I don't own any of the MGS or MGS2 characters.
Day 2
Solid Snake has had a successful first day of teaching. He has scared the crap out of all of his students, and has earned the respect and admiration of some of them (mainly the boys). The second school day starts with the same thing on every one of his students' minds: the promise of a special school project. Some were dreading this, while others were looking forward to it, but the only thing they new about it was that it had something to do with a bunch of boys bringing in their paintball guns.
[Roughly a dozen yellow school busses are lined up outside the High School parking lot, many of them beeping their horns, none of them able to get in.]
Principal: What's the hold-up? Why can't the busses get in?
The-dude-that's-in-charge-of-busses: Uh, apparently there's something in their way.
Principal: What?
Dude: Um, a tank.
Principal: A tank?
Dude: (nervous) An M1A1 Abrams, to be exact.
Principal: Why the hell is there a tank in the parking lot?!?!
Dude: Uh, I think it might have something to do with that scary man with the mullet that keeps holding-up the faculty.
Principal: I was afraid something like this would happen.
Meanwhile, in Snakes classroom.
[Solid Snake is standing, seemingly alone, in an empty classroom in which all the desks have been removed and non-stealth-equipped claymores have been placed near the walls.]
Snake: Where are you?
[Snake is suddenly struck in the stomach by an unseen force.]
Snake: Oof! Sunuvabitch!
[Snake delivers a sweeping kick along the ground, causing the stealth- equipped Grey Fox to fall to the ground and his stealth to malfunction.]
Fox: (being electrocuted) AHH! YES! THE PAIN!
Snake: (panting) Man, you should really stop doing that, it freaks people out.
Fox: (getting up) What?
Snake: You know, the whole "pain" thing. It gives people the creeps.
Fox: And your mullet doesn't?
Snake: Lay off!
Fox: Besides, how would I have gotten into FOXHOUND if I didn't freak people out?
Snake: I guess you're right.
Fox: (punches Snake in the jaw) Of course I am!
Snake: Ow! Damn!
[They continue to fight until Snake accidentally places his hand down in front of a claymore. Being the tough guy that he is, his arm somehow remains attached to the rest of his body.]
Later, after Snake is forced to move his Abrams and put the desks back....
Snake: Okay class, I know I promised you a special project today, but first we have to go over the differences between the M16A1 and the M16A2.
[Ben raises his hand]
Snake: What do you want?
Ben: Well, um, I did some research on you yesterday and I wanted to ask you a question.
Snake: (smug) Why yes, I have accomplished a few things, you may have heard of me. You want to ask me something about Shadow Moses?
Ben: Is it true that you're gay?
Snake: (not so smug) What?!? Of course not!
[Grey Fox, his camo now working again, can be heard snickering from the corner.]
Ben: Oh..Um, what did happen at Shadow Moses?
Snake: (frustrated) I thought you'd never ask.
Chris: I heard it was just some stupid terrorist thing and the government came in a blew them up.
Snake: Not exactly. Now listen up. I was sent in by submarine, all alone and without any weapons. The only support I had was through codec. Let's talk a little about my support. My commander my Roy Campbell, but that's not important. There was this cute little Asian girl by the name of Mei Ling. Some may think I wouldn't be interested because she's about sixteen, but I happen to like the young girls, especially the breasts-
Heather: Mr. Snake! I find this very inappropriate.
Snake: Shut up, you're going to be tested on this, and so far Kevin's the only one taking notes.
[Kevin turns red.]
Snake: Now I suggest you do the same.
[Everyone takes out their notepad, some quickly, some more reluctantly than others.]
Snake: Let's talk a little about Naomi. She was kind of slutty, but, hey, I'm not picky..
[Snake trailed on for over an hour.]
Snake:..Man, could I watch that butt move back and forth for hours. (Snake looks up at the clock) Damn! It's time for our project. I almost forgot! I trust you all brought paintball guns?
Fifteen minutes later, in the science lab.
Teacher: Now class, we're going to work with the Bunsen burners today, so I want everyone to put their goggles on now.
[As soon as the last person places their goggles on, a loud explosion is heard and the classroom door comes crashing down.]
Snake: MOVE! MOVE! MOVE!
[Several girls can be heard screaming.]
Teacher: Dave! What is the meaning of- ugh! (Snake shoots her with his M9)
Snake: COMMANDING OFFICER NEUTRALIZED!
[Snake's class opens fire with their paintball guns on the science class. All hell breaks loose.]
Brain: Eat this!
Ryan: Go to hell!
Brain: Hey! Ryan! You just shot Christine! She's on our side!
Ryan: (shrugs) Eh, I don't like her.
[One of the students from the science class stands up and shields himself with a tin tray he was working on.]
Student: Stop it! What the hell are you doing! (He is hit in the arm) Ow! Dammit! (He looks around for a weapon and spots a beaker full of diluted hydrochloric acid.) That's it! ARRGGGG! (He throws it at Chris's face)
Chris: AHHHHHH! IT BURNS! IT BURNS!
Snake: WE HAVE A CASUALTY! JESSICA! BOB! ESCORT HIM BACK TO THE CLASSROOM! [They do as they are told.]
Snake: FOX! WHERE ARE YOU? (He shoots the kid who threw the acid.)
[Two students who were magically floating in the air suddenly drop down.]
Fox: (turns his stealth off) Right here, Snake! (jumps towards Snake) Just like old times, eh?
Snake: I think we've completed the mission. Call them off! HOLD YOUR FIRE!
Fox: HOLD YOUR FIRE!
[Everybody stops.]
Snake: IT HAS TAKEN YOU- (to Fox) eh, what grade is this?
Fox: Ninth.
Snake: IT HAS TAKEN YOU TEN YEARS TO BUILD YOUR EDUCATION EMPIRE! IT HAS TAKEN US THIRTY SECONDS TO CRUSH IT! (to his class) MOVE OUT!
Well, that's it for today. Next chapter we'll see what kind of trouble Snake gets into for raiding a fellow teacher's classroom.
Day 2
Solid Snake has had a successful first day of teaching. He has scared the crap out of all of his students, and has earned the respect and admiration of some of them (mainly the boys). The second school day starts with the same thing on every one of his students' minds: the promise of a special school project. Some were dreading this, while others were looking forward to it, but the only thing they new about it was that it had something to do with a bunch of boys bringing in their paintball guns.
[Roughly a dozen yellow school busses are lined up outside the High School parking lot, many of them beeping their horns, none of them able to get in.]
Principal: What's the hold-up? Why can't the busses get in?
The-dude-that's-in-charge-of-busses: Uh, apparently there's something in their way.
Principal: What?
Dude: Um, a tank.
Principal: A tank?
Dude: (nervous) An M1A1 Abrams, to be exact.
Principal: Why the hell is there a tank in the parking lot?!?!
Dude: Uh, I think it might have something to do with that scary man with the mullet that keeps holding-up the faculty.
Principal: I was afraid something like this would happen.
Meanwhile, in Snakes classroom.
[Solid Snake is standing, seemingly alone, in an empty classroom in which all the desks have been removed and non-stealth-equipped claymores have been placed near the walls.]
Snake: Where are you?
[Snake is suddenly struck in the stomach by an unseen force.]
Snake: Oof! Sunuvabitch!
[Snake delivers a sweeping kick along the ground, causing the stealth- equipped Grey Fox to fall to the ground and his stealth to malfunction.]
Fox: (being electrocuted) AHH! YES! THE PAIN!
Snake: (panting) Man, you should really stop doing that, it freaks people out.
Fox: (getting up) What?
Snake: You know, the whole "pain" thing. It gives people the creeps.
Fox: And your mullet doesn't?
Snake: Lay off!
Fox: Besides, how would I have gotten into FOXHOUND if I didn't freak people out?
Snake: I guess you're right.
Fox: (punches Snake in the jaw) Of course I am!
Snake: Ow! Damn!
[They continue to fight until Snake accidentally places his hand down in front of a claymore. Being the tough guy that he is, his arm somehow remains attached to the rest of his body.]
Later, after Snake is forced to move his Abrams and put the desks back....
Snake: Okay class, I know I promised you a special project today, but first we have to go over the differences between the M16A1 and the M16A2.
[Ben raises his hand]
Snake: What do you want?
Ben: Well, um, I did some research on you yesterday and I wanted to ask you a question.
Snake: (smug) Why yes, I have accomplished a few things, you may have heard of me. You want to ask me something about Shadow Moses?
Ben: Is it true that you're gay?
Snake: (not so smug) What?!? Of course not!
[Grey Fox, his camo now working again, can be heard snickering from the corner.]
Ben: Oh..Um, what did happen at Shadow Moses?
Snake: (frustrated) I thought you'd never ask.
Chris: I heard it was just some stupid terrorist thing and the government came in a blew them up.
Snake: Not exactly. Now listen up. I was sent in by submarine, all alone and without any weapons. The only support I had was through codec. Let's talk a little about my support. My commander my Roy Campbell, but that's not important. There was this cute little Asian girl by the name of Mei Ling. Some may think I wouldn't be interested because she's about sixteen, but I happen to like the young girls, especially the breasts-
Heather: Mr. Snake! I find this very inappropriate.
Snake: Shut up, you're going to be tested on this, and so far Kevin's the only one taking notes.
[Kevin turns red.]
Snake: Now I suggest you do the same.
[Everyone takes out their notepad, some quickly, some more reluctantly than others.]
Snake: Let's talk a little about Naomi. She was kind of slutty, but, hey, I'm not picky..
[Snake trailed on for over an hour.]
Snake:..Man, could I watch that butt move back and forth for hours. (Snake looks up at the clock) Damn! It's time for our project. I almost forgot! I trust you all brought paintball guns?
Fifteen minutes later, in the science lab.
Teacher: Now class, we're going to work with the Bunsen burners today, so I want everyone to put their goggles on now.
[As soon as the last person places their goggles on, a loud explosion is heard and the classroom door comes crashing down.]
Snake: MOVE! MOVE! MOVE!
[Several girls can be heard screaming.]
Teacher: Dave! What is the meaning of- ugh! (Snake shoots her with his M9)
Snake: COMMANDING OFFICER NEUTRALIZED!
[Snake's class opens fire with their paintball guns on the science class. All hell breaks loose.]
Brain: Eat this!
Ryan: Go to hell!
Brain: Hey! Ryan! You just shot Christine! She's on our side!
Ryan: (shrugs) Eh, I don't like her.
[One of the students from the science class stands up and shields himself with a tin tray he was working on.]
Student: Stop it! What the hell are you doing! (He is hit in the arm) Ow! Dammit! (He looks around for a weapon and spots a beaker full of diluted hydrochloric acid.) That's it! ARRGGGG! (He throws it at Chris's face)
Chris: AHHHHHH! IT BURNS! IT BURNS!
Snake: WE HAVE A CASUALTY! JESSICA! BOB! ESCORT HIM BACK TO THE CLASSROOM! [They do as they are told.]
Snake: FOX! WHERE ARE YOU? (He shoots the kid who threw the acid.)
[Two students who were magically floating in the air suddenly drop down.]
Fox: (turns his stealth off) Right here, Snake! (jumps towards Snake) Just like old times, eh?
Snake: I think we've completed the mission. Call them off! HOLD YOUR FIRE!
Fox: HOLD YOUR FIRE!
[Everybody stops.]
Snake: IT HAS TAKEN YOU- (to Fox) eh, what grade is this?
Fox: Ninth.
Snake: IT HAS TAKEN YOU TEN YEARS TO BUILD YOUR EDUCATION EMPIRE! IT HAS TAKEN US THIRTY SECONDS TO CRUSH IT! (to his class) MOVE OUT!
Well, that's it for today. Next chapter we'll see what kind of trouble Snake gets into for raiding a fellow teacher's classroom.
