Jack pulled into his driveway and noticed Sydney's car parked along the street. He ran a hand impatiently through his hair. It had been a difficult day and he wasn't sure if he was up to opening more old wounds. Not that he wasn't thrilled to share the videos with his daughter.
He had carried the burden of Irina's defection alone for so many years that this sharing of the past brought with it a form of release. It would have been much more preferable for Sydney to never have learned the truth about her mother and, had it been within his power, he would have carried that information to the grave. But such is life and he long ago learned to play with the hand he was dealt. Holding on to secrets have a way of weighing a person down and its heavy burden had taken its toll.
Now, though, the two of them had so much more in common. Best of all, he was being given a second chance, a golden opportunity to reconnect with his daughter. He just hoped he wouldn't screw it up.
But tonight. Tonight he really felt the need to be alone.
The meeting that afternoon had been short and to the point. He was the last to arrive and Kendall gave him an impatient nod. He barely had time to sit when Kendall launched into the briefing.
"A few hours ago, intelligence was informed that one of CNN's top foreign news reporters went missing in Germany. This wouldn't normally fall under our jurisdiction and we almost missed it as a vital clue in our search for Sloane."
Jack tensed at the mention of the missing reporter, then relaxed when he realized the kidnapping took place in Germany. Jane was in Milan.
"The journalist is Jane Goodwin," Kendall continued over Jack and Sydney's gasps. "I'm sorry, Jack." Kendall gave him a sympathetic look.
Jack heard Vaughn whisper to Sydney "Do you know her?" Sydney responded quietly, "My aunt, Dad's sister."
"What happened?" Jack was desperately trying to recover from his shock. It didn't make sense. Why would Sloane want his sister?
"The head of the Milan desk for CNN said they received a call, an anonymous tip about a nuclear arms shipment being smuggled through Amsterdam. They set up a meeting in Frankfurt, specifically requesting Mrs. Goodwin. They also stipulated that she come alone or the deal was off."
"He let her go without back-up?" Jack decided he would personally strangle that particular station chief.
"No. He called in one of his best undercover reporters to go with her, but she slipped out without him. The only reason we found out so quickly that she was missing is because she failed to check in with her husband at the appointed time." Kendall looked at Jack briefly. "He wanted to call you, Jack, but the authorities in Germany wouldn't let him. They are trying to keep this under wraps, as you can understand. We got word about this when he finally told them you were CIA."
Jack nodded, understanding what his brother-in-law was going through. "I need to talk to him. Is there any way I can reach him?"
"It's all set up in my office. We already have a team on site to investigate. Some of you will be called in later to supplement."
Jack sat in the car a moment before heading in to the house. Not for the first time, he wondered if he'd been born under some unlucky star. Once upon a time he thought he had it all, only to learn he had nothing. He thought of his unyielding father and his attempts to measure up. He thought of those golden years with Laura and the devastation when he learned who she really was. Then he thought of Sydney and his heart ached. The day she was born, he held her in his arms and vowed to protect her from all harm. He failed there, too.
Sydney looked up as he entered the den. "Hey, Dad, any more news?" Jack shook his head no. "When you didn't come home, I thought they let you go to Germany."
"No, I'd only be in the way. When they get a concrete lead, then I'll go."
"I've poured your whiskey for you. You look beat. Why don't you go change?"
"Thanks." Jack gratefully took the drink and headed up the stairs. With a shock, he realized that it felt good to have Sydney home tonight. Perhaps being alone was not what he needed after all.
He took a hot shower, relishing the bite of the water against his skin. Refreshed, he made his way back to Sydney. She was scanning through the videos obviously looking for something. She hit the pause button when he entered.
"I'm trying to find our trip to Disney World. It's on this disk somewhere." She turned back to the tv. "Oh, this must be it. I remember wearing that dress for the plane trip." She hit the play button.
"Sydney, I don't think that's the Disney trip..."
"Oh, Sydney, you look so pretty in that dress," the nanny exclaimed. "Your Daddy will be so proud of his little princess."
"Daddy's coming home, Daddy's coming home," little Sydney sang as she pirouetted for the camera. "I love my Daddy. He bought me my special dress and now he's coming home."
"I think I hear him. Are you ready?"
Sydney nodded and danced around happily, unable to contain her excitement. The door opened and the camera focused on Jack. The camera dipped slightly.
"Oh my God, Mr. Bristow. Are you okay?" The nanny didn't bother to conceal her horror.
Jack nodded and walked in slowly. He was gaunt and his clothes hung on him. There were shadows under his eyes and a weariness of spirit that should not have adorned one so young.
"I've been ill," he explained. "That's why I wasn't able to get back sooner. I didn't want to worry you or Sydney." As the camera backed away, Jack reassured her. "I'm fine now and not contagious. Nothing to worry about."
He glanced down at Sydney, who had suddenly become quiet. The camera captured his anguished look, as he realized his daughter was afraid of him. Moving down on one knee, he put out his hands. "Sydney?" he whispered tentatively.
"Da...daddy?"
"Don't be afraid, sweetheart. It's only me and I could really use a hug."
"Daddy!" Sydney flung herself into her fathers arms and Jack held her tight, tears flowing freely down his cheeks. "Are you crying, Daddy?"
Sydney looked up at her father, wiping away her own tears. "Oh my God, Dad." Her voice shook. "What did they do to you?"
"You know?"
"About the solitary confinement? Yes. Sloane told me." Heart heavy, Sydney reached over and squeezed her father's hand. "I didn't know what they had done, though. I didn't remember that," she said, vaguely pointing at the screen. "You don't want to talk about it, do you?" she asked softly.
"I'd rather forget. It was one of the worst times of my life, but knowing you were home waiting for me got me through it."
Sydney got up and cut off the video equipment. Reaching down, she kissed her father on the forehead. "It's late. You're tired and I am, too." She smiled, trying to lighten the mood. "Disney trip tomorrow? I remember we had a good time."
"Yes, that was a good vacation." He got up and followed her up the stairs. "Good night, Sydney."
"Night, Dad."
He worried about Jane as he prepared for bed and resigned himself to another fretful night. Amazingly, he was asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow. Then the phone rang. Groggily, he looked at the alarm clock. Three am. Irina. He sighed and reached for the phone.
"Good morning, Sunshine."
"Irina..."
"Jack," she interrupted. "I haven't much time. Is your line clean?"
"Yes."
"Sloane has Jane. She ran in to me accidentally yesterday, shortly after I talked to you. I tried to protect her, but she gave my man the slip. I'm sorry. I'll do everything I can to keep him from harming her."
"Where is she?"
"I can't tell you that. He would know I gave you the information and then all this would be for nothing."
"Dammit, Irina."
"No, Jack, I can't. I would tell you if I could. I promise I will do my best to watch out for her."
Jack closed his eyes and prayed it would be enough.
"I haven't much time. They are watching me pretty closely. When he questioned me about my call yesterday, I told him I was checking in with my contacts. What did you watch today?"
"What?" He was startled at the sudden change of subject.
"You've been watching our old videos" Irina said with obvious patience.
Jack was silent.
"Jack?"
"We were watching the one where you won 'Teacher of the Year'."
"We?" Was that jealousy he heard in her voice?
"Sydney is watching them with me," Jack responded grudgingly.
"Oh. I'm glad."
"I guess I now know the real reason why you didn't want me to go." Jack tried to keep his voice cool, but the anger slipped through.
"Real reason?"
"I messed up a meeting with your handler. You were going to meet up with him that night, weren't you?"
Irina was quiet on the other end. "No, Jack. I told you the truth. And I was right," she retorted smugly. "Or don't you want to remember?"
"Who is the mole?" Jack said, changing the subject.
"Ah, you figured out my clue. I knew you would. I can't tell you. But I'm sure if you look close enough, you'll discover who it is for yourself. I have to go. I love you."
"I love .." Jack stopped as he realized what he had almost said. He caught the shadow of movement out of the corner of his eye and realized with a start that Sydney was standing at his bedroom door.
"That was Mom, wasn't it."
Jack felt a slight flush creep up his neck. How much had she heard?
"Yes. She was just checking to see if I had taken care of my lawn problem."
"Dad, I am not a child. What about the mole?" Sydney stood her ground. His heart lurched. She looked so much like her mother.
"That's what I'm trying to tell you. She told me gophers last night, but she meant moles."
"I wish you wouldn't do that."
"Do what?"
"You keep trying to protect me. I'm a big girl now and I can take care of myself." Sydney sighed in exasperation. "The mole?" She said pointedly.
Jack gave his own sigh and rubbed at his neck. "Your mother says someone close to you is feeding information to Sloane. She can't say who, but you need to be careful."
Sydney nodded. "Thank you. I will. Now, I guess we both need to get some rest." She came over to where Jack was sitting and slipped an arm around him. "I love you, Dad."
Jack felt a lump in his throat. He tried to speak, but the words wouldn't come. Sydney gave him a smile and a kiss on the cheek. "Sleep tight." And then she was gone.
"I love you, too," he whispered.
"Just so you know, I heard you," Sydney called to him from the hall. "You can't take it back."
Jack chuckled, marveling at the special gift that was his daughter.
He lay back against the pillows, and thought of Irina. She said she loved him. He had responded back without thinking. She had told him how much she loved him in Panama, too, and he desperately wanted to believe her. Thinking of Panama brought a familiar ache in his loins. He tried to concentrate on something else. What else had they talked about? The only thing he could think of was the 'Teacher of the Year' and that damn dance. The memory of that night washed over him and he fell asleep, silently cursing her for being right about that night.
