~The most pristine and selfless emotion can only be seen when the mettle of a love unrequited is tried and found to be unblemished.

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Chapter 2: Treacherous is the Twilight

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The birds were singing now. Spring had just begun. If Rin had to choose a favorite time of year, perhaps she would have chosen spring, when warmth seeped into the hardened earth and leaves sprouted anew from barren branches. But she loved all times of the year, even the bitterest of winters, for now she had a home, and there was always a hearty fire when she was cold. Home in Sesshoumaru's castle, where they now lived, where they had been living since Naraku's defeat. Her room on the second floor, surrounded by gardens filled with all her favorite flowers. There had been a time when she took care of that garden by herself, but...

"Rin, cease your daydreaming!"

She used to love digging in the soft earth and planting delicate bulbs. She used to love to sing as she trimmed the trees and picked the weeds. There had always been a great joy when she walked beneath the branches she cared for, when she scent of her blossoms drifted through her balcony. There used to be a ladder hanging down from the edge, so she could go directly to the garden any time she wished. But now...

"Rin, are you listening to me?"

Now she had to do other things.

Rin turned back from the window, sighing lightly as she turned to her literary tutor. He was an old man with lost eyes and a face so full of wrinkles that no one could tell whether they were lines of laughter or of sadness. She'd often caught him in a daze as well, so he had no right to berate her for being inattentive.

"Hai, Keron-sensei." Her voice was softer than it had been when she was a child. Slightly richer and more resonant, but it had not grown too deep. Perhaps it was because she was thin as a stick. In Rin's experience, thin ladies did not have deep voices. She also believed that her skinniness made her clumsy. Ever since her height started shooting up at the beginning of winter she seemed to do nothing but trip over her own arms and legs. Fifteen was such an awkward age.

"Then stop looking out the window and read. It is a masterpiece, a true work of literary genius," Keron said, jabbing his finger down at the paper before her. "I intend for you to finish the stanza before I release you to your dance class."

Rin sighed again before looking down at the poem before her. Or at least, Keron called it a poem. It was longer than many of the book's he'd had her read. "Why must I?" she asked. "It is from a country far away, which I will never go to. It's spring, Keron-sensei," she added wistfully. Sometimes it was so very difficult to keep herself from jumping up and running wild outside as she used to. She could still run, and she could still laugh, and sing, and play, but she had to do it with grace. Right now, she didn't have any grace.

"Because," he said in a long-suffering tone of voice which showed that he had argued this point with her many times, "it opens your mind. It forces you think and makes you more intelligent. Intelligence is a desirable trait, one which will be possessed by anyone worth knowing. Sesshoumaru-sama wishes you to learn it, so I'm sure he will find you a husband who will properly value your intellectual talents. Besides, it is a wonderful story. Someday, perhaps you will tell it to others."

"A husband," Rin whispered, her mind once again drifting off. She saw in her mind a lean and handsome man with a winsome smile. But somehow, that image looked wrong. No, she decided, she wanted a more serious man. He could be charming, but not... well, not jolly or anything. Still, something was not quite right. It was hard to visualize something when she didn't really know what she wanted.

Keron saw that he'd lost her attention once again, and he gave up for the day. "If you can't concentrate here Rin, go to your dance instructor. I'm sure some physical activity will perk you up." Then he glanced around conspiringly and said in a low voice, "You know, I hear Sesshoumaru is inviting all sorts of princes, warriors, and lords here as soon as the roads dry. Just more than a dozen males of rank for miles around and their courts are to come here and stay in this enormous castle and the immediately surrounding lands. He doesn't strike me as one to hold a court for amusement." Keron reached over and tweaked Rin's nose, as both a gesture of affection and to make sure he had her complete attention. "For whose benefit will they be here?"

Rin's eyes widened in shock. She'd never expected Sesshoumaru to do that for her, and certainly not now. It was too soon. Of course, she knew that many village girls were married and had children by her age, but she was still learning. Did he expect her to choose someone this instant?

Keron, seeing her nervousness, chuckled. "I don't think I was supposed to tell you that, but the harm's done. Don't worry," he continued, as though he'd read her mind, "I don't think Sesshoumaru-sama expects you to make a decisive choice anytime soon. This is just... how do I put it... experimentation. Now go to dance. My, my, child, you can be brilliant when you try, but when you get absentminded one must say something a thousand times before you hear."

"Gomen, Keron-sensei," Rin said with a smile as she leaned over and pecked her teacher on the forehead. She gathered her kimono and rose from the chair in one fluid motion. She didn't have an etiquette and posture teacher, but she didn't really need one. She was always trying to imitate Sesshoumaru, and he was the exemplar of graceful elegance. Her kimono was getting short again. Soon Sesshoumaru would have to but her a new one. Would she ever stop growing?

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Rin twitched nervously as she adjusted the obi on her Nagagi. Shimmering red silk fell to her feet, the gold embroidery on the cloth catching every nuance of the candlelight. Tonight she would formally come out before the assembled court. She had been introduced to some of the lords as they'd come, but now everyone would be there. The courting would begin.

She frowned down at herself. Why couldn't Sesshoumaru have waited a few years before he did this? She was grateful enough for his effort in finding her a worthy husband, but did he have to choose now? Now when she was flat-chested with lanky limbs and red spots which kept appearing at the edges of her face. He was asking those poor lords to go on a lot of faith, having them to court her when she was so ugly. Who knew how she'd turn out? Perhaps that was the point. Perhaps he didn't want them to choose her for her looks. Still... Rin sighed. She would have wanted to at least feel beautiful when she met her future husband.

Absently she raised her hand to scratch her nose, only to remember a moment later that she was not to touch her face because of the makeup. Her hair was done up in an annoying manner as well, but there was nothing she could do to ease the discomfort. The poor maids had spent nearly an hour on its intricate loops and inane jewels. Whatever the pain and itch, she did not wish to ruin all their hard work.

This will only be one night, she told herself. Tomorrow she could be herself again.

~*~

"Prince Shanyue, of the Chinese Moon Clan," Jaken squawked imperially.

"Pleased to meet you, Shanyue-dono."

"Lord Manako, of the Cat Clan."

"I am honored to make your acquaintance, Manako-dono."

Rin took a moment to glance fugitively at Sesshoumaru. Her back hurt from sitting up so long and the line of introductions still continued as far as she could see. There was absolutely no way she could remember more than two or three of the entourages every prospective mate brought, yet here she had been introduced to more than seven. And still they kept coming. She wanted to take a rest, get a drink of water, perhaps slouch just a little. But Sesshoumaru sat there, still as a mountain, gracefully inclining his head to the worthies. If Sesshoumaru could stand this, so could she. She would not anger him. She would not disgrace him. She would not seem ungrateful.

But how much she hated this formality!

"Lord Manako's sister, Akanine."

"A pleasure to meet you, Akanine-dono."

Rin continued for a long time, trying to be attentive, but she always found her mind drifting.

"Lord Aki of the East," Jaken proclaimed again, and Rin prepared to answer, but as she looked up, her breath was stolen away.

The others had been fair, but Aki was beautiful in an absolutely devastating way. His fair hair fell just to his shoulders, and there was a small quirk in his mouth, as though he longed to smile at a joke no one else could hear. Even his long lashes and fine brows glowed a soot- speckled gold. And, oddly enough, he was most definitely human, with the rare aquamarine eyes that would lead a girl far, far away. Youkai, Rin decided, still speechless, were allowed to be this handsome. Heigar, one of her first introductions, and the one she had the greatest interest in, had been a youkai. And Heigar was decidedly more gorgeous than this Aki, but Aki was a human. If Rin ever chose to care about such things, Aki was far closer to her rank and her age.

"Ay me," said he when she failed to find her voice, "what a lovely lady!" He reached forward in a move of great daring and brought her hand to his lips. Rin felt her face heat up as Sesshoumaru growled slightly beside her. Aki flashed a dazzling smile and met her eyes before he bowed and turned away. Jaken didn't look altogether pleased, and Rin didn't dare look at Sesshoumaru. She hoped Aki wasn't going to be kicked out, though.

Jaken cleared his throat. "Tija..." he continued, but Rin found it ten times more difficult to concentrate. She couldn't think past those beautiful eyes and golden hair.

~*~

"Indeed, yes, this is a wonderful garden!" Aki exclaimed as he walked between her carefully cultivated hibiscus rows. He turned and grinned at her and Rin blushed prettily in return. "Do you come here often?" he asked.

"I used to work in it myself, Aki-sama, before my lessons started," Rin replied, glancing wistfully at the shrubs she once cultivated, at the myriad colors which lay in perfect harmony in a perfect little world.

"Truly?" He was genuinely surprised, but Rin was pleased note no sneer of contempt in his voice. He did not find the labor of the hands demeaning, as so many of the lords did. Heigar had not respected her will to remain close to nature. To him a lady's place was watching the flowers, not digging in the ground in a rough cotton robe.

"Yes," Rin whispered as a butterfly alighted on her finger. She held out her hand to Aki and laughed when his gasp of shock sent the butterfly fleeing away. "I often wish I still did, but I not have the time to take proper care of it anymore. Sesshoumaru-sama has his gardeners work on it now."

Aki turned his head to regard her, his hair flashing a heavenly gold in the brilliant as he did so, though his face now fell into the shadows. "I understand he saved your life. Does he take good care of you?"

"Hai. I have everything I could want. Fine clothes, good food, lovely trinkets, this garden," she spread her arms out, twirling in a graceful, light-footed circle, "this garden all to myself, and the best teachers money can buy." She took a deep breath and let it out slowly, eyes sparkling and face aglow with light. "Everything I have asked for has been given to me by Sesshoumaru-sama."

"That name," Aki murmured softly, a subtle, thoughtful edge coloring his words. "You speak it so melodiously, as though it were a caress."

"Sesshoumaru-sama?" Rin asked dubiously.

"Yes, that one," Aki stated in a serious tone that completely differed from the light and joyous man Rin had gotten to know. Aki of the million jokes and ready smiles, Aki would walked with a bounce in his steps, who swung her in his arms and enchanted her with stories of his beautiful home. Aki, whom she had fallen in love with. Aki... why didn't she love him anymore?

The racing heart had slowed and the fog had disappeared. She still cherished deep in her heart the way he acted and the way he treated her, but it was not the same. Try as she might, she could not get back the original feeling of paradise around him. She could no longer say with any surety that she would be utterly content by his side forever.

"What distinguishes him from the rest of the world?" Aki continued.

Rin thought about this for a few minutes as they walked in a heavy silence. "Sesshoumaru-sama has given me everything. Sesshoumaru-sama never hit me. Sesshoumaru-sama protected me. Sesshoumaru-sama took me in. Sesshoumaru-sama brought me back from the dead." She continued back through her life, wondering how to explain what made him so special to her. "Sesshoumaru-sama came back for me."

"I could take care of you," Aki said sadly. "I would never hurt you, and I would protect you. Is it not enough?"

"It is," Rin said earnestly as she stared up into his eyes. She wanted to mean it. She wanted to assure him that she would be perfectly content at his side, that his love would be all she needed, but in her heart, she knew it was a lie. "But it's not the same," she continued stubbornly, ignoring the voice within her which might have told Aki the truth. How much more could she say without losing her true self in the lies? "I don't need rescuing anymore. I'm not seven anymore. Sesshoumaru- sama came back for me, and then I knew I would never be alone again, because someone in the world cared. Sesshoumaru-sama cared even though I was a dirty little human girl who had so foolishly offered him food and drenched him with water. He was the first person in the longest time. I don't remember anyone who had been kind before him. He is the beginning of my life."

Aki didn't respond, and Rin knew that he guessed some small part of what lay within her. He had heard what she'd refused to say. He turned his face away, the golden aura around his hair dying off as his face turned again towards the light. The two began to walk in silence again.

Finally, as Rin grew worried that she had said the wrong thing and angered Aki, he smiled that stunning smile of his again and asked, ever cheerful, "Tell me, I know you must love all of these, but which flower is your favorite?"

"My..." Rin looked around. She'd never thought about it before. It was a difficult choice. How she cherished them all! But suddenly, softly, a beam of sunlight suddenly stuck a particular flower, and her heart turned. Yes, she decided, I do love that one most. "The Amaryllis," she replied.

He let out a fair and floating laugh then, and that secret, half- smile floated at his lips again. "Tell me, my dear, have you studied other languages?" he asked.

"No," she replied, surprised at the question. "Why do you ask?"

"Because the flower suits you well. Amaryllis means, 'one with sparkling eyes.'"

"You're eyes are prettier than mine," Rin pointed out, almost bitter.

"Ha!" he challenged, "Mine are the blue eyes of the outer ocean, of the great deep, of the snow in winter twilight, but you, you have chestnut eyes of the earth's warm joy beneath the shade of mighty mountains. Yours are the eyes of the thousand-year-old trees and the newborn saplings. Yours are that which glimmers with polished bronze and warm fires. I have the eyes of distant, forlorn wastes, but you have the eyes of life. There is a great difference. Yours are fairer by far."

Rin blinked, speechless once again. That was beautiful, and he danced as he spoke it, a pulsing line beneath all his words which told her he meant what he said. Yet his tone was light, sweet, and joyous, imploring her to understand, catching her and pulling her in. Yes, a girl would be insane to refuse a man like him, and yet... suddenly Aki stopped mid-stride, his brows knitting as his jovial mood disappeared.

"What's wrong?" Rin asked, concerned.

"I just remembered something. Amaryllis means 'one of sparkling eyes,' but Amara means 'bitter'. It doesn't fit you at all, but somehow, it came to my mind and will not leave. I thought I lacked the ability to prophesy which has cursed so much of my family, and yet I could swear... that some sort of trouble..." He stared at Rin, and then behind her, squinting, as though he could not quite see what was there. "Never mind," he finally amended, "it was probably nothing."

"Don't worry. If there is danger, Sesshoumaru-sama will protect me!" She nearly glowed as she said that, and there was such trust and surety in her voice that Aki could not bear to look at her. How could he have allowed himself to fall in love with one whose heart had long been taken?

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"I hear Heigar-dono has taken a real interest in you," Keron remarked offhand when he saw Rin drift off again. She was usually decently attentive in her lessons, but every once in a while, no force on earth could get her to concentrate.

"Taken an interest in my dowry and alliance, is what you mean," Rin scoffed. She yawned and stretched up, feeling another of those uncomfortable jiggles in her chest. Perhaps she should ask her dance instructor about it. She would ask Sesshoumaru, but seeing as he didn't have any... wobbly chest, it might not be the best idea to approach him. "I assure you Heigar has no interest in me. For all his perfect looks and stunning wit, he's got something against females and humans, both of which I, unfortunately, am."

"You used to be quite smitten with him."

"I grew out of it, once I found out how much of a jerk he was."

"You seem more smitten still with Aki-dono now." Keron glanced over at Rin slyly, hoping to catch some indications of her thoughts on the human prince. He was surprised to see her neither embarrassed nor love-struck. On the contrary, she looked confused and annoyed.

"Keron-sensei, how do you know what love is?" she asked suddenly.

"Why do you ask?" He was not surprised that she asked, since it was something he had once wondered. The young always wish to know such things. Still, the entire castle assumed she was in love with Aki, so she should have some idea, right?

"Once, I thought I loved Heigar, but I found he was cruel, so it made sense that I did not like him any more. Then, I thought I fell in love with Aki. Aki was so sweet and he always treated me well. He's handsome and learned and charming with a great sense of humor. Any girl would give her left arm to have him, and the more I get to know him, the more virtues I uncover. There's nothing wrong with him, and yet, I don't think I love him anymore. Does love dull with time, Keron-sensei? I feel warmth, but it somehow doesn't seem like love." Rin sighed and rested her pointed chin on her palm.

"There are many kinds of love," Keron answered thoughtfully. "For example, I love you, and I dare say you love me as well. But it is not something to marry over. Your parents probably loved you too. Just warmth is enough for many, many marriages, if both husband and wife enjoy each other's company. There is also love which strikes like lightning and fades as quickly, leaving a very discontent couple. It all depends. Do you think you would be happy with Aki?" he asked.

Rin pondered this for a very long time. Finally, she said, "I like Aki very much, but I want him to stay here. I don't want to leave with him. I don't know if I'd be happy away from here, even if Aki were where my new home was. Do you understand, Keron-sensei?"

"Perhaps that is just homesickness, a desire to cling to the familiar. It is nothing unusual. You would, of course, be allowed to visit. If that is all that holds you back, you should accept him."

"No," Rin said, shaking her head. "It feels wrong somehow, marrying Aki. As wrong as marrying Keiri or Pargee, who have also been nice to me, and who have such beautiful voices I could listen to them forever. I like them all, and I know I flirt with them every day, but the prospect of marrying any of them... it strikes an arrow through my heart. It feels wrong," she repeated stubbornly.

Rin was very sad then, because she did not understand why her heart was being so confusing. Could it not simply love Aki? Then all would be well. Keron saw her distress and tried to answer as best he could.

"Love should never feel wrong," he replied. Then, he turned his face away and closed his eyes. "It should lift you heart and make you soar. As though, each time you see her, your heart fills and your eyes tear, because you love her that much. The rest of the world doesn't matter. Eternity and heaven don't matter, because she is just... everything."

Rin was stunned. "Were you in love, Keron-sensei?"

He chuckled and turned back to her, smiling warmly. "I still am," was his simple reply.

"Then where is she?" Rin asked.

"Ranin was killed in war three decades ago, along with our two sons and darling daughter. I had been traveling, so I was spared. She was so very lovely, my Ranin. Tender eyes and a gentle smile, always waiting for me, welcoming me home after my long quests for knowledge. And I came home one day, and they had all died, bodies broken and strewn on the floor." He voice just stopped then, as though something had caught in his throat, and tears flowed down the lines of his aged face.

"I'm sorry," Rin whispered.

"Don't be. I always try to keep her memory alive." Then, still thinking of Rin's original question, he continued, "Falling in love with her was gradual, until one day, I realized I couldn't live without her, so I asked her to marry me, and to my great joy, she accepted. There is nothing I desire more than to join her again, even after all these years."

"Then," Rin began, "then why are you still here?"

"Because suicide is a terrible waste, Rin." He looked her strait in the eye and took her hands in his as he continued. "Even though you might go through the direst pain, suicide is never a solution. Just because you lost your comfort and your great fire does not mean you should deprive others of your warmth. And it does not mean you cannot enjoy the small pleasures all around you. If I die, all the good I could have done would be cut short. Perhaps this would lead to more suffering. I would not be your teacher now. I would never have known you." He smiled sadly.

"I still love Ranin," he continued, "even though she is not with me, even though she cannot show me her love, but I know she's waiting for me, and I will live my life here until my work is done. I will join her with a clear conscience, knowing that I have done my best to help others. I will continue though she is gone, and her kindness lives on in me."

Silent streams of tears flowed down Rin's face as well, because she never knew he carried this much pain around. How could he continue, day to day, never having the one he loved? Where did he find the strength not only to live, but to look normal? "Is that what love is?" she whispered.

"Yes," he replied. "Love is not the stuff of epic tragedies. It is not slaying a rival or yourself when love is denied. It's continuing without your love, because you know it is what they want you to do. It's allowing them to be happy, even if you must suffer. You don't need to demand their attention, because... because you are attending to them."

He sighed softly and glanced over to Rin, whose eyes were red and puffy and who was sniffing rather piteously. He knew he had deeply touched her, and he truly hoped she'd take his lesson to heart. She was one who would love, and when she did, she'd give that love passionately, with all that was in her. But the path might not be so smooth. He didn't want her to do anything foolish, to ruin her life or anyone else's. Though she was usually sweet tempered, she was young enough that she might go into fits of rage when her heart took over. She still wore her emotions on her sleeve, after all. She did not bear the scars that would force her shield herself. If heaven was merciful she would.

"There now, child, I've distressed you," he said gently, patting her on her back as she hiccupped. "Go clean up. It's not so terrible, really. I'll do fine. It's almost my time anyway. I'll see her then."

"I don't want you to die, Keron-sensei!" Rin screamed as she buried her face into his shirt.

"Of course not, child. Not anytime soon. Now go to dance. I believe you're late again."

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Rin looked up curiously as she closed the double brass doors of Sesshoumaru's study behind her. Had he noticed her entrance? Of course he had, but he did not look up from his work. Well, that was only to be expected. Why would he stop writing his important documents just to talk to her? Rin smiled slightly as she glanced around. The setting sun cast an ethereal light around the circular room, which had shockingly expensive glass windows plated around half its circumference. From sunrise to sunset, whatever the season, light always shone into this chamber. The most beautiful time, though, was high noon at midwinter, when the southern tilt of the sun caught the glass perfectly, and for a few minutes, the room filled with shattered rainbows. Perhaps Sesshoumaru had designed it this way.

Her eyes drifted to Sesshoumaru next, the solitary figure at his desk, facing her. Pearly hair washed with the gold of sunset so that its strands matched the patient fire in his eyes. Rin had long ago decided that Sesshoumaru was not emotionless, nor was he indifferent to the world around him. He looked so to the outer world, but inside, he was waiting for something. Something she could not begin to fathom. He did destroy, and he did hold much of the world in contempt, but he did nothing without purpose. The rest of the world might see what it wished, might label his actions as good or evil, but Sesshoumaru himself was working towards a secret end in the far distant future.

She continued to gaze at his flawless skin, his blood-like markings, and his elegant, deadly fingers. Suddenly, she was overcome with vertigo, and the world seemed to flicker away at her feet. One step more, and she would fall.

"Rin."

It was the voice of wooded mountains, of lavish forests. It was the rumble that came before the storm, the whisper of the clouds which covered the whole earth. It was Sesshoumaru.

The chasm opened beneath her.

"Hai, Sesshoumaru-sama?" she managed after a short spell, answering from far away.

"Do you know why you have been called here?" he inquired

Carefully, unsure of what had happened, Rin pulled herself back to the here and now, so she could giver her full attention to Sesshoumaru. What had that feeling been? Unconsciously, her hand moved toward her heart. Nothing, it was nothing. Perhaps she had a little fever.

"No, Sesshoumaru-sama, I have no idea," she replied softly, staring down at her feet. Always before, she had looked him in the eye, but now she found her head too heavy to lift.

"There is little time before dinner, so I will be brief." Sesshoumaru rested his hand lightly on the table before him, drumming with his fingers in an uncharacteristic display of discomfort. His face remained passionless. "I understand that a few of the lords I invited have shown great interest in you. The ones whom you ignored have already left, but those you favor have remained. Today I received your first formal marriage request."

"Who is it?" Rin asked, so excited that her eyes shot up to look at Sesshoumaru. "Is it Aki?"

Sesshoumaru leveled his cool gaze at her, as though calculating her response. "Heigar has asked for your hand. He seemed to have no doubt about your answer."

Rin recoiled as though she were burned. She did not like Heigar. In the beginning, he had been alright, but now she would not consider spending even a week with him. "No!" she cried vehemently.

Had Sesshoumaru been another person, he might have asked why, or at least maybe raise an eyebrow. But he only continued to stare, and then asked, "Should I inform Aki that you await his word?"

Here Rin had to pause and think. Of all the suitors, she loved Aki best, but somehow she knew that she did not want to be his wife. She just didn't want to. Something was wrong. "No," she finally said. "No, even if he were to propose, I would not accept."

"Why not?

"I don't know, Sesshoumaru-sama," Rin sighed, "but the answer is just no." Slowly, her hands clutched the cloth of her pink kimono and she held onto it as a lifeline.

He took a deep breath, but questioned her about Aki no further. "Autumn is fast approaching," he stated. "Your suitors, lords all, missed the planting season to come here. I know they are eager to return to oversee the harvest. Should I send them home, or is there someone you wish to stay, whose offer you would accept?"

"No." Rin spoke with certainty. After all, she had already rejected Aki. "I will not marry without love, and I am in love no one."

/Liar,/ she whispered in her own mind, for she knew it was true. /Liar./ Her hands tightened still further on her kimono. /Sesshoumaru- sama. I would marry you./ The realization hit her like a rockslide. So swiftly did it come upon her that she almost blurted it out. Why had she never noticed before?
No, of course she had known before. She had always known. But how long had she been running? And why was it suddenly impossible to run anymore? She thought she'd pulled herself out of the chasm, but now she knew that she had fallen in long ago, and that it was no longer possible to climb back. She looked up at him with dazed eyes.

/I love... Sesshoumaru-sama./

But how could she? He was her lord, her father, her guardian spirit. When had she fallen in love? Why did it have to be with him, who hated humans? He would not love her back, not like this. Her heart sped up until each beat sent waves of pain through her body. /Yes, I have loved him for a very long time. But ever before, I could just step away and think of other things. Now I cannot run. Now I know my heart, and it hurts, it hurts.../

"Rin, what's wrong?"

"Nothing, Sesshoumaru-sama. I think the stresses of today have wearied me. I just need a little rest." Without waiting for his response, she turned out of the room and fled. If she stayed any longer, she might do something she regretted. The halls, familiar but cold, blurred around her.

In her room Rin began to weep. She loved him, she loved him. What was wrong with her? She knew better than that. Hopeless, it was hopeless, but her heart would not leave her be. Saffron eyes, sterling hair, sacred voice. Patient, tender, and noble. Savior, friend, and protector. He was not so cold that she did fall for him, not so cruel that she was repelled.

What had happened? Once she could have lived the rest of her life happily by his side as his Rin. Who cared about husbands? She could braid flowers into his hair and sing in the garden and dance with the wind. She had been perfectly content in his presence before. Now, how would she be able to walk nonchalantly beside him? How would she stay normal when she spoke to him? How would she live? What had gone wrong? Treachery, such treachery.

Why had her heart betrayed her?

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Author's note: I'd be very glad if someone would beta read all these chapters and highlight any stupid mistakes (like se instead of she, word repeats and sentences that just plain don't make sense) and send it to me at "plato_on_fire@yahoo.com". Sometimes I really don't have time to proofread with all my schoolwork. (Wow! One of my friends just showed me that this site has reviews. Wah! So cool!) All literary criticism welcome! (Be it sociological, moral, psychological, formal, or archetypal... and if you know what those (the five schools of literary criticism) are, kudos! ^_~ No, just kidding. But if you do critique it in one of the fields, do archetypal, 'cause I like it best!)

And man, these fanatic fictions are harder to write than they look. It's all coming out so wrong; I might revamp the plot to fit the characters better. They didn't act this way when I played this out in my head, ya know... I swear I'm not crazy, really! And if and when I ever revise this, some of those super long descriptions have got to go... *shudders* Not to mention Midnight was supposed to be introduced in this chapter, and look, she's not! Neeeeeeext Chappy, people! (Which will likely not be up until after the AP exams and the June SAT tests. I don't like to study, but suddenly it has become a necessity... .)