Always
Thank you to: Araanaz my sister for being in a way my own Legolas. Thanks to Cassia, Siobhan, Scribe, Rachel Perez, Down the Rabbit Hole and many others for writing the stories that could have been, might have been with Aragorn and Legolas.
Notes: Legolas right before entering Valinor has a vision that he left Estel behind in terrible pain and pursue a dark journey for their friendship. No slash in this story however.
The title is taken from the back vocal of "Beautiful Day" from U2 when Bono says "You thought you find a friend to take you out of this place, someone you could lend a hand in return for grace."
Elvish translation taken without permission from www.grey-company.org
Always By Tori
He stared at the reflection in the mirror and cursed it.
It was his face that was responsible for his bloody lip and the pain in his stomach, he cursed his blond locks that fell just below the ears, he cursed his porcelain skin, he cursed his ever changing eyes that went from the amazing blue that reminded him of the sea to the dark brown of the oak tree. He cursed especially the carefully hidden pointy ears, years ago he pondered at having them cut, he could easily find someone, some shady doctor to apply some hot sterilized knife and make it roundish like every other human.
He laughed bitterly still staring at himself in the mirror but the corner of his mouth turned upside down, even laughing like a psychopath he was still one of the most beautiful being in this world. And yet, even if he despised it, he couldn't leave.
He could still hear the gull's cry calling him. He had stepped with his best friend on a journey knowing he would have to leave his brother behind, he had done so with a light feet and slightly heavy heart, the thoughts of seeing his family again, to see the beauty of the Valar had haunted him.
He was a few feet from the shore, laughing heartily had Gimli's attempts to make himself presentable for the Queen of the Elves, Galadriel when it hit him. A strange but sudden feeling that immediately made him turn around his eyes peering from the invisible shore of MiddleEarth.
The intense feeling of pain and hurt. He turned around at the fog surrounding the boat like a cloak. The weather was warm and the sight of Valinor was inviting but something just made him stare at the gray clouds for an answer. He stared hard for a minute and just when he was going to turn at Gimlis antics he saw a shadow. A few meters away was a formation of rocks that held nothing particular a few moments ago. Legolas concentrated to see a shadow that was slowly growing as a shape. It was clear though who the figure on the rocks was, the reflection of his brother sitting on a rock looking as young as he did when he was a mere ranger, they locked eyes and kept it until his brother silently fell headfirst in the shady waters. Without looking back, without thinking he plunged his mind racing with the name "Estel".
The coldness of the water hit him making him feel numb, he, as an elf, never felt much of the weather except in extreme condition. Every elves were somewhat impervious to cold or heat, but now seeing noting but the grayness of the underwater he felt a chill that took a long moment to place from his memory. He stood still in the water his eagle like sight watching right ahead for a sign of Estel, but there seemed to be nothing in front of him just the cold waters. He swam back to the surface finally placing the feeling that burgeoned in him, it was as if he was back on the path of the Dead with Aragorn and the company.
He glanced back at Gimli who was now standing at the shore the boat was empty, surrounded by familiar faces lost through the Ages. Beside him were Elrond, his eyes questioning next to Thranduil whose face mirrored his Nordor compatriot.
-"I have to go." He stated simply, his eyes were searching the faces from the Fellowship, Gimli's face was red and he seemed incapable of speaking, Gandalf nodded once accepting, Frodo whispered a small prayer but it was in Sam's eyes that he saw the truth. Never leave anyone behind, never hesitate for your friend. Sam had traveled into the depth of Mordor to be a friend, to save his brother-in-arm. It was in Sam's eyes he see the strength he needed to swim back to the shore. He smiled briefly and his lips muttered: "Namarie" as he said farewell to his family and his universe, it might possibly be the last time he'd ever set eyes on the place, he might be haunted for the rest of his life by the pull of the West, but the vision of Estel drowning was the worst nightmare.
He plunged into the murky waters, even if he knew he had to do it, he couldn't bear the sight of his father and was it his mother that was standing a bit on the left? He pushed the thoughts away as he moved his arms and legs using all the strength he possess to push him as far as he could. There was no room was regrets or he would turn back, he had fought so much the best years with the defeat of Sauron and had seen Middle-Earth grow to a place that could survive without the Eldar race. He had made his peace so many years ago, he had prepared to leave the roots that saw him grow. He left precious friend behind in the presence of Faramir, Eowyn, Eomer, Lothlriel, Merry, Pippin to name a few and their children he had grew fond of. He left the beauty of Eryn Lasgalen, the memories of his native lands, the songs the leaves sang he knew by heart.
He left Estel and Arwen in the Palace of Gondor.
He had waited until the end, or so he thought. He had sat by the king's bedside, ignored the gray strands in his childhood best friend's raven lock. Consoled the prince heir that reminded him so much of Aragorn he almost wept once. He could remember it so vividly, he had sat a morning with Aragorn who was sleeping after a coughing fit that seized him the evening before. Aragorn had joked a bit with his best friend as they took turn telling tales of their adventures to Aragorn's youngest daughter who had, sick with worry, woken to the sound of her father's coughing. She stopped her mother from going as the Queen's dark circle under her eyes attested to much of the pain and stress she was feeling. Legolas and Estel exchanged looks as they heard the hushed conversation outside the room, Aragorn's face carried so much guilt. He loved Arwen dearly and to know the unbearable pain she had was because of him hurt him beyond words.
-"It's a small price to pay, Aragorn." Muttered Legolas leaning forward as they heard Arwen's footsteps backing away and the door of the room she was staying in. Seeing Aragorn's confused glance, he added: "Insomnia." They shared a bitter smile, they both knew it wasn't the price to pay even if it was one of the consequence of watching someone dear dying slowly. They looked up as the door opened and the youngest of the Telcontar House was standing.
She had stepped in the room to see her father propped against the bed, half sitting a mug of mead in his hand and a guilty look in his eyes, next to him on a chair sat Legolas who leaned back . She hesitated before stepping further in the room.
-"Ada, she said using the elvish affectionate term, you should be sleeping." She reprimanded sounding so much like her mother as well as looking like her, she had the white porcelain skin, the black locks though a few shades paler then Undomiel
-"Mela en'coiamin !" Cried out Aragorn a bit louder he should have, Legolas winced a bit but watched with a smiled as the young maiden blushed, Estel still had even on his deathbed a charm that made the female blush but who wouldn't at being called the equivalent of love of my life.
At the triumphant grin an the Edain's face, Legolas nodded and rose from his seat, he walked to the girl he remembered clearly holding in his hands years ago, yet not so long.
-"Milady, please do not blame your father for this indulgence, we have been merely passing the times together lost in old memories." Legolas said gently ignoring Estel's groan as his daughter was completely enamored in the Elf's speech.
-"Of..of course not Master Legolas. I did not mean to intrude in this gathering." Stammered the princess blushing even harder not noticing Legolas threw a smile that clearly said "I've got it better then you."
-"Antolle ulua sulrim, havo dad Legolas." Said Estel far too fast for his Gondorian raised daughter to understand, even if both her parents carefully educated their children to speak the Grey Tongue.
-"Sit down too Melamin, listen a bit about the folly your father made in his youth." Estel said before taking a sip of his mug, his daughter timidly sat at the foot of the bed sitting with her elbows propped on her knees cupping her face. Her eyes wide open as she listened to the story, she had fallen asleep a bit later on as she curled up to her father and Legolas watched with melancholy Aragorn caressing her hair. Having been in no hurry to find a mate like the way of the elves taking their time doing everything or so it seemed for Aragorn and Gimli. And being quite a young one compared to his peers, Legolas never thought of having children of his own. But watching his dearest friends enjoy the pleasures and suffer the pain of parenthood he felt a little thug in his heart not to know it first hand. But then the thought always came to him, "when I will be in valinor I will then start a family."
And now he was in a hellhole cursing his wounds. He knew he couldn't be long, she was waiting for him after all. He had promised himself years ago that he wouldn't let anything harmful come her way. Her strength had dimmed with the ages and sometimes it seemed she lost also her mind. They had surprised him, he who had the superiority and the wisdom of his years, and he felt every singly years he had spent roaming the land, especially now. They were 5 men, large men that resemble hybrid with the Orcs and the race of men. Drawing colored their skins with symbols of death and pain, leather and spikes covered their bodies more then necessary in the hot air. She had been ill earlier and Legolas had been alone all day gathering everything he needed to help, he had felt their stare on his body ever since he entered the shop near the bar where they were hanging. He heard their insults at his overly fair looks and his clothes, he grew to like silk now that leather was mostly associated with dangerous group. As an elf, and even more as a royal elf he was used to nice dressing at his fathers palace, the rest of his life carried too much risk and adventures for him to indulge in fine clothing, but in these days, he could. He wasn't aware of the combination of his ear long almost platinum blond hair bleached by the hot Californian sun and his porcelain skin that refused to tan made him a target. In this age, gracefulness in a man was associated with a lesser being when millennia ago it was the opposite, in these days, it was a target for the hatred men carried. Legolas was simply too handsome, too perfect, he was an elf.
She needed him.
They corned him and used a crude language to describe things even with his knowledge he couldn't even fathom what they were talking about. And before he could skive or slide the first blow knocked him, it took him a few minutes to retaliate or just to simply understand. He had reflexes beyond their comprehension, but he had a growing weariness that made him feel sometime almost human. Two men grabbed his arms and placated him to the brick wall as the three others blocked the view from passers by, the leader in the middle cracking his knuckles with glee. Legolas felt a darkness around him that echoed the battles of the war of the ring, only creatures from Mordor could have so much happiness in their eyes at hurting another being. Legolas knew how cruel mankind could be but to see true evil reflecting as a burning flame in the iris of a man twice in size inch away was petrifying. The fist hit the stomach three times pausing after every take to accentuate the pain, at the third the nagging thought crept back.
"She needs you."
The two lackeys held his arms held him a bit higher so he couldn't double over and doing this allowed the leader free access to bruise his face as he did several hard slaps on the face with the heavy rings turned on the side of the palms to leave more marks while the two who were guarding started to laugh. Threats and insults floated around, most of them in a slang that even if the elves were the ones that taught the humans languages were too much a reminiscent of the dark tongue that it made legolas wince harder. His vision started to get blurry with the blood trickling from a forehead wound and the blows to his stomach were harder as the man used more strength. On a human the blows could have been fatal.
"He needs you."
On that thought Legolas got simply bored, he was more then a seasoned soldier and assassin to get beaten by a group of Orcs imitators. He bent hard so violently that the men holding him dropped him, he curled into a ball rolling once and sprung back on his feet knocking as hard he could the leader that fell on the ground, he spun a kick that made one guard crash into the other delivered two blows in the head on the bewildered bullies that made quite a sound as both fell head first to the paved ground. Legolas surveyed to scene, barely wondering if he had not given a mortal blow to any of them when the cold realization crept to his heart. He didn't care. He walked speedily to the motel and just before entering in the lobby he remembered the blood on his face. He wouldn't be able to hid the fact he had been in a fight but he could at least clean up to lessen the worries and the lectures, he thought.
He headed to a station service near the motel forcing the door to enter and stared at his face, disgusted. He had tried years before to change his appearance with the help of wigs, make up, dye but all made pitiful result. He had gone through the white wig of the Renaissance, the dark gothic looks punks had, masks, bandages. The worst was that she thought it was quite amusing. The brat. A millennia in this place and it felt as if they were still in the first step at finding Aragorn, of course, they found clues that sustained their meager hope through the years, but they never came even close. Their search was too heavily weighting on them, Legolas knew he couldn't last much longer. The fact that a boat awaited him secured in a little house on the coast of Scotland did not help matter, but then the thought of making all these years futile by giving up, he couldn't help to think about their fathers faces, proud to be back home and to finally have the peace they all deserved.
Legolas picked up the rude brown paper and wet it while the cold water ran from the faucet that was far too rusty to allow a clear water through, but he learned not to care. He erased as much traces as he could, tugging on a few strands of hair at the end to cover the wounds. With one last look he swore to himself like he did every night, I will find you Estel. He closed the light and shut the door bracing himself from her reaction.
Knowing Arwen, it was going be quite nasty.
Thank you to: Araanaz my sister for being in a way my own Legolas. Thanks to Cassia, Siobhan, Scribe, Rachel Perez, Down the Rabbit Hole and many others for writing the stories that could have been, might have been with Aragorn and Legolas.
Notes: Legolas right before entering Valinor has a vision that he left Estel behind in terrible pain and pursue a dark journey for their friendship. No slash in this story however.
The title is taken from the back vocal of "Beautiful Day" from U2 when Bono says "You thought you find a friend to take you out of this place, someone you could lend a hand in return for grace."
Elvish translation taken without permission from www.grey-company.org
Always By Tori
He stared at the reflection in the mirror and cursed it.
It was his face that was responsible for his bloody lip and the pain in his stomach, he cursed his blond locks that fell just below the ears, he cursed his porcelain skin, he cursed his ever changing eyes that went from the amazing blue that reminded him of the sea to the dark brown of the oak tree. He cursed especially the carefully hidden pointy ears, years ago he pondered at having them cut, he could easily find someone, some shady doctor to apply some hot sterilized knife and make it roundish like every other human.
He laughed bitterly still staring at himself in the mirror but the corner of his mouth turned upside down, even laughing like a psychopath he was still one of the most beautiful being in this world. And yet, even if he despised it, he couldn't leave.
He could still hear the gull's cry calling him. He had stepped with his best friend on a journey knowing he would have to leave his brother behind, he had done so with a light feet and slightly heavy heart, the thoughts of seeing his family again, to see the beauty of the Valar had haunted him.
He was a few feet from the shore, laughing heartily had Gimli's attempts to make himself presentable for the Queen of the Elves, Galadriel when it hit him. A strange but sudden feeling that immediately made him turn around his eyes peering from the invisible shore of MiddleEarth.
The intense feeling of pain and hurt. He turned around at the fog surrounding the boat like a cloak. The weather was warm and the sight of Valinor was inviting but something just made him stare at the gray clouds for an answer. He stared hard for a minute and just when he was going to turn at Gimlis antics he saw a shadow. A few meters away was a formation of rocks that held nothing particular a few moments ago. Legolas concentrated to see a shadow that was slowly growing as a shape. It was clear though who the figure on the rocks was, the reflection of his brother sitting on a rock looking as young as he did when he was a mere ranger, they locked eyes and kept it until his brother silently fell headfirst in the shady waters. Without looking back, without thinking he plunged his mind racing with the name "Estel".
The coldness of the water hit him making him feel numb, he, as an elf, never felt much of the weather except in extreme condition. Every elves were somewhat impervious to cold or heat, but now seeing noting but the grayness of the underwater he felt a chill that took a long moment to place from his memory. He stood still in the water his eagle like sight watching right ahead for a sign of Estel, but there seemed to be nothing in front of him just the cold waters. He swam back to the surface finally placing the feeling that burgeoned in him, it was as if he was back on the path of the Dead with Aragorn and the company.
He glanced back at Gimli who was now standing at the shore the boat was empty, surrounded by familiar faces lost through the Ages. Beside him were Elrond, his eyes questioning next to Thranduil whose face mirrored his Nordor compatriot.
-"I have to go." He stated simply, his eyes were searching the faces from the Fellowship, Gimli's face was red and he seemed incapable of speaking, Gandalf nodded once accepting, Frodo whispered a small prayer but it was in Sam's eyes that he saw the truth. Never leave anyone behind, never hesitate for your friend. Sam had traveled into the depth of Mordor to be a friend, to save his brother-in-arm. It was in Sam's eyes he see the strength he needed to swim back to the shore. He smiled briefly and his lips muttered: "Namarie" as he said farewell to his family and his universe, it might possibly be the last time he'd ever set eyes on the place, he might be haunted for the rest of his life by the pull of the West, but the vision of Estel drowning was the worst nightmare.
He plunged into the murky waters, even if he knew he had to do it, he couldn't bear the sight of his father and was it his mother that was standing a bit on the left? He pushed the thoughts away as he moved his arms and legs using all the strength he possess to push him as far as he could. There was no room was regrets or he would turn back, he had fought so much the best years with the defeat of Sauron and had seen Middle-Earth grow to a place that could survive without the Eldar race. He had made his peace so many years ago, he had prepared to leave the roots that saw him grow. He left precious friend behind in the presence of Faramir, Eowyn, Eomer, Lothlriel, Merry, Pippin to name a few and their children he had grew fond of. He left the beauty of Eryn Lasgalen, the memories of his native lands, the songs the leaves sang he knew by heart.
He left Estel and Arwen in the Palace of Gondor.
He had waited until the end, or so he thought. He had sat by the king's bedside, ignored the gray strands in his childhood best friend's raven lock. Consoled the prince heir that reminded him so much of Aragorn he almost wept once. He could remember it so vividly, he had sat a morning with Aragorn who was sleeping after a coughing fit that seized him the evening before. Aragorn had joked a bit with his best friend as they took turn telling tales of their adventures to Aragorn's youngest daughter who had, sick with worry, woken to the sound of her father's coughing. She stopped her mother from going as the Queen's dark circle under her eyes attested to much of the pain and stress she was feeling. Legolas and Estel exchanged looks as they heard the hushed conversation outside the room, Aragorn's face carried so much guilt. He loved Arwen dearly and to know the unbearable pain she had was because of him hurt him beyond words.
-"It's a small price to pay, Aragorn." Muttered Legolas leaning forward as they heard Arwen's footsteps backing away and the door of the room she was staying in. Seeing Aragorn's confused glance, he added: "Insomnia." They shared a bitter smile, they both knew it wasn't the price to pay even if it was one of the consequence of watching someone dear dying slowly. They looked up as the door opened and the youngest of the Telcontar House was standing.
She had stepped in the room to see her father propped against the bed, half sitting a mug of mead in his hand and a guilty look in his eyes, next to him on a chair sat Legolas who leaned back . She hesitated before stepping further in the room.
-"Ada, she said using the elvish affectionate term, you should be sleeping." She reprimanded sounding so much like her mother as well as looking like her, she had the white porcelain skin, the black locks though a few shades paler then Undomiel
-"Mela en'coiamin !" Cried out Aragorn a bit louder he should have, Legolas winced a bit but watched with a smiled as the young maiden blushed, Estel still had even on his deathbed a charm that made the female blush but who wouldn't at being called the equivalent of love of my life.
At the triumphant grin an the Edain's face, Legolas nodded and rose from his seat, he walked to the girl he remembered clearly holding in his hands years ago, yet not so long.
-"Milady, please do not blame your father for this indulgence, we have been merely passing the times together lost in old memories." Legolas said gently ignoring Estel's groan as his daughter was completely enamored in the Elf's speech.
-"Of..of course not Master Legolas. I did not mean to intrude in this gathering." Stammered the princess blushing even harder not noticing Legolas threw a smile that clearly said "I've got it better then you."
-"Antolle ulua sulrim, havo dad Legolas." Said Estel far too fast for his Gondorian raised daughter to understand, even if both her parents carefully educated their children to speak the Grey Tongue.
-"Sit down too Melamin, listen a bit about the folly your father made in his youth." Estel said before taking a sip of his mug, his daughter timidly sat at the foot of the bed sitting with her elbows propped on her knees cupping her face. Her eyes wide open as she listened to the story, she had fallen asleep a bit later on as she curled up to her father and Legolas watched with melancholy Aragorn caressing her hair. Having been in no hurry to find a mate like the way of the elves taking their time doing everything or so it seemed for Aragorn and Gimli. And being quite a young one compared to his peers, Legolas never thought of having children of his own. But watching his dearest friends enjoy the pleasures and suffer the pain of parenthood he felt a little thug in his heart not to know it first hand. But then the thought always came to him, "when I will be in valinor I will then start a family."
And now he was in a hellhole cursing his wounds. He knew he couldn't be long, she was waiting for him after all. He had promised himself years ago that he wouldn't let anything harmful come her way. Her strength had dimmed with the ages and sometimes it seemed she lost also her mind. They had surprised him, he who had the superiority and the wisdom of his years, and he felt every singly years he had spent roaming the land, especially now. They were 5 men, large men that resemble hybrid with the Orcs and the race of men. Drawing colored their skins with symbols of death and pain, leather and spikes covered their bodies more then necessary in the hot air. She had been ill earlier and Legolas had been alone all day gathering everything he needed to help, he had felt their stare on his body ever since he entered the shop near the bar where they were hanging. He heard their insults at his overly fair looks and his clothes, he grew to like silk now that leather was mostly associated with dangerous group. As an elf, and even more as a royal elf he was used to nice dressing at his fathers palace, the rest of his life carried too much risk and adventures for him to indulge in fine clothing, but in these days, he could. He wasn't aware of the combination of his ear long almost platinum blond hair bleached by the hot Californian sun and his porcelain skin that refused to tan made him a target. In this age, gracefulness in a man was associated with a lesser being when millennia ago it was the opposite, in these days, it was a target for the hatred men carried. Legolas was simply too handsome, too perfect, he was an elf.
She needed him.
They corned him and used a crude language to describe things even with his knowledge he couldn't even fathom what they were talking about. And before he could skive or slide the first blow knocked him, it took him a few minutes to retaliate or just to simply understand. He had reflexes beyond their comprehension, but he had a growing weariness that made him feel sometime almost human. Two men grabbed his arms and placated him to the brick wall as the three others blocked the view from passers by, the leader in the middle cracking his knuckles with glee. Legolas felt a darkness around him that echoed the battles of the war of the ring, only creatures from Mordor could have so much happiness in their eyes at hurting another being. Legolas knew how cruel mankind could be but to see true evil reflecting as a burning flame in the iris of a man twice in size inch away was petrifying. The fist hit the stomach three times pausing after every take to accentuate the pain, at the third the nagging thought crept back.
"She needs you."
The two lackeys held his arms held him a bit higher so he couldn't double over and doing this allowed the leader free access to bruise his face as he did several hard slaps on the face with the heavy rings turned on the side of the palms to leave more marks while the two who were guarding started to laugh. Threats and insults floated around, most of them in a slang that even if the elves were the ones that taught the humans languages were too much a reminiscent of the dark tongue that it made legolas wince harder. His vision started to get blurry with the blood trickling from a forehead wound and the blows to his stomach were harder as the man used more strength. On a human the blows could have been fatal.
"He needs you."
On that thought Legolas got simply bored, he was more then a seasoned soldier and assassin to get beaten by a group of Orcs imitators. He bent hard so violently that the men holding him dropped him, he curled into a ball rolling once and sprung back on his feet knocking as hard he could the leader that fell on the ground, he spun a kick that made one guard crash into the other delivered two blows in the head on the bewildered bullies that made quite a sound as both fell head first to the paved ground. Legolas surveyed to scene, barely wondering if he had not given a mortal blow to any of them when the cold realization crept to his heart. He didn't care. He walked speedily to the motel and just before entering in the lobby he remembered the blood on his face. He wouldn't be able to hid the fact he had been in a fight but he could at least clean up to lessen the worries and the lectures, he thought.
He headed to a station service near the motel forcing the door to enter and stared at his face, disgusted. He had tried years before to change his appearance with the help of wigs, make up, dye but all made pitiful result. He had gone through the white wig of the Renaissance, the dark gothic looks punks had, masks, bandages. The worst was that she thought it was quite amusing. The brat. A millennia in this place and it felt as if they were still in the first step at finding Aragorn, of course, they found clues that sustained their meager hope through the years, but they never came even close. Their search was too heavily weighting on them, Legolas knew he couldn't last much longer. The fact that a boat awaited him secured in a little house on the coast of Scotland did not help matter, but then the thought of making all these years futile by giving up, he couldn't help to think about their fathers faces, proud to be back home and to finally have the peace they all deserved.
Legolas picked up the rude brown paper and wet it while the cold water ran from the faucet that was far too rusty to allow a clear water through, but he learned not to care. He erased as much traces as he could, tugging on a few strands of hair at the end to cover the wounds. With one last look he swore to himself like he did every night, I will find you Estel. He closed the light and shut the door bracing himself from her reaction.
Knowing Arwen, it was going be quite nasty.
