, the Kitchen Elves prepared ornamental salads with nuts and tangerines and feta cheese and such. After today the House Elves wouldn't make salads again for a long time.

Severus noticed it first. His nose wrinkled, quite on it's on. It scrunched up and fell back all in the matter of under a second.

Methos got whiskers. His cheeks itched, and when he reached up to scratch, the whiskers, three on each side, sprung forth. He jumped startled, and turned to look at Severus. His hair was white and his nose was now small and pink.

Methos' tail twitched.

Severus' long white ear flopped forward.

Within moments the two professors were small fluffy rabbits.

It took 3.6 seconds for the students to start laughing. It took 3.7 for the teachers. It was a giggling Minerva who picked up a note found on the table.

"Dear Professors," she read aloud, "Gotcha!" she turned the note over. "To our dear Deputy Headmistress, a simple "restorito"(1) will bring them back, or the potion will wear off in 45 minutes. Do what you like, but we would appreciate it if you'd let them stew for a while. They deserve it for turning us into Asses. Thank you. Forge and Gred." Minerva bit her lip when she heard Remus mutter,

"The twins were turned into Asses and we missed it? Damnit!" Flit giggled.

"Must we turn them back yet? I've never seen them so sweet, and now they truly live up to their reputation as [giggle] rabbits." Indeed, Methos and Severus were cuddled together on the table, quietly eating carrots and quickly falling asleep. Minerva smiled and transfigured a fork into a large cage and levitated the rabbits inside.

"They can stay in there until they turn back. I'll take them to Adam's room. The cage will dissolve before they return to normal." She picked up the cage with her coworkers and carried them from the great hall. She began to talk to them as she walked.

"Now, I know it's a bit cliché to turn someone into a fluffy white rabbit, but the ass thing has been done before as well, so I can see where they are coming from." She entered Adam's room, and placed the rabbits on the bed, cage and all.

"When you return to normal the cage will vanish. I'll make sure the students know that your classes for the rest of the day are cancelled." Patting the cage, she left the room, still grinning.

45 minutes later Methos and Severus sat on the bed, white ears and fluffy tails still attached, their clothes lost in the transformation. The note Minerva read earlier was left in the cage and now laid on the bedspread. Severus picked it up and read,

"Oh, and professors? The tails and ears will last for another three hours. Just a little parting gift to the "rabbits". Use them well. Have fun! Fred and George."

Severus raised an eyebrow.

Methos leered back.

Even if Minerva hadn't cancelled their classes for the day, they wouldn't be teaching in any classroom that afternoon.

TBC

1. I know it's not real Latin, but I'm not taking Latin this year and I'm too lazy to go look up the word. I may go back and fix it later.