Irina slid into the comfortable interior of the limousine, only half listening as Sloane gave her his final instructions.

"Irina," Sloane sounded slightly exasperated.  "You aren't listening and I need you to follow my instructions exactly.  Any deviation could have major ramifications. Here, let me have your pen so I can write the code down."

She handed him the pen and frowned up at him.  "You shouldn't have taken her, Arvin.  That was a very serious mistake, with far greater ramifications than anything I might do."

Sloane's eyes narrowed as he gave her a considering look.  "Why?  Because she's the sister of your beloved husband."

Irina stared coolly back.  "No. You should know better than to mess with Jack's family, Arvin.  He will do anything to protect them and he doesn't play by the rules.  If you harm her ..."

"Oh, don't worry about Jane Bristow.  She's safe.  At least until you get back with your information.  Then we'll see." He handed back her pen along with the slip containing the computer activation code and slammed the car door shut, then signaled the driver to go.

Irina rested her head back against the leather upholstery and tried to relax the tension in her muscles.  Her conversation with Jane had been enlightening for both of them. 

The KGB had imprisoned her almost immediately upon her return to Russia, so she knew very little of what happened to Jack after her 'death'.  The records at the CIA indicated that two months after she left he had been assigned to a very long mission. The mystery of those six months had always bothered her. She had been tempted to access Jack's file when she helped them shut down the Echelon leak, but that would have been too easy for them to detect. 

Jane said it took three months to break him.  Jack had always been strong. It was one of the things she loved about him. It was amazing that he was so emotionally centered, considering some of the stories he'd told her about his youth. Jack had accepted his father's coldness far better than Jane.  He often joked that, in his father's eyes, the only thing he'd ever done right was marry her.

Jack's father. She had never understood how anyone could be so unloving toward his own children.    It puzzled her even more after she had given birth to Sydney.  From the moment she knew she was pregnant, she loved her daughter. Jack adored Sydney and never hesitated to show it. Father and daughter had been really close before her 'death'. It had been a shock when she first learned that Jack had distanced himself from his daughter. Knowing Jack would be there for Sydney had been one of the things that helped her through her own ordeal. 

Jack had once said she was his emotional center.  She hadn't fully understood what he meant until his first visit to her 'glass cage'.  Where had her warm and loving husband gone? 

"Thank God for Panama."

"I beg your pardon, Ma'am."  The chauffeur stared at her through the mirror. She frowned back at him.

"Nothing.  I was just thinking about how good it feels to be free." Sloane undoubtedly had the car bugged.  Fortunately her little outburst could be taken many ways.  She leaned her head against the window and thought of Jack.  The weeks before her 'escape', he had become more comfortable with her.  He had started to visit her daily, often inventing 'problems' for her to help him solve.  Sometimes he'd even bring dinner and they would share a table and light conversation about his day.  Once, he'd asked her about her imprisonment in Kashmir.  She hadn't told him everything, because she didn't think he would understand. 

Damn him, she thought.  Why hadn't he told her about his own imprisonment?  It was something they had in common.  But she knew why he hadn't said anything, why he never would have told her. He may have fooled many people with that cold, expressionless mask, but he could not fool her.  The man she had given her heart to was still underneath and she knew him better than anyone on the planet.

Laura heard the sound of the garage door opening and breathed a sigh of relief.  Jack was home at last. She climbed out of the bed and exchanged Jack's shirt for a slinky black negligee she'd purchased earlier that week.  He tried to slip quietly into their room, but spoiled it when he cursed after tripping over her briefcase. 

"It's okay, Jack. I'm awake."

"Dammit, Laura, are you trying to kill me.  What was that I tripped over?"

"The same thing you trip over every time you try to sneak in our room."

"I wasn't sneaking, I was ..."

"You were sneaking in, Jack, and I want to know why?" She turned on the light beside her bed and was shocked to see how pale he was. Before he left, he'd assured her the mission was routine, but she knew he was lying.  He made a beeline for the bathroom, but she reached him before he could close the door.  "Take off your shirt, Jack," she ordered.

"That's the third proposition I've received today," he smiled at her.  

She glared back and started unbuttoning his shirt. An examination of his chest quickly revealed the stitches on his shoulder and abdomen.  "Anywhere else?"

"My thigh. They're just scratches, honey. The bullets only grazed me."

"Jack, you need to stop trying to protect me." He pulled her close and gave her a soft kiss. Laura pulled back, but stayed within the circle of his arms.  "Oh, no you don't. You are not going to distract me so easily this time."

"Laura," Jack sighed.

"No excuses, Jack.  I'm a big girl.  I can handle the truth.  You've got stitches in three spots and bruises in several other locations.  You [b]told[/b] me that it was just a routine drop." She pulled at his shirt.

"I didn't want you to worry."

"Well, I worry anyway."  She leaned against his chest, listening to the rhythm of his heart.  "Jack, don't you understand that I need to know? I'm your wife, not your daughter.  I need you to let me in to the other part of your life, too."

"Laura..."

"No, Jack. I know you just want to protect me. You're always trying to protect those you love. Please promise me you'll tell me the next time you have a dangerous mission?"

He kissed her lightly on the forehead, then tucked a stray strand of hair behind her ear.  "Okay, I promise." He shook his head.  "Women.  I don't think I'll ever understand them."

"Jack that's such a sexist remark."

"No, sweetheart, it's the truth.  My simple mind cannot comprehend why you would want worry while I'm away."

"Perhaps I want to protect you?"

"I don't understand?"

"I could light a candle for you and do a lot of praying." She rubbed her hand gently across one of his wounds.

"Since when did you get religious?"

"Since you started going on dangerous missions." Her hands reached for his belt, then tugged his zipper down.  Jack kicked off his pants and lifted his wife in his arms, carrying her to their bed.

"I missed you," Jack murmured as he nuzzled her neck. "I'm the luckiest man in the world."

"Speaking of which, Jack, your father called today."

"Oh, what did he want?"

"He said he had to talk to me about something. That it was important.  I told him I'd stop on my way to work." 

"Do you want me to go with you?  I'm off tomorrow."

"No, I'm sure it's nothing.  Hmmm.  I'm feeling a little hot right now.  Maybe I should call in sick?"

Jack laughed. "It's your half day, right? No, your students need you. I'll take Sydney to the park and she can ride the carousel.  Speaking of hot ..." he lifted the hem of her nightgown, "were you planning on wearing this all night?"

"Sydney has school tomorrow. Jack, don't tear my nightgown. It's new."

"Hmm. Very pretty.  Help me get it off."

"Jack...."

"Mmmmft," he mumbled as he nuzzled her breast.

"Are you planning on wearing your socks all night?"

........................................................

She groaned at the sound of the alarm.  Reluctantly, she slipped out of Jack's arms and headed for the bathroom.  They had made love most of the night, which meant very little sleep. She glanced balefully at her husband's sleeping form.  At least one of them would be well rested.

Hot water poured from the taps, releasing the oil from the beads and she sighed as she settled into the scented water.  She relaxed, allowing three weeks of tension and worry to float away.  In the quiet stillness of her bath, she could pretend they were an ordinary couple, a college professor and an airplane parts salesman, leading dull and boring lives.  How she wished it were so.

"I'll get Sydney up and ready, Laura."  Jack leaned over the tub and gave her a quick kiss.  "Don't fall asleep and drown."

"If I do, I hope you feel guilty for keeping me up all night."

"Hmmm, I thought you were the one keeping me 'up' all night."

She laughed and splashed water at him.  "I hope you plan to put on some clothes before you go visiting your daughter's room. I'm not quite ready to explain the birds and bees to her yet."

"I have some socks somewhere."

"Jack!"

....................................................

"Honey, I'm not getting an answer at your parent's house."

"Maybe they are outside working in the yard.  Or maybe they're 'working' in the bedroom."

"Jack, that is NOT an image I want in my mind."

He grinned wickedly. "Well, they must have done it at least once ... "

"Done what, Daddy?" Sydney piped up from across the table.

"Er, ..."

"Yes, Jack, you were saying?"

"Sydney, my pet, it's almost time for you to leave for school.  Go brush your teeth and Daddy will take you to your teacher." He smiled as his daughter scampered off, question forgotten.

"That won't work forever, Jack. You won't always be able to avoid her questions."

"Yes, but for now it works. Still no answer?"

Laura sighed and hung up the phone. "No. Well, I'll stop by anyway.  If they aren't home I'll head in to work and give you a call from there.  You should be back by then."

"Unless Sydney's first grade teacher is really pretty." He leered at her. "I have this thing for teachers."

She laughed and gave him a kiss.  "I'm not worried.  After last night, I made sure you wouldn't have any energy left for anyone else."

"Mmmm. You've got that right."

....................................................................................

The drive to her in-laws was not too far out of her way and made a pleasant change from her normal routine.  Their home was in one of the older, more settled communities of Los Angeles, with tree lined streets and brick houses.  When she pulled in the drive, her instincts immediately warned her that something was wrong.  The porch light was on and the morning paper was still in the middle of the yard.  She walked to the front porch and lightly knocked on the door.  When they didn't answer, she turned the knob and was surprised to find it unlocked. As she opened the door, a strong gas odor nearly choked her. Covering her mouth and nose, she raced into the den where she knew they had a gas fireplace. 

The Bristows were sitting in their usual spots, he in the recliner, and she in her highbacked wing chair.  Both looked like they had simply fallen asleep, too tired to make it to their bedroom.  A note had fallen from her mother-in-law's hand and on to the floor. Laura grabbed it and stuffed it in her pocket, then quickly opened the windows.  Hands shaking, she picked up the phone and dialed 911. The fire department arrived quickly, but she knew it was too late, had been too late by many hours.

One of the firemen took her to the paramedics' truck and placed an oxygen mask on her as a precaution. "Ma'am?" she looked up to see a uniformed police officer pulling a chair up next to her. He smiled apologetically.  "I know this is not the best time, but I need to ask a few questions."  She nodded and gave him her name, address, and phone number. "Okay, Mrs. Bristow, why don't we start with you telling me in your own words exactly what happened."

She gave him a detailed verbatim, excluding the note in her pocket.  Whatever her mother-in-law had written, she was sure it hadn't been intended for the police. If it turned out to be important, she could always claim that in her shock she had forgotten about it.  

"Oh my God, my husband. His parents." Nervously, she ran her hand through her hair. 

"Would you like us to call him, ma'am?"

"What? Oh. No, I will.  I need to use the phone."

Jack handled everything once he got there and encouraged her to go to the school since it was too late to call in a substitute. She waited until the break between classes before pulling out the note. It was addressed to her.

"Dear Laura,

I hate that you will be the one to find us, but I had no other choice. He told me yesterday that he was going to talk to you. I couldn't let him. Jane will understand. I'm so sorry. I wanted to watch Sydney grow up.

He won't know what I did. The medication he has to take makes him drowsy. He looks so peaceful in his chair, the first time since ..."

She refolded the note and placed it back in her pocket. The horror of the morning washed back over her, making her nauseous.  She worried about Jack, having to handle everything alone, but knew he was right to get her away from the house. Two and half more hours and she could go home. Jack would need her when the police were finished.

Somehow, she made it through the day and found him waiting for her in the parking lot, Sydney in tow.  She went into his arms and sobbed quietly against his chest.  He held her tight, his own tears long spent. 

The police labeled their deaths accidental and she never showed the note to Jack. The message was too cryptic for her to decipher and she ended up giving it to Jane. When Jane read it, it was obvious that she did understand.

"No Laura, I'd rather not. If you don't know, then it's better that way. You haven't told anyone about this, have you?"

"No. I'd rather we keep this to ourselves, Jane. The police have ruled their deaths as accidental.  I think we should leave it that way." To her relief, Jane agreed.

"You don't mind if I keep the note, do you? If you keep it at home, Jack might discover it ..."

"Ma'am?" The chauffeur interrupted her thoughts.  "We'll be at the airport in ten minutes.  They've tightened up security at all the gates, even for private jets, so you will need whatever ID you are currently using ready for inspection."

The private jet pulled off smoothly from the runway.  Irina looked at her watch.  She had a two hour flight to work out a plan to infiltrate the research offices Sloane had specified as her target.  He had given her a file with the physical layout of the facility and basic information on the type of security used by the company.  It looked pretty straightforward, but she knew it was always better to be prepared with contingencies in advance.  Surprises were not fun in her line of work. 

She pulled out a pen from her pocket and the slip of paper Sloane had handed her just before leaving. Her hands lightly caressed the pen, her last gift from Jack.  His magic pen, he'd called it. 

She lay up against him, savoring the feel of his skin against hers.  There had been so many nights she had dreamed of him next to her, that she was almost afraid to believe they were together in the same bed, in the same room.  She rested her head against his chest and listened to the beat of his heart. 

"Jack, we have to talk."

"Mmmpfh," he murmured sleepily.

"No, I mean it."  She took a deep breath and decided that she would have to be the one to take the first giant steps toward trust.  "While I was shutting down the Echelon leak, I sent a message to Sark to contact Sloane. They are prepared to rescue me in the morning."

Jack sat up, dislodging her from his side. "So, that's how you did it. I wondered."  He shook his head.  "I knew I should have put Marshall on reviewing that data. Kendall said his team could handle it."

"Jack, I had to do it.  Sydney is in danger and this is the only way I know how to protect her."

"Why are you telling me this now, Irina?" Jack looked at her with hooded eyes.

"Because I need you to trust me.  To trust that what I plan on doing is because I love our daughter and want to keep her safe. I'm telling you this because I love you and I now believe you still love me."  Her heart pounded in her throat as she awaited his response. 

She swallowed her disappointment when he didn't respond. Instead, he slipped from the bed and pulled a pen out of his jacket pocket.  "Here, this is for you."

"What is it?"

He smiled at her. "A pen."

"Jack, you know what I mean!"  She laughed softly with him.

"It's a 'magic pen'.  Marshall designed it."

"Oh, what does this 'magic pen' do?"

"Well, it writes...," he teased.

"Jack!" She gave him a warning look.

"It blocks out microphone and camera transmissions for up to ten minutes at a time. You have to turn the barrel clockwise to start it and counter clockwise to place it back in normal mode." He demonstrated the process for her. "It will recharge, but you have to expose it to light for about 30 minutes. It also has a tiny transmitter that will send a pulse through any surrounding communications equipment.  All you have to do is click on the top.  The signal will go to a frequency I will have monitored 24 hours at headquarters. I'll be able to track the co-ordinates if it's on for 30 seconds or longer."

"That is such a sweet gift, Jack." She leaned over and kissed him on the cheek.

"Irina, be serious."

"I am serious." Much as she longed for them, there would be no verbal declarations of love from him that night.  She understood. He loved her, she didn't need the words to know that, but his trust, ...his trust would have to be earned. She looked down at the pen. It wasn't a lot, but it was a start.

He brushed her hair away from her face. "There's something else ...," he said, looking a little sheepish.

She looked at him and knew at once what he wanted to do.  "You want to insert another transmitter," she said matter-of-factly. "Sloane is not stupid.  He'll check to see if I've been marked."

"This one won't go into effect right away.  I have it on a two week delay."

She considered this, then nodded her acquiescence.  "Where are you going to place it?"

"It will have to go under one of your breasts. The mark will be less noticeable." He looked at her hesitantly.  "I'll be really careful, sweetheart."

She smiled at the unconscious endearment and raised her arms and clasped them above her head, causing her breasts to lift slightly.  Her reward was his sharp intake of breath.  "Sometime today, Jack."

"I'm coming."

"Well, I hope not yet." He laughed and gently massaged her breast.

"Irina, this might pinch a little."

She covered his hand with her own, pressing it hard against her skin.  He injected the transmitter, then bent down to kiss the insertion point.  Irina ran her hand through his hair, then lightly raised his chin, allowing her access to his lips. 

They stood locked together, his tongue caressing hers, until she pulled them down against the mattress, once more bound by their own dance of love.

She looked at the slip of paper with the codes Sloane had given her.  He had used her 'magic pen' to write the numbers out. She laughed softly to herself. How ironic that Sloane had been the one to send out the co-ordinates to his command post. If he discovered the transmission and traced the time it was sent, she had the perfect alibi.  Had it been activated long enough to give Jack an accurate location?  If the signal was good, she knew her husband would already be planning and organizing the mission. She did not want to be in Tuscany when he mounted Jane's rescue.  Sydney would be there to watch over her father. 

She placed the pen back in her pocket. Jack would find a way to let her know how long she needed to stay away.  Protecting his family had always come first with him.  She knew it would take more than one night to regain his trust, but their night together in Panama told her she was still his wife and that made her family.

...................................................................................................................................