The ring of the phone startled Sydney from her reverie. She automatically reached for her cell phone and gave a rueful smile as she realized the sound was coming from the more traditional phone located on a table by the window. 

"Hello?"

"Sydney? I was hoping you were still at the house."

"Dad? Shouldn't you be calling on me on my cell phone?"

"No. I don't want a record of this call.  My home phone has ... ah ... a few special features."

"The Superspy package?"

"Hunh?"

"A joke, Dad."

"Oh. Superspy package," he repeated. "Very clever."

"Okay, so it was lame.  Why don't you want anyone to know about this call?"

"I need you to get a message to your mother."

"Okay.  You want me to call her ..."

"No.  That's too dangerous.  I need you to access another site and send her an e-mail.  You know how to do that, right?"

"Some father's teach their children how to ride a bike, mine wants to know if I can hack into computers."

There was a heavy pause.  "Another joke, right?"

"Yes, Dad. Okay, I'll be serious. Tell me what I need to do."

"Don't write any of this down.  I want it completely untraceable."

"Sure, Dad. Go ahead."

"You'll have to get into the secondary system of my computer.  Do you see the icon labeled Monitor?"

"I clicked on it, but it needs a name and a password."

"The name is ARILY in all caps.  The password is your mother's name. There's a secondary password. It's your birth date ... all numbers.  I have to get back.  Send the e-mail to IrinaD@arily.com.  Tell her in the message you are the seller she spoke to the night before last. You want to arrange a meeting at 10 am on the agreed upon date.  Have the e-mail come from "Magic Pen Antiques".  Do you have all that?"

"Yes, Dad.  I'm a trained superspy, remember?"

"Sydney, this is really important. Your mother's life may depend on that information." He paused.  "Kendall has everything ready to go. We are still awaiting approval from Washington.  Right now, they are in a National Security meeting with the President and it's not expected to end for another 3 hours." 

"Okay, I'll leave here in about an hour."

"It shouldn't take you that long ..."

"No, Dad, I've got a few other things to do before I leave.  Don't worry.  I'll take care of it."

"I have to go. It should all be over soon, sweetheart."

"I hope so.  Bye, Dad."

Sydney turned back to the computer and punched in the password and hit enter.  She frowned at the screen.  "Incorrect password?" she muttered under her breath. She typed 'Irina Derevko' again and received the same response.  A stab of fear hit her.  Her father had said her mother's life depended on that message. She wanted to call him back and ask him if the password was case sensitive, but she knew she couldn't. 

Closing her eyes, she concentrated on what her father had said. He obviously felt he'd given her enough information. "The password is your mother's name." She looked over at her mother's photograph.  "Of course," she groaned.  Reaching once more for the keyboard, she typed in 'Laura Bristow'.  The screen flickered and she typed in the secondary password.  A new window popped up, listing, among other things, some very sophisticated computer hacking programs.  With the quick efficiency of routine, she completed the e-mail and cleared the computer. 

Task completed, she picked up the last disc and placed it in the drive. She watched as the camera focused in on her father. His chair was tilted in a reclining position and he appeared to be sleeping.  Agent Hamilton moved into view, as he placed a hypodermic needle on the table next to the chair.

"Agent Bristow, do you hear me?"

"Yes."

"Good.  Laura Bristow did not exist.  She was an illusion created by the KGB."

"Laura."

"No Agent Bristow.  There is no 'Laura'.  There never was.  She fooled you into believing she was real, but she only pretended to be Laura. She stole secrets from you, Agent Bristow. Those secrets endangered people's lives.  They hurt your friends and co-workers."

"I'm sorry."

"I know you are, Agent Bristow.  Now you have to do something to right the wrong.  It's your duty."

"My fault."

"Yes, it was your fault.  Soon you will be given an assignment.  You will have to go very deep undercover.  You can no longer be Agent Jack Bristow.  You are separate from him.  He no longer exists."  Hamilton jerked back at the sound of the door opening. 

"Sorry I'm late.  We had a marathon debriefing on another espionage case." Robert Staunton stepped into the camera's view.

"I'm just finishing up. The guards should be here any minute to take him back to his cell."  

"What's with the needle?" Staunton asked, nodding toward the table.  "I thought the order came down not to use anymore drugs on him?"

"Oh, it's just a sedative.  He told me he was having trouble sleeping."

Staunton looked at Jack asleep in the chair and nodded.  "Yes, I've been watching the tapes."  He touched Jack lightly on the shoulder.  "Word is that they are going to release him within the week.  The papers are on their way down from Washington." 

Hamilton nodded. "So, this is our final meeting.  I confess I've been impressed on how well he's lasted.  A lesser man would have committed suicide by now."

"I hear the guards now." He gave Jack a regretful look.  "We were friends once.  I doubt he will ever want to see me again.  I guess my transfer to Chicago is a blessing in disguise."

Hamilton raised his eyebrows.  "You are being transferred?  I hadn't heard."

"The orders came down yesterday. I heard you were leaving for Quantico?"

"Yes, in a few days.  I have one more assignment and then I'm out of here."

"Well, I better see to the equipment."

Sydney watched for as the guards wheeled her father from the room.  When the screen went blank she searched for the next file and clicked on it.  Her Aunt Jane was seated with a man she recognized as Jane's eventual husband.  There were red splotches on her face and she appeared to have been crying.

"Those bastards. I want to know what they did to my brother."

"Jane, everything is going to be okay.  I've got his release papers all signed and ready to go."

"That's not good enough.  I want an explanation, Glenn.  My brother is strong.  There is no way he would do something like this."

"Six months in solitary confinement can wear down even the strongest of men, Jane.  The fact that your brother lasted this long is actually quite impressive."

"Glenn. You don't know my brother.  Something caused him to do this. I know he was down my last few visits, but ..."

"Miss Bristow?"  Agent Staunton sat next to Jane.  "I'm sorry about your brother ..."

"Sorry?" Jane said incredulously. "My brother nearly dies and all you can say is sorry? How did he get those pills anyway?"

"He was having trouble sleeping. At the recommendation of one of my colleagues, the doctor prescribed him sleeping pills. He was watched very closely.  I've seen the tapes.  I don't know how he managed to fool the nurse." He stood.  "They'll be bringing Jack here any moment. The doctor has approved a short visit. He'll need another week for full recovery and then he'll be free to go."

Jane nodded.  A knock sounded and they all turned to the door.  "Well, I leave you now."

"Jack.  Oh my God." 

"Hello, Jane."

"Why, Jack?"

Jack grimaced.  "Well you never were one to beat around the bush."

"No and you were never one to give up so easily."

Jack stared silently at his feet.  When he looked up at his sister.  "I thought it was for the best."

"That doesn't make any sense.  The best?  For who, Jack?"

"For Sydney."

Jane stared at her brother dumbfounded.  "For Sydney?  You think your death would be good for Sydney?  What the hell kind of logic is that?"

"You weren't there after Laura died." Jane started to comment, but he put a hand out to silence his sister. "No Jane, let me finish. Every night she had nightmares. She wouldn't go near the pool because she was afraid she would die 'like mommy'.  I would have to pick her up at school because they couldn't get her to stop crying."  Jack moved restlessly in the wheelchair.  "I would rock her to sleep, but it still wouldn't matter.  She would wake up screaming, calling for her mother.  She needs a mother.  I tried to get you to take her to live with you, but I knew you wouldn't so long as I was alive."

"Jack, you are her father.  She needs you every bit as much as she needed Laura."

"What kind of father am I to her?" he responded bitterly. "She deserves better. She's better off without me."

Sydney stopped the video, stunned.  The final piece of the puzzle clicked into place.  Her father had a very strong protective streak.  She'd seen it throughout the interrogations and in his conversations with Jane.  For the past two years, she'd had to fight him tooth and nail over some of her more dangerous missions. 

All she had wanted in those years of loneliness was just to know her father cared.  Now she knew he had cared too much.

He had been afraid for her, knowing that his next mission might be his last. By distancing himself, he must have thought his death would cause her less anguish than her mothers. She ran her fingers through her hair. Her logical father.  His analysis had obviously not factored in the emotional needs of a little girl desperately in need of security.

She rubbed her hands against her temples, suddenly weary. Her father's attempted suicide was surprising.  That he'd contemplated it over a period of time was evident in his conversations with Jane, but contemplating was far from taking action. People often think about suicide when they are in difficult situations, but very few ever do anything. What had triggered the actual act?  She let her mind wander over the last interview with Hamilton.  He had obviously given her father a drug that would make him more open to suggestion. 

Mentally, she reviewed his dialogue with Staunton, wondering if the clue was in something they had said. Her instinct told her that the answer was in that final conversation. She played back the last part of the tape. There it was.  Hamilton had mentioned suicide.  One of the last things he said was how he couldn't believe her father hadn't already made an attempt.  Had that small comment been enough? Lack of sleep, combined with the drugs were definitely not conducive to clear thinking. Her father's medical records would undoubtedly provide more insight.

She got up from the chair and glanced at the clock.  Her investigation would have to wait for another day.  As if on cue, her cell phone rang.

"Hi Dad."

"It's time."

"Okay, I'll be there shortly. I'm all finished with what I had to do here."

"Good.  Bring a sweater.  We are flying cargo again and you know how cold it gets."

"Okay, I will.  And ... thanks, Dad."  She smiled as she clicked off the phone.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Jack braced himself as the military aircraft swiftly rolled down the runway.  The plane lifted off smoothly, then banked sharply to the left before settling into a level flight plan.  He let out a sigh of relief, glad that the waiting was finally over.

Leaning back against one of the large grey containers lining the cargo hold area, he watched as his daughter joked with Marshall over his flight safety gear.  Occasionally, she would glance his way and he sensed from her look that she wanted to 'talk'. It was the same look Laura had given him when something was on her mind.  He closed his eyes as weariness from the days stress took its toll.  The hum of the planes engines lulled softly at his ears and he felt himself drifting into sleep.

"Good morning, sunshine." Jack groaned at his wife's cheerful voice waking him from his sleep.

"What time is it, Laura?" he said without opening his eyes. 

"Three"

"Please tell me you mean three in the afternoon?"

"No, lover. It's our time."  She tickled his nose.  "Wake up, Jack.  I need to talk to you."

He opened an eye and groaned again. "Can't we talk a little later?" he grumbled.

Her eyes narrowed and he knew he was in trouble.  "Jonathan Bristow..."

He sat up and pulled her to him on the bed. "Okay, honey. I'm listening."

"This is important Jack." She sat on the edge of the bed and traced a finger along the floral pattern of their bedspread.

"Laura?" he prompted. "What's wrong?"

She took a deep breath.  "I'm pregnant." Her hand tightened on his when he didn't respond. "Jack, please say something."

"How...?  ... are you sure?"


She nodded.  "I've taken the test six times. My appointment with the doctor is on Tuesday, but I know I'm just over five weeks.  You told me you were going to be gone for four months on your last mission, so I stopped taking the pill..."

"Then I surprised you by getting a free weekend..." He placed a hand on her abdomen. "Are you okay with this, Laura? When we got married, you told me you didn't want children."

"Jack, I'm not going to lie to you. When I realized I was pregnant, I wasn't sure what to do. I don't even know if I'd make a very good mother. But this is our child, made with our love..." She took a deep breath as her eyes sought out his.  "What about you, Jack?  You didn't seem that interested in having children, either."

He reached his arm around her and pulled her close. "You know what my job is like, Laura.  Having a child would mean the majority of the work would fall on you. I thought it should be your decision."  He pulled her on top of him and kissed her.  "I think you will make a wonderful mother."

"Jack, I'm going to..." She rolled off of him and raced to the bathroom. He followed her, gently massaging her back as she leaned over the stool. "I hope this doesn't last long or I might change my mind about having this baby."

He laughed and helped her up from the floor. She quickly made her way to the sink to rinse out her mouth.  "I can't believe we're having a baby! My mother will be thrilled." He caught he eyes in the mirror and smiled. "She keeps asking me when we are going to make her a grandmother."

"Yes, me too." She touched his face, running her finger lightly across his jaw. "You really are happy about this?"

"It's the second most wonderful thing that's ever happened to me."

"Oh, and what is the first?"

"You."

She pulled his head down to hers and kissed him. "Come to bed, Jack."

"Dad, wake up."

Jack jerked awake.

"Are you okay?  You were dreaming."

"Sydney." He felt his erection against his pants and hoped his daughter hadn't notice.  "Are we there?"

"No, a couple more hours yet."  She gave him that look again.  "Dad, we have to talk."

"Now? Can't it wait?" He shifted slightly, pulling his attaché case into his lap. "I've got ... work to do."

"I'll wait only if you promise me that you will set aside a whole day just for me when we get back."

He swallowed. "I promise. I guess I owe you that."

She looked at him a moment longer, then handed him a white envelope.  "You dropped this after you fell asleep." She frowned at him.  "You haven't opened it yet. I know it's from Mom. It could be important." 

"What makes you think it's from your mother?"

"I don't know what those letters mean, Dad, but I know they are important to you and Mom." 

He took in a sharp breath.  "How do you...?"

"I just do, Dad. You were dreaming about her weren't you?"

"Sydney..."

"Oh, don't worry, I'm the only who knows."  She looked at the envelope in his hand. "So, are you going to read it or not?"

"Very well. I'll read it now."  He paused.  "Privately."

She grinned. "It's a love note, isn't it?"

"Don't you need to see Agent Vaughn or something?"

Laughing, she made her way down to the other end of the cargo hold. He saw Vaughn and Marshall's puzzled looks, but chose to ignore them. Sydney looked back at him and then pointedly at the envelope.  Grimacing, he tore open the flap and pulled out the white paper.

Jack,

Tonight has been my happiest in twenty years.  So many times I've dreamed you were in my arms only to wake and find it an illusion. Even now, watching you sleep, I'm afraid I'm still dreaming. Did you feel my hands touching you? How good your skin feels against mine. Did you hear my whispered words of love? I heard the quickening of your breath. 

"When I'm gone from your side, I know you'll start doubting, wondering if I tricked you again. Please trust me to do the right thing for our daughter. When it's over I'll find you, Jack, and then we'll talk. What we shared tonight wasn't just passion, but love. Never doubt that.  ARILY

Irina.

Jack carefully folded the paper and placed it back in the envelope. She knew him well.  He had started doubting her. From the moment Sloane pulled the switch on the vehicles, he wondered if was a pawn in a far more elaborate plan. He had struggled with the decision for hours before getting Sydney to send that e-mail. He could just as easily be alerting Sloane of their arrival, giving him time to escape.  In the end, he knew he would have to send her the warning.  She was his wife and he still loved her. 

............................................................................................

Irina quickly made her way out of the building into the small open square.  A group of American tourists walked past her and she tagged along, hoping it would prove sufficient cover for her exit.  The guide stopped by the courtyard gate and began his instructions for the next phase of the tour.  She sidled her way closer to the street, eyes carefully scanning for any sign of discovery. Just as she moved to walk out, a strong hand grabbed her by the arm.  She turned in surprise, her body quickly reacting to the assault. Her attacker dropped his arm quickly, eyes registering shock.

"Oh, I'm sorry.  I thought you were my wife." He frowned at her. "We got separated in the church. You're very similar from the back."  He looked back toward the church entryway and his face brightened. "There she is." He started to wave frantically.  "Yoo hoo, honey, I'm over here."

Irina noted the two burly men accompanying the woman out.  She did bear a striking similarity to herself.  The husband continued to call to his wife, drawing attention his way.  Taking advantage of the distraction, she slipped away from the group and walked deliberately down the street. After several direction changes, Irina was confident that she wasn't being followed.

Another hour of wandering placed her in a familiar part of the city and she made her way to the nearest internet cafe.  The room was packed, mainly with travelers trying to keep touch with family and friends.  She requested a unit that offered privacy and rewarded the attendant for his helpfulness.  Her first order of business was to e-mail Sloane the information, with a duplicate copy forwarded to Jack. 

She punched in the codes to access the account she used for Sloane.  As much as she wanted to delay sending the information, she knew he would have had the building watched and already knew she'd been successful in her mission.  Once the download was complete, she switched to her ARILY account.  The mailbox icon popped on the screen announcing an e-mail.  She stared at the box, her heart in her throat.  Jack.  The message had to be from him.  He was the only one who knew her that e-mail address. 

She swallowed and took a steadying breath.  The email was short and to the point, but it told her everything she needed to know.  Not only had he given her a warning, but he'd also given her the excuse she needed to stall her return to Tuscany.  She felt her eyes glisten with tears and bit at her lip to hold them at bay. A stray tear slipped down her cheek and she brushed it away.  She laughed inwardly at her sentimentality and wondered if Jack knew that his simple e-mail was more precious to her than all the gold and silver in the world.

She switched back to the other account and notified Sloane that she had a lead on a possible Rambaldi artifact.  Business completed, she accessed another website and had it start the necessary computer cleansing on her unit.  Satisfied that no trace of her activities was retrievable, she closed out her session and headed back to the hotel.

...................................

The bright red numerals on the bedside clock blinked and advanced to the next minute.  One fourteen. Irina switched on the light and rolled out of the bed. Picking up the remote for the television set, she curled up on the couch and clicked on the power button. She scrolled through the stations until she found a BBC station carrying the World Chess Championships. A certain guarantee to put her to sleep, she thought. 

Thirty minutes of hushed chatter left her no sleepier than before.  Snapping the off button, she wandered restlessly around the suite.  She looked at the clock again.  Two o'clock.  Reaching for the phone, she called room service. 

By two-thirty and half a bottle of vodka later, she was well and truly drunk.  She was also still wide-awake.

"Damn it, Jack, it's all your fault," she muttered under her breath. Sleep had always eluded her whenever the CIA sent Jack out on a mission. Now he was on his way to Tuscany and she was not.  Her eyes focused on a black and white photograph mounted on the wall across from the couch.  The photographer had captured a young couple dancing in a courtyard.  Irina smiled.  She and Jack had often danced like that.  A memory tugged at her as her eyes focused once more on the photograph.

"Mrs. Bristow?" The secretary for the Arts and Literature department stopped her as she headed back to her office.  "You're husband called while you were in class."  Laura raised an eyebrow and the girl quickly added, "he wants you to call him back at work." 

She nodded and made her way back to her office. 

"Jack? Is anything wrong?" she asked, trying to control her anxiety.  He rarely called her from work.

"Laura?  Hey, honey.  Don't fix dinner tonight.  I have reservations at your favorite French restaurant."

"Chez Paul's!" she asked dumbfounded.  "How did you do that?  You have to know someone to get last minute reservations there."

"Chez Paul's? Oh. I meant Chez Mac's!" he teased.

"Jack," she warned. 

"Yes, it's Chez Paul's. I pulled a few strings. So, are you up for dinner and dancing?"

She sighed happily into the phone.  "It sounds wonderful.  When will you be home?"

"Six.  Our reservation is for eight."

................................................................................

"I love you, Jack," she said, resting her head against his chest.  They swayed together as the band played a soft waltz.

"You're only saying that because of dinner."

She laughed softly and pulled him closer.  "I'm only saying that because I know whatever it is you are going to tell me is going to make me angry. I wanted you to know how much I love you before I kill you."

He ran his hand through her hair, brushing it way from her face.  "How did you know?"

"I'm your wife, Jack. I know you.  'Mr. Spontaneous' you are not."  He started to protest and she stopped him.  "You are a planner, a thinker.  I love those qualities about you and I don't want you to change.  Now, tell me what's going on."

"I have to go out on another assignment."

"When?"

"Tomorrow morning. Early."

She pulled away from him.  "You've only been back a week from your last assignment," she hissed at him.  She walked back to their table and picked up her purse.  He reached for her hand, but she knocked it away. "You've been gone for three months, Jack, and now you're leaving again. It's not right."

"I know, sweetheart. I tried to get out of going, but right now I'm the only one who can handle this assignment."

"Don't give me that Jonathan Bristow.  Why can't they send Arvin Sloane? Hasn't he been working on this project with you?"

"He was supposed to go, but Emily had a miscarriage this morning."

"Oh, God." She ran an agitated hand through her hair. "That's awful."  She sighed and took a deep breath. "How long will you be gone this time?"

"Four months."

"Four months!  That's too long."  She turned away from him. "I hate it when you are away, Jack.  I can't sleep knowing you are out there, your life in danger and there's nothing I can do to protect you."

"Laura." His voice was gentle, understanding. She turned back to him. He was holding his hand out to her. She took it and allowed him to pull her into a tight embrace. "I don't like being away from you either."

"Let's go home, Jack."

They rode back in quiet companionship.  Laura rested her head against his shoulder as he drove.  He slipped his arm behind her and pulled her close.  "Thank God for power steering," Jack said as her maneuvered the car with one hand.

She smiled up at him.  "Hmmm.  Power steering. How interesting. Perhaps you could show me how it works?"  She reached a hand down and lightly brushed along his crotch. At his sharp intake of breath, she moved her hand further down, allowing her fingers to gently press along his inner thigh and then between his legs.

"Laura," he choked out. "Oh God.  Don't.  I'm driving, for pete's sake." 

She pulled at his zipper and slipped her hand through the fly of his boxers.  Her fingers tickled the end of his penis and reveled in his groaned response.  "I'm just checking out the 'power steering'. You're the one who brought the subject up."

"Five minutes, Laura.  We're only five minutes away.  You're torturing me."

"Good. I want to make sure you know exactly what you are missing while you are off playing spy games."

He pulled the car in the garage, shifting the gear to park with a little more force than was necessary.  He turned off the engine, and pulled her to him, his mouth eagerly searching out hers. Her hand continued to caress him and he moaned against her lips.  He pulled her hand away from him and continued his kiss.  "We need to go upstairs.  Now!" he demanded urgently.

They pulled at each other's clothes, undressing as they made their way up the stairs.  Falling on the bed, they came together wildly, each possessing the other until, finally sated, they lay exhausted in each other's arms.

"Now that's what I call 'power steering'," Laura whispered into his ear. He laughed and tightened his hold on her.

"I love you, Laura Bristow."

........................................................

The alarm buzzed and, sleepily, she murmured for Jack to hit the snooze button. The alarm continued to beep, so she put her hand out to nudge him.  She jerked awake when her hand couldn't find him.  Then she remembered.

Her hand slapped at the alarm, silencing it.  Making her way to the bathroom, she allowed the memory of their early morning goodbye's to wash over her.  She held onto him until the very last moment.  He gave her a final kiss and an 'I love you', and then he was gone. 

She turned on the faucet for the tub and dumped a handful of crystals into the bath.  Turning back to the sink, she filled a Dixie cup with water and took one of the birth control pills from the blister pack.  There were two weeks worth of pills left before she'd have to get a refill. 

She rubbed her hands against her temple and sighed heavily.  He would be gone for four more months. Four months of sleepless nights. The last three months had been difficult enough as it was. She looked at the pill in her hand and grimaced. She hated taking them, but considered them a necessary evil in her life.  Four months. She looked at the pill again. There wasn't any need for birth control while Jack was away. Making a decision, she placed the pill back in the pack.

Irina smiled at the memory.  Jack had surprised her almost three months later. He told her they had to wait on some results from their tests and he had begged the director to let him go home.  Apparently, Jack had effectively communicated his desperation and was granted the leave.  In her happiness at having him home, even if it was only for a short time, she forgot about the pills.  She had planned to resume taking them after her next period.  Three weeks later, she went out and bought her first pregnancy test. 

Once she'd gotten over her initial shock, she knew she would keep the baby. Her biggest hurdle had been the KGB, but Russian tradition was on her side and they didn't press her to abort the child.  Jack had been ecstatic and overprotective. Her mother-in-law bought out every baby department within fifty miles of their home. 

She looked at the clock.  Three forty-five. With a sigh, she crawled back into bed.  Her husband and her baby were on their way to confront a very dangerous man.  Jack had sent her the warning so she would stay away. To keep her safe. The place would be swarming with US and Italian agents.  Did she dare go back?