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Love and kisses to Diana. Thanks for your help in spite of all you are going through.

Chapter 32 – Flying For The Very First Time

Some days had passed, that was all Severus Snape was really sure of. Two, three, a week, more. He was in a dark room. Was it a room? Where was he? Was he home? His tired eyes could make out a faint light ahead, far in the distance. Without knowing why, he started to walk towards it. Tried to. He kept walking, walking, walking. But no matter how long he walked or how far, it got no closer. So he began running. Running for his life. No, that was not it. He was running to something. To someone. To her. He was running to her. He was running to his life.

Now he was falling. No, floating through the air. No, he was flying. On his broom. On their broom. The one he got because of her. The one he got for her. He was searching for her. Trying to. He could not control the broom. It would not let him. It flew itself. Over her house. Over the Forest spring. Over the mountainside.

And then he stopped, frozen in the stillness, frozen in the darkness. He was not flying anymore, just hovering. Waiting.

The light was moving. The light was coming closer. It was moving towards him. She was coming home.

"Severus." A gentle voice drifted through the darkness. It was warm and sad. Was it her? Was she calling him? Was she coming home? Was he?

"Severus." It was not her voice. It was someone else's. Who was it?

"Severus."

With the little strength he possessed, he opened his eyes, temporarily blinded by a stream of light that poured through an open window. He was still in the infirmary, still in the wooden contraption someone generously called a chair. Sophie was still unconscious. There was no hovering broomstick. It was just a dream.

Remus Lupin looked at him with concern. "I'm sorry I woke you, but you were moaning in your sleep. I was afraid you were having a nightmare. You…you were crying."

Severus was disoriented by his own weariness, the intensity of the blasted light and his own lack of reaction to Lupin. Why wasn't he irritated and aggravated? Why was he comforted by the presence of the ruffled werewolf? In a rush it all became clear: where he was, why he was there, the past few days. In a rush it all became clear: Sophie, suffering, pain, fear. Internally, he admonished himself for being so weak as to fall asleep. She could have awakened and he missed it. 'Wait,' he thought in mounting alarm.

"Crying? I was crying?"

Remus's face softened. "You seemed to be in a lot of pain."

Severus merely shook his head. "Odd."

"Odd?"

"Yes," he said, somewhat bewildered. "It was possibly the most pleasant dream I've had in over twenty years."

Remus cocked his head slightly. "What did you dream of?"

Severus quirked his eyebrow at the inquisitive werewolf. "Are we going to start painting each other's finger nails and fixing each other's hair now, as well?"

"Wow," Remus replied in astonishment. "You are really bad at this friend thing, aren't you?" A smile spread across his face. "It was just a simple question."

Of all the smarmy…"I wasn't aware that being on friendly terms permitted you access to my private thoughts." Severus was invigorated by the return of his more acerbic nature. This was more like it. This felt right.

Remus was not willing to let him slip back behind his veneer so quickly. "No, I reckon it doesn't. It's just that, usually, a dream that makes you so happy that you cry is something that one usually wants to share with someone else…if only to make the feeling last a little longer."

Severus sighed and dropped his shoulders as he released the tension that threatened to snap his back. It was getting to be too difficult to keep fighting, getting to be too difficult to push. "When did you get to be so wise?"

"I was always wise," Remus replied with mock indignation. "This is just the first time we've spoken long enough for you to see that. This has to be some sort of record for civil conversation between the two of us, come to think of it."

Severus couldn't help but agree. He paused to try to determined when he got to be so chatty, and when, in the name of Hades, did he decide to share so much. This could not possibly be good, but something told him Remus was right. Severus did want to talk about it, he did want to share it, to make the feeling last just a little bit longer. "Very well," he acquiesced. "I was dreaming of Sophie. She was…she was coming to me."

"Wow," Remus uttered, his face slackened in surprise.

"You have quite a way with words; it's a wonder we had not had a conversation sooner," he snorted.

"I'm sorry, Severus." Remus's face softened again. "I know you love her. I know you love her a lot. I guess I never realized how deeply she…she affected you."

"Yes, I have a hard time coming to terms with it myself," Severus mumbled as he rubbed the back of his stiff neck.

The werewolf shook his head. "Is it so hard to be in love?" he asked.

"It's damn impossible," was the muffled reply.

It was difficult to see Severus suffering so. Remus had always thought of Snape as the cause of suffering, not the one afflicted. But here in front of him sat a man drowning in emotions he could not control, and to lose control was not something he did willingly. Ever. In knowing the man for a few decades, Remus had learned at least that much. "Things look dark now," he began, "but it won't be like this forever. She will wake up. On some level you must believe that too, if you are dreaming about it."

The Potion's master just pursed his lips. "My dream was just the manifestation of my hopes. It proves nothing other than that it seems the only way to get a restful night's sleep is to go a week without any respite." He paused. "And, that there is a fine line between the most pleasant of dreams and the most horrific of nightmares."

Remus sighed and gave a small smile. "Sorry for the attempt at optimism, old man."

"I am not old," Severus huffed. "I am certainly no older than you." This werewolf was taking too many liberties. "And do you think it is possible for you to come up with a moniker for me that does not cause me to want to impale you on a broom?"

With this, Remus laughed out loud. "Fine, fine. Why don't you tell me more about your dream?"

'Wonderful, let's start with something easy. More sharing,' Severus thought irritably. He released another dramatic sigh. "There wasn't much to tell. I couldn't see where I was, but everything I saw reminded me of her. I was hovering on a broom-"

"You were on a broom?" The werewolf could barely contain his amusement.

"Yes…..What the hell is so funny about that?"

"That was you and her on a broom at Christmas, wasn't it?" Remus said through barely restrained giggles.

"What are you talking about?" Severus asked nonplussed, and shifting uneasily.

"I heard a story….a rumor….about you and Sophie flying on a broom. I recalled you hated the damn things from the first time you mounted one. I convinced myself that it had to be some misunderstanding, that you would never willingly fly one, but it was you wasn't it."

"So what if it was?" Severus hated himself for sounding like an affronted first year.

Remus did all he could to keep from sharing his amusement with one who could hex him unrecognizable and without leaving the slightest trace of evidence. "You are lost, my friend. Lost," he managed, his face turning red from his attempts to stifle his laughter.

"Do want to hear the rest of this or not," Severus said testily, "Because frankly I was more entertained counting the tiles on the ceiling."

Remus cleared his throat. "Two thousand, one hundred and thirty six. Now, please continue."

With the second raised eyebrow of the day, he continued. "I kept going towards her, but she was always out of reach…always just out of reach. I was walking at first. Then running. Then, quite suddenly, flying. I found myself on a broom that seemed to be flying itself. She…something was coming towards me when I woke up."

"So, she never spoke to you?"

"No."

"Interesting...and you were on a broom the whole time." Remus paused to ponder the significance of that. "When was the last time you flew?"

Begrudgingly, Severus answered, "December. Late December."

"I see." Remus was now choking with laughter.

"Oh, for Merlin's sake, breathe will you. We are already low on beds in this place." He motioned to Draco who was sound asleep.

With a deep breath and a chuckle, and wiping a tear from his eye, Remus spoke. "Was it as horrible as you remember?"

With a small shrug Severus simply said, "No."

Remus could barely hear the answer but he could see the change in Snape's demeanor as he said it. "No?" he asked.

He was staring over Remus' s shoulder. Somewhere Severus thought he heard a sweet, gentle laugh, and he was sure he could smell the faintest trace of vanilla. "It was…exhilaration. It was deliverance. It was joy." His eyes dropped to the floor. "As if I was doing it for the first time."

And then, Remus understood. He understood why a man who hated flying bought a brand new broom, and he understood what flying that broom meant to him. Remus understood why such a man having had such a flight, would be dreaming about it now. And, he understood the depths of a joy that would leave that man, one who had spent a lifetime fighting his feelings, crying in his sleep over the idea that the woman he loved would return to him. But mostly he understood it was time to stop talking. At least for a little while.

Remus's long silence caused Severus to look up questioningly. "So you are capable of not talking for three consecutive minutes. Will wonders never cease?"

"Sorry," Remus said softly. "I was lost in thought."

"Well… yes…. that is understandable, being in uncharted territory and all."

Remus looked up sharply and would swear that he saw the smallest upturn of Severus's lips indicating a smile. "Are you teasing me?" he asked.

"No. I am mocking you." Snape answered. "A subtle difference, but one I am sure you will come to know well in time."

Remus gave a crooked smile. "Two can play at that - "

"Severus." A fragile, shaken voice interrupted. A fragile, shaken voice was calling. "Severus."

They both looked down to the see a pair of soft brown eyes peering through an ashen face.

The world began to swirl in a mass of light and sound and Severus dropped to his knees and knelt in front of her; his quivering hands grabbing her flaccid one and his eyes, disbelieving, searching. "Sophie?" he asked,  afraid to believe what he was seeing. "Sophie?" he asked again. "Can you hear me? You… you are safe. It's all right. I promise."

He looked up slightly panicked and completely unsure of what to say or do next and was stopped by the sight of Remus whose face showed the same combination of trepidation, fear, and surprise that he was feeling. And for reasons he could not fathom, he added, "Remus is here, too."

She licked her dry lips. "Am I in heaven?" she asked, her voice slightly stronger.

"No," he said with a small laugh. "You are at Hogwarts."

"I thought I was in heaven…" She slowly shifted her eyes back and forth between Severus and Remus. "I thought I was in heaven because hell must have frozen over to have you two talking to each other like this."

His heart leapt. She was back. She was home.

Author's note – This is not the end, I promise. There is more…so much more.