Disclaimer just in case LOTR belongs to Tolkien and his heirs.
However like in Cassia and Sio not-so-little but wonderful universe,
Aragorn was raised in the house of Elrond, and it means he considered him
his father and Elladan and Elrohir his siblings.
Notes- okay, the last chapter was too long and I introduce a cameo and a villain.and it is so hard to write, mostly due to my keyboard who is half broken. So It is far more work then I anticipated. But worth it, I guess. Thank you to penpunk.gosh I feel like I have a fan, you are so great thank you. Araanaz, you notice the Jill thing huh, well, here I am writing the next chapter after less than 24 hours. I deserve it okay.
Inspiration of this chapter is from the movie "Benny and Joon." The fact that Valinor on the planet is situated somewhere in the north between America and Europe is from Scribe's wonderful universe. Go read "Maedhros", it is one of the best fic these days. Please do not e-mail at that address it is a fictitious one.
Chapter 5 *In the maze of her imagination*
He had sat in the car for half an hour, maybe more, they didn't make it for the flight they had wanted, they took the next one. Legolas was still reeling from the nightmare he had, it was one of the worst one, and it was probably due to the fact it wasn't a nightmare. It was a memory. Except that the corpse of the sorcerer had not risen from the dead, despite his great power he was not immortal. He was not an elf, nor an Istari nor an orc. He was a mere man that had followed the teachings of Sauron and Saruman and grew stronger then most. He was a mere tool for the dark lord to have his revenge beyond the grave, the idea was pure Saruman though. To take away Elessar from his family and to inflict him the pain of wandering endlessly.
They had learned years later after travelling to Mordor and meeting the sorcerer self named Morthond or black roots of Estel immortality. In a sickening twist, the Valar had bestowed the one named Elf-stone the gift of living an immortal life in the havens as a compensation. They had blessed the union of Arwen and Aragorn to offer them eternity and peace after the years of separation and waiting.
Nobody had known this, Legolas had always planned to stay until the last of the fellowship had gone. Frodo and Gandalf were the first, Sam followed and with the last boat was supposed to bring Legolas, Gimli and Elessar. The decision of the Valar had came the day of his natural death, Aragorn was supposed to die to allow his son to succeed him. He would have woken a few hours later, looking as young as he did when defeating Sauron had it not been for the spell done by Morthond. They had buried him and wept for him when he was merely sleeping, like in the modern tale of "Sleeping Beauty". Morthond had later empty his grave and hid him.
The sight of Aragorn empty tomb was scarred in their memory. It was early dawn because Arwen refused to face her son and daughters. She had made her peace with them and knew that if she stayed she would never leave. At the news of Estel's rebirth Arwen had retransform herself into an pure elf, gone was the grey hairs and the few wrinkles Legolas only noticed when they were gone. They had stumbled on the garden and like a wound it laid, ugly and vicious. The coffin was in pieces lying about, the dirt was everywhere even dirtying the white statues around. The marble piece itself had suffered from hits as if someone had smashed with an axe until the markings were impossible to see. They stood until the guards came for their round, Arwen quickly retreated in the shadows while Legolas went to see the king. In private Legolas told what he could to the man he called nephew, and upon hearing the tale Eldarion accepted to give his aid. He only asked two conditions, to see his mother again to wish her good luck and have her promise to come back with his recovered father no matter what and to be the one carrying the message to Valinor to his grand-father.
Legolas had no choice then to accept, he bowed low and left to convince Arwen of her son's demands.
------
Since that day, that nightmare has haunted him, with the end changing every time. He watched Arwen has she guided him to the taxi, he was unable to focus on anything. Usually after that nightmare stroke he would leave Arwen for a few minutes, he couldn't allow her to see his weakness especially since she had started a sick spell. She would get weak, trembling, delirious, extremely sad and sleepy. She needed him to take care of her, he was her physical strength while she was his keeper of his sanity.
Had he not been under the shock, he would have easily seen Arwen slipped into one of her trembling spell. He had closed his eyes and had not noticed her crying silently in the airport. He felt drained as he walked to his seat after the wait. He had thought Arwen was fine when she gave him a blanket and a pillow when the plane lifted up with a smile. Had he not been ready to fall in deep slumber, he would have remembered she was deadly afraid of planes. He slipped on the black eyes mask to hide the fact he slept his eyes open and nodded off.
He however heard when she cracked.
He heard her whisper and felt the echoes of her dream rippled to him. She seemed to be jerking in her sleep, her elbow hit him twice. He jumped when he heard the voice then a shudder ran threw him freezing him when he placed his hand upon hers. He heard so faintly the voice of Morthond taunting and evil despite the years.
-"You are too late."
-"No I am not, please no." Whispered Arwen to herself still moving as if she could push him away.
-"Because, I adore watching you in pain."
-"You sick bastard, what have you done?" She asked louder had it been in her nature to curse, Legolas was sure he would hear a few dwarfish curses.
-"I followed my master bidding."
-"Your master has been defeated, surrender." Commended Arwen as if she stood in front of her subject, her voice forever regal, Legolas squeezed her hand harder hoping to bring her back to consciousness.
-"I have caused pain on the one you call Elessar."
-"Why? Why would you do that? You took him away from me!" Now there was tears in her voice, with his free hand Legolas took away the mask and looked upon her beautiful face, twisted by pain, her eyes wide open but unseen, fighting the invisible demon.
-"she is the one to blame."
-"I did nothing, I only wanted to help, I did nothing it is not my fault." She spat, her voice dripping with venom, Legolas half expected her to bite into thin air.
-"You gave up on the Elessar."
-"I never gave up on him, I waited for him for years you bastard, you are foul. You deserve to die." Arwen's voice went up a notch and Legolas glanced around seeing other passengers give them funny looks. He started to rub her hand praying Elbereth with a silent plea.
-"You allow me to touch your king by giving the Elessar to the perian my dear queen
-"I did not allow you, it is not my fault, please, it is not my fault." Arwen's voice was shouting now and she was moving much wilder as if she was trying to punch an invisible Morthond.
-."And now your precious king is alive, when you left him for dead, I have taken his mortality and his mind, so he will wander for all eternity in pain, ignorant. "
-"No I need to find him, tell me where he is, tell me. "
Legolas leaned over and put both hands on her arms, he did so to calm her but it had the opposite effect. She jumped out of her seat, they were in mid-air and were allowed to take their seat belt off, Legolas had kept his but was surprised Arwen did.
-"Don't touch me. Tell me where he is. " She ordered, her hair flying wildly around her, she was in hysterics now, trapped into a waking dream.
-"Ma am please sit down. " said a flight attendant. Who had been lurking near since Arwen started to speak to herself.
-"No do not order me, I am the queen, I will not let you get away from it. " Legolas winced at the comment, even if Arwen was the picture of royalty itself, that comment never was the best to say out loud and was met with disapproving glares.
-"Arwen, please, Arwen." Legolas said untying his belt and rising to his feet not caring about using her real name.
-"No, I have not made a mistake. Do not stop me". Arwen screamed in hysterics hitting her foot against the floor pushing Legolas and the flight attendant away.
-"It is over Arwen, Telin le thaed, I have come to help you. " Legolas said using their mother tongue hoping for a flicker of recognition.
-"NO." her cry of anguish tore Legolas heart, he saw from above her shoulder two security guard prepared to tackled her and knew one of the flight attendant was preparing a shot of tranquilliser. Legolas made a sudden movement and grabbed Arwen and pulled her with him on the floor.
-"Lasto beth nin, tolo dan nan galad, Arwen, hear my voice, return to the light, please wake up, please, please wake up." Pleaded Legolas in tears, this was not supposed to happen now. Arwen had been strong for ages, she could not fail now. But as he held her he felt her inside were broken glass shards.
He rocked with her on the ground but he still didn't feel her waking up, he glanced at the flight attendant who kneel next to him she gently took Arwen's arm and less then 5 seconds later injected her, Arwen whimpered but he felt her relaxing. With the help of the security guard, the put her on the chair next to the window so hat she couldn't jump out in the alley and hurt anyone.
A gurney awaited them at John f. Kennedy airport, the flight attendant had said it was necessary since many people did allergy reaction to medication in those days. All could Legolas think while the travel was not to look at the ocean. Right outside in the bitter wind of new York he could smell the odour of the sea. Gulls were invading the sky mocking him. He had the terrible urge to run to the nearest shore and swim back home. He could never be free of the Sindarin curse, the yearning for the sea for the home they had left. He was shaking so hard, one of the paramedic taking care of a much calmer Arwen brought him a blanket. They rode in the back of the ambulance neither of them looking at each other for their own reasons. They settled her in a private room and monitored her. Legolas waved the nurse who wanted to draw blood for analysis away saying they couldn't because of their religion but they would allow her to examine Arwen as much as possible. The nurse gave him a glare that Legolas could tell it was frustrating for her to have narrow minded patient and left to fetch some instruments. The medicine was less barbaric in the last decades but still they couldn't take any chance to be discovered as anything but human. Neither Arwen nor Legolas said anything, they barely said a word. Legolas felt guilty and didn't know what to say. He opened his mouth to speak to Arwen when the nurse entered again saving him from speaking.
-"Can I speak with the doctor rider, Sam rider please." Asked Arwen looking ever more frail in the blue gown and the blanket around her shoulder, her long hair fell on her face making her look twelve in edain years and a mere two hundred in eldar years.
-"Oh, I will check if he is on duty, as he treated you before." Said the nurse more happily as she checked her blood pressure.
-"No, but I came in once with a friend that was sick. He was very nice. " Arwen said softly, the nurse nodded and left leaving an amazed Legolas.
-"Two birds one stone". Explained Arwen hugging the blanket tighter. Both of them awaited in anticipation, Legolas had even started to bite his nails something he had never done before. Even in dangerous situation they had hope. Now, he wasn't sure if they could go on. There has been a lot of doubts and thinking of home lately. Maybe it was time to return, maybe they were not meant to find Aragorn.
A man in his forties entered the room with a smile. He had wise grey eyes, rugged looks of a tan skin, a slim body and powerful stance.
Neither Arwen no Legolas held their breath and simply look at each other nodding. It wasn't him. It seemed it would never be him. Legolas watched the man talk softly to Arwen taking notes, Legolas was not listening, he was zoning in and out. After a good ten minutes, the doctor rose and beckoned Legolas outside. Without looking back, Legolas left and closed the door, leaning on it and waited for the doctor to speak.
-"What is your relation with the patient?" He asked as a formality, Legolas was sure Arwen had given an answer.
-"She is my sister." Legolas replied though in colourings they were opposite, their bone structure gave them a familiarity look.
-"Has there been an history of depression, or any mental illness?" The doctor asked he had this truthful and honesty about him that made Legolas confess what he would have hidden to someone else.
-"She hasn't been the same since her husband went missing." Legolas said, he blamed the fact that the man resembled Aragorn to have him spill his gut.
-"I will be frank, your sister need to come to term with it. She is under a lot of strain and I think she need to go to therapy." Said the doctor politely.
-"No, we have never been apart." Legolas winced afterward, it sounded bad to his ears, incestuous behaviour was punished in this time. Not that it wasn't forbidden in the eldar culture, but they had to be carefully in what they said. They always had to be careful with what they said.
-"Not since her husband went missing. We had been searching for him with the help of detectives." Legolas said quickly to cover his mistake.
-"Then she need a break. I understand its hard, but she does need her rest. And by the looks of it, so do you." He added looking at him pointedly.
-"How long?" Asked Legolas willing to listen.
-"Maybe a week, there is a therapy centre here in New York. She could relax and be followed by specialist. Your sister does not suffer from a medical imbalance from what I can see. She is simply exhausted and burden with too much guilt. The medical centre will help her to get back on her feet."
-"It would be good for her." Stated Legolas watching the doctor nod.
-"Yes, it would. It is what was call post traumatic syndrome, when something traumatic happens and the reaction comes later on. It was bounds to happen." Said the doctor simply in terms most people could understand, but Legolas knew Arwen would not have a full diagnostic unless she was willing to draw blood tests.
-"Then yes, do I have to sign up something?" asked Legolas, he knew he couldn't take care of her himself, he had done so before but the result was never full recovery. Maybe there was something very wrong with the Evenstar.
-"I will get the forms for you and your sister to sign." Said the doctor turning around, the sound of his footsteps echoed into the hall.
Legolas sank down to the floor, putting his head in his hands. The corridor was empty, it was after all the middle of the night, they had waited a long time in the waiting room. Legolas hugged himself trying to focus himself, he felt as if he fought the battle of Pelennor Field and Helms Deep one after the other condensed in the last 4 hours.
-"She is really in pain, isn't she." He heard softly in front of him, Legolas didn't need to look up to know who it was.
-"Yes Strider, she is." Legolas said looking at the ghostly figure of his friend, he was dressed this time in jeans and black shirt.
-"She should go home." Strider said softly making it sound like the easy choice.
-"I know Strider, but I don't think she can anymore than I do." Legolas said looking at the corridor in case a nurse or a patient would wander, he had learn and paid the price to be caught taking to himself.
-"Legolas, do not kid yourself you are two step away from falling yourself." Said Strider pacing near Legolas back and forth, his glance falling to the door where Arwen stayed to rest a little.
-"Then you should not have appeared to me." Legolas replied referring to that faithful day disembarking from the Elven boat.
-"I wouldn't have if I had known." Strider muttered to himself sounding like a bear that was just woken up from a long sleep.
-"Where are you my friend?" Asked Legolas, he always did when he saw the apparition, though the clothes sometimes helped to track him down, he never received an answer.
-"Somewhere, I don't know where." Said vaguely Strider though Legolas saw the pain in his grey eyes.
-"I will not give up on hope." Swore Legolas the words coming smoothly from his mouth from the experience, yet they sounded as honest as the first day he uttered them
-"You will never give up on me it seems. But do please do, it is killing both you and Arwen. Leave go where you belong." Pleaded Strider bending to be at eye level with his friend.
-"I will not until you are with us." Replied Legolas firmly, he leaned his head against the door and waited for Strider's response.
-"Stubborn elf." Strider cursed like he had done millions of time before.
-"Apparently the Valar thought you fit the bill." Responded Legolas with a smile.
-"Yet they couldn't have brought me a little message, oh-by-the-way-you-are- going-to-be-immortal." Said Strider sarcastically standing up to pace a little.
-"Go now, the doctor is coming back." Legolas warned as Strider walked away until he disappeared into a wall. He stood up brushing his pants of imagined dust.
-"Here are the papers. I have brought some in case you want to join in the centre." Looking not so much like the apparition now, the nose wasn't the same, nor the eyes.
-"Thank you. I think I will." Legolas said looking at the brochure, it looked like a spa he thought happily.
-"I will explain the formalities with your sister." Said the doctor as Legolas stepped on the left to allow the doctor to pass. He didn't enter right away, he allowed the doctor about five minute with Arwen. But when he entered, she nodded to him with a calm acceptance that frightened Legolas more than any enemy ever could. Arwen just gave up on finding her husband.
------------
After an hour, all the papers were signed, Arwen left in a cab while Legolas was going to call detective Horovitz about the case. In truth he needed time to digest everything, he wandered in central park, it was pitch black when he arrived, and now with the sun rising he guessed the time was about 7 or 8 in the morning. He passed a few bystanders quite happy the park was now a much safer place for their daily exercises, he sat on a bench morose briefly thinking about the goons that had hit him a few dozens hours earlier, there was still a few scratches here and there.
He couldn't help wonder why he was the only one seeing the apparition of Strider. He had asked the question to Arwen a few times but it seemed that Strider only haunted her dreams and thoughts. He remembered clearly the first time it had happened, it was when he received his first white hair. He sighed watching his breath leave a small cloud, he guessed the time were cold but since temperature barely registered with him it did not matter. He pulled out his cell phone and pressed the buttons with the right name and waited for the man to pick up.
-"This is detective Horovitz."
-"Hello this is Louis Green." Legolas waited for the man to recognise him he didn't have to wait long.
-"It was not him right." The detective said answering his own question.
-"No it wasn't. Thank you for your work, I really appreciate it." Said Legolas thinking of all the hours the man must have put.
-"Well, I don't know if it is going to be a good news or not but there has been a sighting of a man looking almost exactly like the picture you have given me." Said Horovitz apologetically.
-"Where?" snapped Legolas loosing his patience at going on another hunt.
-"Vancouver." Answered the man and Legolas took two second to remember where was the city of Vancouver, he had gone before, it was in the north near the pacific coast. Legolas also remembered that he hated that city.
-"My sister can't leave, she doesn't feel well." Legolas said as an excuse, anywhere with large body of water scared him, and if he would face one without Arwen, he wasn't sure he could make it.
-"It would really just take a day and half. You don't need five hours to know it is him or not. I am sorry if I am pressing but from what my contact said the man might not stay long and I feel you need to find him fast. Your sister has been sick a lot." Said the detective as if he just discovered that.
-"Yes she has." Legolas answered feeling defensive but not knowing where it came.
-"Is she still in the hospital." Asked the detective, it took a moment for Legolas to realise what the man said exactly.
-"What do you mean?" Said Legolas coldly.
-"I have read there was disturbance caused by a frail looking exotic raven beauty from a flight from Iowa to new York. I am sorry, but it is my job to watch out for unusual things Mister Green." Legolas could almost groan, after he had slip one that his rescue mission might be dangerous, the detective had started to track them down just in case something had gone wrong.
-"Now it is alright. I will go to a public library e-mail me the information on searchingestel@hotmail.com." Legolas replied spelling the words just in case.
-"So you finally got that e-mail address. What does mean Estel?" asked the man, he had tried to convince Legolas to tell where he was from, where he as really from. Horovitz was an expert at reading people but he had struck a puzzle in the two elves.
-"It means hope in a welsh dialect, it was a nickname for Tom." Legolas said shrugging his shoulders, after all it was true that it was given to Aragorn and that the sonority sounded welsh.
-"I will send out the information, so are you leaving or not?" asked the man again.
-"I will think about it". Answered Legolas hanging up, he looked at his hand, one hand the wrinkled brochure and the other held the cell phone. He glanced up the faint light of the stars as he had done many times before.
-"Why can't I decide". He asked softly to the stars, he had to choose between the woman he considered a sister and the brother he had sworn to find no matter. He knew now that Arwen would not be able to hunt with him and may never be able to. The question was, had he enough strength to find Aragorn by himself and to be able to leave Arwen to her own design. Should he put her in a boat and let her return to Aman.
The only problem was, there was only one boat capable of making the journey. Should Arwen leave, it would mean Legolas wouldn't be able to return with or without Aragorn. He was trapped between a rock and a hard place, choosing the lesser evil.
And evil was always the wrong choice.
Notes- okay, the last chapter was too long and I introduce a cameo and a villain.and it is so hard to write, mostly due to my keyboard who is half broken. So It is far more work then I anticipated. But worth it, I guess. Thank you to penpunk.gosh I feel like I have a fan, you are so great thank you. Araanaz, you notice the Jill thing huh, well, here I am writing the next chapter after less than 24 hours. I deserve it okay.
Inspiration of this chapter is from the movie "Benny and Joon." The fact that Valinor on the planet is situated somewhere in the north between America and Europe is from Scribe's wonderful universe. Go read "Maedhros", it is one of the best fic these days. Please do not e-mail at that address it is a fictitious one.
Chapter 5 *In the maze of her imagination*
He had sat in the car for half an hour, maybe more, they didn't make it for the flight they had wanted, they took the next one. Legolas was still reeling from the nightmare he had, it was one of the worst one, and it was probably due to the fact it wasn't a nightmare. It was a memory. Except that the corpse of the sorcerer had not risen from the dead, despite his great power he was not immortal. He was not an elf, nor an Istari nor an orc. He was a mere man that had followed the teachings of Sauron and Saruman and grew stronger then most. He was a mere tool for the dark lord to have his revenge beyond the grave, the idea was pure Saruman though. To take away Elessar from his family and to inflict him the pain of wandering endlessly.
They had learned years later after travelling to Mordor and meeting the sorcerer self named Morthond or black roots of Estel immortality. In a sickening twist, the Valar had bestowed the one named Elf-stone the gift of living an immortal life in the havens as a compensation. They had blessed the union of Arwen and Aragorn to offer them eternity and peace after the years of separation and waiting.
Nobody had known this, Legolas had always planned to stay until the last of the fellowship had gone. Frodo and Gandalf were the first, Sam followed and with the last boat was supposed to bring Legolas, Gimli and Elessar. The decision of the Valar had came the day of his natural death, Aragorn was supposed to die to allow his son to succeed him. He would have woken a few hours later, looking as young as he did when defeating Sauron had it not been for the spell done by Morthond. They had buried him and wept for him when he was merely sleeping, like in the modern tale of "Sleeping Beauty". Morthond had later empty his grave and hid him.
The sight of Aragorn empty tomb was scarred in their memory. It was early dawn because Arwen refused to face her son and daughters. She had made her peace with them and knew that if she stayed she would never leave. At the news of Estel's rebirth Arwen had retransform herself into an pure elf, gone was the grey hairs and the few wrinkles Legolas only noticed when they were gone. They had stumbled on the garden and like a wound it laid, ugly and vicious. The coffin was in pieces lying about, the dirt was everywhere even dirtying the white statues around. The marble piece itself had suffered from hits as if someone had smashed with an axe until the markings were impossible to see. They stood until the guards came for their round, Arwen quickly retreated in the shadows while Legolas went to see the king. In private Legolas told what he could to the man he called nephew, and upon hearing the tale Eldarion accepted to give his aid. He only asked two conditions, to see his mother again to wish her good luck and have her promise to come back with his recovered father no matter what and to be the one carrying the message to Valinor to his grand-father.
Legolas had no choice then to accept, he bowed low and left to convince Arwen of her son's demands.
------
Since that day, that nightmare has haunted him, with the end changing every time. He watched Arwen has she guided him to the taxi, he was unable to focus on anything. Usually after that nightmare stroke he would leave Arwen for a few minutes, he couldn't allow her to see his weakness especially since she had started a sick spell. She would get weak, trembling, delirious, extremely sad and sleepy. She needed him to take care of her, he was her physical strength while she was his keeper of his sanity.
Had he not been under the shock, he would have easily seen Arwen slipped into one of her trembling spell. He had closed his eyes and had not noticed her crying silently in the airport. He felt drained as he walked to his seat after the wait. He had thought Arwen was fine when she gave him a blanket and a pillow when the plane lifted up with a smile. Had he not been ready to fall in deep slumber, he would have remembered she was deadly afraid of planes. He slipped on the black eyes mask to hide the fact he slept his eyes open and nodded off.
He however heard when she cracked.
He heard her whisper and felt the echoes of her dream rippled to him. She seemed to be jerking in her sleep, her elbow hit him twice. He jumped when he heard the voice then a shudder ran threw him freezing him when he placed his hand upon hers. He heard so faintly the voice of Morthond taunting and evil despite the years.
-"You are too late."
-"No I am not, please no." Whispered Arwen to herself still moving as if she could push him away.
-"Because, I adore watching you in pain."
-"You sick bastard, what have you done?" She asked louder had it been in her nature to curse, Legolas was sure he would hear a few dwarfish curses.
-"I followed my master bidding."
-"Your master has been defeated, surrender." Commended Arwen as if she stood in front of her subject, her voice forever regal, Legolas squeezed her hand harder hoping to bring her back to consciousness.
-"I have caused pain on the one you call Elessar."
-"Why? Why would you do that? You took him away from me!" Now there was tears in her voice, with his free hand Legolas took away the mask and looked upon her beautiful face, twisted by pain, her eyes wide open but unseen, fighting the invisible demon.
-"she is the one to blame."
-"I did nothing, I only wanted to help, I did nothing it is not my fault." She spat, her voice dripping with venom, Legolas half expected her to bite into thin air.
-"You gave up on the Elessar."
-"I never gave up on him, I waited for him for years you bastard, you are foul. You deserve to die." Arwen's voice went up a notch and Legolas glanced around seeing other passengers give them funny looks. He started to rub her hand praying Elbereth with a silent plea.
-"You allow me to touch your king by giving the Elessar to the perian my dear queen
-"I did not allow you, it is not my fault, please, it is not my fault." Arwen's voice was shouting now and she was moving much wilder as if she was trying to punch an invisible Morthond.
-."And now your precious king is alive, when you left him for dead, I have taken his mortality and his mind, so he will wander for all eternity in pain, ignorant. "
-"No I need to find him, tell me where he is, tell me. "
Legolas leaned over and put both hands on her arms, he did so to calm her but it had the opposite effect. She jumped out of her seat, they were in mid-air and were allowed to take their seat belt off, Legolas had kept his but was surprised Arwen did.
-"Don't touch me. Tell me where he is. " She ordered, her hair flying wildly around her, she was in hysterics now, trapped into a waking dream.
-"Ma am please sit down. " said a flight attendant. Who had been lurking near since Arwen started to speak to herself.
-"No do not order me, I am the queen, I will not let you get away from it. " Legolas winced at the comment, even if Arwen was the picture of royalty itself, that comment never was the best to say out loud and was met with disapproving glares.
-"Arwen, please, Arwen." Legolas said untying his belt and rising to his feet not caring about using her real name.
-"No, I have not made a mistake. Do not stop me". Arwen screamed in hysterics hitting her foot against the floor pushing Legolas and the flight attendant away.
-"It is over Arwen, Telin le thaed, I have come to help you. " Legolas said using their mother tongue hoping for a flicker of recognition.
-"NO." her cry of anguish tore Legolas heart, he saw from above her shoulder two security guard prepared to tackled her and knew one of the flight attendant was preparing a shot of tranquilliser. Legolas made a sudden movement and grabbed Arwen and pulled her with him on the floor.
-"Lasto beth nin, tolo dan nan galad, Arwen, hear my voice, return to the light, please wake up, please, please wake up." Pleaded Legolas in tears, this was not supposed to happen now. Arwen had been strong for ages, she could not fail now. But as he held her he felt her inside were broken glass shards.
He rocked with her on the ground but he still didn't feel her waking up, he glanced at the flight attendant who kneel next to him she gently took Arwen's arm and less then 5 seconds later injected her, Arwen whimpered but he felt her relaxing. With the help of the security guard, the put her on the chair next to the window so hat she couldn't jump out in the alley and hurt anyone.
A gurney awaited them at John f. Kennedy airport, the flight attendant had said it was necessary since many people did allergy reaction to medication in those days. All could Legolas think while the travel was not to look at the ocean. Right outside in the bitter wind of new York he could smell the odour of the sea. Gulls were invading the sky mocking him. He had the terrible urge to run to the nearest shore and swim back home. He could never be free of the Sindarin curse, the yearning for the sea for the home they had left. He was shaking so hard, one of the paramedic taking care of a much calmer Arwen brought him a blanket. They rode in the back of the ambulance neither of them looking at each other for their own reasons. They settled her in a private room and monitored her. Legolas waved the nurse who wanted to draw blood for analysis away saying they couldn't because of their religion but they would allow her to examine Arwen as much as possible. The nurse gave him a glare that Legolas could tell it was frustrating for her to have narrow minded patient and left to fetch some instruments. The medicine was less barbaric in the last decades but still they couldn't take any chance to be discovered as anything but human. Neither Arwen nor Legolas said anything, they barely said a word. Legolas felt guilty and didn't know what to say. He opened his mouth to speak to Arwen when the nurse entered again saving him from speaking.
-"Can I speak with the doctor rider, Sam rider please." Asked Arwen looking ever more frail in the blue gown and the blanket around her shoulder, her long hair fell on her face making her look twelve in edain years and a mere two hundred in eldar years.
-"Oh, I will check if he is on duty, as he treated you before." Said the nurse more happily as she checked her blood pressure.
-"No, but I came in once with a friend that was sick. He was very nice. " Arwen said softly, the nurse nodded and left leaving an amazed Legolas.
-"Two birds one stone". Explained Arwen hugging the blanket tighter. Both of them awaited in anticipation, Legolas had even started to bite his nails something he had never done before. Even in dangerous situation they had hope. Now, he wasn't sure if they could go on. There has been a lot of doubts and thinking of home lately. Maybe it was time to return, maybe they were not meant to find Aragorn.
A man in his forties entered the room with a smile. He had wise grey eyes, rugged looks of a tan skin, a slim body and powerful stance.
Neither Arwen no Legolas held their breath and simply look at each other nodding. It wasn't him. It seemed it would never be him. Legolas watched the man talk softly to Arwen taking notes, Legolas was not listening, he was zoning in and out. After a good ten minutes, the doctor rose and beckoned Legolas outside. Without looking back, Legolas left and closed the door, leaning on it and waited for the doctor to speak.
-"What is your relation with the patient?" He asked as a formality, Legolas was sure Arwen had given an answer.
-"She is my sister." Legolas replied though in colourings they were opposite, their bone structure gave them a familiarity look.
-"Has there been an history of depression, or any mental illness?" The doctor asked he had this truthful and honesty about him that made Legolas confess what he would have hidden to someone else.
-"She hasn't been the same since her husband went missing." Legolas said, he blamed the fact that the man resembled Aragorn to have him spill his gut.
-"I will be frank, your sister need to come to term with it. She is under a lot of strain and I think she need to go to therapy." Said the doctor politely.
-"No, we have never been apart." Legolas winced afterward, it sounded bad to his ears, incestuous behaviour was punished in this time. Not that it wasn't forbidden in the eldar culture, but they had to be carefully in what they said. They always had to be careful with what they said.
-"Not since her husband went missing. We had been searching for him with the help of detectives." Legolas said quickly to cover his mistake.
-"Then she need a break. I understand its hard, but she does need her rest. And by the looks of it, so do you." He added looking at him pointedly.
-"How long?" Asked Legolas willing to listen.
-"Maybe a week, there is a therapy centre here in New York. She could relax and be followed by specialist. Your sister does not suffer from a medical imbalance from what I can see. She is simply exhausted and burden with too much guilt. The medical centre will help her to get back on her feet."
-"It would be good for her." Stated Legolas watching the doctor nod.
-"Yes, it would. It is what was call post traumatic syndrome, when something traumatic happens and the reaction comes later on. It was bounds to happen." Said the doctor simply in terms most people could understand, but Legolas knew Arwen would not have a full diagnostic unless she was willing to draw blood tests.
-"Then yes, do I have to sign up something?" asked Legolas, he knew he couldn't take care of her himself, he had done so before but the result was never full recovery. Maybe there was something very wrong with the Evenstar.
-"I will get the forms for you and your sister to sign." Said the doctor turning around, the sound of his footsteps echoed into the hall.
Legolas sank down to the floor, putting his head in his hands. The corridor was empty, it was after all the middle of the night, they had waited a long time in the waiting room. Legolas hugged himself trying to focus himself, he felt as if he fought the battle of Pelennor Field and Helms Deep one after the other condensed in the last 4 hours.
-"She is really in pain, isn't she." He heard softly in front of him, Legolas didn't need to look up to know who it was.
-"Yes Strider, she is." Legolas said looking at the ghostly figure of his friend, he was dressed this time in jeans and black shirt.
-"She should go home." Strider said softly making it sound like the easy choice.
-"I know Strider, but I don't think she can anymore than I do." Legolas said looking at the corridor in case a nurse or a patient would wander, he had learn and paid the price to be caught taking to himself.
-"Legolas, do not kid yourself you are two step away from falling yourself." Said Strider pacing near Legolas back and forth, his glance falling to the door where Arwen stayed to rest a little.
-"Then you should not have appeared to me." Legolas replied referring to that faithful day disembarking from the Elven boat.
-"I wouldn't have if I had known." Strider muttered to himself sounding like a bear that was just woken up from a long sleep.
-"Where are you my friend?" Asked Legolas, he always did when he saw the apparition, though the clothes sometimes helped to track him down, he never received an answer.
-"Somewhere, I don't know where." Said vaguely Strider though Legolas saw the pain in his grey eyes.
-"I will not give up on hope." Swore Legolas the words coming smoothly from his mouth from the experience, yet they sounded as honest as the first day he uttered them
-"You will never give up on me it seems. But do please do, it is killing both you and Arwen. Leave go where you belong." Pleaded Strider bending to be at eye level with his friend.
-"I will not until you are with us." Replied Legolas firmly, he leaned his head against the door and waited for Strider's response.
-"Stubborn elf." Strider cursed like he had done millions of time before.
-"Apparently the Valar thought you fit the bill." Responded Legolas with a smile.
-"Yet they couldn't have brought me a little message, oh-by-the-way-you-are- going-to-be-immortal." Said Strider sarcastically standing up to pace a little.
-"Go now, the doctor is coming back." Legolas warned as Strider walked away until he disappeared into a wall. He stood up brushing his pants of imagined dust.
-"Here are the papers. I have brought some in case you want to join in the centre." Looking not so much like the apparition now, the nose wasn't the same, nor the eyes.
-"Thank you. I think I will." Legolas said looking at the brochure, it looked like a spa he thought happily.
-"I will explain the formalities with your sister." Said the doctor as Legolas stepped on the left to allow the doctor to pass. He didn't enter right away, he allowed the doctor about five minute with Arwen. But when he entered, she nodded to him with a calm acceptance that frightened Legolas more than any enemy ever could. Arwen just gave up on finding her husband.
------------
After an hour, all the papers were signed, Arwen left in a cab while Legolas was going to call detective Horovitz about the case. In truth he needed time to digest everything, he wandered in central park, it was pitch black when he arrived, and now with the sun rising he guessed the time was about 7 or 8 in the morning. He passed a few bystanders quite happy the park was now a much safer place for their daily exercises, he sat on a bench morose briefly thinking about the goons that had hit him a few dozens hours earlier, there was still a few scratches here and there.
He couldn't help wonder why he was the only one seeing the apparition of Strider. He had asked the question to Arwen a few times but it seemed that Strider only haunted her dreams and thoughts. He remembered clearly the first time it had happened, it was when he received his first white hair. He sighed watching his breath leave a small cloud, he guessed the time were cold but since temperature barely registered with him it did not matter. He pulled out his cell phone and pressed the buttons with the right name and waited for the man to pick up.
-"This is detective Horovitz."
-"Hello this is Louis Green." Legolas waited for the man to recognise him he didn't have to wait long.
-"It was not him right." The detective said answering his own question.
-"No it wasn't. Thank you for your work, I really appreciate it." Said Legolas thinking of all the hours the man must have put.
-"Well, I don't know if it is going to be a good news or not but there has been a sighting of a man looking almost exactly like the picture you have given me." Said Horovitz apologetically.
-"Where?" snapped Legolas loosing his patience at going on another hunt.
-"Vancouver." Answered the man and Legolas took two second to remember where was the city of Vancouver, he had gone before, it was in the north near the pacific coast. Legolas also remembered that he hated that city.
-"My sister can't leave, she doesn't feel well." Legolas said as an excuse, anywhere with large body of water scared him, and if he would face one without Arwen, he wasn't sure he could make it.
-"It would really just take a day and half. You don't need five hours to know it is him or not. I am sorry if I am pressing but from what my contact said the man might not stay long and I feel you need to find him fast. Your sister has been sick a lot." Said the detective as if he just discovered that.
-"Yes she has." Legolas answered feeling defensive but not knowing where it came.
-"Is she still in the hospital." Asked the detective, it took a moment for Legolas to realise what the man said exactly.
-"What do you mean?" Said Legolas coldly.
-"I have read there was disturbance caused by a frail looking exotic raven beauty from a flight from Iowa to new York. I am sorry, but it is my job to watch out for unusual things Mister Green." Legolas could almost groan, after he had slip one that his rescue mission might be dangerous, the detective had started to track them down just in case something had gone wrong.
-"Now it is alright. I will go to a public library e-mail me the information on searchingestel@hotmail.com." Legolas replied spelling the words just in case.
-"So you finally got that e-mail address. What does mean Estel?" asked the man, he had tried to convince Legolas to tell where he was from, where he as really from. Horovitz was an expert at reading people but he had struck a puzzle in the two elves.
-"It means hope in a welsh dialect, it was a nickname for Tom." Legolas said shrugging his shoulders, after all it was true that it was given to Aragorn and that the sonority sounded welsh.
-"I will send out the information, so are you leaving or not?" asked the man again.
-"I will think about it". Answered Legolas hanging up, he looked at his hand, one hand the wrinkled brochure and the other held the cell phone. He glanced up the faint light of the stars as he had done many times before.
-"Why can't I decide". He asked softly to the stars, he had to choose between the woman he considered a sister and the brother he had sworn to find no matter. He knew now that Arwen would not be able to hunt with him and may never be able to. The question was, had he enough strength to find Aragorn by himself and to be able to leave Arwen to her own design. Should he put her in a boat and let her return to Aman.
The only problem was, there was only one boat capable of making the journey. Should Arwen leave, it would mean Legolas wouldn't be able to return with or without Aragorn. He was trapped between a rock and a hard place, choosing the lesser evil.
And evil was always the wrong choice.
