(A/N) This chapter is written entirely from Riku's POV. Don't ask me why
I've done this because you will find out soon enough, maybe in the next
chapter. But no, in the one after that. Well, maybe not, but I do assure
you, you will find out, you will! Hope you likey, I was getting bored of
just writing Kairi, Kairi, Kairi over again, even though I committed myself
to it at the beginning. Oh well, read on and review!!!
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~Riku sat up on his roof, staring out over the ocean~
Everyone had gone home that night, including myself. But why didn't I feel better? I was finally out of that prison, that stupid hospital, but why did I still feel trapped? It was the oddest of feelings, I usually felt free when I sat up here, high above the world, like I could touch the stars or fly away. I could grasp the ocean and let the water flow over my hand. But somehow it didn't feel that way tonight.
My gaze shifted over the tiny beach. Of course it looked even smaller then it usually does from up here. I imagined, for a second, that Sora was down there, running after Kairi with his stupid little wooden sword lazily slumped over his shoulder. I pictured all of them, Selphie, Tidus. even Wakka, like it had used to be. I dreamt that we could go back to those days, if only for a moment.
I sighed deeply and turned back over to the sky, the stars dully shining through the fog, the cool breeze slashing my hair around my head. I couldn't help but think about Kairi, her dazzling image constantly plastered in my mind. God, I knew that this wasn't just a crush. I was in love with her from the day I first saw her, when she first came here. At first, I thought she might have liked me back, but as time wore on I couldn't help but notice that she kept growing ever closer to Sora, constantly by his side, flirting with him. Of course, I thought that was what it was, but then one day when I was still in jr. high, she told me that she liked me, more then just a friend kind of like. She told me that she was just trying to avoid me because she was nervous. A basic sign that is was just a crush. It was silly really, but after that we did get closer, but it never got passed a friendly kiss on the cheek or a harmless handholding. She did the same with Sora, but I guess that I couldn't complain. No one in my book could even come close to Kairi, but Kairi was living in a different book, in this book Sora and me were obviously equal.
I know it was selfish of me, but I kind of wish that she would just love me back as much as I love her, and for just one night, I want her to forget about Sora to just be with me. No heartache, no Sora, just Kairi, me, and. I don't know, our own relationship, togetherness. I just wanted her for myself so badly I could almost cry. I felt like just breaking down and stopping, right here, submitting myself to my feelings and letting go. Surrender to myself and just begone because I knew that Sora wanted her just as much. So to over rule my selfishness, I wanted Sora to have her. Whatever made Kairi happy would make me happy. I just wanted to see her smile, that smile that I swear I haven't seen since the beginning of last summer. I don't know what happened to her at camp, but I am sure something changed. Nothing at all changed here, Sora and I just went around al day beating on each other waiting for Kairi to come back, waiting for something better to do.
I drew my feet up to my chest and wrapped my arms around them in attempt to get warmer. The night air was getting colder and I only wished that I had my sweatshirt on. I wanted Kairi to be here, to sit next to me. I wanted to wake up tomorrow and find myself back last June, to beg Kairi more to stay, to go with her, anything. I guess that it was all that time alone this summer that made all three of us think. We all discovered our feelings, what a mistake that was. Kairi the most, I believe. She wrote me a letter last summer, she wrote Sora one as well. She told me how lonely she was and that she wished she was back home. I guess it really didn't matter that I wanted the same thing; she just went about assuming that I was fine even though I wasn't. I had written back to her telling her that I wished she were back as well. I told her that I missed her and that I wished she would come back sooner. The only thing I regret about that letter was that I signed it Love Riku. I ultimately knew that it was a mistake even before I mailed it to her. But she wrote me back saying that she loved me too. At first I was really happy, but then she went on about how she loved Sora as well. I suppose that that was the first time that I realized what a situation we were in. At first I thought almost nothing of it, but then when she came back, and the first week of school. I wanted to beat Sora so hard. I guess all of the competing to try and show her who was better only gave her a migraine. I was really disappointed in myself because I felt her draw away. I suppose when I get really sad I just cover it up with anger, and that's what I did. But when I'm around Kairi, it's almost like I'm a different person, she opens me up to be someone better. When she's around I just want her so bad that it makes me become nicer, it exposes my true feelings and that stupid aggression I get when I try to hide something, that just disappears.
The other day Sora called me, and we talked for almost an hour about her and how we felt. It was amazing, but he made me realize how I truly felt. He made me realize that I didn't want to hate him, but I almost felt sorry for him. Sora and I, we're on the same page now. We both want the same thing and we both are aware that no matter how hard we try, no matter what progress we make in trying to forget, everything just disappears when we look into her eyes, every past emotion resurfaces. The tearing pain at my heart seems to go away for a single moment when I'm next to her and then she'll speak and it's like I'm talking to an angel. Because that's what Kairi is, an angel. She's a miracle sent down from heaven to be my life. She brought me religion and hope. In those few seconds between dream and reality, she's the only thing that I think about, she's the one who I would give up my life for just to see her smile, even if the smile left quicker than it came. She is one single person in this entire universe that has the power to make me surrender she is the only one who can bring me down and pull me back up quicker than a blink of an eye. She is the person who holds my heart and I will forever be hers, even if she can't be mine.
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~Riku sat up on his roof, staring out over the ocean~
Everyone had gone home that night, including myself. But why didn't I feel better? I was finally out of that prison, that stupid hospital, but why did I still feel trapped? It was the oddest of feelings, I usually felt free when I sat up here, high above the world, like I could touch the stars or fly away. I could grasp the ocean and let the water flow over my hand. But somehow it didn't feel that way tonight.
My gaze shifted over the tiny beach. Of course it looked even smaller then it usually does from up here. I imagined, for a second, that Sora was down there, running after Kairi with his stupid little wooden sword lazily slumped over his shoulder. I pictured all of them, Selphie, Tidus. even Wakka, like it had used to be. I dreamt that we could go back to those days, if only for a moment.
I sighed deeply and turned back over to the sky, the stars dully shining through the fog, the cool breeze slashing my hair around my head. I couldn't help but think about Kairi, her dazzling image constantly plastered in my mind. God, I knew that this wasn't just a crush. I was in love with her from the day I first saw her, when she first came here. At first, I thought she might have liked me back, but as time wore on I couldn't help but notice that she kept growing ever closer to Sora, constantly by his side, flirting with him. Of course, I thought that was what it was, but then one day when I was still in jr. high, she told me that she liked me, more then just a friend kind of like. She told me that she was just trying to avoid me because she was nervous. A basic sign that is was just a crush. It was silly really, but after that we did get closer, but it never got passed a friendly kiss on the cheek or a harmless handholding. She did the same with Sora, but I guess that I couldn't complain. No one in my book could even come close to Kairi, but Kairi was living in a different book, in this book Sora and me were obviously equal.
I know it was selfish of me, but I kind of wish that she would just love me back as much as I love her, and for just one night, I want her to forget about Sora to just be with me. No heartache, no Sora, just Kairi, me, and. I don't know, our own relationship, togetherness. I just wanted her for myself so badly I could almost cry. I felt like just breaking down and stopping, right here, submitting myself to my feelings and letting go. Surrender to myself and just begone because I knew that Sora wanted her just as much. So to over rule my selfishness, I wanted Sora to have her. Whatever made Kairi happy would make me happy. I just wanted to see her smile, that smile that I swear I haven't seen since the beginning of last summer. I don't know what happened to her at camp, but I am sure something changed. Nothing at all changed here, Sora and I just went around al day beating on each other waiting for Kairi to come back, waiting for something better to do.
I drew my feet up to my chest and wrapped my arms around them in attempt to get warmer. The night air was getting colder and I only wished that I had my sweatshirt on. I wanted Kairi to be here, to sit next to me. I wanted to wake up tomorrow and find myself back last June, to beg Kairi more to stay, to go with her, anything. I guess that it was all that time alone this summer that made all three of us think. We all discovered our feelings, what a mistake that was. Kairi the most, I believe. She wrote me a letter last summer, she wrote Sora one as well. She told me how lonely she was and that she wished she was back home. I guess it really didn't matter that I wanted the same thing; she just went about assuming that I was fine even though I wasn't. I had written back to her telling her that I wished she were back as well. I told her that I missed her and that I wished she would come back sooner. The only thing I regret about that letter was that I signed it Love Riku. I ultimately knew that it was a mistake even before I mailed it to her. But she wrote me back saying that she loved me too. At first I was really happy, but then she went on about how she loved Sora as well. I suppose that that was the first time that I realized what a situation we were in. At first I thought almost nothing of it, but then when she came back, and the first week of school. I wanted to beat Sora so hard. I guess all of the competing to try and show her who was better only gave her a migraine. I was really disappointed in myself because I felt her draw away. I suppose when I get really sad I just cover it up with anger, and that's what I did. But when I'm around Kairi, it's almost like I'm a different person, she opens me up to be someone better. When she's around I just want her so bad that it makes me become nicer, it exposes my true feelings and that stupid aggression I get when I try to hide something, that just disappears.
The other day Sora called me, and we talked for almost an hour about her and how we felt. It was amazing, but he made me realize how I truly felt. He made me realize that I didn't want to hate him, but I almost felt sorry for him. Sora and I, we're on the same page now. We both want the same thing and we both are aware that no matter how hard we try, no matter what progress we make in trying to forget, everything just disappears when we look into her eyes, every past emotion resurfaces. The tearing pain at my heart seems to go away for a single moment when I'm next to her and then she'll speak and it's like I'm talking to an angel. Because that's what Kairi is, an angel. She's a miracle sent down from heaven to be my life. She brought me religion and hope. In those few seconds between dream and reality, she's the only thing that I think about, she's the one who I would give up my life for just to see her smile, even if the smile left quicker than it came. She is one single person in this entire universe that has the power to make me surrender she is the only one who can bring me down and pull me back up quicker than a blink of an eye. She is the person who holds my heart and I will forever be hers, even if she can't be mine.
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