By the time they arrived at the great hall most of the school was seated at the various house tables, eating breakfast, or in a few cases, guiltily finishing last night's homework.

As usual a few people looked up when Harry, Ron, and Hermione (and the Metatron and his various fangirls) entered the hall. "Hey, Har-" Seamus Finnigan began, before being cut off by a slightly high-pitched squeal from Lavender Brown.

"Oh, who's he?" She asked, pointing at the Metatron. Harry sighed.

"He's a relative of Snape's who's visiting for a while."

Parvati Patil giggled. "Seems he got all the looks, huh?"

The Metatron smirked, causing Lavender to sigh dreamily. Hermione rolled her eyes and sat down in her seat heavily, trying not to curse Lavender for her stupidity. (Or because she's looking at Angel Boy, her inner voice sniped.) Ron scrambled into a seat next to her, accidentally knocking her knee with his. "Sorry," he said sheepishly, ears tinged pink.

Hermione was about to reply when Professor Snape appeared. "Weasley, Lovegood, Chang, and all you other idiot girls, return to your house tables now. Five points each from your houses." He glared as the group of girls behind the Metatron slowly backed off, a few muttering amongst themselves. "And, yes, Parkinson, that includes you."

"But sir-"

"Now, Parkinson, unless you wish to explain to your housemates why they are now thirty points behind Ravenclaw in the house cup tally."

Pansy Parkinson glared at Snape for a moment before stalking toward the Slytherin table. Snape merely turned toward the Metatron and said, "Headmaster Dumbledore has requested that you join us at the staff table." Hermione, watching carefully, noticed his eye twitch, as though he was forcing himself to be civil. Which, she considered, he probably was.

The Metatron nodded, smirking slightly at Snape, who turned on his heel and continued toward the staff table. "Well, then. That should make him rather angry."

Ron smiled. "Yeah... Must be great being you. Getting to annoy Snape and him not being able to do anything about it."

Hermione rolled her eyes. Honestly, would Ron ever gow up? Not likely, her inner voice snarked. Harry smiled and looked at her, obviously thinking the same thing.

"Yes, and amusing as this entire conversation is, I do believe I'm needed at the staff table." The Metatron interjected, smoothly interrupting Ron, who looked as if he was going to continue speaking. "Good day, rabbits."

Ginny, a few seats down and listening intently to the conversation, asked, "Rabbits?"

"Sounds kinky." Lavender said dreamily. Parvati giggled.

Hermione buried her face in her hands.

---------

"May I have your attention, please?" Professor McGonagall called. Next to her Dumbledore smiled and stood up, motioning for her to quit tapping her glass.

"As you have no doubt noticed, we have a few guests with us today." Dumbledore began. He motioned towards Jay and Silent Bob, who were seated on either side of Hagrid, and then toward the Metatron, who, to his horror, had been seated next to Trelawney, who kept predicting his emminent death at the hands of an enraged chimera. A few seats to the Metatron's left, Snape was watching his pretend brother's growing discomfort and smirking evilly. "They will be staying with us for a few weeks, and I ask you to show them every courtesy befitting a Hogwarts guest. Now, onto introductions!"

A few Hufflepuff first-years cheered. The rest of the student body remained quiet, though a few of the older students laughed quietly at the enthusiastic eleven-year-olds.

"The two gentlemen on either side of Hagrid will be assisting him in his various duties around the castle. On his right is Jay and on his left is Silent Bob." Jay leered at a few of the girls sitting in front of him and was about to talk when Hagrid nudged him in the side. Silent Bob simply waved at the students. Jay rubbed his side, muttering something that looked suspiscously like curse words.

"Think they're Muggles?" Dean Thomas whispered.

"They look it." Parvati answered, her nose wrinkling in distaste at their unkempt appearances. Across the hall Draco Malfoy began whispering in Pansy Parkinson's ear.

"I can just imagine what they're italking about." Hermione said to Harry and Ron, nodding toward Malfoy.

Dumbledore cleared his throat, making the students quiet down immediately. "Seated next to Professor Trelawney is our final guest, Elias Snape. He will be visting Professor Snape for a month or two, and as a relative of a professor I expect him to be treated with the utmost respect."

Througout the hall hushed whispers broke out as Dumbledore paused.

"Whoa. Snape has family."

"That is beyond strange."

"Think they're brothers?"

"Dunno. They look it."

"Now, I believe it is time to head on to class. Chop chop!" Dumbledore finished.

The students groaned. (Except Hermione, who was already halfway across the hall.) Harry and Ron quickly hurried after their friend.

--------

"I hear he's his cousin twice removed on Professor Snape's mother's side."

"Well, I heard he's his long lost son."

"What? There's no way. They look the same age!"

Hrry turned to see who was whispering. A few seats behind him Pansy and Milicent Bulstrode looked up and glared at him. "See something interesting, Potter?" Pansy called.

"Depends on what you consider interesting, Parkinson." Harry called back sweetly.

A few seats over, Draco sneered and replied, "Fraternizing with the enemy? Honestly, what will everyone think of precious Potter?"

"Lo-"

"Mr. Potter. I was under the assumption there was to be no talking unless it was class-related." Snape interrupted, slamming the classroom door shut with a loud bang. "If I have been wrong, do tell me. I would not want to cause our famous Mr. Potter any discomfort."

Harry gritted his teeth, fighting back a retort. Nearby Draco hid his smirk behind his hand. Snape glared at Harry as he passed, continuing, "Five points from Gryffindor for your blatant disobediance of class rules."

Ron nudged Harry and mouthed 'bastard'. Hermione glared at him. Ron simply glared back.

"Now, today we will be making-- or in some cases, attempting-- a simple healing solution, commonly known as a farmakon." Snape began, smirking at Neville Longbottom's fearful expression. "I expect a small of sample by the end of the period."- Here Blaise Zabini raised her hand, but was interrupted by Snape, who continued, "And no, Mrs. Zabini, whatever you are about to say will not convince me to give you extra time to complete the assignment."

Blaise cursed quietly. Snape merely smirked and waved his wand at the board behind him, quickly copying the day's instructions onto the board. "You have forty-five minutes." He said menacingly.

--------

"Was it supposed to be blue, you think?" Ron asked as he, Harry, and Hermione made their way to Transfiguration.

Harry sighed. "I hope not, considering mine came out green."

Ron looked at Hermione. "What 'bout you, Herm? Perfect as usual?"

Hermione shrugged her shoulders. "It came out okay."

Harry smiled at her and replied, "Which, of course, means it came out perfectly and you're too damned shy to say so."

"Really, Harry, you know me better than I do. It's downright odd." Hermione shot back, smiling at him.

"Yeah, it's a talent of mine... ." Harry laughed.

Ron rolled his eyes good-naturedly. "Along with your thirty-seven hundred other talents."

Harry was about to reply when a poster tacked up on the wall outside the Infirmary caught his eye. "Hey, look at this."

The poster was large and a bright pink that reminded them of the infamous Valentine's day incindent in their second year. Scrawled across it in large, swirly letters were the words, "Aprreciate fine-looking and intelligent men? Or even men with that certain mysterious something? Come join H.E.A.R.T.S.- the Hogwarts Appreiciation Society for The Other Snape."

All three looked at each other bemusedly. "Okay, this is just weird." Harry said. "I mean, a fanclub for the Metatron? They don't even know him!"

Ron shrugged. "Must be a girl thing. And at least it's not a fanclub for you."

Hermione, ever observant, said, "Their acronym doesn't even make sense."

Harry and Ron looked at Hermione and then at the poster. "Well, yes," Ron said, "but that's not the point, Herm."

"Yeah, it's more of the whole 'group-perving-over-a-really-old-angel' that is so weird." Harry said blandly. "I think the whole acronym thing is a moot point."

"Yes, but they could've at least come up with a better name." Hermione replied. She waved her hand at the poster's wrting as if to emphasize her point. She was about to continue when the late bell rang. She jumped and exclaimed, "Now we're late! Professor McGonagall'll probably take of points too!"

Without waiting for her firends she took off running. Harry and Ron watched her go and then turned to look at each other. "Y'know, Harry, sometimes I don't see how we ever stayed friends with her." Ron said quizzically.

Harry laughed and shrugged. "More of I don't see how she stay friends with us."

"Yeah."

For a few minutes neither of them spoke. As they were passing Flitwick's classroom, Ron asked, "So.... how many points ya think McGonagall'll take off this time?"

"I'd rather not think about it."



AN: Okay, Ron didn't ask Herm out, simply b/c I couldn't think of a way to work it into this chapter. It will be in the next chapter (I Promise!), which is when stuff should begin to get relatively exciting. I'm trying to make this story a bit more serious, since I don't really like the characterization of a few characters (read: Harry) in the beginning chapters. And, once again, I apologize for the incredible wait for this chapter. I have seriously got to set deadlines for this story from now on. ;)

To all my loyal and ever patient reviewers: thank you for being such good people. And for reviewing, and never giving up hope that I would update, even though I did for awhile. Thank you, thank you, thank you!



BTW, constructive criticism is always appreciated. Snape too soft? Harry going dumb? Just tell me, and I'll try my best to fix it. :)