WHAT!!!

By jezebel

Disclaimer: see first chapter

Reviews: So, tell me how I'm doing so far

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Chapter Nine: How She Feels

Los Angeles

The Hyperion.

            Spike, Angel, and the fang gang had talked and now Spike was all moved in on his own floor. He had found he liked Angel's friends. He really liked that Fred chick, she reminded him a little bit of Red. He was currently checking out the Poof's office when a familiar feeling hit him; Buffy. He ducked for cover behind the desk and remained silent.

            Angel had been talking to Conner when Buffy and Giles had walked in. He turned around and came face to face with the slayer.

            "Buffy, why are you here?" He could see that she'd been crying, hard. He quickly turned to where Spike had been and saw the vampire duck. Guess that meant he wasn't supposed to mention him. Buffy looked up at him and sniffled.

            "Angel," She threw her arms around him. He welcomed her embrace after a moments hesitation. When she started to cry again he comforted her and he looked to Giles. His face told him something bad had happened. She turned away.

            "Thank you." He didn't get it.

            "What for?" She smiled at his confusion.

            "For being there. I know you're my second choice, but I need help protecting Dawn." Spike had jumped up and hit his head. Everyone in the lobby turned to see what the noise was, but Spike had crouched down just in time. Buffy looked to Angel.

            "What was that?" Angel's mind raced.

            "Nothing at all. Now why would you need help protecting Dawn?" He led her to the couch in the lobby. She started to cry again and Conner handed her a tissue. She looked up at him and smiled through her tears.

"Thank you. I'm sorry; I don't know your name." She looked to Angel nervously. "I'm Conner." She sniffled.

            "Nice to meet you Conner." Angel decided it would be better to talk to Buffy alone. He really didn't think now was a good time to explain, nor did he have any desire to do so.

            "Conner, why don't you go to bed. You have school tomorrow." Conner nodded.

            "Nice meeting you." He ascended up the stairs. Angel turned to Buffy.

            "Now what happened?" She stared at him for a few minutes and it was clear that she was broken. It broke his unbeating heart to see her like this. He could only imagine what Spike must be going through. She took a deep breath.

            "About a month ago, my dad filed for custody of Dawn. Me and the remaining scoobies have been working hard to keep her with me. The trial was this morning, we lost." With His vampiric hearing he could dear Spike swear. Buffy continued. "I just got back from dropping her off. I can't be here to take care of her. I was thinking you could make sure she doesn't get into trouble. I told her to call you. I hope that's okay."

            "Buffy, of course it's okay. I'll check up on her all the time, promise."  Something bugged him though. "Why wouldn't you think it wouldn't be okay?" She shrugged.

            "I don't know. You have your own life. I didn't want to intrude." He processed the information. He could still hear Spike swearing under his lack of breath. Then Buffy's words from earlier hit him.

            "What did you mean I'm your second choice?" Spike had suddenly stopped swearing. Buffy looked to Giles, then at her shoes. She avoided eye contact. He felt like she was about to drop a bombshell.

            "Angel, do you remember when we met up after I was brought back?" He looked at her strangely.       

"Yeah, I asked what exactly had happened that night," suddenly he knew where she was going this, "And who had helped you. That's what this is about isn't it? You have a friend I don't know about." He was baiting her. She didn't know it. He knew she'd feel better if she told him about Spike herself. He also hoped that if Spike heard what she really felt about him, he might go back. He decided to get her hyped up. "You have a new boyfriend don't you? And you're ashamed because he's a demon, aren't you." Giles had gotten up and left. Buffy watched him go, and then turned to angel.

            "He's not a demon, at least not to me. He's more human then most. Technically, yeah, he's a vampire. But to me he's a man. One that I trust my sister with and that I-" She stopped. Angel tried to keep her going.

            "A vampire? Buffy, I left you to have a normal life. As much as I hated Riley, he could give you that." Buffy's temper flared.

            "A normal life, huh. I'm a slayer Angel, my life can never be normal. If you want me to be happy, than that I can do. This, vampire friend of mine, made me happy. He could always make me smile, he made me feel, and you know what, he made me love." Angel could hear Spike's gasp. Buffy's eyes widened and she gave off an, 'oh my god! Did I just say that' look. Her hand clasped over her mouth. Now he had to keep her going.

            "Who is he?" Buffy stared at the floor. He only heard her response because of his vampire hearing.

            "Spike."

            When Angel didn't respond, she knew something was wrong. His face didn't even list surprise.

            "What? No, your disgusting, or he's an evil soulless vamp?" she was the one who was surprised. He looked at her calmly.

            "No, I know Spike's changed. He came to see me." She became shocked and excited.

            "He was here? Do you know where he is?" she felt a flicker of hope. She needed him. After everything that had happened, she needed to talk to him. Even if he hated her and would only leave again, she needed to tell him how she felt.

            Angel could tell her walls had broken.

            "Do you love him?" Buffy raised her head to look at him.

            "You know, I tried everything to make him leave. I convinced myself he was a monster. Even after he proved himself to me, but after he left, after everything happened, I knew the truth. So the answer is yes, I love him and I need him." She paused and gave him a helpless look. "I don't care what you think Angel, but if you knew where he is, I need to know so I can tell him that." He looked towards where Spike was hiding. He had stood up, but he shook his head no.

            "Buffy, I don't know where he is. I'm sorry and I'll help you look for him, but he never said." She nodded glumly.

            "Okay, just, watch out for Dawn. If anything happens, call me." She went and found Giles, who had taken refuge on the stairs. As they were leaving she turned around.

            "When he talked to you, did he say-" she stopped. "Does he hate me?" Her eyes welled up in tears. "No, I don't want to know. Just, if you see him, tell him to come home." Giles wrapped his arms around her and led her to the car.

            Spike was in shock. She loved him. She had told peaches that SHE. LOVED. HIM! But her question had cut into him like a knife. She thought he hated her. He walked into the lobby and eyed his grandsire.

            "So then, can I take care of the Nibblet?" Angel gave him a strange look.

            "First things first, why didn't you tell her you were here?" Spike looked down at his shoes.

            "If she knew I was here, and that I had heard everything, she'd hate me more." Angel stared at him in disbelief.

            "She doesn't hate you. She loves you, and it looks like she needs your help."

            "Maybe she doesn't hate me; I don't know how she can't. After what I did, I think it would be better if I kept my distance. Now, about the Nibblet?" Angel shrugged off his self-pity.     

            "What's a Nibblet?" Spike gave an unnecessary sigh.

            "Nibblet is Dawn. Slayer's kid sis, also known as lil bit or bitty Buffy." Angel nodded.

            "You want to make your presence known?" Spike nodded his head.

            "If I ask her, she won't tell. And if things are as bad as Slayer said, I'm thinking she might welcome me. I hope she does anyway." Angel processed the information.

            "Yeah, I take it you're her first choice to protect Dawn." Spike grinned.           

"Yup, I'm the official protector. Till the end of the world." Angel and Spike stood there in silence. Finally Spike couldn't take it.

            "I'm gonna go upstairs, brood, then sleep. See you in the bloody morning."  He stalked off leaving Angel there to ponder the sudden turn his unlife had taken.