Disclaimer:  I don't own any characters from Dogma or Harry Potter. So don't sue.  All you'll get is 3 cents, a empty coke can, and a sick dog.  But I will sell my soul for the Metatron.  And, by the way, Professor Snape can poison me all he wants, but he has to nurse me back to health… with sponge baths…

It was corporate casual day up in heaven, which meant the Metatron could wear whatever he bloody well wanted. 

Hence the Bermuda shorts and Hawaiian tee shirt.  (He really liked Hawaii, since it had a great bar with some fantastic tequila on Maui.)  He'd thought about wearing a lei but decided against it when God showed up wrapped in them from head to toe.

From what he could tell, God was definitely going commando.  Would've been nice on a regular, young nymph, but, well, when it was your eons old boss it was just…odd and completely off-putting to your drinking habits.

But, wanting to keep his tequila-drinking privileges, he refrained from telling her she looked like a Maypole gone retarded.

Other than that, life in the ol' hereafter was going pretty well. He had his tequila, his visits to young females, and he got to make fun of Bartleby and Loki, who had been reincarnated as Anglz 2 Boiz, the newest ('and best and, like, cutest band ever!' their nine-year-old fans screamed) boy band to hit casa Earth..

And then God and some bloody ponce named Harry Potter got involved.

A.N.  This will be a Dogma/Harry Potter crossover, just 'cause I felt like it.  I promise to update my other stories as soon as my horrible cause of writer's block clears up.  Review and I'll get the Metatron to make a midnight visit to ya ;)