Disclaimer: I don't make any money from writing this. If I did the people
at marvel are scraping the bottom of the barrel. Oh. I don't own the X-
Men. They belong to Marvel. But if you (Marvel) ever want to sell them,
call me. Give me Gambit at least.
Girls Just Wanna Have Fun, Part 2.
Bail and Insanity
"Hello? You have reached Mrs. McCoy's bouncing baby boy. I am currently having a mental break down so please leave a message after the sob. *Sob*."
"Gee, yer funny." Came a sloshy southern accent.
"Rogue???" Hank asked sitting up straight. "What are you doing?"
"Ah'm talking ta you."
Hank rolled his eyes. "I am aware of that..."
She broke in. "Then why'd ya ask?"
"I simply meant. where. are. you?" He asked it slowly as if he were talking to a child.
"Ah. am. in. jail." She answered in the same slow manner.
He looked up at the ceiling. "What did I do to deserve this fate?"
"Huh?"
"Nothing Rogue. Uh. where are the guys?"
"That Ah don't know. You know what else Ah don't know? Why don't you get more skin? You could always get a waxin'."
He rolled his eyes as she continued. He placed his eyes back on the ceiling. "I bet you're finding this funny." He turned his attention back to the phone call. "Rogue?"
"Yes Mr. Man Meat?"
"Do you need me to bail you guys out?"
"Yep! But don't hurry; there are a lot of hot guys in here. Hey one looks like Remy. Do you think that they're related?" There was a pause. "Ah have to go. But before Ah go Ah have a question for you."
"What?" He asked and immediately regretted it.
"Whose penis is bigger? Yours, Logan's or Peter's?"
He hung up and returned his gaze to the ceiling. "I hate you, I hate you, I hate you."
~*~*~*~
Rogue made suggestive eye movements to the police officer that led her back to her cell.
Ororo rolled her eyes as the southern belle entered the cell. "You are ridiculous."
Betsy shrugged as she leaned back (from where she sat on the cell floor) to get a better look at the retreating cop. "That may be, but she has fine taste in guys. I wonder if he's attached to anyone."
"It doesn't matter!" Kitty said sharply. "Because you are!!! I, on the hand, am very single and very interested." Jean rolled her eyes. "I'm bored. What should we do?"
They all thought a moment before Kitty jumped to her feet. "I know! I know! Let's play eye spy!" They started to boo her.
"What?" She asked. "Would you prefer Simon Says?"
~*~*~*~
"This is so stupid." Bobby said with a grin as he stood with his fellow male X-Men by Warren's broken limo. "Hey! I have a riddle for you. How many X-Men does it take to fix a car? The answer. more than we presently have."
Logan growled at him. "Well, it'd be a lot easier if we didn't have to thaw the rad out Snow Man."
"What??? It was on fire!!"
Remy gave Bobby an evil eye. "You're not helping homme."
"I don't see you lending a hand Gumbo. What do you plan to do? Strip down to a G-String and thrust your pelvis in it's general direction?"
Gambit picked up a wrench and started to charge it. Peter grabbed the wrench from him and hit him on the head (knocking him down) as Warren reached out with his wing and smacked Bobby, making him stumble in a drunken like daze.
They both looked at Scott innocently. "What?" They asked in unison.
Scott shook his head as he went back to work on the limo.
~*~*~*~
Hank had wished he had taken an extra Tylenol as he drove the five drunken women home. He grabbed his cell phone away from Kitty when she wanted to order a pizza. He dialed a number and waited a moment.
"Hello?" Remy's voice tiredly asked.
"Hey." Beast grumbled.
Kitty's face lit up. "Make it a big one." She said when she thought Hank was ordering her a pizza.
He looked at her. "I'm talking to Remy."
"Well, he defiantly has a big one." Rogue said with a smile that caused the girls to giggle and Beast to grumble something inaudible.
"Was dat Rogue?" Gambit asked.
"Yeah. I have the girls. What's taking you so long?" He asked as he tried to keep the phone away from Betsy.
"De limo's broke."
Betsy finally succeeded in taking the phone from Hank. "Hey Gumbo."
"Betsy?"
"You bet your sweet ass it is. Hey Remy did you know that you are on the top of our, meaning Rogue's, Kitty's, Jean's, Ororo's and mine most doable list?"
"Really chere?"
Betsy nodded. "Oh yeah."
Jean then grabbed the phone from Betsy. "Hey Remy! Whatz u-u-u-u-upppp? Oh wait, is it you?" They then all started laughing harder before Kitty's voice replaced Jean's.
"Hello-o-o-o Nurse!!!"
"Sorry bout that Remy," Ororo said in a slurred tone.
"It's okay Chere."
"Will you tell me something?"
"Sure chere."
"Are you as big as Rogue said? Cause you know she had good things to say about you, Mr. Man Meat." The giggling again began and they accidentally hung up on Gambit.
From the front seat Hank felt like banging his head against the steering wheel.
~*~*~*~
When Gambit heard the dial tone he shut the phone off with a grin.
"What did you learn?" Warren asked.
"You mean besides de fact dat I'm on de top of de chere's 'most doable list'?"
All action to fix the limo stopped as all the men looked at the smiling Cajun.
"You're what?" Logan asked.
Remy nodded. "Yup. Betsy told me herself. If you want I can call her back and get her ta tell ya herself."
Bobby crossed his arms. "You are not!" Remy nodded. "Higher than Tweety?" Remy nodded. "Higher than Logan? Higher than Peter?" Remy again nodded. "What about Scott?" Remy nodded as his smiled widened. "Whoa! I know a few guys who are gonna talk to their girls once they sober up."
Scott clenched his jaw as Warren shook a wrench at the younger man.
"Wonder how I scored." Bobby said as he walked away from the other X- Men.
Warren looked at Logan. "Who we going to kill first? Bobby? Or Remy?"
~*~*~*~
"Well. Iz the buyz that builds the boat," all five girls yelled from the moving vehicle, "Iz the buyz that sails her, Iz the buyz that catches the fish and brings 'em home to Lizer."
Hank left nail marks into the steering wheel that would never come out as Betsy suggested they sing it again, for the twenty-third time and counting.
"Dead." Hank said between gritted teeth, "They will die slow and painfully for what they did. These women are going to send me to the mad house yet. Those guys are going to pay. bloody, bloody, slow, torturous deaths. No one will ever find their bodies. Ever." During his mad ranting Hank had developed an eye twitch as well as the attention of the female occupants of the car.
They started laughing when Jean crossed her eyes and twirled her index finger around her temple. Hank cringed when the others copied the movement. His grip on the steering wheel grew tighter as he imagined it to be one of his male teammates.
Hank looked up at the sky. "You've made the list too buddy. Right after Scott! Tell me that they would behave. yeah right. behave my ahhh!" His new rant was cut short when he noticed the naked rear end of one of the X- Women through the side mirror. It was Rogue's. The other women in the car were rooting her on.
Hank said a silent prayer as the gates to Xavier's School for the Gifted came into sight. Yes, he was defiantly getting his revenge.
~*~*~*~
A cheer went out through the men as the limo started.
"Alright," Warren grinned as he climbed behind the wheel, "Since Hank picked up the girls, lets head home."
"Do you t'ink dere will be a home left homme?" Remy asked.
"Maybe we should bring Beast home some Twinkies." Bobby said. "I mean to smooth over any harm that us leaving him alone with the girls might have caused. I don't know about the rest of you but I don't want to deal with a Beast who's hell bent on payback."
Scott looked at him. "Hank is a genus, Bobby, he is not one to settle childish scores."
~*~*~*~
Beast laughed with crazed lunacy as he exited the last of the men's bedrooms. After he locked the drunken women up in the containment area he had immediately gone to work.
"Revenge is a dish best served cold, and I'm eating all I can; boy does it taste good. Sort of like chicken. Ummm, chicken." all of a sudden Hank's twitch came back as he moved towards the stairs, ranting all the way about chicken and other cold dishes.
~*~*~*~
The mansion was dark and quiet when the limo pulled up to the house. On the door was a letter.
Bobby picked it up and read it out loud. "'Dear Men of the X, your dear female counterparts are in the containment area sleeping off the effects of their overindulgence in alcoholic beverages. I'm in the lab, trying to concoct a way to revert the said women back into their previous mind, complete with mutant abilities. Please, do not disturb the girls, or me and go to bed. I have a feeling that tomorrow will be a trying and exasperating day. Mrs. McCoy's bouncing baby boy.' Why can't he say it like everyone else? Leave us alone, go to bed cause tomorrow's going to be a hell of a day."
They shrugged as they slowly entered the mansion and made their way up to their bedrooms.
When the last of them were upstairs Beast emerged from the kitchen wearing a strainer on his head and pots and pans tied to his body as armour. He had a laugh that could be compared to that of Homer Simpson during a crazy spell.
"Dead, dead. Oh, yes, yes, yes. Bwa-ha-ha-ha-ha. They will tremble before me." He then moved like Igor from Frankenstein towards the sub- basement lab to watch his handiwork from the surveillance cameras that he had set up.
~* Next. Beast gets his revenge. How? Its up to you. Basically.. I'm out of ideas and need more. Please help if you can.*~
Girls Just Wanna Have Fun, Part 2.
Bail and Insanity
"Hello? You have reached Mrs. McCoy's bouncing baby boy. I am currently having a mental break down so please leave a message after the sob. *Sob*."
"Gee, yer funny." Came a sloshy southern accent.
"Rogue???" Hank asked sitting up straight. "What are you doing?"
"Ah'm talking ta you."
Hank rolled his eyes. "I am aware of that..."
She broke in. "Then why'd ya ask?"
"I simply meant. where. are. you?" He asked it slowly as if he were talking to a child.
"Ah. am. in. jail." She answered in the same slow manner.
He looked up at the ceiling. "What did I do to deserve this fate?"
"Huh?"
"Nothing Rogue. Uh. where are the guys?"
"That Ah don't know. You know what else Ah don't know? Why don't you get more skin? You could always get a waxin'."
He rolled his eyes as she continued. He placed his eyes back on the ceiling. "I bet you're finding this funny." He turned his attention back to the phone call. "Rogue?"
"Yes Mr. Man Meat?"
"Do you need me to bail you guys out?"
"Yep! But don't hurry; there are a lot of hot guys in here. Hey one looks like Remy. Do you think that they're related?" There was a pause. "Ah have to go. But before Ah go Ah have a question for you."
"What?" He asked and immediately regretted it.
"Whose penis is bigger? Yours, Logan's or Peter's?"
He hung up and returned his gaze to the ceiling. "I hate you, I hate you, I hate you."
~*~*~*~
Rogue made suggestive eye movements to the police officer that led her back to her cell.
Ororo rolled her eyes as the southern belle entered the cell. "You are ridiculous."
Betsy shrugged as she leaned back (from where she sat on the cell floor) to get a better look at the retreating cop. "That may be, but she has fine taste in guys. I wonder if he's attached to anyone."
"It doesn't matter!" Kitty said sharply. "Because you are!!! I, on the hand, am very single and very interested." Jean rolled her eyes. "I'm bored. What should we do?"
They all thought a moment before Kitty jumped to her feet. "I know! I know! Let's play eye spy!" They started to boo her.
"What?" She asked. "Would you prefer Simon Says?"
~*~*~*~
"This is so stupid." Bobby said with a grin as he stood with his fellow male X-Men by Warren's broken limo. "Hey! I have a riddle for you. How many X-Men does it take to fix a car? The answer. more than we presently have."
Logan growled at him. "Well, it'd be a lot easier if we didn't have to thaw the rad out Snow Man."
"What??? It was on fire!!"
Remy gave Bobby an evil eye. "You're not helping homme."
"I don't see you lending a hand Gumbo. What do you plan to do? Strip down to a G-String and thrust your pelvis in it's general direction?"
Gambit picked up a wrench and started to charge it. Peter grabbed the wrench from him and hit him on the head (knocking him down) as Warren reached out with his wing and smacked Bobby, making him stumble in a drunken like daze.
They both looked at Scott innocently. "What?" They asked in unison.
Scott shook his head as he went back to work on the limo.
~*~*~*~
Hank had wished he had taken an extra Tylenol as he drove the five drunken women home. He grabbed his cell phone away from Kitty when she wanted to order a pizza. He dialed a number and waited a moment.
"Hello?" Remy's voice tiredly asked.
"Hey." Beast grumbled.
Kitty's face lit up. "Make it a big one." She said when she thought Hank was ordering her a pizza.
He looked at her. "I'm talking to Remy."
"Well, he defiantly has a big one." Rogue said with a smile that caused the girls to giggle and Beast to grumble something inaudible.
"Was dat Rogue?" Gambit asked.
"Yeah. I have the girls. What's taking you so long?" He asked as he tried to keep the phone away from Betsy.
"De limo's broke."
Betsy finally succeeded in taking the phone from Hank. "Hey Gumbo."
"Betsy?"
"You bet your sweet ass it is. Hey Remy did you know that you are on the top of our, meaning Rogue's, Kitty's, Jean's, Ororo's and mine most doable list?"
"Really chere?"
Betsy nodded. "Oh yeah."
Jean then grabbed the phone from Betsy. "Hey Remy! Whatz u-u-u-u-upppp? Oh wait, is it you?" They then all started laughing harder before Kitty's voice replaced Jean's.
"Hello-o-o-o Nurse!!!"
"Sorry bout that Remy," Ororo said in a slurred tone.
"It's okay Chere."
"Will you tell me something?"
"Sure chere."
"Are you as big as Rogue said? Cause you know she had good things to say about you, Mr. Man Meat." The giggling again began and they accidentally hung up on Gambit.
From the front seat Hank felt like banging his head against the steering wheel.
~*~*~*~
When Gambit heard the dial tone he shut the phone off with a grin.
"What did you learn?" Warren asked.
"You mean besides de fact dat I'm on de top of de chere's 'most doable list'?"
All action to fix the limo stopped as all the men looked at the smiling Cajun.
"You're what?" Logan asked.
Remy nodded. "Yup. Betsy told me herself. If you want I can call her back and get her ta tell ya herself."
Bobby crossed his arms. "You are not!" Remy nodded. "Higher than Tweety?" Remy nodded. "Higher than Logan? Higher than Peter?" Remy again nodded. "What about Scott?" Remy nodded as his smiled widened. "Whoa! I know a few guys who are gonna talk to their girls once they sober up."
Scott clenched his jaw as Warren shook a wrench at the younger man.
"Wonder how I scored." Bobby said as he walked away from the other X- Men.
Warren looked at Logan. "Who we going to kill first? Bobby? Or Remy?"
~*~*~*~
"Well. Iz the buyz that builds the boat," all five girls yelled from the moving vehicle, "Iz the buyz that sails her, Iz the buyz that catches the fish and brings 'em home to Lizer."
Hank left nail marks into the steering wheel that would never come out as Betsy suggested they sing it again, for the twenty-third time and counting.
"Dead." Hank said between gritted teeth, "They will die slow and painfully for what they did. These women are going to send me to the mad house yet. Those guys are going to pay. bloody, bloody, slow, torturous deaths. No one will ever find their bodies. Ever." During his mad ranting Hank had developed an eye twitch as well as the attention of the female occupants of the car.
They started laughing when Jean crossed her eyes and twirled her index finger around her temple. Hank cringed when the others copied the movement. His grip on the steering wheel grew tighter as he imagined it to be one of his male teammates.
Hank looked up at the sky. "You've made the list too buddy. Right after Scott! Tell me that they would behave. yeah right. behave my ahhh!" His new rant was cut short when he noticed the naked rear end of one of the X- Women through the side mirror. It was Rogue's. The other women in the car were rooting her on.
Hank said a silent prayer as the gates to Xavier's School for the Gifted came into sight. Yes, he was defiantly getting his revenge.
~*~*~*~
A cheer went out through the men as the limo started.
"Alright," Warren grinned as he climbed behind the wheel, "Since Hank picked up the girls, lets head home."
"Do you t'ink dere will be a home left homme?" Remy asked.
"Maybe we should bring Beast home some Twinkies." Bobby said. "I mean to smooth over any harm that us leaving him alone with the girls might have caused. I don't know about the rest of you but I don't want to deal with a Beast who's hell bent on payback."
Scott looked at him. "Hank is a genus, Bobby, he is not one to settle childish scores."
~*~*~*~
Beast laughed with crazed lunacy as he exited the last of the men's bedrooms. After he locked the drunken women up in the containment area he had immediately gone to work.
"Revenge is a dish best served cold, and I'm eating all I can; boy does it taste good. Sort of like chicken. Ummm, chicken." all of a sudden Hank's twitch came back as he moved towards the stairs, ranting all the way about chicken and other cold dishes.
~*~*~*~
The mansion was dark and quiet when the limo pulled up to the house. On the door was a letter.
Bobby picked it up and read it out loud. "'Dear Men of the X, your dear female counterparts are in the containment area sleeping off the effects of their overindulgence in alcoholic beverages. I'm in the lab, trying to concoct a way to revert the said women back into their previous mind, complete with mutant abilities. Please, do not disturb the girls, or me and go to bed. I have a feeling that tomorrow will be a trying and exasperating day. Mrs. McCoy's bouncing baby boy.' Why can't he say it like everyone else? Leave us alone, go to bed cause tomorrow's going to be a hell of a day."
They shrugged as they slowly entered the mansion and made their way up to their bedrooms.
When the last of them were upstairs Beast emerged from the kitchen wearing a strainer on his head and pots and pans tied to his body as armour. He had a laugh that could be compared to that of Homer Simpson during a crazy spell.
"Dead, dead. Oh, yes, yes, yes. Bwa-ha-ha-ha-ha. They will tremble before me." He then moved like Igor from Frankenstein towards the sub- basement lab to watch his handiwork from the surveillance cameras that he had set up.
~* Next. Beast gets his revenge. How? Its up to you. Basically.. I'm out of ideas and need more. Please help if you can.*~
