"Well?" There was hope in Carter's voice, but Janet didn't have any to
offer.
"He's sick, all right," She told her friend, sitting down in one of the easy chairs and looking over at Sam. "He doesn't seem to have pneumonia, though, just a very high fever, and we can control that. It's his emotional state that I'm more concerned about."
"Did he talk to you?" "He told me to go away." She didn't mention that he'd told her to take Sam as well. There was already hurt lurking in Carter's blue eyes, and Frasier wasn't going to add to it needlessly.
"That's what he told me."
"I know."
"What do we do, Janet?" Sam asked.
"There's a few options, Sam. We can take him back to the SGC and keep him there until he feels better. We can leave him alone like he wants us to. Or we can take care of him here and hope we can get him to pull out of this funk he's in."
"You think it's just depression?" Samantha asked.
"I'm sure it is. But it's far more serious than you know." She saw the Beretta sitting on the coffee table where Carter had placed it and the shells she'd taken from it. "Well, maybe you do understand how serious it is." Carter followed her gaze.
"It was on his bedside stand. I didn't want to leave him alone with it."
"I think we've left him alone too much already," Frasier said softly, rubbing her eyes to hide the hint of moisture that had formed at the thought of O'Neill actually using the weapon on himself.
"He said he was all right," Sam replied, looking towards the hallway as if hoping Jack would make an appearance.
"He's still saying he's all right, Sam." Janet said. "That doesn't mean it's true. I should have seen what was happening to him, you know. You and Teal'c had your own grief to deal with. The three of you were the closest to Daniel. I'm trained to spot theses things, and I completely missed it."
"He's very good at hiding his true feelings, Janet. You know that." Sam wasn't going to allow her friend to sink into any kind of guilt-laden depression of her own.
"So what do we do?" Frasier asked.
"Is there anything we can do for him at the SGC that we can do that we can't do here?"
"No. Time is what he needs, not machinery."
"Then I'll take care of him here. I don't want anyone to see him like this, Janet."
Frasier nodded her understanding. "I'll have to tell General Hammond what's going on, of course, but since you all are already on downtime, it's not like this will affect base operations. Teal'c is off world, but we can send for him to come back."
"Teal'c needs the time alone," Carter said, shaking her head. "Besides, I don't think he should see the Colonel looking like this, either. It would affect their relationship."
"What about your relationship with him?" Janet asked her friend.
The hurt returned to Carter's eyes, and she shook her head. "We don't have a relationship, Janet. He's made it fairly obvious the last week that he doesn't want anything to do with me."
"He's not himself, Sam," Janet said, leaving the armchair and sitting next to Carter on the couch. She took her friend into her arms and held her tightly, giving her as much support as she could. "He's withdrawing, and the first thing someone does when they want to be alone is hurt the people that they're closest to." She ran her hair through Carter's short blonde hair while she felt her friend fight tears. "You're our best chance to bring him back."
Carter looked up, her eyes watery and her cheeks smeared. "What?"
"He's drifting, Sam. You can hear it in his voice. That's far more dangerous than the cold he's managed to catch."
"What can I do?"
"Be with him. Stay as close as he'll let you. Let him know, without words, that you're there for him. It's not going to be easy, though. He's going to do everything he can to drive you away. And I have a feeling he's very good at it."
Carter nodded, and looked around the room. "I guess I'll move in here, then, for a few days."
"That's a good idea. Of course, if you need a break, I'll be happy to come and stay with him." She looked pointedly at the gun on the coffee table. "We don't want him to be alone any more than necessary. God only knows what's going through his head right now."
He could hear murmuring through his open door and knew that Sam and Janet were no doubt discussing him. He didn't care.
"What are you doing?"
The familiar voice made Jack's eyes open and he found Daniel kneeling next to his bed, eyes level with Jack's. The same innocent, eyes that held so much more compassion than Jack would ever feel in his life.
"What?"
"Jack. It's okay. I'm happy."
"It's not 'okay', Daniel," Jack said softly. He was seeing things. Lovely. Jack pulled the blanket up over his head and screwed his eyes shut as tightly as he could. He lay still for long moments, and finally he pulled the blanket down and looked. Daniel was gone. Had never been there in the first place.
"It'll never be okay," Jack murmured softly, closing his eyes once more to try and block out the world and the pain it caused.
"He's sick, all right," She told her friend, sitting down in one of the easy chairs and looking over at Sam. "He doesn't seem to have pneumonia, though, just a very high fever, and we can control that. It's his emotional state that I'm more concerned about."
"Did he talk to you?" "He told me to go away." She didn't mention that he'd told her to take Sam as well. There was already hurt lurking in Carter's blue eyes, and Frasier wasn't going to add to it needlessly.
"That's what he told me."
"I know."
"What do we do, Janet?" Sam asked.
"There's a few options, Sam. We can take him back to the SGC and keep him there until he feels better. We can leave him alone like he wants us to. Or we can take care of him here and hope we can get him to pull out of this funk he's in."
"You think it's just depression?" Samantha asked.
"I'm sure it is. But it's far more serious than you know." She saw the Beretta sitting on the coffee table where Carter had placed it and the shells she'd taken from it. "Well, maybe you do understand how serious it is." Carter followed her gaze.
"It was on his bedside stand. I didn't want to leave him alone with it."
"I think we've left him alone too much already," Frasier said softly, rubbing her eyes to hide the hint of moisture that had formed at the thought of O'Neill actually using the weapon on himself.
"He said he was all right," Sam replied, looking towards the hallway as if hoping Jack would make an appearance.
"He's still saying he's all right, Sam." Janet said. "That doesn't mean it's true. I should have seen what was happening to him, you know. You and Teal'c had your own grief to deal with. The three of you were the closest to Daniel. I'm trained to spot theses things, and I completely missed it."
"He's very good at hiding his true feelings, Janet. You know that." Sam wasn't going to allow her friend to sink into any kind of guilt-laden depression of her own.
"So what do we do?" Frasier asked.
"Is there anything we can do for him at the SGC that we can do that we can't do here?"
"No. Time is what he needs, not machinery."
"Then I'll take care of him here. I don't want anyone to see him like this, Janet."
Frasier nodded her understanding. "I'll have to tell General Hammond what's going on, of course, but since you all are already on downtime, it's not like this will affect base operations. Teal'c is off world, but we can send for him to come back."
"Teal'c needs the time alone," Carter said, shaking her head. "Besides, I don't think he should see the Colonel looking like this, either. It would affect their relationship."
"What about your relationship with him?" Janet asked her friend.
The hurt returned to Carter's eyes, and she shook her head. "We don't have a relationship, Janet. He's made it fairly obvious the last week that he doesn't want anything to do with me."
"He's not himself, Sam," Janet said, leaving the armchair and sitting next to Carter on the couch. She took her friend into her arms and held her tightly, giving her as much support as she could. "He's withdrawing, and the first thing someone does when they want to be alone is hurt the people that they're closest to." She ran her hair through Carter's short blonde hair while she felt her friend fight tears. "You're our best chance to bring him back."
Carter looked up, her eyes watery and her cheeks smeared. "What?"
"He's drifting, Sam. You can hear it in his voice. That's far more dangerous than the cold he's managed to catch."
"What can I do?"
"Be with him. Stay as close as he'll let you. Let him know, without words, that you're there for him. It's not going to be easy, though. He's going to do everything he can to drive you away. And I have a feeling he's very good at it."
Carter nodded, and looked around the room. "I guess I'll move in here, then, for a few days."
"That's a good idea. Of course, if you need a break, I'll be happy to come and stay with him." She looked pointedly at the gun on the coffee table. "We don't want him to be alone any more than necessary. God only knows what's going through his head right now."
He could hear murmuring through his open door and knew that Sam and Janet were no doubt discussing him. He didn't care.
"What are you doing?"
The familiar voice made Jack's eyes open and he found Daniel kneeling next to his bed, eyes level with Jack's. The same innocent, eyes that held so much more compassion than Jack would ever feel in his life.
"What?"
"Jack. It's okay. I'm happy."
"It's not 'okay', Daniel," Jack said softly. He was seeing things. Lovely. Jack pulled the blanket up over his head and screwed his eyes shut as tightly as he could. He lay still for long moments, and finally he pulled the blanket down and looked. Daniel was gone. Had never been there in the first place.
"It'll never be okay," Jack murmured softly, closing his eyes once more to try and block out the world and the pain it caused.
