*******
I sat in the chair, waiting for reality to hit, still waiting to wake up, or him to wake up. My tears wouldn't stop, but they were silent, I was silent. Slowly, I knew I had to leave, I inched my chair away from the bed and let go of his hand, feeling his skin on mine for the last time. I stumbled to my feet, trying to find my balance. I ran my hand through his silver hair, feeling how lifeless he felt. He was really pale, but I guess you can't really expect anything else, can you... considering his condition. I pulled away from the bedside and headed to the door. I slowly pushed it open and held the wall tightly with my left hand. I let out a loud sob as Sora approached me and I ran into him, falling into his embrace, wrapping my arms around his waist. He held me tightly, rocking me back and forth, my sobbing only got louder. I couldn't speak, I felt so numb, it didn't seem real anymore, none of this seemed real.
I heard some people enter the room as Sora pulled me away. I had to get out of here, this place; I never wanted to see a hospital for the rest of my life.
Sora led me to the waiting room where we met Riku's mom, Sora's mom, and my mom. I watched as Sora's mom went to hug him and my I stepped up, giving my mom a quick hug. I looked down to the floor and noticed that I was trembling, but I wasn't cold at all. I refused to look at anyone as I horridly wiped the tears from my face.
-If you two don't mind, the three of us are planning to stay the night at Rik... at Mrs. (What the heck is Riku's last name!!!)'s house. You think maybe you could stay with Kairi? Sora's mom questioned him. I'd like that, I really would. Sora nodded and so did his mom. –Oh yeah, and I'll drive you home, said his mom sternly. I could tell Sora wanted to laugh, but he couldn't.
-We'll be staying here, to work out some things, said my mom. Really, my mom. Of all people it should have been Sora's mom, but I didn't question it. I followed Sora, as he followed his mom, to the two, large, mechanically opening glass doors that led out to the parking lot. When I first stepped outside it felt like a slap in the face. The wind was fighting harshly, whisping my hair around, even knocking me around. I grabbed Sora's hand and accidentally reached to my left, as I forgot that Riku wasn't there. Now my left hand was lonely again, only this time it wasn't going to last for only two days. I sighed as I tucked my left hand into a pocket and settled it there. Now I was shivering for a reason, but it was confusing, it was never cold here. Sometimes it was cool, but never cold.
We got into the car and I watched as the hospital backed out of sight, as I physically became further away from Riku, physically and mentally. I guess I must have been really tired because I fell asleep on the way. My head fell onto Sora's shoulder and I fell asleep instantly. This was a good thing though, because heaven knows that it usually takes hours for me to fall asleep after something big has happened and I can't get the thoughts out of my head.
The next thing that I remember is waking up in Sora's bed. I looked around as I noticed I was in his room, no question. I slowly began to sit up, my head hurt and I have no idea why. It was probably from crying so much. I was still in my dress, I wanted to get out of it, to throw it on the ground and step on it, but I restrained from doing that... especially considering the fact that this was not my house, nor my room. I walked over to the door, naturally knowing where it was even though it was dark. I stepped out into a light filled hallway. I walked down it and descended a flight of stairs and found myself standing in the kitchen. I saw Sora lying on the couch, I could tell he had been crying because his eyes were red and his face was dry (as in he was rubbing it...). I slowly advanced into the kitchen without him noticing that I was there and I aimlessly walked over to the table. On it sat a bag, with my clothes in it?
-Oh, your mom dropped that off, he said in a weak tone. I nodded and picked the bag up. I suppose that changing now is better than later. I walked over to the bathroom and I could feel his eyes on my as I shut the door. I changed into a pair of black sweatpants and a red tank top; I slipped on a red sweater and carelessly shoved my dress into the bag. I walked back to the couch and sat down next to him. We were silent for a few moments, nothing to say. Sora had changed into a pair of jeans and a black sweatshirt. I let out a large sigh.
-What time is it? I questioned as I looked down at the coffee table.
-1:30, he replied like it was 1:30 in the afternoon, not at night. My eyes grew wide; I had been sleeping for a good few hours. I yawned, I was still tired. –Why don't you go back to bed? Sora suggested. I shook my head.
-I'm not... Tired, I lied suppressing another yawn.
-Yes you are, Sora replied as he examined his own fingers. I couldn't help the fact that I wanted to sleep, that I wanted to die even. I closed my eyes and leaned onto Sora's shoulder again, just like in the car. This time I did it totally on accident, completely.
Sora leaned back onto the couch, falling down as he lifted his legs off of the floor and put them behind me. I fell back onto him, my head falling right on his chest. I felt him take a deep breath and then he reached up and turned off the light on the side table. The room went completely dark except for the light of the moon streaming in from the window above the couch. It made eerie shadows across his living room. I closed my eyes for good this time and began to drift off into another dreamless sleep. He reached an arm across my stomach, but for some reason, I didn't mind it, I liked it. I laced my fingers through his, I loved Sora so much, he couldn't imagine. He was my comfort object and I never wanted to leave his side ever again. Now that Riku was gone, I needed someone to be my left and right, I needed someone to be my two best friends, I needed Sora, but I need Sora to be Riku too.
-Never leave me Sora, I whispered, not entirely meaning to say that out loud, but oh well.
-I won't, he said quietly in my ear. I smiled, a microscopic smile, but a smile nonetheless.
***
The next morning I woke up, still in the same spot, still on top of the same sleeping person. I kept my eyes closed, I wanted to fall back asleep, but I couldn't. The early day sunlight bled in through my eyes lids. I slowly blinked my eyes open and saw a completely illuminated room. I looked down at my hand, still laced through Sora's. His grip was so loose that I don't think it would even be considered a grip at all. I felt the steady pace of his breathing and heard him almost silently snoring. Usually I hate it when people snore, but it was almost comforting hearing it from him. I tightened my grip on his hand and I felt him squeeze back, maybe he was awake too.
-Sora? I questioned in a whisper. I felt him move a little from under me.
-Yea... he replied softly. I didn't say anything, wondering what he was thinking about.
We stayed where we were, in silence for a few more minutes, almost thirty minutes actually, I was really quite comfortable. I sat up; his hand ran down to my waist as he pulled it away.
-Are you hungry? He asked, looking up at me. I shook my head, I couldn't eat, and I wouldn't be surprised if I never ate anything again. He sighed and sat up too.
What a turn for the worst.
Suddenly the front door swung open. I was half expecting it to be the wind. I suppose it still could have been the wind if the wind had unusually taken the form of a girl wearing a yellow dress. What the heck was I thinking? I think I am going crazy, delirious maybe.
-Hi, Kairi... Your mom said that I would find you here. Hi Sora... So what's up you guys, I tried calling you about a million times last night! The dance was canceled after you left and everyone went home. I wanted to go to the hospital and stuff, but my parents weren't home. I was worried sick! So how's Riku? She questioned out of breath taking a seat on the chair next to the couch. Dear god, she didn't know? Word usually travels fast on this island... How could she not know!?! I looked to the floor, not wanting to answer her question. Sora was silent too and Selphie's face was getting worried. –That bad... huh? She questioned. Obviously she still didn't quite understand and I could feel my eyes nearly drowning in tears just thinking about it. I quickly tried to wipe them away, but Selphie noticed before I got a chance to. –Is he still... He didn't...? I nodded slowly. Selphie gasped and I could see her lean back into the chair out of the corner of my eye.
I didn't like where this conversation was heading, I didn't want to talk about it. I still wasn't ready to let go, I was still half expecting him to be at home, in his bed, I don't really know. It was like last night was just a bad dream and now I have a new day to start over. It's Friday again... it has to be!
-I'm sure you two don't want to talk about it, huh? She questioned sadly. I shook my head and could tell that out of the corner of my eye, Sora was shaking his head too. The three of us sat there for a few moments in silence. It is amazing how a lifetime can end so quickly, how the greatest day of your life can easily turn into the worst. Why today, why not tomorrow... yesterday was when forever ended, our worlds came to a complete stop and I had no idea how to even begin to start it back up again. He had so much to live for, he had his future planned out, and he knew what he wanted. Why did fate choose him? Why not me, someone as useless as me deserves to die, but Riku didn't. Sometimes fate has its tricky was of playing with us. All I ask is why did it have to play this hard, why did it have to end this way? I think that we can all agree that fate got a little carried away this time, and there was nothing that anyone can do to change that. This isn't something that can be fixed. There's a permanent hole in my heart and it doesn't seem to want to heal. Relationships I can deal with, but I had never met death before. I don't think that I like it very much, because it's so irreversible. There is no antidote for my pain and I don't think it's only temporary because this is something that I'll have to live with for the rest of my life. But at least I still had a life... At least I get to watch the sunset just once more... at least I still had Sora, and he wasn't leaving me, I wouldn't let him.
I sat in the chair, waiting for reality to hit, still waiting to wake up, or him to wake up. My tears wouldn't stop, but they were silent, I was silent. Slowly, I knew I had to leave, I inched my chair away from the bed and let go of his hand, feeling his skin on mine for the last time. I stumbled to my feet, trying to find my balance. I ran my hand through his silver hair, feeling how lifeless he felt. He was really pale, but I guess you can't really expect anything else, can you... considering his condition. I pulled away from the bedside and headed to the door. I slowly pushed it open and held the wall tightly with my left hand. I let out a loud sob as Sora approached me and I ran into him, falling into his embrace, wrapping my arms around his waist. He held me tightly, rocking me back and forth, my sobbing only got louder. I couldn't speak, I felt so numb, it didn't seem real anymore, none of this seemed real.
I heard some people enter the room as Sora pulled me away. I had to get out of here, this place; I never wanted to see a hospital for the rest of my life.
Sora led me to the waiting room where we met Riku's mom, Sora's mom, and my mom. I watched as Sora's mom went to hug him and my I stepped up, giving my mom a quick hug. I looked down to the floor and noticed that I was trembling, but I wasn't cold at all. I refused to look at anyone as I horridly wiped the tears from my face.
-If you two don't mind, the three of us are planning to stay the night at Rik... at Mrs. (What the heck is Riku's last name!!!)'s house. You think maybe you could stay with Kairi? Sora's mom questioned him. I'd like that, I really would. Sora nodded and so did his mom. –Oh yeah, and I'll drive you home, said his mom sternly. I could tell Sora wanted to laugh, but he couldn't.
-We'll be staying here, to work out some things, said my mom. Really, my mom. Of all people it should have been Sora's mom, but I didn't question it. I followed Sora, as he followed his mom, to the two, large, mechanically opening glass doors that led out to the parking lot. When I first stepped outside it felt like a slap in the face. The wind was fighting harshly, whisping my hair around, even knocking me around. I grabbed Sora's hand and accidentally reached to my left, as I forgot that Riku wasn't there. Now my left hand was lonely again, only this time it wasn't going to last for only two days. I sighed as I tucked my left hand into a pocket and settled it there. Now I was shivering for a reason, but it was confusing, it was never cold here. Sometimes it was cool, but never cold.
We got into the car and I watched as the hospital backed out of sight, as I physically became further away from Riku, physically and mentally. I guess I must have been really tired because I fell asleep on the way. My head fell onto Sora's shoulder and I fell asleep instantly. This was a good thing though, because heaven knows that it usually takes hours for me to fall asleep after something big has happened and I can't get the thoughts out of my head.
The next thing that I remember is waking up in Sora's bed. I looked around as I noticed I was in his room, no question. I slowly began to sit up, my head hurt and I have no idea why. It was probably from crying so much. I was still in my dress, I wanted to get out of it, to throw it on the ground and step on it, but I restrained from doing that... especially considering the fact that this was not my house, nor my room. I walked over to the door, naturally knowing where it was even though it was dark. I stepped out into a light filled hallway. I walked down it and descended a flight of stairs and found myself standing in the kitchen. I saw Sora lying on the couch, I could tell he had been crying because his eyes were red and his face was dry (as in he was rubbing it...). I slowly advanced into the kitchen without him noticing that I was there and I aimlessly walked over to the table. On it sat a bag, with my clothes in it?
-Oh, your mom dropped that off, he said in a weak tone. I nodded and picked the bag up. I suppose that changing now is better than later. I walked over to the bathroom and I could feel his eyes on my as I shut the door. I changed into a pair of black sweatpants and a red tank top; I slipped on a red sweater and carelessly shoved my dress into the bag. I walked back to the couch and sat down next to him. We were silent for a few moments, nothing to say. Sora had changed into a pair of jeans and a black sweatshirt. I let out a large sigh.
-What time is it? I questioned as I looked down at the coffee table.
-1:30, he replied like it was 1:30 in the afternoon, not at night. My eyes grew wide; I had been sleeping for a good few hours. I yawned, I was still tired. –Why don't you go back to bed? Sora suggested. I shook my head.
-I'm not... Tired, I lied suppressing another yawn.
-Yes you are, Sora replied as he examined his own fingers. I couldn't help the fact that I wanted to sleep, that I wanted to die even. I closed my eyes and leaned onto Sora's shoulder again, just like in the car. This time I did it totally on accident, completely.
Sora leaned back onto the couch, falling down as he lifted his legs off of the floor and put them behind me. I fell back onto him, my head falling right on his chest. I felt him take a deep breath and then he reached up and turned off the light on the side table. The room went completely dark except for the light of the moon streaming in from the window above the couch. It made eerie shadows across his living room. I closed my eyes for good this time and began to drift off into another dreamless sleep. He reached an arm across my stomach, but for some reason, I didn't mind it, I liked it. I laced my fingers through his, I loved Sora so much, he couldn't imagine. He was my comfort object and I never wanted to leave his side ever again. Now that Riku was gone, I needed someone to be my left and right, I needed someone to be my two best friends, I needed Sora, but I need Sora to be Riku too.
-Never leave me Sora, I whispered, not entirely meaning to say that out loud, but oh well.
-I won't, he said quietly in my ear. I smiled, a microscopic smile, but a smile nonetheless.
***
The next morning I woke up, still in the same spot, still on top of the same sleeping person. I kept my eyes closed, I wanted to fall back asleep, but I couldn't. The early day sunlight bled in through my eyes lids. I slowly blinked my eyes open and saw a completely illuminated room. I looked down at my hand, still laced through Sora's. His grip was so loose that I don't think it would even be considered a grip at all. I felt the steady pace of his breathing and heard him almost silently snoring. Usually I hate it when people snore, but it was almost comforting hearing it from him. I tightened my grip on his hand and I felt him squeeze back, maybe he was awake too.
-Sora? I questioned in a whisper. I felt him move a little from under me.
-Yea... he replied softly. I didn't say anything, wondering what he was thinking about.
We stayed where we were, in silence for a few more minutes, almost thirty minutes actually, I was really quite comfortable. I sat up; his hand ran down to my waist as he pulled it away.
-Are you hungry? He asked, looking up at me. I shook my head, I couldn't eat, and I wouldn't be surprised if I never ate anything again. He sighed and sat up too.
What a turn for the worst.
Suddenly the front door swung open. I was half expecting it to be the wind. I suppose it still could have been the wind if the wind had unusually taken the form of a girl wearing a yellow dress. What the heck was I thinking? I think I am going crazy, delirious maybe.
-Hi, Kairi... Your mom said that I would find you here. Hi Sora... So what's up you guys, I tried calling you about a million times last night! The dance was canceled after you left and everyone went home. I wanted to go to the hospital and stuff, but my parents weren't home. I was worried sick! So how's Riku? She questioned out of breath taking a seat on the chair next to the couch. Dear god, she didn't know? Word usually travels fast on this island... How could she not know!?! I looked to the floor, not wanting to answer her question. Sora was silent too and Selphie's face was getting worried. –That bad... huh? She questioned. Obviously she still didn't quite understand and I could feel my eyes nearly drowning in tears just thinking about it. I quickly tried to wipe them away, but Selphie noticed before I got a chance to. –Is he still... He didn't...? I nodded slowly. Selphie gasped and I could see her lean back into the chair out of the corner of my eye.
I didn't like where this conversation was heading, I didn't want to talk about it. I still wasn't ready to let go, I was still half expecting him to be at home, in his bed, I don't really know. It was like last night was just a bad dream and now I have a new day to start over. It's Friday again... it has to be!
-I'm sure you two don't want to talk about it, huh? She questioned sadly. I shook my head and could tell that out of the corner of my eye, Sora was shaking his head too. The three of us sat there for a few moments in silence. It is amazing how a lifetime can end so quickly, how the greatest day of your life can easily turn into the worst. Why today, why not tomorrow... yesterday was when forever ended, our worlds came to a complete stop and I had no idea how to even begin to start it back up again. He had so much to live for, he had his future planned out, and he knew what he wanted. Why did fate choose him? Why not me, someone as useless as me deserves to die, but Riku didn't. Sometimes fate has its tricky was of playing with us. All I ask is why did it have to play this hard, why did it have to end this way? I think that we can all agree that fate got a little carried away this time, and there was nothing that anyone can do to change that. This isn't something that can be fixed. There's a permanent hole in my heart and it doesn't seem to want to heal. Relationships I can deal with, but I had never met death before. I don't think that I like it very much, because it's so irreversible. There is no antidote for my pain and I don't think it's only temporary because this is something that I'll have to live with for the rest of my life. But at least I still had a life... At least I get to watch the sunset just once more... at least I still had Sora, and he wasn't leaving me, I wouldn't let him.
