(A/N) I know... the swearing... But I can't help it... BLAME ADRIENNE!!!
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We got into the car and Sora began driving. We passed the church, and I almost thought that he had forgotten to stop, but no, he did it purposely. He drove down a familiar road and stopped in a sandy area on the side of the street. He got out of the car and I followed him. He grabbed my hand and led me down to the dock. He swiftly untied the rowboat and jumped in it. I followed him as he began rowing. We rowed over to the island and he didn't even bother tying up the boat when we got there, he just dragged it onto the shore and began walking along the beach. He just kept walking, silently going nowhere.
-Sora...? I questioned as I fell behind. He stopped and I stopped too. I stared at his back, waiting to see what he was going to do. He turned around and looked at me, deep into my eyes, and you know what he did? He started laughing. My eyes grew wide in confusion. What the hell was so funny? He continued laughing as he looked up at the sky and then over at the ocean. The rain had stopped and a warm breeze met the air.
-He's gone Kairi, he's really fucking gone, Sora laughed. I think he's going hysterical. –Don't you get it? He's just gone! Sora shouted. He laughed a little more and then he turned around and began walking. He was laughing almost silently. I followed him slowly.
-Sora...? I questioned again. Something inside of him must have snapped. He turned around again, right in my face. –I think you've lost it... I said lightly almost laughing myself.
-No... No... he said again. He smiled now and closed his eyes. I don't know what I was thinking, but I slowly wrapped my arms around his neck and felt him take my waist in his hands as he pulled me up closer to him and we kissed. We kissed for what seemed like forever, just standing there lost inside of each other. I was in love with him; I was so much in love with him that the feeling was so normal, I had forgotten. I had simply forgotten, but it was all back now, hitting me so hard that I almost fell over. I could feel my legs almost collapse under the pressure. We both pulled away and I looked into his eyes. A smile stretched across his face and he looked up, over my head and laughed again. Then he took me in his arms, pulling me so close to him that I almost couldn't breath. I held on to him tightly, cutting off my own circulation by holding my arms so close together. –I've found it Kairi... he whispered in my ear. I smiled and I never wanted to let go of him, I don't think I'd be able to. He tried pulling away but I grabbed him and kissed him again. It felt so good, just to know that I had Sora completely; I knew that he would never leave me. It had always been Sora, ever since the beginning, it had always been him. I knew that even though I loved Riku endlessly, that he was gone. His memory is all that I have, and I can live with that. I can live with just Sora, because I still had Riku. I will always have Riku, even though Riku doesn't have me. He can't have me, because he knew that Sora had me. Somehow I think we've always known that. This is how I think it was always going to turn out, and I think Riku knew that. That was the reason Riku resented Sora so much, because he knew that he was going to end up with me. But he didn't get the short straw; this is all he ever wanted... right? He has my happiness, and he has the freedom from the life that he was so much better than; He deserved so much better than all of this. He deserved better than me.
What was this feeling that was flowing through my every thought? It was so bizarre, I can't even think of how to begin describing it. It was kind if like the simplicity of starting over, only this time, I knew that it would last. Nothing could go wrong because everything was just too perfect. And I didn't feel guilty, that was the weird part. I mean, Riku gave up his life, he gave up me, just so I could be happy... now why didn't I feel just a little bit guilty? I thanked god, I thanked fate, whatever the hell did this... I thanked Riku. I wanted to cry and fall down. No... I just wanted Sora, that was all I ever wanted. I wanted this feeling, and I had it. I had everything. So this was just like the perfect moment in my life that canceled out every other perfect moment, because they really weren't perfect... I didn't know what perfect was then. But right now, I didn't want anything. I was so completely satisfied with everything that there was nothing I wanted, nothing I needed. There was nothing in the world that I didn't have... nothing more to say.
-I love you Sora, I whispered.
-I know Kairi... for once, I know it, he replied. I felt him begin to move forward and I tried to stop him.
-I don't want to go, I said lightly as I stopped moving and looked him straight in the eye. –Please... let's run away, just the two of us.
-We have nowhere to go...
-That's the whole point; I wavered.
-We can't just leave... he exclaimed.
-Why not? I questioned.
-We have to go back Kairi... what, they'll think we got abducted or something, Sora laughed. –Now come on, he insisted as he tried moving ahead, but I challenged his stare and stopped again. Sora sighed and lifted me up in his arms.
-Hey... Now that's not fair! Put me down! I exclaimed.
-No, he responded as he carried me across the beach.
-Awe... Put me down! I shouted. He set me down and I followed him back to the car. We drove back to his house to find that everyone had gone there after the church. I spent the rest of the night in happy company. I even realized that I was quite hungry and had 'some' food. This was it, the end was over... I was free.
***
This time the toughest chapter in my life was ended for sure, I could really feel it. And I was right. I healed, I let go, it was tough and it killed me, but I said goodbye. The memories of him can't leave; I don't know how to let them go. Sometimes I'll cry, sometimes I'll get mad, but then everything just fades when Sora's there. He helped me silently, he was solely mine and I knew it.
Riku was always there, in the sky, the ocean, the wind. All I had to do was close my eyes and there he was. The sound of his voice and the feeling of his hand in mine, that was all there.
Sometimes fate has its tricky ways of teaching us and even though it seems like it gets carried away sometimes, the end knows best. Everything will ultimately become clear. Every foggy day subsides, every rainstorm passes eventually. Time will always be there, time is what allows us to heal and to let go. A new day will come and the sun will always rise again. Just because you've lost touch with yourself and your life has been completely shattered before you that doesn't mean miracles don't exist, that doesn't mean that you should give up hope and lose your faith. Just take a moment to look up at the sky and breath. Happiness is the one thing in life you need to hold on to. Once you've got it, never let go, because happiness is what causes us to think, it's what makes us believe, it allows us to live again, to move on.
I think that I found the miracle that I had been searching for. What I didn't realize was that it was right there in front of me the entire time. I was just too blind to see it, too numb to feel it. I was so caught up in my own pathetic feelings to realize that I was letting my entire life just pass me by and I paid the ultimate price for missing it. But I knew that Riku forgave me, I knew that this was what he wanted.
All I ever truly wanted was to find myself, because that was really what I had been searching for this whole time. But by finding Sora, I had found myself, because he had me, he had always had me. It wasn't Riku after all. I was finally home and I had finally forgiven fate. I no longer had a reason to be angry at life.
I promised Riku that I would love him forever, and I will never let go of that promise. But I can't help but wish for that extra day, just one more night, to say goodbye.
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(A/N) OMG *tear* WAHHHHHH! IT'S OVER!!! I think I'm going to die... Please don't kill me. No, that last chapter was not just a stupid pun to just get it over and done with, I sincerely felt that. I'd just like to say, I have no idea which part of me was out the day I wrote this... It definitely wasn't Erin, and it wasn't Adrienne, nor was it Dicey... hmmm, I suppose it was Loki. But I have never had Loki write anything before... Odd, she's just usually my disclaimer girl and the person who leave reviews... But never has she written before!!! That's cool! Let's all give a hand to Loki *applause*. Well, I really hope that you enjoyed this story. I would like to know just one thing though... which story to finish next? Please review me with an answer because I have no idea which one you guys want me to finish. I'm pretty sure that you'll say that one that I left on that horrible cliffhanger... Oh well... I think I want to finish 'Till Death do us part'... after all, that was the one that I started first. But of course, if I ever finish that, I'll be far too sad because it was my first ever... my wittle baby... Oh well. I'll miss author noting you guys, even though you never read them. I think it's very important for the author to get in touch with the reader on a different level then just... I donno... writing. Have fun wit life okies? - *always* Lei ^_~
*******
We got into the car and Sora began driving. We passed the church, and I almost thought that he had forgotten to stop, but no, he did it purposely. He drove down a familiar road and stopped in a sandy area on the side of the street. He got out of the car and I followed him. He grabbed my hand and led me down to the dock. He swiftly untied the rowboat and jumped in it. I followed him as he began rowing. We rowed over to the island and he didn't even bother tying up the boat when we got there, he just dragged it onto the shore and began walking along the beach. He just kept walking, silently going nowhere.
-Sora...? I questioned as I fell behind. He stopped and I stopped too. I stared at his back, waiting to see what he was going to do. He turned around and looked at me, deep into my eyes, and you know what he did? He started laughing. My eyes grew wide in confusion. What the hell was so funny? He continued laughing as he looked up at the sky and then over at the ocean. The rain had stopped and a warm breeze met the air.
-He's gone Kairi, he's really fucking gone, Sora laughed. I think he's going hysterical. –Don't you get it? He's just gone! Sora shouted. He laughed a little more and then he turned around and began walking. He was laughing almost silently. I followed him slowly.
-Sora...? I questioned again. Something inside of him must have snapped. He turned around again, right in my face. –I think you've lost it... I said lightly almost laughing myself.
-No... No... he said again. He smiled now and closed his eyes. I don't know what I was thinking, but I slowly wrapped my arms around his neck and felt him take my waist in his hands as he pulled me up closer to him and we kissed. We kissed for what seemed like forever, just standing there lost inside of each other. I was in love with him; I was so much in love with him that the feeling was so normal, I had forgotten. I had simply forgotten, but it was all back now, hitting me so hard that I almost fell over. I could feel my legs almost collapse under the pressure. We both pulled away and I looked into his eyes. A smile stretched across his face and he looked up, over my head and laughed again. Then he took me in his arms, pulling me so close to him that I almost couldn't breath. I held on to him tightly, cutting off my own circulation by holding my arms so close together. –I've found it Kairi... he whispered in my ear. I smiled and I never wanted to let go of him, I don't think I'd be able to. He tried pulling away but I grabbed him and kissed him again. It felt so good, just to know that I had Sora completely; I knew that he would never leave me. It had always been Sora, ever since the beginning, it had always been him. I knew that even though I loved Riku endlessly, that he was gone. His memory is all that I have, and I can live with that. I can live with just Sora, because I still had Riku. I will always have Riku, even though Riku doesn't have me. He can't have me, because he knew that Sora had me. Somehow I think we've always known that. This is how I think it was always going to turn out, and I think Riku knew that. That was the reason Riku resented Sora so much, because he knew that he was going to end up with me. But he didn't get the short straw; this is all he ever wanted... right? He has my happiness, and he has the freedom from the life that he was so much better than; He deserved so much better than all of this. He deserved better than me.
What was this feeling that was flowing through my every thought? It was so bizarre, I can't even think of how to begin describing it. It was kind if like the simplicity of starting over, only this time, I knew that it would last. Nothing could go wrong because everything was just too perfect. And I didn't feel guilty, that was the weird part. I mean, Riku gave up his life, he gave up me, just so I could be happy... now why didn't I feel just a little bit guilty? I thanked god, I thanked fate, whatever the hell did this... I thanked Riku. I wanted to cry and fall down. No... I just wanted Sora, that was all I ever wanted. I wanted this feeling, and I had it. I had everything. So this was just like the perfect moment in my life that canceled out every other perfect moment, because they really weren't perfect... I didn't know what perfect was then. But right now, I didn't want anything. I was so completely satisfied with everything that there was nothing I wanted, nothing I needed. There was nothing in the world that I didn't have... nothing more to say.
-I love you Sora, I whispered.
-I know Kairi... for once, I know it, he replied. I felt him begin to move forward and I tried to stop him.
-I don't want to go, I said lightly as I stopped moving and looked him straight in the eye. –Please... let's run away, just the two of us.
-We have nowhere to go...
-That's the whole point; I wavered.
-We can't just leave... he exclaimed.
-Why not? I questioned.
-We have to go back Kairi... what, they'll think we got abducted or something, Sora laughed. –Now come on, he insisted as he tried moving ahead, but I challenged his stare and stopped again. Sora sighed and lifted me up in his arms.
-Hey... Now that's not fair! Put me down! I exclaimed.
-No, he responded as he carried me across the beach.
-Awe... Put me down! I shouted. He set me down and I followed him back to the car. We drove back to his house to find that everyone had gone there after the church. I spent the rest of the night in happy company. I even realized that I was quite hungry and had 'some' food. This was it, the end was over... I was free.
***
This time the toughest chapter in my life was ended for sure, I could really feel it. And I was right. I healed, I let go, it was tough and it killed me, but I said goodbye. The memories of him can't leave; I don't know how to let them go. Sometimes I'll cry, sometimes I'll get mad, but then everything just fades when Sora's there. He helped me silently, he was solely mine and I knew it.
Riku was always there, in the sky, the ocean, the wind. All I had to do was close my eyes and there he was. The sound of his voice and the feeling of his hand in mine, that was all there.
Sometimes fate has its tricky ways of teaching us and even though it seems like it gets carried away sometimes, the end knows best. Everything will ultimately become clear. Every foggy day subsides, every rainstorm passes eventually. Time will always be there, time is what allows us to heal and to let go. A new day will come and the sun will always rise again. Just because you've lost touch with yourself and your life has been completely shattered before you that doesn't mean miracles don't exist, that doesn't mean that you should give up hope and lose your faith. Just take a moment to look up at the sky and breath. Happiness is the one thing in life you need to hold on to. Once you've got it, never let go, because happiness is what causes us to think, it's what makes us believe, it allows us to live again, to move on.
I think that I found the miracle that I had been searching for. What I didn't realize was that it was right there in front of me the entire time. I was just too blind to see it, too numb to feel it. I was so caught up in my own pathetic feelings to realize that I was letting my entire life just pass me by and I paid the ultimate price for missing it. But I knew that Riku forgave me, I knew that this was what he wanted.
All I ever truly wanted was to find myself, because that was really what I had been searching for this whole time. But by finding Sora, I had found myself, because he had me, he had always had me. It wasn't Riku after all. I was finally home and I had finally forgiven fate. I no longer had a reason to be angry at life.
I promised Riku that I would love him forever, and I will never let go of that promise. But I can't help but wish for that extra day, just one more night, to say goodbye.
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(A/N) OMG *tear* WAHHHHHH! IT'S OVER!!! I think I'm going to die... Please don't kill me. No, that last chapter was not just a stupid pun to just get it over and done with, I sincerely felt that. I'd just like to say, I have no idea which part of me was out the day I wrote this... It definitely wasn't Erin, and it wasn't Adrienne, nor was it Dicey... hmmm, I suppose it was Loki. But I have never had Loki write anything before... Odd, she's just usually my disclaimer girl and the person who leave reviews... But never has she written before!!! That's cool! Let's all give a hand to Loki *applause*. Well, I really hope that you enjoyed this story. I would like to know just one thing though... which story to finish next? Please review me with an answer because I have no idea which one you guys want me to finish. I'm pretty sure that you'll say that one that I left on that horrible cliffhanger... Oh well... I think I want to finish 'Till Death do us part'... after all, that was the one that I started first. But of course, if I ever finish that, I'll be far too sad because it was my first ever... my wittle baby... Oh well. I'll miss author noting you guys, even though you never read them. I think it's very important for the author to get in touch with the reader on a different level then just... I donno... writing. Have fun wit life okies? - *always* Lei ^_~
