11/14/03: About Harry and Hermione's past, and the forensics report is done!
11/17/03: Updated, added a bit at the end of Harry and Hermione's fight.
5. Memories of Paradise
Harry tossed and turned all night, unable to sleep. His confrontation with Hermione outside the Longbottom's had affected him more profoundly then he cared to admit. After fighting to suppress the emotions that threatened to overwhelm him, Harry finally decided to give in.
Harry freely admitted that he had one year of life that was absolutely wonderful. He was free from responsibility, had everything he ever wanted, and was loved unconditionally. It was paradise; or at least, Harry imagined so, since he really couldn't be expected to remember how life was as a baby. Since then, Harry's suffered ten years of misery with the Dursleys, treated as filth, and then another seven years that were only slightly better as the target of a dark wizard, and alternately the hero of the wizarding world one day and it's most ridiculed citizen the next. With his final defeat of Voldemort, Harry experienced another period of life at its best. With his friends no longer in danger just by knowing him, Harry finally professed his true feelings for his best friend, Hermione Granger.
Hermione Granger. The sound of her name alone once brought a smile to his face and lifted his heart like nothing else could. Hermione Granger: best friend and soul mate. Or so he had once thought. Throughout their school years, Hermione had always been there, by his side. It's fitting that their first real interaction together occurred while facing off a mountain troll, given how often they've shared danger and faced death together. During sixth year, Harry had finally realized his growing feelings for Hermione, sparked by her near fatal encounter in the Department of Mysteries at the end of fifth year. His guilt of Sirius' death prevented him from understand his changing feelings then, but his final acceptance of Sirius and of the prophecy during sixth year paved the way for him to acknowledge that Hermione was more than just his best friend.
Their two years together were blissful (Harry had needed a year to muster his courage to reveal his feelings to her). They were both in training, Harry to be an Auror and Hermione at St. Mungo's. They shared a little flat in London, cozy and warm, living off of their combined incomes, as Harry wanted to save his inheritance for when they were married. Together they went about life happily, living as normal a life as a couple in love can when one of them is the savior of the wizarding world. Harry was happy; he had finally found love and acceptance, and he was looking forward to all the little Harry's and Hermione's that would someday be running underfoot. And he thought Hermione was happy too.
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One night, Harry returned from work to the flat they rented, slightly limping. "Honey, I'm home," he called out, enjoying this little bit of domesticity. It was rare that the two would both be home by dinnertime, given their jobs, so Harry savored the moments when they occurred.
"Hi Harry, did you have a goo – what happened?" Hermione cried out upon seeing Harry's limping form.
He shrugged. "A suspect got a little testy. Just a scratch really."
Hermione shook her head disapprovingly. "Owl post for you is on the counter. Go sit," she ordered while walking to their bedroom. Harry grabbed the mail and settled himself in his armchair. She returned moments later with her medical bag. "Let's take look then," she said, kneeling before him and rolling up his pants leg.
Harry riffled through the mail while Hermione did her magic, literally. One of the many advantages to dating Dr. Hermione Granger was the free medical service. Harry was engrossed in a letter when he heard sniffling. "Hermione? Is everything okay?" he asked, looking down at her. She nodded but didn't look up. "Hermione, look at me," he asked. She looked up, and Harry saw the tears fresh on her face. "Hermione," he said soothingly, "it's only a scratch. It's no big deal."
Hermione surprised him by springing to her feet. "This time," she said softly. "But what about next time?"
Harry looked at her curiously. "What do you mean?"
"I mean what happens the next time a suspect gets 'testy?' What happens when it's more than just a leg wound? What happens when you get hit with a killing curse?"
"It's been done before," Harry said lightly, indicating his scar. But he saw that Hermione wasn't amused in the slightest. "Hey, listen," he said, carefully rising to his feet and walking to her. "Nothing's going to happen to me. After Voldemort, this is a piece of cake."
She pulled away from him. "When does it end Harry?"
"When does what end?"
"The danger! You being hurt! Why do you have to be an Auror?"
Harry furrowed his eyebrows. "It's who I am, Hermione. You know that I've always wanted to be an Auror, ever since fifth year."
"But haven't you done enough already? You defeated Voldemort and saved the wizarding world! You deserve a break from fighting evil!"
"What are you saying? You want me to quit being an Auror?"
"Yes!" she cried. "I…I hoped with Voldemort gone we could finally have a normal life! I hate always being worried about you Harry, staying up late at night hoping you won't get killed, afraid that every time an Auror is brought into St. Mungo's that it's you! You can do anything you want Harry; you don't have to be an Auror!"
"And what do you want me to be?" Harry said, his voice rising. "Go work as a paper-pusher in the ministry? Sell flowers in Diagon Alley?"
"Yes, if it means your life won't be in danger!"
"This is who I am, Hermione," Harry repeated. "I fight evil, defend those who can't defend themselves; it says so on my Chocolate Frog card. And I'm good at it, too. Almost everyday some witch or wizard stops me in the street and tells me they feel safer with me as an Auror. What would people think if the Great Harry Potter decided all of a sudden to work at Gringott's?"
"I don't care what other people think! What about me, Harry? Don't you care about what I think? Every day since we've known each other I've worried about you, about your safety. I'm sick and tired of waking up each morning afraid that you won't be coming home at night!"" Hermione cried. Then she grew quiet. "We hardly ever see each other anymore. You spend all your time at work, on one case after another."
"That's my job Hermione!"
"It's more that a job Harry, it's like your personal quest to rid the world of evil! You don't have to do everything yourself." Harry didn't respond, remaining quiet. "We never go out anymore, we never have fun anymore." Hermione said sadly. "Listen Harry, I have a week of vacation saved up. Let's go somewhere, just the two of us?" she pleaded. "We can go somewhere warm and lounge on a beach somewhere and make love under the stars."
Harry shook his head. "You know I can't take time off right now. I have three open cases and another about to go before the Wizengamot-"
"There are other Auror out there who can take your cases Harry! You deserve, no, we deserve some time together. That job is ruining our lives, it's changing you. You always come home sullen and angry about one thing or another, and all we ever talk about is work. You're not the same Harry I knew at Hogwarts."
"Not the same?" Harry asked incuriously. "You mean not the same sniveling little whiner who was always afraid of his own shadow? The same Harry Potter who never stood up for himself and let other people control his life? Believe me Hermione, I'm forever grateful that I'm not the same Harry Potter!"
Hermione shook her head desperately. "But don't you see? You were never any of those things! You were sweet and kind and compassionate and-"
"Bah!" Harry said angrily, turning away in frustration. "This is who I am, Hermione. I have to be true to myself," he said quietly.
After a long silence, Hermione spoke. "Then I have to be true to myself as well. And the truth is I can't take anymore of this. I don't we're going to work out."
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The period of time afterwards had been horrible, comparable to his worst at Hogwarts. Ron was supportive to point, as he really couldn't take sides between his best friends. Harry didn't begrudge him that and was thankful for him just being there. At first, Harry firmly believed that after a few months apart and time to think about what had happened, he and Hermione would eventually get back together. Maybe Harry would have come to terms with his own identity and given up being an Auror; maybe Hermione would have accepted his job and come to terms with her own fears; or maybe Ron would have sat the two of them down and yelled at them until they regained their senses. The reason was immaterial; Harry knew that they still loved each other deeply, and surely love was enough?
But then, only a month later, Percy Weasley was implicated in a crime, and the wedge between Harry and Arthur and Molly Weasley and been formed. Ron was further conflicted, with his own brother and family complicating his loyalties. Harry never lost faith in his last remaining best friend, but they weren't close during those months, and Ron would never have that opportunity to talk to his two best friends about their failed relationship. His surrogate family being shattered, and so close to the break-up with Hermione, sent Harry spiraling downward into a deep depression, shutting everyone out and immersing himself into his work. Harry felt completely alone, trapped into his life by the scar he bore on his forehead. Harry never was able to have that honest discussion with Hermione. She was gone, all her things packed and moved away a month later. Harry's world returned to its previous state, of paradise lost.
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Harry awoke the next morning with a sense of purpose. Thinking of Hermione wasn't helping anything, least of all the Campbells. Harry took a long shower, symbolically washing himself of the emotions he felt last night, and then quickly dressed for work. Harry flooed to the Ministry and headed for the Bullpen, eager to arrive, for today he would find out if the Campbells were an isolated incident or part of some grander scheme.
"Well? Well?" he asked excitedly to Robert as soon as he entered the Bullpen. Robert only shook his head, looking up from a parchment.
"No word yet. The report's been done for hours, but I think it's being run through channels. I haven't seen it yet, anyways. The Cap'n said he'd let us know. Sit awhile and cool your heels."
Harry nodded dejectedly and then sat down. Typical bureaucracy. Having nothing better to do, Harry picked up the Daily Prophet and filled through its pages. After two hours, while Harry was engrossed in the crossword puzzle, Captain Perry finally emerged from his office. "Toms, Potter, let's go. You too, Price and Clarke. We're going to Conference Room B." Harry and Robert traded confused and curious looks with Darren Price and Nick Clarke, fellow detectives. The four followed their captain to the conference room, and Harry entered to find that there were other people there already.
"Tonks! Shacklebolt!" Nymphadora Tonks and Kingsley Shacklebolt were standing near the door, and the three exchanged pleasant greetings. Though Harry had followed them into the same profession, he did not work with either of the old Order members.
The disastrous term of Cornelius Fudge and the way he was able to exercise control over the Aurors, as well as the incompetence of other related departments revealed the need to re-organize the entire MLE, more commonly known as the Department of Magical Law Enforcement. But the real trigger of change was the political scandal that Harry had uncovered, the one that resulted in Percy spending a decade of his life in a minimum-security prison. The biggest problem, a study had shown, was that the Auror Division was the most prestigious part of the Department of Magical Law Enforcement, meaning that the best and brightest became Aurors. This, of course, was good for Aurors, but it also meant that the other divisions - Misuse of Muggle Artifacts, the Improper Use of Magic, etc. – were seen as less than sub par, and attracted a much lower caliber of candidates. In fact, the Hit Wizard squads generally consisted of thugs and brutes. Although an occasional diamond could be found among the rough (like Arthur Weasley in the Misuse of Muggle Artifacts Office), for the most part bright students who were rejected from the Auror division for lack of space generally found jobs outside the Ministry, rather than in any of the other departments
So, in move of sweeping changes, the entire Department was re-organized. Now, everyone was considered as an Auror (mostly a public relations move). Four divisions were formed: Crime and Investigations, Muggle Crimes, Forensics, and Surveillance and Intelligence. All four divisions interacted frequently with each other, and all four departments worked cases that involved Muggles (for instance, Harry had worked on a small robbery case that would have normally been under responsibility of the Misuse of Muggle Artifacts Office). Muggle Crimes was the smallest, as there weren't that many crimes against magicals perpetrated by Muggles. Crime and Investigations, of which Harry was a part of, was the largest, consisting of patrolmen, detectives, and revamped hit wizard squads. Tonks was in the Surveillance and Intelligence Division, or a fancy way of saying that she was a spy (given her Metamorphagus abilities, Harry thought it was a perfect fit), and Shacklebolt was Chief of S&I, reporting directly to Amelia Bones, Head of the Department.
Charles Kaye, Chief of C&I, was also in the conference room, and Harry and Robert made their manners. Harry also spotted the Chief of Forensics, Dr. Rich Garcia, also there along with the forensics officer that Harry had dragged out to the crime scene. Even the Chief of MC was there, along with Ambassador Woods from the Department of International Magical Cooperation. Whatever was going on, whatever was in that forensics report, it was big. Harry's suspicions were confirmed when Amelia Bones herself entered the room.
A/N: Although it's only been two days, I feel like I should apologize for updating late shrug. I seem to be suffering from a lack of motivation right now. I suppose that my writing frenzy (posting a total of 128 thousand words in a little over two months) is starting to catch up with me. Hopefully a nice, relaxing weekend and some golf (supposed to be in the upper 40's!) will recharge the batteries.
Hopefully my break-up of Harry and Hermione was somewhat believable. I think only three things could come between them:
1) Harry's fame, but that's more of a nuisance, really.
2) Harry's jealousy. Yes, he's not jealous in canon, but I figure after the life he's lead, he'd be pretty insecure about being loved, so he'd be irrationally jealous when Hermione talks to other men. But I decided not to use it because that issue could be a chapter in itself.
3) Hermione wanting a normal life. Of course, if Harry picked a safe occupation it wouldn't be an issue.
Calen: hehe sorry, but I am a sucker for a happy ending. Harry's too disgusted with the whole scar/fame thing that the witches who throw themselves at him disgust him.
Funkie Star: Hope everything works out for you okay. As I told Calen, I like happy endings.
onkel: I suppose after living through such serious times with Harry, Rick provides a nice distraction, someone without a lot of angst or responsibility. They haven't been going out too long.
HeeroTomoe: yah, Harry can be pretty cold when he wants to be. SPOILER: Remember in OOTP when he lied to Ron and Hermione about his dream and said he was dreaming that he was watching Ron play Quidditch and was urging Ron to reach "just a bit farther" for the Quaffle? I thought Harry was pretty hilarious at times in the latest book.
sethro72: yah, Harry feels pretty hopeless then his life will improve (and can you blame him?), so he doesn't bother to try and change things. He does keep his work to himself, not wishing to burden his problems on other people. Besides, he really only has Ron as a true confident (the twins and Gin aren't on the same level), and he doesn't want to do anything to risk that.
Facade1: I dunno if I'll have a Rick vs. Harry scene. It really serves no purpose except that it'd be pretty cool. Thoughts? Anyone?
ears91: Well, we all know Hermione hasn't thought the best of her looks, and though Harry used to tell her that she's beautiful all the time, she just thinks he's being Harry. When Rick started to pay attention to her, she was very flattered and, like I said to onkel, she subconsciously views him as a break from the emotional rollar-coaster that is Harry Potter. Natalie McDonald is a Gryffindor a couple of years younger than Gin, I believe. Here's a quote from the HP Lexicon about her:
"Natalie's name comes from a Canadian girl who was very sick. She loved the Harry Potter books and contacted JKR. The author wrote her and told her some of the secrets of the books to come, but Natalie had died by the time the letter arrived. Natalie's mother responded and she and JKR have since become friends. Jo put Natalie in GF, sorted into Gryffindor, as a tribute. (story originally appeared in the Toronto Globe and Mail)"
JT: hehe. Well, Hermione still has feelings for Harry no matter what, and she's hurt by his cold behavior. Harry has feelings for Hermione too, but they're buried under a lot of emotional scar tissue.
