Chapter 3: And People Wonder how Legolas got the "Vain" Reputation Based on the movie By Ailuj

Mela was blindly walking across the snow following Gandalf. Deaf to everything but her own discomfort, she scarcely noticed anything until a huge chunk of snow fell near her head.

"It's Saruman!" bellowed Gandalf.

Mela thought, "What? Damn! He'd be really mad if he knew I was here!" While Mela watched a flashback of dumping Saruman in her head, she completely missed someone suggesting going through the mines of Moria.

"What is your opinion, Legolas?"

"What? Oh, I don't know, is it dirty there?"

"Probably," Boromir replied, rolling his eyes. "But better than up here."

"Oh, all right. Even though this mountain, er."

"Caradhras," Boromir supplied.

"Yes, exactly. I suppose even getting the bottoms of my feet dirty is better than my hair getting messed up here!"

Boromir, with a dirty look at Mela, said, "The Ringbearer's voice should surely be heard?"

"We will go through the mines. Merry, keep rubbing my back," said Frodo.

As the Fellowship walked down to Moria, Mela wished that she had never chosen to give her brother a good whack on the head, but she quickly subdued those thoughts.

When Gandalf had finally found the door of Moria, to Mela's irritation, Gandalf didn't know how to open it! "We're being led by an idiot," she muttered, watching Gandalf draw into a corner and eat tic-tacs. (He had stolen some of Pippin's). She then walked over to where Sam (who insisted on being called Frodo) was having his face washed. While she was washing her own face, she heard Sam (who insisted on being called Frodo) exclaim "Gandalf! What's the Elvish word for friend?"

"Mellon," replied Gandalf. To everyone's great shock and amazement, the door creaked open. Walking inside, however, revealed that some great carnage had taken place.

"Wow!" said Pippin, never one to be depressed by dead bodies. "Some great carnage has taken place!"

"Aagh!" Mela shrieked. Without further ado, she rushed outside, the rest of the Fellowship following. However, while Mela was rushing out to get away from the bodies, everyone else was rushing to save Frodo from the monstrous beast that had gripped him.

"Legolas! Do something!"

"Who, me? Ahhh. how does this thing work?" she asked nobody in particular, which was good, because nobody answered. Mela skulked in the background, trying to look like a productive, helpful member of the Fellowship.

"Into the mines!" shouted Aragorn, and Mela obeyed with alacrity.

Later, picking her way down the filthy path inside the tomb of Moria, Mela did not feel so sanguine, and the Fellowship was getting quite irritated with her mincing and trying to stay clean. As previously, she was so occupied with herself that she didn't notice much until Gandalf lost his way. At that point she had to take notice of things, as she, like the rest of the Fellowship, wanted to find a place to sit down. However, unlike the rest of the Fellowship, she was quite unwilling to sit on just any old dirty rock. It took her forever to find a decent one, and even then she snitched Aragorn's spare shirt to wipe it off with. (He wouldn't notice- he's grubby anyway.)

Finally she was somewhat comfortable and resolved to get as much beauty sleep as possible. Mela had only gotten about 20 minutes of rest when she heard the word Gollum. She awoke with a jerk.

"What? Gollum? Where?" The Fellowship stared at her.

"Legolas, calm down. We were just saying that Gollum has been following us for three days. He is no threat to us- yet," said Gandalf.

"Oh- oh yes. I- well, you see, since Gollum escaped from me I have felt the need to redeem my honor by catching him."

"Ah yes. I understand- a matter of honor," said Aragorn, "I wouldn't be here if it didn't exist. I'd be happy instead."

This may have continued for some time, but Gandalf exclaimed, "Ah! It's that way."

"He's remembered!" chirped Pippin, but Mela had already resumed her tedious picking through the muck in the passageway. She once again didn't notice anything until Gimli gave a pained bellow and ran into a small room aside from the main hallway.

"What now?" Mela moaned, but nobody listened. Gimli fell to his knees by a raised platform- the grave of his cousin, Balin. As Gandalf read from an old musty book, Mela stood in the background trying to look properly sorrowful, which wasn't easy for an elf that didn't give a dead dwarf about a dead dwarf.

"Psst! Why didn't you help us earlier?" asked Aragorn.

"My bow was malfunctioning. Technical difficulties," replied Mela, but the last part of her reply was cut off by Pippin throwing something loudly down the well.

"Fool of a Took!" growled Gandalf. The drums of Moria began to boom. Before Mela knew it Aragorn and Boromir were blocking the door shut.

"Legolas! Hurry up!" shouted Aragorn as he quickly strung his bow. "Help us here!"

"Right!" replied Mela, trying to sound manly and in control. She clumsily strung and loaded her bow.

"Psst," Boromir whispered to her. "It goes the other way."

"I know," replied Mela. Any further conversation was stopped as the fight began. Luckily the fray was so busy that nobody noticed that Mela was doing 100% nothing. The sum total of what she did was duck when a horrible monster came crashing in and swung a chain at her.

After that she simply stayed in a corner, waiting for the fight to be done. When it was, she followed the others to Frodo, meanwhile artistically smudging her face so it looked as if she had fought a hard battle. She hadn't, obviously.

Following the Fellowship as they ran out the door, Mela was terrified. Her terror grew when they found themselves surrounded by goblins. She tried to press in to the center of the group so she would be protected. However, it appeared as though Aragorn, Gandalf, Boromir and Gimli were convinced to sacrifice themselves for the hobbits, and were taking her with them. Mela's relief when the goblins ran was short-lived, as what Gandalf called a Balrog chasing the company down the passageway followed it. As they were running away, Mela wondered, "Could things get any worse?" They could, as she soon found out.

When they reached a split in the rock wall they were running on, Mela was ahead. She stopped and looked back, wondering what the heck she would do now.

"Jump!" yelled Gandalf.

"Are you out of your mind?" she screamed.

"Just go!" Boromir shouted.

"This is suicide!" thought Mela, but she jumped. Then, in a moment of kindness, she turned to help everyone else across. She watched in horror as the path was broken and Aragorn and Frodo were trapped on the other side. They leaned forward with the rock and. made it! Wait. Did Mela just almost care about the other people in the fellowship?

The company continued running toward the bridge of Khazad-Dum, chased by the Balrog. Over the bridge! Mela was worried about how the wind and dust would affect her hair, but she didn't have time to think about it for too long. When she reached the other side she turned to watch Gandalf to make sure he was all right. After all, he was in charge of keeping her alive.

To her horror, he cried, "You cannot pass!" and broke the bridge with his staff, going down with the Balrog. Sorrowfully, Mela ran with the rest of the Fellowship, wondering, "Oh, now what will happen to my hair?"