Special thanks to my wonderful reviewers – your words keep me going.

Much love to Diana for her help in bring in Sophie back.

Chapter 33 – Miles to go…

He was unable to speak.  Words raced through his mind: passages from some long forgotten narrative, epic poems about heroes and kings, lyrics to love songs the children would listen to in the quiet recesses of their room.  But no matter what tale was being told in his mind, Severus's mouth wouldn't allow him to utter a thing. 

There was so much he needed to say, so much he wanted to ask her.  The what and hows seemed to stick in his throat; the whys and whos burned him.  At the moment, all he could do was stare into her soft brown eyes as they locked with his ebony ones.  With a heavy heart, he gazed at pools of velvet chocolate, mourning the loss of the shine that once dwelt there; that reflected his soul when he found the courage to look inside. He could not help but notice the weariness that was excruciatingly evident in the ashen skin, and the suffering of these weeks that were etched in the tiny lines that marked her face. 

And through the graying haze in which she awakened, she noticed the same things about him.

Their last words to each other were forgotten, thrown into the abyss. Disappearing into the ether.  Discarded, because they no longer meant anything to anyone.  Nothing else existed at that moment - not the world, not the past, not the pain, not the fear.  They both knew it was a brief serenity that would all too soon be destroyed by the inevitable questions that needed to be asked and the explanations that no one wanted to hear but would demand. 

Despite the specter of the future that taunted them, they cherished this brief moment of quiet, this one small respite.

Remus watched them with an absolute joy marred by a slight jealousy.  He couldn't help it; as happy as he was for both of them it only served to further remind him of what he walked away from.  The companionship, the closeness, the ability to speak without ever saying a word, the ability to live in each other's eyes.  Though he didn't have this with Sophie, he left behind the possibility that he could have that one day.  He let go and in doing so he lost it all, the closest he had ever been to unconditional love.  Leaving was an action he never regretted, but grieved over everyday since.

Suddenly, he felt like he was intruding.  They did not need him lurking about, prying on a most intimate reunion.  No, what they needed now was privacy.  He knew what was going to come, and if he could hold if off, even for a short time, he would do it - for her and perhaps for Severus as well.  Trying to be as quiet as possible, so as not to break the trance between his friends, Remus Lupin headed for the door.

"Don't go."  To his surprise the words came from Severus Snape.

Remus turned to face him, "No, you need your time alone; I'll go and tell everyone Sophie's finally awake."

"No Remus, please stay."  It was now a plea from Sophie.  "They will know soon enough.  I want some time with you both alone before it all starts."  Her voice was frail and hoarse, little tremors weakened the once unbendable timbre.  She seemed so fragile laying there, small and nervous in starched white sheets. "How are you feeling?" he asked.

She swallowed hard and licked her dry lips before answering. "Broken…like I was picked up and dropped…hard," she stated... "Where's Draco?"

"He's fine.  He's asleep in the next bed."  Severus pointed to the boy who was curled up in a fetal position in the bed next to hers.  A portion of blond hair arced from his forehead, the tip grazing his pale cheek. "My hero," she whispered as she watched him sleep.  "Did he tell you?" she asked.  "Did he tell you what he did?"

"In excruciating detail." Severus's voice disclosed his indignation. The temper, kept at bay by fear and sorrow, surfaced.  Her pale form stiffened slightly at his words and the tone in which they were delivered.  Fidgeting like a child waiting for reprimand, she waited silently for his reaction, frightened of his words. The site left him heartbroken. "Sophie," he began.

She merely shook her head, "No…not now," was all she said.

He did not push.  If she was nothing else, Sophie was a talker.  When she was ready, she would tell them.  It seemed, however, that there were other things she wanted to talk about. "My better judgment tells me not to ask," she began, "but I have to.  Was I hallucinating a few minutes ago or where you two talking…civilly to one another?"

"Do you know what she is babbling on about?"  Remus asked Severus.

"I'm still wondering when she had this so called better judgment and why wasn't I told about it."

Sophie looked from one to the other is stunned silence.   Severus couldn't help but laugh as he took her hand.  He leaned in and kissed her forehead.  Breathlessly, he spoke, "Oh, how I missed you. Don't ever leave me again."

Sophie closed her eyes and concentrated the spot on her forehead made warm by his lips.  Her eyes remained closed as she replayed Severus's laughter in her head, a rare gift to be cherished.  She finally opened them to face the stark reality of the white infirmary room. As a doctor she strived to help people heal so they could walk away from such places; as a patient, she doubted she would ever be ready to leave it.  "Can you help me sit up?" she asked.

Severus took her arm as Remus walked around the other side and helped prop her up comfortably.   At the sound of the movement, Draco stirred.  His eyes fluttered open and began to focus.  A blurred shadow became a person. He found himself staring at Sophie Young, her eyes open and her lips curled in a soft smile.  He furrowed his brow as he tried to determine whether or not he was dreaming and whether or not he wanted to wake up.

"Dr. Young," his voice strained.

Her smile widened.  "I think you have earned the right to call me Sophie, Draco."

"Are you okay?" he asked timidly.

She gave a small shrug, "All things considered, I think so.  Are you?

He shrugged back. "All things considered."

'What to consider? Too much, far too much,' she thought grimly.  In the blink of an eye a child became a man, a hero was born, a family was lost and all she could think to say when faced with all of that through his grey eyes was, "Thank you."

He looked away, not wanting to have this conversation. "Don't-"

"No," she interrupted, "you need to hear this.  You….I thought it was the end for me.  I don't think I have ever been so scared in all my life.  When I saw you, it broke my heart.  I didn't know what you would do or if you would do anything at all.  When you started…I thought I was lost.  But then…you…you were wonderful, Draco.  I owe you my life."

He just shook his head.  This was wrong.  All wrong.  "You don't owe me anything…I owe you, I think."

"You owe me?" she asked incredulously.

"That's what I felt when I saw you there," he said without looking at her. "That I owed it to you to help you."

'So much goes on in that mind of yours, Draco.'  All in the blink of an eye. Everything changes all in the blink of an eye. "I think you and I have a lot to talk about."

He just shrugged his shoulders again. 

She agreed with his assessment, "I know…not now…I don't feel like talking too much right now myself.  But soon."

"Okay."  She only just heard his reply.

The weight of the world was beginning to come down on Sophie and she swayed, becoming dizzy from the heaviness in the air.

"Can I get you anything?" asked Remus, concerned by her weakening state.

"Water…I think… And maybe something to eat.  Bring some for Draco too; he looks like he hasn't been eating well."

Draco looked up surprised. "Yeah…that…that would be all right," he replied.  "Thank you." 

Remus smiled out of the corner of his mouth as he watched the young man.  Draco sat completely confused by Sophie's regard for his well being.  It was obvious he was not used to someone being concerned about him.  Until that moment, Remus had thought Draco would have a hard time adjusting to being alone in the world.  It was not something that was easy to do; he knew it all too well.  But looking at him now, Remus wondered if the challenge would actually be allowing people to care for him.  Sometimes that was harder.  Unconsciously, he turned to Sophie as that thought came to him.  Without saying anything else, he left for the kitchens.

Poppy Pomfrey saw him leave and went to check on her patient.  She wondered if Severus had finally turned him out.  'Shame,' she thought. 'But, that truce could only last so long.'  She gasped as she entered and saw Sophie sitting up. 

"Why didn't you come get me?!?"  She was irate. "Get out now. I need to examine her.  I have been far too lenient as it is." 

As she shuffled him out the door, Severus huffed, "A wonder why we didn't get you straight away."

"Enough from you.  Out!"

"I'll be right outside," he called out to Sophie.

Madame Pomfrey turned to her patient, her countenance immediately softened. "Welcome back," she said warmly

Sophie smiled at Madame Pomfrey in reply and watched as the medi-witch drew the curtains around her.  "Sorry Draco," she said to her other patient. "I think the  good Doctor will want some privacy."  Draco just laid back as he gave Sophie one last look. 

Madam Pomfrey cast a Silencing Charm around Sophie's bed and as gently as she could she asked, "How are you feeling, Sophie?"

"I've been better," she answered as Madame Pomfrey's waved her hands over Sophie's body, scanning her condition.

"You've been through a lot," the nurse said softly.  She braved a smile as she tucked some of Sophie's hair behind her ear.  "You seemed to have healed quite nicely, dear.  I have been in contact with a Muggle physician about you and we have a few ideas how to treat you.  I'm sure Severus will be more than happy to work with the doctors to create some…"  She stopped talking when she noticed Sophie was really listening. "Sophie. Sophie, dear."  Nothing. "Sophie, I know nothing I say can change what's happened, but I can promise that you will be fine from now on. It isn't much, but you can take some consolation in the fact that you will not have any permanent scars…..permanent physical scars."

Sophie nodded and opened her mouth to say something, but stopped.   The medi-witch saw the confusion and uneasiness in Sophie's eyes and answered the questions she knew was being asked.

"I haven't gone into details about your injuries to anyone other than the Muggle doctor," she began.  "I didn't know if you would return to us, so I didn't think it was necessary to discuss them until you came back and could make that decision for yourself."

Sophie nodded and again opened her mouth as if to speak, but stopped.

"It's all right, child," Madam Pomfrey whispered. "It will be all right."

Sophie looked at her and nodded silently again as she reclined, sinking into the cool pillows.  Curling on her side, her eyes focused on the vivid white walls of the infirmary, and on those walls a thousand pictures flashed.  Days and weeks of despair and darkness imprinted onto pure white walls.  Faces of strangers, eyes full of hatred staring at her from bright white walls.  Poppy came to her side and held her as the wave washed over her and the tears fell down onto the bed. She rocked Sophie still whispering words of reassurance and safety into ears which couldn't hear anything.

"It's just so much," Sophie finally said. "It's just so much."