With You I'm Born Again

"Frasier. Over here," she called out and waved.

Frasier went over and sat down beside by his sister-in-law on the park bench.

"Thanks for meeting me."

"Anytime Daph. I'll always be here for you. You should know that. Though I must say, I was a bit surprised you asked me, instead of dad, to meet you here at the dog park, of all places."

"Frasier…." she started.

"I know what you're going to say, and no, I don't have a story of Niles for your memory book yet. I'm sorry, I just want to make sure I pick one that's exemplifies the man, the brother, he was."

"Frasier, that's not why I asked you here. I could have asked you that over the phone or at Café Nervosa."

There was something special about this place. Whatever Daphne wanted to discuss with him, she was obviously struggling with it. He mentally surmised.

Frasier put his arm around her shoulder. "It's okay Daphne. Take your time, I'm not going anywhere."

"There is something I've been struggling with since Niles di--..."

It had been almost six months and she still couldn't bring herself to say it.

Niles ran by yet another version on how to broach the subject with Daphne to his faithful companion that was sharing the park bench with him.

"How did you like that one?" he asked for a second opinion.

His companion just looked up at him and stared.

"I'll take that as….oh! Never mind, here she comes."

Daphne sat next to Niles and Eddie on the bench. Niles took a deep breath and decided it was now or never. If he thought about it anymore he would lose his courage.

"Daphne….." he began.

"I've been musing about you and me, and I have a thought. In every healthy relationship, I may ask for an occasional - very occasional - irrational demand."

She wasn't quite sure where this conversation came from or where it was going.

"What do you mean?"

Searching for the right words, he further explained, "a thing we insist the other do or not do, and the other one has to do it or not do it, without question."

"Is that fair?" she questioned.

"It is. Because we each get one, and only one, for our whole relationship." He justified.

She sensed there was something deeper to his request. Most likely it concerned his insecurity about not being good enough for her and that she would leave him. To save Niles' faltering self-confidence she would play along with him and would "agree" to his demand.

"Well, if it's important to you," she said sincerely.

"Then it's agreed?" He eagerly pounced, afraid if she had even a second more to think about it, she would back out.

"Agreed."

A few short seconds passed before he proclaimed, "Good...oh, I've got mine!"

Okay, her guess that it was his insecurity that was at the root of all this was becoming more apparent. Again, to help him save face, she played along.

"Already?" she questioned, sounding surprised.

"Yes. Uh, I want you to promise never to come to this dog park again." He demanded.

My poor Niles, she thought, the silly sod was much more insecure than she thought.

"What?" she asked, as if confused at the demand placed upon her.

"I know it sounds extreme, even unreasonable - but that's the beauty of the irrational demand."

She thought long and hard before asking her next question. Should she just confront Niles about his insecurity? Using this quote, unquote, irrational demand to mask his insecurities wasn't doing him any good. He wasn't dealing with his real feelings. Instead he was in denial, something in which he excelled at. This elaborate act, all because he was so afraid of losing her when he shouldn't be. She would never leave him. She loved him more than anyone and anything.

She decided to confront indirectly, but not attack his "demand".

"Is this about Jim?"

Not too surprising, Niles answered in his typical denial like state. "The, uh, demand cannot be scrutinized. It is, by definition, irrational."

"And are you sure this is how you want to use your only one?"

Niles looked over at Jim before answering, reaffirming everything Daphne had thought in regards to Niles' insecurity issues.

"Absolutely. I've thought this through, a lot. Irrationally, of course." He continued on with his game.

Out of her love for him, she again played along and agreed. "OK, if you're sure. I promise never to come to this dog park again."

After wishing Jim and Tank a fond bon voyage, she couldn't help but tease,

"I wonder how I'll use my irrational demand... oh, what's my rush? I've got years to think it over."

By the time she had finished telling Frasier the story she was a mess. She was crying uncontrollably on Frasier's shoulder.

"Daphne? Am I to assume by these tears, that you never collected?"

She shook her head and sniffed. "But I have to tell you, there have been so many times since Niles di-…" Again, she couldn't say it, but continued, "that I wished I had…"

More softly, in barely a whisper, she confessed.

"You know Frasier, a couple of days before he left for Chicago, I had a vision."

"What sort of a vision?"

"I was telling him that I was cashing in on my irrational demand."

"Which was?" he carefully asked. Though he was pretty sure what her answer would be, she needed to let it out, all of it, no matter how painful.

She took a deep breath before answering and then finally,

"I-I asked him not to go to Chicago for the seminar. Oh Frasier…" she wailed and berated herself, "why didn't I follow me vision?" is all she could ask over and over as she wept.

Frasier again pulled her into a hug.

"Listen to me Daph. What happened to Niles was an accident. A terrible, horrible accident, but it wasn't your fault. It was that drunk driver who went through the red light. Alright?" He tried to reassure and comfort her.

"Come on Daph…" Frasier coached, as he wiped the perspiration from Daphne's forehead. "One more push."

Daphne let out a final, exhausted grunt and pushed with all her might.

The wails of a newborn filled the delivery room.

"Congratulations, Daphne…" Dr. Stewart smiled, "you have a baby girl."

Frasier gave her a kiss on her forehead. "Way to go Daph."

"Can I hold her?"

A nurse came over and Daphne stretched out her arms and enveloped her newborn.

Both she and Frasier were instantly taken aback. They both looked at each other, knowing exactly what the other was thinking.

At the same time, and remembering Niles fondly as they said it, "spooky".

"Is there something wrong?" the nurse asked.

"No, everything is fine. My sister-in-law and I are just stunned…she's a carbon copy of my little brother Niles…"

"That's your Daddy he's talking about," she told her minutes old daughter.

"Of course, she does have my receding hairline," he joked.

"And that would be your Uncle Frasier," she introduced.

She studied the new life she had brought into the world and was stunned. She was, like Frasier said, a 'carbon copy', a female Niles.

She shared most, if not all, her Father's most striking features, including his deep blue eyes that Daphne loved to stare into and could always find solace in. She even had his cleft chin.

She played with one of her daughters' fingers. "You have long fingers just like your Daddy. And someday, you'll play the piano just as wonderfully as your Daddy did. And the first song you'll ever play will be 'Daphne's Song.'"

She couldn't help but notice Frasier had gotten overly quiet and contemplative, something Niles did much more often then Frasier.

"Frasier? Is something wrong?"

"On the contrary, I have my Niles story for that journal you're writing."

Frasier sat down beside Daphne and his niece and started to share his story.

"Frasier, I want you to know that all of my life I've dreamed of one thing, the day I could go into a library and go to the card catalogue and see my name under "mental illness". The day I could finally feel what you feel; that I'm somebody, not just one more dusty little psychiatrist…"

Daphne was shocked at what she heard and interrupted. "Niles and his insecurity issues rear its ugly head once again."

"What do you mean?" Frasier was puzzled and was afraid that she was taking his story of Niles totally out of context.

"Once we had gotten married, I thought he put all those bloody issues to rest once and for all. I was mistaken. I mistakenly thought my love, our love that we shared, was enough for him and could erase all the insecurities away and would have been enough for him. But no, he still wanted more, celebrity. Apparently, I didn't know him as well as I had thought." She confessed and sounded hurt and disappointed.

"Daphne, you didn't let me finish my story. First off, let me say that when Niles confessed that to me, it was when he was still unhappily married to Maris. Do you recall that time when Niles, Dad and I assisted in delivering that cab driver's baby several years back?"

"Was that when Niles experimented the trials and tribulations of fatherhood by carrying that sack of flour around as his child?"

"Yes. He thought he wasn't ready. But later that same evening when he drove me to the hospital, I caught him looking longingly into the nursery window. It was then that the sad realization hit him. Maris would never have his children, something he wanted more than anything else.

When I called him on it, he of course denied it, dismissing it with the protest that 'he wasn't father material.' But I knew it was killing him inside. It took him a very long time to accept that realization---that he would never be a father."

"Oh Frasier, I never knew. Niles never shared any of this with me."

"It was especially painful for him every time he saw Dad and I together, or me and Frederick. It was another reminder of a bond that Dad and I shared that he couldn't share with us. It was very painful for him, and he struggled with it for some time."

"Anyway, once he resigned himself to it, he refocused and redirected all his energies into being remembered the only other way he knew how-which was professionally. So, if he couldn't be remembered personally, he could at least be remembered professionally."

Daphne felt a tear fall down her cheek.

"But tonight Daph, when you gave birth to his, to Dr. Niles Cranes' daughter, he was, in a way, born again and will now live on through her. So, Daphne, Niles got his wish after all, and he received it from the person he loved more than anyone."

"Thank you Frasier," she thanked as she continued to cry.

Their daughter's cries woke her and she went into the nursery and picked up their daughter. "Shh…mummy's here now." She cooed and rubbed her back. She went over to sit in the rocking chair and started to rock their daughter back to sleep.

As she rocked, she started to reflect on Frasier's story he shared on the night the baby was born. Frasier had commented to her that by giving birth to her and Niles' child, Daphne had made all Niles' dreams and wishes come true.

She smiled. It was the very least she could do. After all, he had always made sure all hers came true.

"I want to marry you!" she told him.

"I want to marry you!" he agreed.

"No, I want to marry you NOW!" she stressed.

"As in…. now?" he asked, taken aback.

"Yes!"

"Why?" He questioned her. The silly sod almost sounded suspicious.

"Why?" She echoed and then explained. "Because you'd do anything, even put up with my insane family, to make me happy. Because you'd travel halfway around the world to make my dreams come true, even the impossible ones. And because I can't spend one more minute without being your wife, Niles Crane. Because I adore you."

"But I thought you always wanted a big wedding." He countered.

But her mind was made up.

"Do you want to make my dreams come true? This is my dream."

Niles looked deeply into her eyes and then took her hand. He grabbed his overcoat, and he led her out the front door closing it behind them.

Their daughter was almost asleep by the time Daphne had finished her story. Daphne reached over and gathered Niles' journal in her hand. She opened it up to the last entry Niles had ever written. He wrote it the night before his flight to Chicago. She wasn't strong enough to read it before, but tonight, she finally was, and read his very last words aloud.

A chill ran down her spine. For his last words were almost prophetic.

"Life is always made up of wonderful things, and then you lose them. And part of what makes them wonderful is that they do go away. If you had them forever you wouldn't appreciate them as much."

Quote from: David Hyde Pierce