Act 4

Scene 1

D`al nAraidi, Ireland

MATHOLWCH

Dearest, most beautiful Fand, lady of Ulster and lady over D`al nAraidi, give me your love. Let me know what this thing that makes fool of man and

king. Let me know your soft breast and firm leg.

FAND

Call'd a bright pearl I was by the Hound of Cumhail (1), whom was killed.

If you seek love do not find it in me, find it in your wife. See her working in the scullery and midden's trash heap. Find love there, knee-
deep

in shit.



MATHOLWCH

[to Eliawras]

Druid, to have one night with her I would do anything. Use the arts, us the

magic so that I may lay on like a jack and apes with such a sweet
pearl

wretch'd from Poseidon's brow.

ELIAWRAS

I can and will. I must delay that spell. Lord, must brave, delay your
inquiry for with Badb's anger comes here Bran the King pledging to
strip the land of every stone and flower if his wife is harmed.

FAND

Hopefully so, I love none here. I love neither you; nor your son Gern for he sought me as well to the death of the Hound of Cumhail, who was like an Ajax to the Irish. That lord Cuchulainn spurned my hand for someone else
so I endeavored to kill him. Gern seeking my love you desire succored foul relationships and briberies to bring the lord to fight. Struck with a poisoned spear, the lord tied himself to a stone and continued to fight. Then he stopped, none approached him. It was not until a crow landed on him

that one knew Cuchulainn was dead.

MATHOLWCH

Then counsel I inquire, we could prepare contrived this land to war. Away

Fand, leave us for now and later come to my chambers this night.

FAND

Away I will go, but I shall not enter your chambers, even if you were the

last man on this earth. I rather sleep with dogs or be buried alive
and

bring down the house on us (2).

[Exit Fand]

ELIAWRAS

Do so for it is most just. In my mind I still some to a mind a much plan

that will rob them of a Christened king. So much so that Bran will
join his father. and grandfather.his grandfather, poxed by the lord of death, made insane thought he could fly from Bath, his home, on wax wings to Leicester, Lear's home... Madness runs in the family, Christianity is
only another type of madness.

MATHOLWCH

Tell me, wise man. How do we rid us of this foul madman on the
throne.

ELIAWRAS

Invited him into a great hall which I will build in less than a day, hang on the pillars great sacks where-in I shall store one of your men-at-arms. The soldiers disguised as wine casks at a signal will jump out and put them

to work.

MATHOLWCH

Yes, make it so. And to distract them, and win sweet Fand's pure affection, a play shall be put on to welcome the feasting king. Summon the actors most

true (3).

[enter actors - Bulle the Butcher, Horse the Tanner, Hounde the
Mercer,

Boare the Limner, Ravene the Habidasher, Swane the Cordwainer, Rate
the

Chandler, Deere the Fuller, and Faune the Vitner (3, 4)]

[ to actors]

Use your talents most gross lords, for you are to play for a king. Make you

a good play, not too long, not too short, not too exciting, and not too boring that will win me the fondness of a lady I hunt for and amuse a king and his retinue. Do so for me, actors. Bring the muses to your aid; I shall give you a pound of silver for each day in one month, coming to the
number

of thirty (5).

ELIAWRAS

If the play is not good, too long, too short, too exiting, and too boring, I shall make trenchers and dishes out of your bones after you are hanged

(5).

[exit Matholwch and Eliawras]

BULLE

I quake in fear for this honored man is what caused trouble for our Hector,

Cuchulainn, in the famous feud between Ulster and Connacht over
cattle rights. I fear that it was his poison that brought the Hound of
Cumhail to

death.

HORSE

Keep your ells to yourself, slaughter-house manager. I make your hide into

leather at too much a cost. I think you put your thumb on the
scales.

HOUNDE

Is all our company here, for the lord demands a play in his wisdom?
And

threatens our lives?

BOARE

You were best to call them generally, man-by-man, according to the script.

RAVENE

What script? We have none.

SWANE

We will invent one; it is not hard to do. Here is paper with our names and

more to draw the parts.

RATE

Then proceed, I am not much a writer forced to scrawl something haphazard

like this. I need time to study and think inspiration for the plot.

DEERE

Fear not, Rate the Chandler, and make your candles so well. Why not the

story of Lludd and Llefelys? Merry our play would be then, the most lamentable comedy and most cruel death and tragedy of Lludd and Llefelys.

FAUNE

What is this Ludd and Lefelys, cousin? I have never heard of it.

BULLE

Just play along, vintner dear... I do not know what your cousin
speaks

about either. Masters spread you apart and let us hear Deere speak.

SWANE

Answer as I call you. Horse the Tanner

HORSE

Here and ready to deliver the most elegant steeds from Moses to Solomon.

Name what part, I am for and proceed on.

DEERE

You are set down for LLefelys

HORSE

What is this Lleflys, fuller? A lover, or saint, or tyrant?

DEERE

A lover most virtuous; a man most wise.

HORSE

That will ask some tears in the true performing of it. If I do it, let the audience look to their eyes. For I will move storms, I will condole some

measure.

DEERE

[clears his voice]

Yes, yes. Bulle the Butcher, you be Llud.

BULLE

What? The lead? Or is it part of the title?

[aside]

I fear Horse might kill

me if it is the lead.

DEERE

No, just a prince most plagued.

HORSE

I could play that to the rest. My chief humor is for a prince and tyrant.

'twas that I play'd Aeneas tale to Dido as in Hamlet, "The rugged Pyrrhus, like the Hyracanian beast, it is not so, it begins with Pyrrhus.
The rugged Pyrrhus, he whose sable arms, black as his purpose, did the
night resemble when he lady couched in the ominous horse, has now this
dread and black complexion smear'd with heraldry more dismal..."

DEERE

No, no, no. Horse, you are best Lleflys for you played will a big part equal in size to that of Llud and you will get an extra part of the
gross.

Faune, your part is next. You must take Anu.

FAUNE

What is Anu? A warrior wandering to-and-fro like Odysseus, for it is close

to the name of a goddess. (6)

DEERE

It is the lady that Lleflys must love.

[Laughter]

FAUNE

Nay, faith cousin, let me not play a woman so. I have a beard coming in.

DEERE

That is all one, Faune, you shall play it in a mask, and you may speak as

small as you will.

HORSE

Let me play Anu! And I may hide my face let me play Anu too. I will speak in a monstrous little voice, "Annu, Anu" "Ah, Lleflys, my lover dear! Thy

Anu dear and lady dear!"

DEERE

No, no, no. You Must play Lleflys. And cousin, you Anu. Now we must proceed, time is quite against us. You, Boare the Limner, the part shall be

Taranis.

BOARE

Then, Taranis I will be.

HOUNDE

What of me?

DEERE

Hounde the Mercer. You play BeliMawr's dog, Don.

HOUNDE

Is that an insult! Is it!

HORSE

Quit your barkin', there are other parts to be given.

DEERE

You, Rate the Chandler, the Corneid; Swane the Cordwinder, the
White

Dragon; Ravene the Haberdasher, the Red Dragon; and I, BeliMawr.

RAVENE

Have you the dragon's part written yet? Pay you do, if it be, give it to me

soon, for I am slow of study.

DEERE

Not just yet, Haberdasher. You may do it extempore, for both dragons' parts

is nothing but roaring.

HORSE

Let me play the dragons too. I will roar; that I will do any man's heart good to hear me. I will roar; that I will make the king say, "Let him roar

again."

BULLE

An you should do it too terribly, you would fight the ladies that
they

would shriek.

HOUNDE

Then they will hang us all.


FAUNE

True, I grant you, friends. If that you should fright the ladies out of their wits. they would have no discretion to hang us or worse, give
us to the druids to do as he pleases including roasting us alive in a
wicker man, wrapping us in wet leather and let it dry until our bones
break, stuff us

into pies... (7)

HORSE

But I will aggravate my voice so that I will roar you as gently as
any

sucking dove. I will roar you an 'twere any nightingale.

DEERE

You can play no part but Lleflys. For he is a sweet-faced man, as you are. A proper man as sone shall see in a summer's day. A most lovely gentlemen;

therefore, you must needs play Lleflys.

HORSE

I shall.

Extent.

One:

Hound of Cumhail, Cuchulainn, the Irish Hector; a tragic hero

Two:

Buried alive and house brought down on us, Edgar Allen Poe, "The Fall

of The House of Ulster"

Three:

Bulle the Butcher, Horse the Tanner, Hounde the Mercer, Boare the

Limner, Ravene the Habidasher, Swane the Cordwainer, Rate the Chandler, Deere the Fuller, and Faune the Vitner. Play on the "actors" in
Midsummer's

Night Dream and Hamlet.

Four:

Bull, Horse, Hound, Boar, Raven, Swan, Rat, Deer, and Faun are some of the

principal animals with mysterious properties in Irish Myth

Five:

Thirty Pounds of silver - 30 days in an average month, or could be related
to the 30 pieces of silver for the ransom of Christ which caused

the betrayer to hang himself

Six:

Anu or Annu (Danu), Goddess, founder of the Dannan line, mother of all the
Celtic gods.

Seven:

Some of the crimes Julius Caesar and the Romans ascribed to the

Druids