Friendship and Beyond 17/?
Rated: R contains mentions of rape and torture, although not actual scenes. Possible HP/SS in later chapters, also HG/RW.
Authors Notes: I do not own Harry Potter or it's characters, that would be JKR. Subject matter not for children, although nothing too graphic, but be careful when reading just to be on the safe side.
Warning: This chapter has a bit of vulgar language and cursing, somewhat disturbing content (at least I think so.) Notice the rating.
A Slytherin Approach
As Harry was anxiously awaiting Snape's return to awareness he began exploring his professor's private quarters with a keen eye. What Harry found greatly surprised him. Although Harry had never actively thought about what Snape's quarters would look like, they were nothing like he would have expected from the taciturn Potion's Master. Now that he could take the time to look around, without being worried about his professor's close proximity, Harry found himself involuntarily relaxing in the comfortable environment.
The fireplace flickered causing a warm glow to shine off the walls, giving the room an almost unearthly cadence. After a few surreptitious glances at Snape's prone position on the floor, Harry began exploring in earnest. He was immersed in a well-worn copy of 'Powerful Wizards and Potions Throughout the Ages,' when a hand grabbed him from behind causing Harry to drop the book in his alarm.
"I do not believe I gave you permission to go through my personal possessions, Potter." Snape sneered, although with perhaps less heat then was usual.
"Um… No sir." Harry answered, bending to pick up the volume lying so haphazardly on the floor, that he had been so engrossed in previously. Snape watched him impassively for a few seconds, noticing for the first time the title of the book Potter was reading. The Potion's Master raised an eyebrow in surprise at Harry's bent head.
"If that particular volume interests you, perhaps you are not the complete dunderhead I previously believed you to be Potter. If you would be interested, you may borrow it to read at your leisure, so long as it is returned to me in the same condition as it was lent out." Snape offered awkwardly, gesturing for Harry to keep the potion's book, when it looked like he would replace it on the bookshelf.
"Thanks Professor." Harry mumbled blushing profusely. He hoped that his professor wasn't doing this out of some misplaced sense of pity. After thinking it over however, Harry came to the conclusion that Snape would not give away potions books even out of pity, let alone to a Potter.
"You are welcome. Let's just hope that an understanding of the theory behind potions making will help improve your competence. Although I will not hold my breath for that occurrence." Snape acknowledged in a particularly Snapeish way, gesturing for Harry to sit back down. "Now onto the business at hand. If you wish for me to keep you stocked with Living Death, I expect you to keep me informed of how you are feeling. I will expect you to see me every day after dinner to discuss your progress until I feel it is no longer necessary."
"Is that actually necessary, Professor?" Harry asked irritably looking slightly pale.
"Why don't you tell me, Potter." Snape answered, looking at his student's slumped posture. "If you can honestly look me in the eye and tell me you are dealing with what that bastard did to you I will not bring it up again, unless you mention it first."
"Keep a few things in mind however before you answer. First off your friends must have been rather desperate to suggest you speak to me at all. So they at least think you should talk to me. Secondly, I have noticed how quiet and withdrawn you have become. If you keep this all inside you will become bitter and jaded. Thirdly, take it from someone who understands, the sooner you deal with a great trauma and begin to accept it, the quicker you will begin to recover."
Harry was looking at Snape wide-eyed and shaken as he finished his speech.
"I am…"
"The truth, Potter." Snape ordered, his eyes flashing threateningly as he glared at his stubborn student. Harry met him glare for glare.
"Damn you!" Harry cursed. "Why couldn't you just leave it alone? I only wanted a bloody sleeping potion."
"I am not in the habit of giving out highly addictive potions to students simply because they ask for them, especially without a word in explanation. Now answer the bloody question." Snape commanded in his silkiest tone of voice. "What's the matter, Potter, where's your backbone? Answer the question."
"How the bloody hell do you think I feel?" Snarled Harry, glaring angrily at Snape. He was so furious that he failed to notice the self-satisfied smirk that momentarily crossed Snape's face. "Every single bloody time I manage to actually get to sleep I wake up in a cold sweat. I've become accustomed to putting up silencing charms so I don't wake Ron with my screaming. I have flashbacks of having that bastard's cock up my ass, and being helpless to stop him. I jump at shadows and flinch when anyone comes up to me unexpectedly. I'm a Gryffindor for cripe's sake and I would be hiding in my bed if not for Ron and 'Mione. Does that sound bloody fine to you?" Harry asked scathingly.
"Every thing you just described are perfectly normal reactions after a trauma, but you will manage to put this behind you with time." Snape replied calmly.
"I didn't think Slytherin's were blind optimists, Snape." Harry commented ironically.
"We are not."
"Exactly. So save the pep talks for Dumbledore. He is much better at them anyway." Harry sneered.
"As you wish, Mister Potter." Severus agreed, looking his angry young student in the eye. "Perhaps a more Slytherin approach would work best after all."
Before Harry could question his professor further, Snape had risen from his seat and was across the intervening distance between them, until he was standing directly in front of Harry. As Harry made to rise, Snape moved even closer, thereby effectively hedging him in. Harry tried to hold his ground, but the Professor towering over him was intimidating in the best of times, now however, he looked downright demonic.
"What do you think you're doing?" Harry tried to ask, but he found all of his anger had left him, leaving a cold ball of fear in its place. His voice came out a strained whisper.
"You look a tad uncomfortable, Potter." Snape commented casually. He noticed a slight movement of Harry's right wrist, and before the boy knew what was happening he found his arms being pinned to his chair in only one of Snape's own. His wand was efficiently taken from him and placed out of arms reach leaving Harry at a great disadvantage.
"Now, now, none of that." Snape murmured in a soft, almost soothing voice, idly caressing Harry's trapped wrists. "You brought this on yourself after all."
"Let me up." Harry whispered, no longer able to stop his body from shaking as he wiggled trying to get out of his professor's grip. "Why are you doing this?"
"Why, Potter?" Snape asked silkily, watching the cringing body underneath him impassively. "Quite simple. You are pathetic. Look at you, boy! Cowering away from me like a goddamn Hufflepuff. Where's the child who saved the school in his first year at Hogwarts? Faced a basilisk in second year to help his friend's sister? Fought the dark lord himself, alone in a graveyard? Who ran off heedless of danger to try to free his supposedly imprisoned godfather?"
"Let me go."
"I have no intention of letting you go boy. I could do anything I wanted with you, Potter. Think about it. You are in my private quarters, without your wand, and at my complete mercy. Poor Potter, what ever are you going to do?" Snape hissed softly into his student's ear.
"Stop it." Whimpered Potter, panic-stricken.
"If you can't face your fears now, how will you manage to defeat Voldemort?" Snape continued, leaning more of his weight on the imprisoned boy, listening as Potter's breathing began to quicken. [Come on, Potter. Fight me. I know you're still in there somewhere. This has got to work.] "Is this the great Harry Potter, cowering and whimpering in fear? The dark lord must be quaking with terror."
"You bloody scum!" Screamed Harry furiously. "Get the fuck off me!"
Before Severus could respond further to the young man bucking underneath him, a blinding energy ball hit him, causing him to fly off Potter and land in a slump on the floor. Standing before him was Harry Potter, looking as dangerous as Severus had ever seen him. His clenched fists were crackling with suppressed magical energy, even though his wand still lay by Snape's body.
"It's about time you found your bloody backbone, Potter." Snape sneered in his most haughty voice. "I was getting a little sick of you cowering from everything."
"Who the hell-"
"Enough with the histrionics Potter." Snape commented from his position lying on the floor at Potter's feet, looking disgustedly around at the shambles left of his living room "I won't tolerate the further destruction of my living room. However, it is good to see a bit of that Gryffindor spark in your eyes once again, although if you ever tell anyone I said so I will cut out your tongue and use it in my potion experiments."
Harry continued to stare at Snape as he painfully made his way to his feet, looking thoroughly gob-smacked.
"You did this intentionally." Harry asked incredulously.
"Of course I did Potter." Snape answered looking less demonic by the moment. "While I often find you an insufferable, irritating, foolhardy man. I would never intentionally hurt you, despite what many of you think of me."
"Then what?"
"Frankly Mister Potter, you needed a good kick in the ass." Snape sneered amusedly. "If you let fear fester it becomes over powering. You did not notice, but you were rapidly becoming terrified of everything. I merely caused you to face some of your more paralyzing fears."
"But what would that do?" Harry asked.
"It will not help you with the memories of Voldemort's rape, but it will help you feel less helpless." Snape answered, ignoring Harry's reaction at the word 'rape.'
"But you wouldn't have hurt me." Harry commented questioningly.
"True, but you never knew that, Potter. You managed to protect yourself wandless against a fully trained former death eater. You are quite a powerful wizard, however much it behooves me to admit it. And now I trust you will be prepared for all eventualities. There is no reason for you to be powerless again. Now if you'd just put any effort into your studies…" Snape commented, going into a long tirade about Harry's abysmal aptitude in potions, while leading him to a small cabinet by his bedroom door.
"Here is the Draught of the Living Death you asked for. It should last about a month, liberally taken. If the nightmares aren't manageable by then I will restock your supply."
"Thank you, Professor." Harry said softly, looking at Snape from lowered lashes while giving his 'most-hated professor' a shy smile in gratitude. Snape studiously ignored the trembling in his belly as a result.
"I am your head of house, Potter." Sneered Snape, acknowledging Harry's insult from earlier, causing the Seventh Year to blush in embarrassment.
"Don't remind me." Harry mumbled, shaking his head in bemusement.
"I believe you should be in bed. If memory serves me you have Double Potions with me first thing tomorrow morning." Snape reminded him. "I will take points if you are late."
Snape lead Harry to the entrance of his quarters looking his student over carefully. Although Snape was not naïve enough to believe that Potter's problems would magically disappear over night, Harry did manage to get over much of his perpetual fear, and was walking with a bit of his usual confidence back. Right before Harry walked out of the portrait, Snape stopped him with a restraining hand to his upper arm, pleased when Harry didn't blatantly flinch at the contact.
"Ah, Potter. You forgot your wand." With a small wave of his hand, Snape wandlessly summoned Potter's wand, which had remained in its place on the floor during their conversation. Harry took it wordlessly, flashing a grin at his professor, before he walked out of the portrait and down the hall. Before Harry could disappear around the corner, Snape found himself taking a step out of his quarters.
"Potter." He waited for the young man to turn around. "Sleep well."
There was a moment of silent surprise as Harry looked over his Professor, before he relaxed and smile in response. After his professor had closed the portrait behind his student, Harry continued to stare at the picture of Salazar Slytherin in befuddlement.
"Sleep well, Professor Snape." Harry murmured before he turned around, walking back to his dorm room where Hermione and Ron were undoubtedly waiting for a full report.
Rated: R contains mentions of rape and torture, although not actual scenes. Possible HP/SS in later chapters, also HG/RW.
Authors Notes: I do not own Harry Potter or it's characters, that would be JKR. Subject matter not for children, although nothing too graphic, but be careful when reading just to be on the safe side.
Warning: This chapter has a bit of vulgar language and cursing, somewhat disturbing content (at least I think so.) Notice the rating.
A Slytherin Approach
As Harry was anxiously awaiting Snape's return to awareness he began exploring his professor's private quarters with a keen eye. What Harry found greatly surprised him. Although Harry had never actively thought about what Snape's quarters would look like, they were nothing like he would have expected from the taciturn Potion's Master. Now that he could take the time to look around, without being worried about his professor's close proximity, Harry found himself involuntarily relaxing in the comfortable environment.
The fireplace flickered causing a warm glow to shine off the walls, giving the room an almost unearthly cadence. After a few surreptitious glances at Snape's prone position on the floor, Harry began exploring in earnest. He was immersed in a well-worn copy of 'Powerful Wizards and Potions Throughout the Ages,' when a hand grabbed him from behind causing Harry to drop the book in his alarm.
"I do not believe I gave you permission to go through my personal possessions, Potter." Snape sneered, although with perhaps less heat then was usual.
"Um… No sir." Harry answered, bending to pick up the volume lying so haphazardly on the floor, that he had been so engrossed in previously. Snape watched him impassively for a few seconds, noticing for the first time the title of the book Potter was reading. The Potion's Master raised an eyebrow in surprise at Harry's bent head.
"If that particular volume interests you, perhaps you are not the complete dunderhead I previously believed you to be Potter. If you would be interested, you may borrow it to read at your leisure, so long as it is returned to me in the same condition as it was lent out." Snape offered awkwardly, gesturing for Harry to keep the potion's book, when it looked like he would replace it on the bookshelf.
"Thanks Professor." Harry mumbled blushing profusely. He hoped that his professor wasn't doing this out of some misplaced sense of pity. After thinking it over however, Harry came to the conclusion that Snape would not give away potions books even out of pity, let alone to a Potter.
"You are welcome. Let's just hope that an understanding of the theory behind potions making will help improve your competence. Although I will not hold my breath for that occurrence." Snape acknowledged in a particularly Snapeish way, gesturing for Harry to sit back down. "Now onto the business at hand. If you wish for me to keep you stocked with Living Death, I expect you to keep me informed of how you are feeling. I will expect you to see me every day after dinner to discuss your progress until I feel it is no longer necessary."
"Is that actually necessary, Professor?" Harry asked irritably looking slightly pale.
"Why don't you tell me, Potter." Snape answered, looking at his student's slumped posture. "If you can honestly look me in the eye and tell me you are dealing with what that bastard did to you I will not bring it up again, unless you mention it first."
"Keep a few things in mind however before you answer. First off your friends must have been rather desperate to suggest you speak to me at all. So they at least think you should talk to me. Secondly, I have noticed how quiet and withdrawn you have become. If you keep this all inside you will become bitter and jaded. Thirdly, take it from someone who understands, the sooner you deal with a great trauma and begin to accept it, the quicker you will begin to recover."
Harry was looking at Snape wide-eyed and shaken as he finished his speech.
"I am…"
"The truth, Potter." Snape ordered, his eyes flashing threateningly as he glared at his stubborn student. Harry met him glare for glare.
"Damn you!" Harry cursed. "Why couldn't you just leave it alone? I only wanted a bloody sleeping potion."
"I am not in the habit of giving out highly addictive potions to students simply because they ask for them, especially without a word in explanation. Now answer the bloody question." Snape commanded in his silkiest tone of voice. "What's the matter, Potter, where's your backbone? Answer the question."
"How the bloody hell do you think I feel?" Snarled Harry, glaring angrily at Snape. He was so furious that he failed to notice the self-satisfied smirk that momentarily crossed Snape's face. "Every single bloody time I manage to actually get to sleep I wake up in a cold sweat. I've become accustomed to putting up silencing charms so I don't wake Ron with my screaming. I have flashbacks of having that bastard's cock up my ass, and being helpless to stop him. I jump at shadows and flinch when anyone comes up to me unexpectedly. I'm a Gryffindor for cripe's sake and I would be hiding in my bed if not for Ron and 'Mione. Does that sound bloody fine to you?" Harry asked scathingly.
"Every thing you just described are perfectly normal reactions after a trauma, but you will manage to put this behind you with time." Snape replied calmly.
"I didn't think Slytherin's were blind optimists, Snape." Harry commented ironically.
"We are not."
"Exactly. So save the pep talks for Dumbledore. He is much better at them anyway." Harry sneered.
"As you wish, Mister Potter." Severus agreed, looking his angry young student in the eye. "Perhaps a more Slytherin approach would work best after all."
Before Harry could question his professor further, Snape had risen from his seat and was across the intervening distance between them, until he was standing directly in front of Harry. As Harry made to rise, Snape moved even closer, thereby effectively hedging him in. Harry tried to hold his ground, but the Professor towering over him was intimidating in the best of times, now however, he looked downright demonic.
"What do you think you're doing?" Harry tried to ask, but he found all of his anger had left him, leaving a cold ball of fear in its place. His voice came out a strained whisper.
"You look a tad uncomfortable, Potter." Snape commented casually. He noticed a slight movement of Harry's right wrist, and before the boy knew what was happening he found his arms being pinned to his chair in only one of Snape's own. His wand was efficiently taken from him and placed out of arms reach leaving Harry at a great disadvantage.
"Now, now, none of that." Snape murmured in a soft, almost soothing voice, idly caressing Harry's trapped wrists. "You brought this on yourself after all."
"Let me up." Harry whispered, no longer able to stop his body from shaking as he wiggled trying to get out of his professor's grip. "Why are you doing this?"
"Why, Potter?" Snape asked silkily, watching the cringing body underneath him impassively. "Quite simple. You are pathetic. Look at you, boy! Cowering away from me like a goddamn Hufflepuff. Where's the child who saved the school in his first year at Hogwarts? Faced a basilisk in second year to help his friend's sister? Fought the dark lord himself, alone in a graveyard? Who ran off heedless of danger to try to free his supposedly imprisoned godfather?"
"Let me go."
"I have no intention of letting you go boy. I could do anything I wanted with you, Potter. Think about it. You are in my private quarters, without your wand, and at my complete mercy. Poor Potter, what ever are you going to do?" Snape hissed softly into his student's ear.
"Stop it." Whimpered Potter, panic-stricken.
"If you can't face your fears now, how will you manage to defeat Voldemort?" Snape continued, leaning more of his weight on the imprisoned boy, listening as Potter's breathing began to quicken. [Come on, Potter. Fight me. I know you're still in there somewhere. This has got to work.] "Is this the great Harry Potter, cowering and whimpering in fear? The dark lord must be quaking with terror."
"You bloody scum!" Screamed Harry furiously. "Get the fuck off me!"
Before Severus could respond further to the young man bucking underneath him, a blinding energy ball hit him, causing him to fly off Potter and land in a slump on the floor. Standing before him was Harry Potter, looking as dangerous as Severus had ever seen him. His clenched fists were crackling with suppressed magical energy, even though his wand still lay by Snape's body.
"It's about time you found your bloody backbone, Potter." Snape sneered in his most haughty voice. "I was getting a little sick of you cowering from everything."
"Who the hell-"
"Enough with the histrionics Potter." Snape commented from his position lying on the floor at Potter's feet, looking disgustedly around at the shambles left of his living room "I won't tolerate the further destruction of my living room. However, it is good to see a bit of that Gryffindor spark in your eyes once again, although if you ever tell anyone I said so I will cut out your tongue and use it in my potion experiments."
Harry continued to stare at Snape as he painfully made his way to his feet, looking thoroughly gob-smacked.
"You did this intentionally." Harry asked incredulously.
"Of course I did Potter." Snape answered looking less demonic by the moment. "While I often find you an insufferable, irritating, foolhardy man. I would never intentionally hurt you, despite what many of you think of me."
"Then what?"
"Frankly Mister Potter, you needed a good kick in the ass." Snape sneered amusedly. "If you let fear fester it becomes over powering. You did not notice, but you were rapidly becoming terrified of everything. I merely caused you to face some of your more paralyzing fears."
"But what would that do?" Harry asked.
"It will not help you with the memories of Voldemort's rape, but it will help you feel less helpless." Snape answered, ignoring Harry's reaction at the word 'rape.'
"But you wouldn't have hurt me." Harry commented questioningly.
"True, but you never knew that, Potter. You managed to protect yourself wandless against a fully trained former death eater. You are quite a powerful wizard, however much it behooves me to admit it. And now I trust you will be prepared for all eventualities. There is no reason for you to be powerless again. Now if you'd just put any effort into your studies…" Snape commented, going into a long tirade about Harry's abysmal aptitude in potions, while leading him to a small cabinet by his bedroom door.
"Here is the Draught of the Living Death you asked for. It should last about a month, liberally taken. If the nightmares aren't manageable by then I will restock your supply."
"Thank you, Professor." Harry said softly, looking at Snape from lowered lashes while giving his 'most-hated professor' a shy smile in gratitude. Snape studiously ignored the trembling in his belly as a result.
"I am your head of house, Potter." Sneered Snape, acknowledging Harry's insult from earlier, causing the Seventh Year to blush in embarrassment.
"Don't remind me." Harry mumbled, shaking his head in bemusement.
"I believe you should be in bed. If memory serves me you have Double Potions with me first thing tomorrow morning." Snape reminded him. "I will take points if you are late."
Snape lead Harry to the entrance of his quarters looking his student over carefully. Although Snape was not naïve enough to believe that Potter's problems would magically disappear over night, Harry did manage to get over much of his perpetual fear, and was walking with a bit of his usual confidence back. Right before Harry walked out of the portrait, Snape stopped him with a restraining hand to his upper arm, pleased when Harry didn't blatantly flinch at the contact.
"Ah, Potter. You forgot your wand." With a small wave of his hand, Snape wandlessly summoned Potter's wand, which had remained in its place on the floor during their conversation. Harry took it wordlessly, flashing a grin at his professor, before he walked out of the portrait and down the hall. Before Harry could disappear around the corner, Snape found himself taking a step out of his quarters.
"Potter." He waited for the young man to turn around. "Sleep well."
There was a moment of silent surprise as Harry looked over his Professor, before he relaxed and smile in response. After his professor had closed the portrait behind his student, Harry continued to stare at the picture of Salazar Slytherin in befuddlement.
"Sleep well, Professor Snape." Harry murmured before he turned around, walking back to his dorm room where Hermione and Ron were undoubtedly waiting for a full report.
