Hermione was not what one would call a girlie girl. In fact, if not for the fact she was anatomically female, she wouldn't even be called a girl. She knew this. She had, in fact, accepted this fact at the tender age of six, when she realized quantum physics was more exciting than nail polish 101.

In general her life couldn't be better. She had intelligence, charm, and—well, not beauty, but two out of three wasn't too bad. Why would one need looks when they had brains? Stupid, really….

She repeated that to herself as she stared at her meager wardrobe. Two wrinkled gray skirts, three plain button-down tops, and a pair of striped socks. Good God, when had she become this boring?  Honestly. She was a bookworm, not a half-blind geriatric.

"Oh, God. I did not just think that." She said loudly. Oh, yes you did, her inner TeenandRatherAnnoyingHermione said gleefully. She mentally smacked herself. No, because that would be wrong. I don't do fashion. Or crushes. Or anything remotely immature, her inner RealisticandBoringHermione shot back.

Oh, yeah. That's why we're all worried about how we look in front of Angel Boy, huh?

I am not worried. I simply want to make a good impression. RealisticHermione said edgily.

Good impression?! With those rags? I'll show you good impression. Just throw yours-

Hermione broke the figurative argument by moaning, "Great. I'm now certifiably crazy. And slightly geeky. And why does the Metatron have to be anatomically impaired?"

She clamped her hands to her mouth and whimpered. Oh, no. Oh dear God. She had not just thought that. Bloody Metratron and his bloody good looks and nice ar-

She whimpered again.

---

Harry was hungry. And tired of waiting for Hermione. Since when had she taken so long to get dressed? Usually she was ready before he or Ron were even functioning properly. He sighed and looked at Ron, who appeared to be close to fainting from hunger.

As if on cue he sat up and cried, "I'm hungry. Can we just go now?"

The Metaron looked at Ron sulkily and replied, "No. Dumbledore specifically said to retrieve you. All of you."

"Damn." Ron muttered. Harry silently agreed. The Metatron rolled his eyes and continued to tap his fingers against the armrest of his chair.  Struck by sudden inspriration, Harry asked, "So, what do you do on your off time?"

The Metraon looked at Harry with an expression similar to Snape after he had been asked 'if he was in fact a vampire, and if so, can I get out of class, because my mum says vampires are health hazards' by a pathetically inept first-year. Then he squeezed his eyes shut as if deep in thought. He was about to reply when a girl's voice said, "Sorry it took so long…. I, uh, couldn't find anything to wear."

Harry turned to see Hermione standing behind him fidgeting nervously. Ron leapt up, muttering, "Finally!" For a moment he looked at Hermione in confusion.

Hermione smiled nervously. "What?"

"Nothing…." Ron replied hastily. "Just thought for a minute there you had eyeliner on." He turned away and began walking, missing Hermione's fearful expression. The Metatron smirked to himself, and stood up, slowly following Ron. Harry, however, stayed put. For a moment he looked at Hermione without speaking, before leaning towards her and whispering, "I won't tell anybody."

Hermione smiled gratefully.

---

By the time the four reached the entrance hall Ron was practically salivating, Hermione had rubbed her eyeliner off with her sleeve (successfully making herself look like a beaver-raccoon hybrid), and the Metatron was being stalked by a slowly growing group of girls.

"-Wish he taught Potions." One girl said wistfully.

"Wish he taught something other than Potions. If you know what I mean." Another girl replied in a voice heavy with innuendo, looking at the Metatron with a scary expression on her face. Harry turned quickly and twitched.

Since when had Ginny Weasley even know about those types of things? He smiled uneasily at Ginny. She ignored him and continued, "One-on-one." She grinned mischievously.

There was a chorus of "Oh, yeah!"s from the group of girls.

Harry quickened his pace. For the first time in his life he fervently thanked the gods that he was small and bespectacled.

A.N.- That's it. Think of it as the intro to the breakfast chapter. In which the Metatron gets an official fanclub, Ron- gasp, shudder, sneer- asks Herm out, and Snape gets royally pissed off. (More than usual, that is.) And yes, it will be longer and, hopefully, have much more of a plot. I'm sorry for not posting earlier- I've had major writer's block. I'm not making any promises about the next chapter, but stay on the lookout. It should be out soon.

Hopefully. :}