Friendship and Beyond 13/?
Rated: R contains mentions of rape and torture, although not actual scenes. Possible HP/SS in later chapters, also HG/RW.
Authors Notes: I do not own Harry Potter or it's characters, that would be JKR. Subject matter not for children, although nothing too graphic, but be careful when reading just to be on the safe side.
Only the Strong
Harry's first day of classes where difficult, much like the four days that followed. He went to classes barely paying attention, doing piss poor work and nearly falling asleep. By the end of the week he had accumulated six detentions, blew up a cauldron in Potions and was nearly dead on his feet. The nights followed much the same pattern as the first. He was plagued by nightmares whenever he went to sleep, so after the first two nights he simply stopped trying. Instead he would take his invisibility cloak and sneak into the Restricted Section. Once there he would research curses and hexes that could be used to take the Dark Lord down once and for all. So far he had three parchments full. He would go to the library as soon as everyone was asleep and only come back right before breakfast.
Needless to say his friends and teachers were getting concerned about him. Besides the lack of sleep he would stay to himself mostly, with the exception of Ron and Hermione, who were constantly by his side. They were the only ones he let get close to him and only when he was aware of it. He would still jump at the slightest provocation although he was still doing a fair job of acting like everything was fine. The only people truly aware that anything was wrong were the people who knew him well, and Snape incidentally.
With all the watching he had done over the years trying to get the brat expelled he noticed the differences in his behavior straight away. Since Potter's return Snape had been keeping a close eye on the boy and his friends.
Another strange happening during the week was between Ron and Hermione. It seems that during the week that they had been back they decided to stop pussyfooting around. It was actually Hermione who asked Ron out, but the result was the same. They did decide that they would wait to tell their friend until he was a little less strained. So it was a very worried couple that went in search of Harry that Saturday night after curfew when he didn't come back to the Common Room.
They had checked all over the school before they decided to check the library on the off chance that he would be there. They found Harry surrounded by thick tomes writing single-mindedly on a piece of parchment. He was so immersed in what he was doing that he didn't notice them enter, until the door closed behind them with a squeak. This caused Harry to startle and nearly fall out of his chair. When he regained his composure he had his wand pointed at the intruders before they could react.
"Ron! Hermione! What in the bloody hell are you two doing here?" Harry asked in shock as he quickly put his wand away.
"We were worried about you, mate." Ron answered as he and Hermione sat down at Harry's table. "When you didn't come back to the Dorms we left to find you."
While Ron was talking, Hermione was checking over the books and parchments all over the table.
"Well thank, but I'm fine." Harry said convincingly.
"What is all this, Harry?" Hermione asked curiously. "Some of these hexes could be classified as Dark magic."
"Just research, Herm. Don't worry about it."
"No really. Is this what you've been doing the last couple of nights?" Ron asked.
"What?"
"You've been gone most nights." Hermione added. "Did you think we wouldn't notice? I mean look at you, it's obvious that you haven't been sleeping."
"I've just been trying to find a way to destroy Voldemort." Harry explained, ignoring the comment about his sleeping habits.
"Because you can't sleep, or you can't sleep because you're doing this?" Hermione asked, gesturing
[Damn Hermione and her intelligence.]
"Look it's nothing." Harry answered.
"Who do you think you're talking to?" Ron growled. "Come on it's us."
"Fine! Every time I actually get to sleep I have nightmares. At least this way I am doing something productive with my nights." Harry answered reluctantly.
"Harry, mate, you have got to talk to someone."
"I'm fine!"
"You're not bloody fine!" Ron screamed back. "You don't even see it. You're too busy being the good little soldier to notice how this has changed you."
"I'm doing the best that I can. Just what do you want from me?" Harry snarled getting up from the table and haphazardly throwing his supplies into his bag.
"You need to talk to someone about what happened." Hermione interjected loudly.
"Like who? Have you forgotten I'm 'the boy who lived,' anyone I talk to will publish it in the bloody papers." Harry growled.
"Look, obviously you don't want to talk to us about it, but you obviously need to talk to someone." Hermione continued, yelling over Harry.
"Gee, why wouldn't I talk to you besides the fact that you're so involved with each other that it took you a week to come talk to me! Let's see, YOU WERE THERE! YOU ALREADY KNOW WHAT HAPPENED!" Harry yelled at the top of his lungs.
"Harry we're sorry we didn't tell you, we just wanted to wait until-"
"I wasn't so mentally unstable?" Harry questioned, interrupting Ron mid-sentence.
"No, Harry." Hermione exclaimed in shock.
"And you wonder why I don't share my inner most thoughts with you guys?" Harry questioned incredulously. He quickly made his way out of the library, only to be followed out by his friends.
"If you won't talk to us, talk to someone." Hermione called after his retreating back.
"Look guys, really you two are the only one's I trust, but you were there. You two are just bloody fine, so I don't want to bring you down again. I knew what could happen when I went to rescue you, now I just have to live with the consequences." Harry explained in a halfway calm voice.
"What do you mean you knew what would happen?" Hermione questioned in a stricken voice.
"Just what I said. I had a vision remember." Harry explained anxiously before walking further away.
It took the other two a second to come to grasp that but when they did they barreled after their retreating friend.
"You came knowing what would happen with Vol- Voldemort?" Ron asked urgently, stumbling over the Dark Lord's name.
"Yes." Harry answered. "I couldn't very well leave you to him to be tortured and killed now could I?"
"My god, Harry!"
"Look it's no big deal." Harry interjected before Hermione could get anymore upset. "This is why I didn't want to tell you. You've been through enough without me making you feel guilty."
"But Harry, we want to be there for you now." Ron answered, putting an arm around Hermione's shaking shoulders. As Harry looked at his two friends, he realized he couldn't burden them further with his troubles, especially not when they were just finding happiness.
"And you are Ron. You know that, always, the both of you." Harry answered. "But talking about it to you two won't help. I mean think about it, you guys were there. I don't really have to or want to bring it up again."
"If you won't talk to us how about Snape?" Hermione suggested cautiously.
"Are you out of your bloody mind?" Both Harry and Ron screamed at the same time, looking incredulously at Hermione.
"Just listen for a second you two." Hermione said sternly. "Snape is our head of house now. Also, he was in Voldemort's inner-circle so he probably wouldn't be shocked by anything you told him. Besides the fact that the man is a Potion Master. He could at least brew you some Draught of the Living Dead to help you sleep."
"The man hates my guts, Hermione. He'd probably get a kick out of seeing 'the boy who lived' brought so low." Snarled Harry in disbelief.
"Harry you're obviously going through something we can't understand. If you don't want to talk to us about it than I don't know what you expect us to do." Hermione answered angrily. "But I for one am not going to watch you crash and burn, you'll only bring down Ron and I as well."
"I'm so sorry to be a bloody burden to you, Hermione." Snarled Harry viciously. "I didn't realize me getting raped, was such a hardship for you two to deal with. You want me to go see Snape fine, I bloody will."
"Harry, I didn't mean it that way!" Hermione called after Harry. She rushed to his side and practically threw herself into his arms. "I just want you to get better, whatever the means."
"Hermione-"
"No! I'm sorry. I didn't mean to act like we're burdened by you." Hermione continued hysterically, talking right over Harry's protests. "I love you, we both do, but you won't let us help you. Snape could. Please don't be mad, I can't watch you so listless and do nothing. Whether you want to admit it or not, you need help Harry. If you hadn't noticed, you are our best friends, we'd be lost without you."
"Alright, Hermione, you've made your point. I forgive you, and I will go talk to Snape, at least to get some sleeping potions." Harry agreed rather reluctantly, now that the anger had worn off.
"She's right you know mate, we can't do this without you." Ron added, wrapping his arms around Harry and his girlfriend. "Anytime you need us we're here for you."
They were so caught up in all the emotional consequences of their conversation and the cleansing properties of their embrace that none of them noticed the approaching footsteps.
"Most students go out of their way to hide romantic trysts from the teachers. I can see that once again the rules do not seem to apply to you three." A voice snarled from their right. The trio jumped apart in surprise, turning to look at the professor who interrupted them. "Twenty points from Slytherin for being out past curfew."
"Professor Snape, we were just going to go find you." Hermione continued doggedly on even in the face of their embarrassment.
"Hermione!" Harry hissed under his breath.
"You already agreed." Ron hissed back.
"Really?" Snape asked, raising a questioning eyebrow mockingly. "This shall be good. Do enlighten me as to why you three were coming from the third floor then."
"We were collecting Harry." Ron answered. "Um, he needs to speak to you."
"Really, Mister Potter?" Snape asked in a silky voice, successfully hiding his concern. When Harry didn't answer, Hermione pushed him towards their Potions Professor.
"Yes he does." Hermione answered in his place.
"My mister Potter what bushy hair you have." Snape commented cruelly, causing Hermione to blush down to her roots.
"I.. do need to.. speak to you , sir." Harry answered with obvious reluctance. He lowered his head when Snape focused his intimidating gaze on him.
"Very well. Never let it be said that I turn away a student in need, even if he is an arrogant celebrity." Sneered Snape in a vitriolic manner. "You two will return to you dormitory while I speak to Mister Potter, unless you would like to loose more points, which could easily be arranged."
"No sir." Both students answered, turning away and heading back to their beds. Although they continued to look over their shoulders at Harry looking worried as they went.
"Well, Mister Potter, follow me." Snape commanded as he strode toward the dungeons in silence. Right before the Potions classroom, Snape stopped at a charmed portrait of Salazar Slytherin. Snape spoke the password so softly that Harry couldn't hear it and before he knew it he was ushered into an unknown room.
"Since you feel the need to disturb my private time with what I am sure will be a fine example of hormonal teenage angst at it's best I thought it appropriate to have this conversation here." Snape acknowledged in a biting manner, gesturing to his private quarters. "No need to look so shocked Potter, I have been known to entertain my Slytherin students here on occasion, the headmaster knows of it."
Harry's mind immediately went to all the perverted connotations of that sentence and promptly blushed scarlet. Then he realized he was in his most hated professors private quarters in the dead of night. Harry kept a hand on his wand as he carefully looked around the room, before letting his gaze rest once again on Snape.
"Um, I'm sorry Professor. This was a mistake." Harry squeaked out before making a run for the door.
"Where's that vaunted Gryffindor courage now, Potter?" Snape sneered at his student's back. As he expected Potter stopped trying to open the door, and slowly turned around, his eyes burning an emerald green. [Once a Gryffindor, always a Gryffindor.} "There is no reason to be frightened, Potter." Snape continued in his most patronizing tone of voice. As expected Potter got his back up and preceded to stride back into the room, looking resolute.
"I am not frightened, Sir." Harry answered, making 'sir' sound like a dirty four-letter word. "I simply didn't want to bother you in your quarters. Perhaps I may speak to you in your office during the day?"
"Come now, Potter. I don't bite." Snape sneered disdainfully, as he sprawled into an armchair by the fireplace, gesturing for Potter to take the matching seat a few feet away. "I am riveted to hear what is so important that you would speak to me about it."
"You are my head of house." Harry sneered, doing a fairly good imitation of Snape.
"Very good, Potter. Now stop stalling and tell me what you wish to talk about." Snape ordered imperiously looking Harry over like a prized potion experiment.
Rated: R contains mentions of rape and torture, although not actual scenes. Possible HP/SS in later chapters, also HG/RW.
Authors Notes: I do not own Harry Potter or it's characters, that would be JKR. Subject matter not for children, although nothing too graphic, but be careful when reading just to be on the safe side.
Only the Strong
Harry's first day of classes where difficult, much like the four days that followed. He went to classes barely paying attention, doing piss poor work and nearly falling asleep. By the end of the week he had accumulated six detentions, blew up a cauldron in Potions and was nearly dead on his feet. The nights followed much the same pattern as the first. He was plagued by nightmares whenever he went to sleep, so after the first two nights he simply stopped trying. Instead he would take his invisibility cloak and sneak into the Restricted Section. Once there he would research curses and hexes that could be used to take the Dark Lord down once and for all. So far he had three parchments full. He would go to the library as soon as everyone was asleep and only come back right before breakfast.
Needless to say his friends and teachers were getting concerned about him. Besides the lack of sleep he would stay to himself mostly, with the exception of Ron and Hermione, who were constantly by his side. They were the only ones he let get close to him and only when he was aware of it. He would still jump at the slightest provocation although he was still doing a fair job of acting like everything was fine. The only people truly aware that anything was wrong were the people who knew him well, and Snape incidentally.
With all the watching he had done over the years trying to get the brat expelled he noticed the differences in his behavior straight away. Since Potter's return Snape had been keeping a close eye on the boy and his friends.
Another strange happening during the week was between Ron and Hermione. It seems that during the week that they had been back they decided to stop pussyfooting around. It was actually Hermione who asked Ron out, but the result was the same. They did decide that they would wait to tell their friend until he was a little less strained. So it was a very worried couple that went in search of Harry that Saturday night after curfew when he didn't come back to the Common Room.
They had checked all over the school before they decided to check the library on the off chance that he would be there. They found Harry surrounded by thick tomes writing single-mindedly on a piece of parchment. He was so immersed in what he was doing that he didn't notice them enter, until the door closed behind them with a squeak. This caused Harry to startle and nearly fall out of his chair. When he regained his composure he had his wand pointed at the intruders before they could react.
"Ron! Hermione! What in the bloody hell are you two doing here?" Harry asked in shock as he quickly put his wand away.
"We were worried about you, mate." Ron answered as he and Hermione sat down at Harry's table. "When you didn't come back to the Dorms we left to find you."
While Ron was talking, Hermione was checking over the books and parchments all over the table.
"Well thank, but I'm fine." Harry said convincingly.
"What is all this, Harry?" Hermione asked curiously. "Some of these hexes could be classified as Dark magic."
"Just research, Herm. Don't worry about it."
"No really. Is this what you've been doing the last couple of nights?" Ron asked.
"What?"
"You've been gone most nights." Hermione added. "Did you think we wouldn't notice? I mean look at you, it's obvious that you haven't been sleeping."
"I've just been trying to find a way to destroy Voldemort." Harry explained, ignoring the comment about his sleeping habits.
"Because you can't sleep, or you can't sleep because you're doing this?" Hermione asked, gesturing
[Damn Hermione and her intelligence.]
"Look it's nothing." Harry answered.
"Who do you think you're talking to?" Ron growled. "Come on it's us."
"Fine! Every time I actually get to sleep I have nightmares. At least this way I am doing something productive with my nights." Harry answered reluctantly.
"Harry, mate, you have got to talk to someone."
"I'm fine!"
"You're not bloody fine!" Ron screamed back. "You don't even see it. You're too busy being the good little soldier to notice how this has changed you."
"I'm doing the best that I can. Just what do you want from me?" Harry snarled getting up from the table and haphazardly throwing his supplies into his bag.
"You need to talk to someone about what happened." Hermione interjected loudly.
"Like who? Have you forgotten I'm 'the boy who lived,' anyone I talk to will publish it in the bloody papers." Harry growled.
"Look, obviously you don't want to talk to us about it, but you obviously need to talk to someone." Hermione continued, yelling over Harry.
"Gee, why wouldn't I talk to you besides the fact that you're so involved with each other that it took you a week to come talk to me! Let's see, YOU WERE THERE! YOU ALREADY KNOW WHAT HAPPENED!" Harry yelled at the top of his lungs.
"Harry we're sorry we didn't tell you, we just wanted to wait until-"
"I wasn't so mentally unstable?" Harry questioned, interrupting Ron mid-sentence.
"No, Harry." Hermione exclaimed in shock.
"And you wonder why I don't share my inner most thoughts with you guys?" Harry questioned incredulously. He quickly made his way out of the library, only to be followed out by his friends.
"If you won't talk to us, talk to someone." Hermione called after his retreating back.
"Look guys, really you two are the only one's I trust, but you were there. You two are just bloody fine, so I don't want to bring you down again. I knew what could happen when I went to rescue you, now I just have to live with the consequences." Harry explained in a halfway calm voice.
"What do you mean you knew what would happen?" Hermione questioned in a stricken voice.
"Just what I said. I had a vision remember." Harry explained anxiously before walking further away.
It took the other two a second to come to grasp that but when they did they barreled after their retreating friend.
"You came knowing what would happen with Vol- Voldemort?" Ron asked urgently, stumbling over the Dark Lord's name.
"Yes." Harry answered. "I couldn't very well leave you to him to be tortured and killed now could I?"
"My god, Harry!"
"Look it's no big deal." Harry interjected before Hermione could get anymore upset. "This is why I didn't want to tell you. You've been through enough without me making you feel guilty."
"But Harry, we want to be there for you now." Ron answered, putting an arm around Hermione's shaking shoulders. As Harry looked at his two friends, he realized he couldn't burden them further with his troubles, especially not when they were just finding happiness.
"And you are Ron. You know that, always, the both of you." Harry answered. "But talking about it to you two won't help. I mean think about it, you guys were there. I don't really have to or want to bring it up again."
"If you won't talk to us how about Snape?" Hermione suggested cautiously.
"Are you out of your bloody mind?" Both Harry and Ron screamed at the same time, looking incredulously at Hermione.
"Just listen for a second you two." Hermione said sternly. "Snape is our head of house now. Also, he was in Voldemort's inner-circle so he probably wouldn't be shocked by anything you told him. Besides the fact that the man is a Potion Master. He could at least brew you some Draught of the Living Dead to help you sleep."
"The man hates my guts, Hermione. He'd probably get a kick out of seeing 'the boy who lived' brought so low." Snarled Harry in disbelief.
"Harry you're obviously going through something we can't understand. If you don't want to talk to us about it than I don't know what you expect us to do." Hermione answered angrily. "But I for one am not going to watch you crash and burn, you'll only bring down Ron and I as well."
"I'm so sorry to be a bloody burden to you, Hermione." Snarled Harry viciously. "I didn't realize me getting raped, was such a hardship for you two to deal with. You want me to go see Snape fine, I bloody will."
"Harry, I didn't mean it that way!" Hermione called after Harry. She rushed to his side and practically threw herself into his arms. "I just want you to get better, whatever the means."
"Hermione-"
"No! I'm sorry. I didn't mean to act like we're burdened by you." Hermione continued hysterically, talking right over Harry's protests. "I love you, we both do, but you won't let us help you. Snape could. Please don't be mad, I can't watch you so listless and do nothing. Whether you want to admit it or not, you need help Harry. If you hadn't noticed, you are our best friends, we'd be lost without you."
"Alright, Hermione, you've made your point. I forgive you, and I will go talk to Snape, at least to get some sleeping potions." Harry agreed rather reluctantly, now that the anger had worn off.
"She's right you know mate, we can't do this without you." Ron added, wrapping his arms around Harry and his girlfriend. "Anytime you need us we're here for you."
They were so caught up in all the emotional consequences of their conversation and the cleansing properties of their embrace that none of them noticed the approaching footsteps.
"Most students go out of their way to hide romantic trysts from the teachers. I can see that once again the rules do not seem to apply to you three." A voice snarled from their right. The trio jumped apart in surprise, turning to look at the professor who interrupted them. "Twenty points from Slytherin for being out past curfew."
"Professor Snape, we were just going to go find you." Hermione continued doggedly on even in the face of their embarrassment.
"Hermione!" Harry hissed under his breath.
"You already agreed." Ron hissed back.
"Really?" Snape asked, raising a questioning eyebrow mockingly. "This shall be good. Do enlighten me as to why you three were coming from the third floor then."
"We were collecting Harry." Ron answered. "Um, he needs to speak to you."
"Really, Mister Potter?" Snape asked in a silky voice, successfully hiding his concern. When Harry didn't answer, Hermione pushed him towards their Potions Professor.
"Yes he does." Hermione answered in his place.
"My mister Potter what bushy hair you have." Snape commented cruelly, causing Hermione to blush down to her roots.
"I.. do need to.. speak to you , sir." Harry answered with obvious reluctance. He lowered his head when Snape focused his intimidating gaze on him.
"Very well. Never let it be said that I turn away a student in need, even if he is an arrogant celebrity." Sneered Snape in a vitriolic manner. "You two will return to you dormitory while I speak to Mister Potter, unless you would like to loose more points, which could easily be arranged."
"No sir." Both students answered, turning away and heading back to their beds. Although they continued to look over their shoulders at Harry looking worried as they went.
"Well, Mister Potter, follow me." Snape commanded as he strode toward the dungeons in silence. Right before the Potions classroom, Snape stopped at a charmed portrait of Salazar Slytherin. Snape spoke the password so softly that Harry couldn't hear it and before he knew it he was ushered into an unknown room.
"Since you feel the need to disturb my private time with what I am sure will be a fine example of hormonal teenage angst at it's best I thought it appropriate to have this conversation here." Snape acknowledged in a biting manner, gesturing to his private quarters. "No need to look so shocked Potter, I have been known to entertain my Slytherin students here on occasion, the headmaster knows of it."
Harry's mind immediately went to all the perverted connotations of that sentence and promptly blushed scarlet. Then he realized he was in his most hated professors private quarters in the dead of night. Harry kept a hand on his wand as he carefully looked around the room, before letting his gaze rest once again on Snape.
"Um, I'm sorry Professor. This was a mistake." Harry squeaked out before making a run for the door.
"Where's that vaunted Gryffindor courage now, Potter?" Snape sneered at his student's back. As he expected Potter stopped trying to open the door, and slowly turned around, his eyes burning an emerald green. [Once a Gryffindor, always a Gryffindor.} "There is no reason to be frightened, Potter." Snape continued in his most patronizing tone of voice. As expected Potter got his back up and preceded to stride back into the room, looking resolute.
"I am not frightened, Sir." Harry answered, making 'sir' sound like a dirty four-letter word. "I simply didn't want to bother you in your quarters. Perhaps I may speak to you in your office during the day?"
"Come now, Potter. I don't bite." Snape sneered disdainfully, as he sprawled into an armchair by the fireplace, gesturing for Potter to take the matching seat a few feet away. "I am riveted to hear what is so important that you would speak to me about it."
"You are my head of house." Harry sneered, doing a fairly good imitation of Snape.
"Very good, Potter. Now stop stalling and tell me what you wish to talk about." Snape ordered imperiously looking Harry over like a prized potion experiment.
