Chapter 13 – The Magic in Boxes
It was the start of the Christmas break. Most of the students went home, so Sophie would have a lot of free time on her hands. She was trying to think of what she could accomplish during that respite. The idea of not doing anything at all and just relaxing was not a possibility, frankly she was never very good at being idle. She could do some research. She should do some research is what she meant to say, but in her heart, she knew what she really wanted to do. She wanted to see Severus. It was a while since they spoke, their last meeting being so awkward.
Lost in a wave of memories and grief, she found herself sobbing in his arms, cursing herself for her weakness. He was the last person she wanted to fall apart in front of. She liked to at least keep up the illusion that she was in control of her emotions, at least to him, a man seemed to value control above all else.
Secretly however, she did commend herself for finding out that he had a heart beneath the layers of clothing and sarcasm.
Their conversation was not what she had expected. She thought he would be filled with more self-loathing and self-pity. She expected a lot of excuses as to why he was not liked by others and why he was so distant. But he made no apologies or justifications. He answered her questions completely and showed a depth to his character she did not think was there. He did have friends, he did feel love. Though he was avoiding those things now it was more out of stifling painful memories than an inability to experience them at all.
What surprised her most of all was that he had compassion. She was not prepared for that. She was fighting to keep her self-control in tact but feeling his arms around her, knowing what his life had been like and seeing he still had the desire to comfort her, was disarming. She desperately wanted to kiss him. Desperately. It wasn't a strong enough word to describe how he made her feel. He was not unattractive. Actually his appearance had markedly improved over the last few months. But it was more than just a physical attraction,he was brilliant. Again the word seemed inadequate. He pushed her, and she pushed back. 'Foreplay,' she thought with a grin.
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Severus Snape looked at the boxes that now filled his rooms. His conversations with Sophie had ignited a desire to reminisce about his past. It dawned on him that not all his memories deserved to be hidden.
He took out a box full of family heirlooms. Among other things he found a clock that told time in any region of the world upon request, his father's cloak, still smelling of his cologne, and a family portrait painted when he was a child. He was a little taken aback by how innocent he looked. 'Wouldn't Sophie love to see this,' he thought haughtily. 'A Muggle painting, no moving figures.' He laughed, wondering what she would say about his appreciation for Muggle art.
He thought of her as he filled his quarters with artifacts from his past. "I wonder what she would think of this," he spoke aloud. "She would say this was….healthy, that I was facing my past." He supposed she would be right.
Severus often found himself thinking of their last encounter, of her story. He found some consolation in the fact that she was not infallible. Things seemed to come so easily for her. She fit in right away, was liked right away, and genuinely seemed to be an asset to students. He recognized the fact, however, that her ardor came from not accomplishing the quest she set upon. She was punishing herself for not being successful at solving a problem that was without a solution, at what was out of her hands. He paused. Now who was he talking about really? He shook his head as he continued to look through old boxes.
He hesitated as he came across an old album. Slowly he opened it to find pictures of his wedding day. He and Cecilia had eloped and spent time in France. Figures from another lifetime, waved blissfully at him.
Cecilia.
It wasn't until his discussion with Sophie that he realized that Cecilia had never really left him. She was alive in every cell of his body. Then he realized why he had such an adverse reaction to Sophie.
Since he lost his wife, hadn't thought of being with another woman. He hadn't even been attracted to anyone since then. These feelings awakening in him was like cheating on her memory, cheating on the wife who died for his sins --and suddenly, his heart was breaking all over again. He could no longer deny he had feelings for Sophie. Looking back at that moment he held her, he wondered what his actual motives were. Holding her filled a need for himself as much as it was a comfort for her and, in the end, he questioned who really got the most out of it.
Since she came into his life he could feel himself change, wanting to be another person. It did not escape Professor McGonagall and Madame Hooch that he took greater care in his appearance. They liked to tease him about it. They got pleasure, perhaps a little too much pleasure, out of seeing him uncomfortable at the attentions that he was getting. He took points away from a third year Ravenclaw for not paying attention in class. She actually was paying attention, but not to her cauldron. She was staring at him, moony eyed, and frankly he didn't know how to react to that.
Thinking of Cecilia so openly, sharing that part of himself with Sophie, felt right. It felt like perhaps it was time to move on, but could he. He had been so sure of himself before her. His future didn't look bright and did he really want to subject her to that. Voldemort destroyed his first love. What would he do if he found out about Sophie? Perhaps it was what would bring Voldemort out of hiding. Is that a chance he was willing to take?
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It was Christmas morning.
Harry, Ron, Hermione and Ginny were the only Gryffindors left at Hogwart's. They decided to camp out in the common room after a night of very spirited games and conversation. Well, gossip more than conversation.
"I think it would be sweet," Ginny tried to explain. "They are really good for each other."
Ron was aghast. "Sophie and Snape. Are you loony? She's gorgeous. Why would she want to be with him?."
"Don't tell me you haven't noticed him lately. He looks like a different person. His hair is soft and his skin bright. I think he got this teeth fixed or something. He is quite handsome, actually." Hermione would not be out done by Ron's compliment of Dr. Young. 'Gorgeous indeed,' she thought.
"See, she is good for him. Can you think of anyone who could get him to have a snowball fight? With us nonetheless." Ginny felt her point proved.
"She does have a way with people." Ron granted.
Harry remained silent, unsure of his feeling towards the beauty or the beast.
They woke up to find a mountain of gifts at their feet. The house elves were tireless.
Ron grabbed his first gift and found yet another Weasley sweater courtesy of his mum. "It's blue." He was stunned. "Has the entire world gone mad? First we spend all night talking about Snape's love life, or lack of one, and now my Mum has gone color crazy."
"I asked your Mum to change the color," Hermione stated while rubbing the sleep from her eyes. "I thought you would like the change. The color brings out your eyes."
Ron blushed. "Thanks," was all that he could manage.
They tore through their packages. Harry got a wizard's camera from Sirius. "To create some good memories" said the note attached. He was reading its instructions when an "Ahem" took his attention to the center of the room where Ron was standing.
"This was the first year I got to do Christmas the way I always wanted to, so I wanted to give out my presents myself." He distributed his gifts looking anxiously for the reaction.
Harry froze and then slowly looked up at Ron; he was holding two tickets to the Quidditch Finals in England. "How did you get these? They have sold out for weeks…They must have cost a fortune."
"Don't look so grateful who do you think the other ticket is for." They smiled at each other.
Ginny reached over and gave Ron a hug, tears almost in her eyes. "How did you know?" She was holding a dress that she had been talking about since their last trip into Hogsmeade.
"How could I not, you haven't talked about anything else for weeks. Just don't tell Mum I bought it for you. It is a little more revealing than she or I really care for, and I can't handle another howler."
"You are such a doll," she said with a kiss. "Oh, by the way, I got you tickets to the Quidditch Final too. I guess now the four of us can go together."
He smiled. "They're my tickets and who invited you," he joked as he hit her lovingly in the arm.
The three turned to Hermione who was silently staring into a small box.
"Do you like it Mione?" Ron was nervous, maybe he pushed the line.
She got up and walked over to him and, without saying a word, brought her hands up this face and kissed him gently on the lips. Bringing her arms around his waist, her head resting on his chest, she hugged him. "I love it."
Inside the box was a white gold locket which held a picture of them both.
He was relieved that she got the message, but doubly so that she liked the message she got. Ron was prepared to tell her she could change the picture if she wanted to. That he just wanted the locket to contain a picture and he just happened to have one of the two of them, alone, sitting on the Quidditch pitch at dusk. He had to remember to thank Colin for his help.
"It's about bloody time," Harry whispered to Ginny. She was about to say something but thought better of it. Harry looked to the floor and found more packages.
"I thought we opened everything," he distributed the packages to the addressees. "They're from Sophie." Harry was surprised to note.
He opened his gift to find a new book bag with his initials embroidered on the top. Hermione's had striking looking hair combs with turquoise stones. Ron and Ginny both got new robes.
"Wow, she's generous. These are really nice," Ron said while admiring the robe. "Talk about costing her fortune."
"Not as much as you might think, she makes them herself," Ginny disclosed as she held up the robe to her body and admired it, ignoring the shocked stares from her friends.
She finally looked up. "What? She asked for ideas on what people would like." She turned to Ron, "The robes have material on the bottom so you could adjust it for your height. She said she would gladly hem it for you when you need it seeing as how you are growing at an alarming rate."
"What do you mean she makes them herself? How is that possible? When does she find the time? Are you sure she's not a witch?" Hermione flung questions at Ginny.
Ginny stopped for a moment. "She doesn't
sleep much. It's like she can't…like she
can't stop moving…like….she's afraid to or something. I don't know really. She's always looking for something to do, she
can't stop thinking about stuff or working on something. To be truthful, I think she' a bit
mental. What's that she talks about all
the time. – Obsessive/Compulsive. Maybe
that's why she became a psychologist, to help herself."
This was the most Ginny ever disclosed about her relationship with the doctor.
"Are you in sessions with her?" Ron's curiosity got the better of him.
"In a way I guess…We talk a lot. She's a good listener. She lets you go on and on and sort of work things out. I think she is great. But I think she is also really lonely. That's why I would love for her and Snape to get together. I think they would be good for each other."
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Back in a room, in a dungeon, a certain professor awoke to find a small package at the foot of his bed. He looked inside and a slow, warm smile found its way to his lips. It had no name but he knew who it was from.
