Well, here you are chappies. Another chapter for you to read. I hope you enjoy it.
Myr Halcyon: Thank you for yet another brilliant review. I'm glad someone is reading this. Hagrid is so horrible to write, you know what he wants to say but getting it right is so hard – I hated his speech but I'd played around with it so much I gave in! Ooh, I'm a movie buff too!!!!! You should see the collection we have at home!!!! Everything from the Addams Family to Zulu! Remus was speaking to Sirius up in heaven. *Collective aww* It's set after book five so it's Harry's sixth year. I prefer to write in canon rather than changing what's already there. It's easier to follow characters on then, rather than go back and work out where they were at that point in time physically and emotionally. And as for if there's anymore I've got a small shock in store for you because it's not over by a long shot!!!!!
Chapter Twelve – Conflicts Of Emotion
Setting up the Christmas decoration was a lot more fun than she ever thought. A lot of the teachers had joined in as did some of the prefects who weren't busy. Tonks and Kingsley were there helping which caused quite a bit of amusement, especially when Tonks wasn't watching what she was levitating up onto the tree – too busy talking - until she heard Professor Flitwick's cries of 'put me down!' And she'd also tried to be helpful by moving one of the trees that had been placed in the wrong place. But she once again got distracted by something and promptly dropped the tree, decoration and all, straight onto Kingsley and Remus, who disappeared beneath the branches. They managed to crawl out from under it though, looking very dishevelled and covered in twigs and pine needles, causing the people in the hall to fall about laughing.
Sunday, a supposed quiet day, came and went in a flurry of snowball fights, snow angels and snowmen competitions in which you weren't allowed to use magic in any way to help you. By Sunday night everyone was exhausted and slept peacefully.
On the Monday Dumbledore had gone to see her and told her he'd sorted out a room for her so she didn't have to stay in the hospital wing any longer, and after lunch he led her to the second floor.
*****
Following him down the corridor, Dumbledore soon stopped at a door about three quarters of the way down the second corridor. He opened it and showed her in. It was a relatively large room with a king sized bed, wardrobe, table, chest of drawers, desk, shelves and an en suite bathroom with a bath the size of the prefects on, taps included. She thanked Dumbledore, who left her to unpack the belongings that Sally and Dave and send over when she arrived along with more items she'd asked for from her apartment.
She unpacked the newer items first, stacking the empty shelves with books, parchment, quills, potions, toiletries and every other item she'd asked for, then moved onto her clothes. It wasn't until she went to put away her socks that she got a shock. She'd reached for the top drawer when the chest suddenly shook. She pulled her hand back, eyes wide, and stood still for a moment. The drawer rattled again and she realised what it was.
"Damn Boggart."
She muttered, grabbing her wand from the shelf. It had been a while since she'd dealt with one. Having lived in a muggle made home, she'd never really had to worry about it in her apartment – they didn't appear to like the muggle smell. Sally and Dave's house, however, always seemed to have one Boggart or another.
Every time she'd ever dealt with them, it had always changed into the same thing. The necklace. She could remember the first time very well. It had taken her a moment to work out what she was seeing when she'd looked down at the floor and saw the necklace gleaming around the neck of her dead father. She had screamed and collapsed, to the chock of the whole class, and her teacher had had to deal with it. But she'd long since dealt with those feelings and had become efficient in removing the Boggart.
Gripping the rattling handle she pulled open the draw and stepped back, wand ready. She looked down, prepared to deal with the image of her father and the necklace, but was knocked for six at what she saw on the floor.
She stumbled back, stuttering slightly as she tried to say the counter curse but couldn't get the words out. She stepped back into the wall and slid down slowly, trying to deal with what she was seeing. It was the last thing she had ever expected, something she hadn't thought about consciously but was now bombarding her mind.
*****
Down in the Great Hall, Remus was slowly eating his dinner and keeping an eye out for Kaitlyn who had said she was going to come down to join him. Figuring she'd probably just forgotten the time, he quickly finished his own meal, filled a plate up with some food for Kaitlyn and left the hall.
Reaching her room, he knocked gently. No answer. He knocked again, louder this time just in case she hadn't heard.
"Kaitlyn? It's me Remus."
No answer. He knocked again even louder, then listened carefully. His sensitive hearing picked up a muffled word and without thinking he shoved open the door, worried for her. He'd taken a couple of steps before stopping dead in his tracks at the sight. He was staring down at himself, his own dead eyes staring back at him. For a moment his head spun, trying to work out what surreal world he'd just entered. The whole thing unnerved him. Then he heard a sound behind him. He turned and saw Kaitlyn on the floor against the wall, hugging her knees, her wand on the floor beside her.
"Kaitlyn?"
He put the plate down on the desk and pulled out his wand. In a moment his body had turned into a full moon before vanishing altogether. Then he strode over to Kaitlyn and bent down in front of her.
"Kaitlyn."
"It changed. It was meant to be the necklace."
She mumbled, not looking at him. He noticed her shaking slightly.
"It's okay Kaitlyn, it's gone."
She looked up at him and stared.
"Are you okay?"
He asked. She nodded.
"I'm fine. I'm fine. I just...it's always been a necklace. Always. I could deal with a necklace. But not that."
"I'm not going to die Kaitlyn. It's not something I'm planning on doing right now."
He humoured, trying to lighten the mood.
"That's what threw me. It's not something I've ever really thought about. Why would it change into that when my worst fear was always the necklace – and still is."
"Only you can answer that. Maybe because you know that both necklaces have been destroyed you subconsciously don't fear it as much as you used to."
She shook her head slowly.
"No. I think I'll always fear it, because what's stopping there being more than two necklaces? There could be more out there, so I still fear it because I know what destruction it can bring, and because of the possibility of it happening again. So why did the Boggart change?"
"I don't know. Maybe...maybe because when you were under it's spell you almost killed me...maybe that's why you're seeing it, because instead of seeing the necklace, you're seeing what it can do. What I do know for definite is that I'm okay, and you're okay and both necklaces have been destroyed and can't hurt you anymore."
She looked up at him carefully.
"Promise me you're not going to die."
"I promise I'm not planning on dying anytime soon. I'll also promise you that as long as I'm here I'll protect you with everything I am. For a long as I can."
*****
Christmas snuck up on them very quickly. Harry and the Weasley's all stayed over the Christmas break but Hermione was jetting off to Hawaii with her family and there was no way she was going to miss that.
Early Christmas morning Remus was woken up by a small breeze in his ear and he opened his eyes and turned his head to see Kaitlyn kneeling on the floor next to his bed, having blown gently in his ear.
"'Bout time too." She whispered. "I've been kneeling here for ages!"
He rolled onto his side to face her, a smile on his face.
"Merry Christmas."
She said quietly.
"Merry Christmas to you too." He repeated. "What time is it?"
"'Bout 6.45."
He groaned. It was still so early so he rolled away from her and closed his eyes.
"Oh come on! It's Christmas Day!"
She stood up and jumped onto the bed, jolting him out of his almost doze, despite her cheerful tones.
"S'too early."
He mumbled burying his head in the pillow.
"No it's not! Not for Christmas. Besides you're awake now so you might as well get up and open your presents."
Kaitlyn slumped down into a seated position on the bed, legs crossed, and waited. He soon rolled onto his back and looked at her. She immediately leaned right forward and gave him a long kiss.
"Thank you for the bracelet."
She showed him the bracelet hanging delicately around her wrist.
"It's beautiful.
"I was going to get you a necklace but after the last one I didn't think it would be appropriate."
She laughed at that.
"That's very true. Now, come on – it's your turn to open presents."
He sat up and she passed him the presents from the end of the bed. She watched as a smile passed across his face and he ripped of the wrapping paper from his many presents with the appearance of an excited child, his eyes gleaming with glee when he was what was in them. Harry had bought him a huge box of chocolate frogs, Hermione and Ron had got him a book he hadn't read yet, Dumbledore had bought him some long multi-coloured socks which he stared at bewilderedly for a moment before looking up at Kaitlyn who replied with:
"I got the same thing – only they were blue and silver stripes."
He nodded, the confusion leaving him as he picked up the second to last present which was from Kaitlyn. With a smile he ripped into it, then pulled off the lid. Inside was a pensieve. It was slightly smaller than Dumbledore's but it still held the rune symbols around the outside. He stared up at her, his mouth open.
"I remember you saying how useful you found Dumbledore's so..."
"How did you get this? They're so rare...it must have cost a fortune."
She shrugged.
"I have connections...and money to spare."
He pulled her into a tight hug.
"Thank you so much..."
"You're welcome."
She smiled, her eyes closed as she rested her chin on his chest. They pulled away a moment later and she pushed a brown parcel towards him.
"One more present."
She said as he pulled the card from the top. He read it, a frown appearing on his face, then he looked down at the parcel, then back at the card.
"What?"
She asked.
"The cards from Mrs. Weasley. She says she found thr present, along with one for Harry."
"Who's it from?"
"...Sirius..."
"Your friend..."
He nodded, staring at the box.
"Well...open it. He obviously wanted you to have it."
She said with a small, gentle smile. He pulled the present closer and very carefully unwrapped it – making sure not to rip the paper, as if wanting to savour every moment of it. Then he carefully pulled off the lid and stared into the box.
"Oh Sirius..."
"What is it?"
"I thought we'd lost these."
"What?"
"It's his watch. James, Peter and I all chipped in to get him it – it's like Dumbledore's but smaller."
He explained as he carefully took it out of the box. She nodded, knowing Dumbledore's unusual 12 handed watch with planets.
"And the put-outer – came in very handy when sneaking around the corridors when we came here. I gave him that. I worked all summer to buy him that. He'd been going on about it for ages. I thought they were both lost when he went to prison. And..."
He looked shocked as he pulled out a key chain with large key.
"What's that for?"
He asked intrigued.
"His old motorbike. I gave it back to him when...when he moved back into Grimmauld place. Hagrid had given it to me a couple years ago."
"I didn't know you rode?"
"I don't. I guess this was his idea of a joke." He stared to laugh. "He knows I hated being on that thing! But Lord knows why he was giving it to me – he wouldn't let hardly anyone on it – let alone give it away."
He sat staring at the key. Kaitlyn watched him and knew he was feeling the grief wash through him again over losing Sirius for the second time. She slid closer and leaned into him, cuddling up to him comfortingly. He put an arm around her and pulled her in tight.
"What am I going to do with a motorbike?"
"You'll think of something. He probably decided that if he couldn't ride it anymore because he was wanted, then the next best person to have it would be you."
"I'd have thought Harry would have been a better choice."
"Yeah, but...the bike wouldn't mean as much to him as it does you. Because for you the bike is connected to Sirius, for Harry it's just something he knows Sirius owned."
"Yeah, you're right. Thanks Sirius."
He smiled, picking up the put-outer and randomly turning off the lights in his room one at a time.
*****
Christmas day moved slowly and pretty much uneventfully. At lunch time they all sat around a big table together instead of the teachers being up at the main table and they had many laughs. There wasn't many people that had stayed on that year. Harry, Ron and Ginny, and a couple of Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw students. Then there was Dumbledore, Remus, Kaitlyn, Tonks, Kingsley and Minerva. Snape was off on Order business.
Kaitlyn found herself once again, feeling like she was home. She'd never spent Christmas at Hogwarts before and she was loving it. Afterwards her and Remus went for a quiet, slow walk around the grounds. That was until they both got pelted from behind by a load of snowballs and turned to see everyone outside laughing at them. They gave each other a look, then a nod and quickly joined in, getting their own back.
It was well after dark when they all finally went in to clean up and have dinner. Then afterwards Remus and Kaitlyn went up to his room and crashed out on the sofa, completely content, full and sleepy.
Remus leaned back against the corner of the sofa and Kaitlyn sat next to him and leaned back into him, his arm going around her stomach.
"Are you happy Remus?"
She asked him.
"Happier than I've been in a long long time, yeah. In fact I don't think I've ever been this happy."
She could hear the smile in his voice, and she smiled herself, closing her eyes.
"You know...words can't express what I want to say to you...how I feel about you...is there a word stronger than love? Because what I'm feeling must make the world go around."
She opened her eyes and turned to face him, a shocked look on her face. He stared at her, before smiling sincerely.
"You mean that?"
"Yes." He said simply. "Every word. Things have just been perfect lately. I'm hoping it will stay that way."
Not knowing what to say, she just leaned into him instead and kissed him deeper and more meaningful than she had ever kissed anyone before. He responded just as deep, nothing gentleman like, a grab the bull by the horns kiss – intense. Her kiss deepened and he felt a hand slipping up under his shirt and round his back, holding onto his skin, pulling him closer. Time had stopped, the world stopped, their whole sense of being stopped.
All that was around him, all that he knew, is what he wanted, and who he wanted. He slipped his own hand through her robes and under her top, resting it on her bra strap at the back, pulling her down closer to him.
She suddenly stopped kissing him and he felt her hand leave his back. He opened his eyes and looked up at her. She was smiling again, a mischievous smile. She sat up, grabbing his hand and she pulled him to his feet. She took both hands and pulled him backwards until she felt her legs hit the bed.
She didn't utter a word and she didn't have to. He knew what she wanted and he knew that he wanted the same. He lowered her back onto the bed before leaning over her, bringing his mouth back down onto her.
*****
New year passed in a blur and soon enough the school was full of happy, laughing students, telling stories of their holidays and showing photos, and thanking people for gifts.
Kaitlyn had spent a lot of time in her shop, sorting out supplies and where everything was going etc. She'd changed the arrangement of furniture around a dozen times in every room, including her flat upstairs above the shop. Remus had been helping out a lot as had Tonks, Harry, Ron and Ginny. She couldn't wait to get the shop up and running.
Once school was back she was pretty much on her own in there unless Tonks decided to come along and help, although hinder might have been a better word. They'd had to vacate the place for almost a day when she'd knocked over a very strong bottle of bubotuber pus that caused a yellowish cloud to settle in the room, and a smell of petrol so strong it left the both of them coughing for ages.
*****
One night, half way through January Dumbledore got a knock on his door and Professor Snape entered looking very tired.
"Ah Severus. How did it go?"
"We have a problem, Professor. He's not happy. He wants revenge. And he wants me to come out into the open as being a death eater and join his ranks permanently."
"Ah, I was dreading that this moment was going to happen soon."
He paused, thinking to himself.
"Professor. I want to bring up that idea I had twelve years ago. The one you wouldn't let me go through with."
Dumbledore looked up at his determined face.
"The answer was no last time, and it will be no again this time. I will not sacrifice anyone even if they volunteer."
"If I don't come out into the open as he wishes then he will know I've been a double agent all this time and he won't stop until I'm dead. You know I'd never turn to him fully. I'd rather give my life for this cause than be killed while trying to hide. I will not hide. My idea is the only way out of this. Because then it won't matter, we'll have started a chain reaction that will weaken him enough to kill him."
Dumbledore watching the determination on his face and could see that he would not back down this time. Dumbledore hated to admit it but he was right this time. The only way was a sacrifice. But he wasn't sure if he wanted to sacrifice this person in order to win. Was one life worth the life of millions? He'd never really thought so. He would never sacrifice anyone for the good of all wizards. Fighting was different because it wasn't exactly sacrificing – he would never send anyone out knowing for definite that they would die. But looking at Severus now, and thinking about his idea there really was no other way. He just needed to know that this person would be completely willing to do this and looking around now he knew this to be true. This person would give everything to keep others alive.
"Take a seat Severus, tell me exactly what you have in mind, and what Voldemort is planning."
Severus nodded as he sat opposite the older Professor and began his plan. Once he'd finished Dumbledore didn't speak for a moment, just let it all sink in, before nodding.
"Would you go and find Remus for me and tell him I want to see him?"
He asked with a sad look in his eye as he looked at Severus, who nodded and turned and strode out of the room. Dumbledore placed his head in his hands and muttered to himself.
"What am I doing?"
"The only right thing."
A voice said. He looked up to see Phineas staring at him. Phineas noticed the extra lines on Dumbledore's face and once again remembered how old he actually was.
"He's right you know. The time has come. There are no other options."
"I know. But to stoop this low to get what we want..."
"You're not stooping low. If a person is willing to sacrifice themselves, then no amount of disagreement from you will stop them."
Dumbledore nodded again, stood and moved over to Fawkes, stroking the smooth feathers gently.
*****
Two hours later everything had been explained to Remus who sat there and stared from Dumbledore to Snape and back again.
"You really think this will work?"
"Yes."
Dumbledore replied.
"Okay then."
Dumbledore bowed his head slightly.
"What about Kaitlyn?"
"She will be okay. We can explain everything to her afterwards, she'll understand."
Remus looked sideways for a moment, trying to work out if she truly would and he came to the same conclusion. She would understand why, and why all the mystery. If Voldemort realised something was amiss then it could ruin everything so the less people that knew about it the better. He nodded again.
"What do I have to do?"
"Severus will explain everything."
Remus looked at Severus' set face and nodded again, before following him out of the room, taking one last glance at Dumbledore's sad face as he watched them leave.
Ah, now I bet that's left a few of you thinking. Who am I talking about? Who's going to be the Sacrifice? What's going to happen? Find out in the next exciting chapter of…ooh, sorry – watch too much TV. Stay tuned…no, no, that's from TV too…Oh well, watch this space…damn it! So's that! *Goes off to think of her own cool catchphrase.*
