Without You
By LD
GW Fanfic
Author's note: If you ever get a chance, read a fic called "A Good Catholic
Boy" by an author named Lonewolf. It's really really good.
Warnings: Stuff happens
XXXXXX
It's raining again. How depressing. I turn over in bed to look at the wall
instead. Its stupid flower print paper (Quatre's choice) drives me to look at
the ceiling instead. Ah, nice. No one's managed to ruin its smoothe, blank
cherrywood beams.
Somehow, none of it seems to bug me when he's here.
I drag myself out of bed sometime around one and pop into the kitchen
where Quatre and Trowa are enjoying what a few moments ago was alone time.
"Oooooh. Can I play too?" I ask from behind them. They didn't even notice me
walk in, and they instantly jump apart. I grin at them.
"Er... Hello, Duo." Quatre tries to sound cheery, but I know he's secretly a
bit miffed at having been caught.
"Oh, come on guys... It's nothing I haven't seen before..."
Quatre asumes, and correctly so, that I'm referring to myself and Heero.
Trowa blushes, and I remember the pictures I have hidden in my room. Anytime
I feel like going out and no one else wants to, Trowa goes. Quatre thinks
he's being nice. Trowa doesn't dare tell him the real reason.
Have to stop thinking about those pictures. Heero won't be back for another
two days. Not that he would mind my taking it out on someone else. It's an
unsaid agreement of ours. If one of us isn't around, and they find someone
else to spend the night with, it's cool. But it's just not the same...
"So what are the plans today?" I ask, sliding into a chair and taking some
coffee. I don't care what Heero says, I still think it's much better than
that nasty green goo he drinks.
"Well, Trowa and I were going to... Um... Go somewhere."
I'm spacing out, thinking about Heero, so it takes me a moment to compute
what he said.
"Wait a minute..." I stop crunching toast. "You're going to leave me by
myself?"
I really don't think it would be all that bad. More time to search for more
dirt on Trowa, but being all by myself doesn't sound like much fun.
"Er... Well, WuFei's here..."
I give him a look. WuFei, Mr.Justice? What fun am I supposed to have with
him?
"Well, we're off then!" Trowa sounds cheery, and doesn't look me in the eyes
at first. When he does, it's a sort of pleading "have mercy just this once"
look, and I feel sorry for the poor guy.
"Allright..."
Quatre looks relieved that I've accepted their plans.
"So where is Wu-Man?" I ask, munching on my toast once more.
"In his room. We'll be back late tonight... Maybe in the morning. My sister
wants us to stop by and you know how she is..."
I nod absently, trying to think of something WuFei might not entirely
disaprove of. Nothing outside because of the rain. Board games are out. I
can't stand the superior looks he gives me when he wins... Which he always
does. Clubbing later is definately out. Not only would I have to listen
to his protests all the way there, but WuFei drunk in a public place isn't
fun. And he doesn't dance anyway, so it would basically be a big waste of
time and liquor. There's nothing else within walking distance. Heero and
Quatre are the only ones with cars since that stupid bastard ran over my
motorcycle. Anything that could be classified as "gay" is probably out as
well. I can't see Mr.Justice consenting to playing Truth or Dare and eating
pizza.
Actually, I can, and it makes me giggle.
Maybe it's not even such a bad idea...
And I just remembered WuFei's new car.
XXXXXX
"Peekaboo!"
I never figured WuFei the type to sleep in half the day until I had to live
with him.
My precautions in being extra super quiet sneaking into his room are rewarded
as WuFei jerks awake, hitting his head against mine. I don't mind. Quatre's
always said I have a thick skull, and I guess he's right. WuFei quickly
skoots away from me, clutching his forehead.
"Maxwell! What the hell are you doing in my room!?" He demands, making what
I've decided to refer to as cute little faces to annoy him. I'm not surprised
he's so upset. Those three bolts on his door were put there especially to
keep me out. What a sweet thought.
I sit back at the foot of the bed, watching him alternately glare at me and
rub his forehead.
"Quatre and Trowa went out for the day."
He stops his rubbing.
"Yuy's back?" He asks. I think there's almost a hopeful tone in it.
"Nope! But YOU get to spend the day with ME!"
He takes up glaring again.
"And WHY would I do that?"
I absently glance at the clock.
"Damn, it's late. You should be up by now."
"You're changing the subject. What devilish plan have you devised in your
demonic little head this time." He demands.
I pretend to look hurt. "Fei... Nothing bad at all!"
He doesn't believe me.
"Hm... You should see these interesting little magazines I found a little bit
ago. Comics too."
He flinches. Ha. Got him.
"And?"
"And... I believe they're yours. Some people we know might be very interested
in seeing them... Especially a certain General you seem to be getting along
with pretty well..."
If his looks from before could kill, this one would have made me into ashes.
"Are you blackmailing me, Maxwell?"
Duuuuuuuhhhhhh.
"That's not very nice. I'm just trying to make a little deal with you."
He seems to be thinking it over, and I wait for him to respond. My eyes
wander the room.
Hey! His room doesn't have that stupid wall...
"Fine. What is it you want."
"You have to spend time with me. Until I say you can go. And you have to do
whatever I want to do."
He nods slowly.
I guess Sally must really be someone special to him.
"Hm... First off, we're going to the store and getting a bottle of vodka, and
one of tequila..."
"Why."
"Uh uh uh... No questions!" I wave a finger in his face. "Now get dressed!"
XXXXXX
Hee hee hee! I can't believe this is working. Maybe Fei-Chan will be some fun
after all.
XXXXXX
I can't believe this is happening. I can't believe I'm actually driving this
long haired freak to and from the liquor store to buy his stupid drinks that
I know he'll make me join him in swallowing later.
"Okay, so now what."
And just to keep it from Sally.
"We're going to play a game!" He grins at me.
Honestly, it isn't as though she's my mother or something...
"What kind of game?"
Besides, they were presents from...
"Trust me it'll be fun."
XXXXXX
He's glaring at me again. We're back in the living room. I couldn't stand the
thought of having to look at our wallpaper when it wasn't necessary. As long
as Quatre and Trowa really do stay out late like they said they would, it
should be fine. WuFei doesn't have a TV in his room.
"Here, Fei-Chan. Have a drink."
"It's Chang. Not Fei-Chan, not Wu-Man, not Wuffie." But he takes the vodka
I hold out to him.
"Let's see..."
It's only five now. Just before dark. Movie time!
XXXXXX
Actually, this isn't so bad. We ordered pizza, and he's put in some movie
about a space princess or something, and a kid who wants to save the
universe. I must say, the kid has the right ideas. Too bad he whines so much.
He's cute, though.
I pause, my latest drink halfway to my mouth.
I just realized my thoughts have somehow switched from Luke Skywalker to Duo
Maxwell, whose eyes are avidly glued to the screen, and who currently is
chewing a bite of his pizza.
No no no no no. This is bad. Too much to drink.
For the record, yes, I basically am straight. It's not that I have anything
against gay guys. I just prefer girls. With the possible acception of him. I
really do believe I'm in love with Sally, but Duo... Duo is temptation
itself. He's irritating, and whiney, and takes far too many risks, and is
arrogant and a huge pain in the ass, but there's still something about him
that makes it possible for one to tolerate, and possibly even like him. I'm
not quite sure what that quality is. I've never been able to figure it out.
Maybe it's his innocence. Despite what he's been through, all of us have been
through, he still acts so childish. Quatre has had to explain so many
commonplace things to him over the time we've been together.
I mean, together in this house. Of course. What else could I mean?
God, I'm out of it. Why did I ever consent to drinking this stuff?
I down the magically appearing shot before Duo has time to notice my pause.
XXXXXX
I wonder how many times I've seen this. Let's see... Quatre first introduced
it to me... What was it... A year and a half ago. That seems about right.
And every other day in that time...
I look down at my glass.
Eh, who cares how many time I've watched Luke accidently make out with his
own sister?
I pour myself another drink.
And I chance a glance over in WuFei's direction in time to see him look away
from me. Good. My plan's working. The alcohol's getting to him, and he's
getting restless. Too bad it's getting to me more than I had planned. I hope
I can hold out longer. Trowa said he wasn't much of a drinker.
"Say... Wu-Man..." I drop my glass down onto the short den table stop.
"Chang." He mutters.
"Want to play a game now?" I ignore him intentionally.
He glances over at me, giving me a look.
"Truth or Dare." I state, pushing the power button to cut Leia off mid-diss.
"You can go first. And I know you know how to play, so don't even try to play
dumb."
"Er..." He's still not sure of himself, but I think the darkness of the room
helps a bit. At least, it's always seemed to calm most people down. I myself
would never be caught willingly alone in it. I have to keep a nightlight on
when Heero's gone. Too many demons from the past to plague me.
I wait for him to answer, and take the chance to study him up and down. He's
dressed in the white jacket and pants he's taken to wearing lately. A couple
buttons on the jacket are undone, and I can see a small bit of his flat
stomach. It's enough to turn me on, that's for sure, and on top of that, he's
sitting in such a vulnerable position, and the liquor has softened the harsh
expression that's usually on his face. I've managed to uncover the cute,
sensible Chang I've always known had to be there somewhere.
"Truth." He chances uncertainly. I understand his hesitation. He has no idea
what I might do to him, but if his past is even a quarter as bad as I know
mine was, he wouldn't want to relive that either.
"Hm... What's your favorite color?"
He looks surprised for a moment before answering.
"Blue."
"My turn! Um..."
I too choose truth, to go easy on him.
"Why are you with Heero?"
I blink. It's not a question I had been expecting from him. I had thought he
would either copy my question or ask something about my hair. He's always
complaining about how long my hair is.
"Because I love him." I say simply.
He nods.
We go on like that for a while, me asking simple questions, and him asking
about my love life. Poor guy must want all the advice he can get.
I grin to myself. I can certainly help with that.
At last he's comfortable enough to pick dare.
"I dare you to take your shirt off."
He blinks at me for a moment.
"Why..."
"Nuh uh, that's my dare!"
He gives me another glare, the first one I've gotten in the past few hours,
and pulls his shirt over his head. I lick my lips. Very nice.
He looks self conscious and folds his arms in front of his chest. It takes a
moment for me to notice the long scar he was attempting to conceal. I lean
forward and push his arms aside.
He tries to back away from me, but bumps up against the couch.
"Maxwell... What..."
"What's this?" I run a finger along the long healed cut. It's not like the
others. Burn scars I was expecting. Maybe even a few shallow flesh wounds.
He was into martial arts, after all, and a soldier to boot. But this is
deep, straight, deliberate. He must have pretty much sat still for it.
"It isn't your turn, Duo."
He seems to have caught himself a bit too late, calling me Duo instead of
Maxwell.
"Truth." I answer quickly, wanting his turn to be over.
"What was it like when you were young?"
I blink and sit down hard. I thought he knew the unsaid rules. No asking
about childhood.
He's happy with himself that he covered his mistake with his question.
"What do you want to know." I never ever skip out on a Truth or Dare
question. If people think they can do that, what fun is the game?
He looks down at the floor, obviously fighting with himself. I would know
that look anywhere.
"Forget the game. Can we just talk, Duo?"
I blink. Did he really drink that much? I look over at the empty bottles.
Maybe it's just been eating him, and I just gave him the last little push he
needed.
"Sure, WuFei."
XXXXXX
WuFei laid back against the couch. What was he doing?
"You'd better not let a single word of any of this go beyond only the two of
us, or I will kill you, Maxwell. I will rip your flesh to shreds with my
katana and hang them to dry in the middle of the Sahara."
Duo nodded. He smiled, but his eyes were solemn.
XXXXXX
Quatre wrinkled his nose. The living room smelled like cheap liquor. He
pushed the front door a little wider to open. His breath caught, and he
smiled at the sight greeting them. WuFei lay, snoring slightly, against the
couch. His arm was wrapped protectively around the shoulders of Duo, who was
asleep beside him. Duo's hand was curled into the other boy's loose dark
hair.
"Trowa." Quatre whispered, and removed himself from the doorway to let his
love see them. Trowa too smiled. It was just too cute not to. The two who
were constantly bickering and at the other's throat for the smallest things
falling asleep in such a position...
"Maybe we should come back later..."
XXXXXX
(The next part will be posted soon. And by soon, I really do mean soon
because I've already started on it. It just isn't finished yet, which is why
I didn't put it on this one. ^_^" )
By LD
GW Fanfic
Author's note: If you ever get a chance, read a fic called "A Good Catholic
Boy" by an author named Lonewolf. It's really really good.
Warnings: Stuff happens
XXXXXX
It's raining again. How depressing. I turn over in bed to look at the wall
instead. Its stupid flower print paper (Quatre's choice) drives me to look at
the ceiling instead. Ah, nice. No one's managed to ruin its smoothe, blank
cherrywood beams.
Somehow, none of it seems to bug me when he's here.
I drag myself out of bed sometime around one and pop into the kitchen
where Quatre and Trowa are enjoying what a few moments ago was alone time.
"Oooooh. Can I play too?" I ask from behind them. They didn't even notice me
walk in, and they instantly jump apart. I grin at them.
"Er... Hello, Duo." Quatre tries to sound cheery, but I know he's secretly a
bit miffed at having been caught.
"Oh, come on guys... It's nothing I haven't seen before..."
Quatre asumes, and correctly so, that I'm referring to myself and Heero.
Trowa blushes, and I remember the pictures I have hidden in my room. Anytime
I feel like going out and no one else wants to, Trowa goes. Quatre thinks
he's being nice. Trowa doesn't dare tell him the real reason.
Have to stop thinking about those pictures. Heero won't be back for another
two days. Not that he would mind my taking it out on someone else. It's an
unsaid agreement of ours. If one of us isn't around, and they find someone
else to spend the night with, it's cool. But it's just not the same...
"So what are the plans today?" I ask, sliding into a chair and taking some
coffee. I don't care what Heero says, I still think it's much better than
that nasty green goo he drinks.
"Well, Trowa and I were going to... Um... Go somewhere."
I'm spacing out, thinking about Heero, so it takes me a moment to compute
what he said.
"Wait a minute..." I stop crunching toast. "You're going to leave me by
myself?"
I really don't think it would be all that bad. More time to search for more
dirt on Trowa, but being all by myself doesn't sound like much fun.
"Er... Well, WuFei's here..."
I give him a look. WuFei, Mr.Justice? What fun am I supposed to have with
him?
"Well, we're off then!" Trowa sounds cheery, and doesn't look me in the eyes
at first. When he does, it's a sort of pleading "have mercy just this once"
look, and I feel sorry for the poor guy.
"Allright..."
Quatre looks relieved that I've accepted their plans.
"So where is Wu-Man?" I ask, munching on my toast once more.
"In his room. We'll be back late tonight... Maybe in the morning. My sister
wants us to stop by and you know how she is..."
I nod absently, trying to think of something WuFei might not entirely
disaprove of. Nothing outside because of the rain. Board games are out. I
can't stand the superior looks he gives me when he wins... Which he always
does. Clubbing later is definately out. Not only would I have to listen
to his protests all the way there, but WuFei drunk in a public place isn't
fun. And he doesn't dance anyway, so it would basically be a big waste of
time and liquor. There's nothing else within walking distance. Heero and
Quatre are the only ones with cars since that stupid bastard ran over my
motorcycle. Anything that could be classified as "gay" is probably out as
well. I can't see Mr.Justice consenting to playing Truth or Dare and eating
pizza.
Actually, I can, and it makes me giggle.
Maybe it's not even such a bad idea...
And I just remembered WuFei's new car.
XXXXXX
"Peekaboo!"
I never figured WuFei the type to sleep in half the day until I had to live
with him.
My precautions in being extra super quiet sneaking into his room are rewarded
as WuFei jerks awake, hitting his head against mine. I don't mind. Quatre's
always said I have a thick skull, and I guess he's right. WuFei quickly
skoots away from me, clutching his forehead.
"Maxwell! What the hell are you doing in my room!?" He demands, making what
I've decided to refer to as cute little faces to annoy him. I'm not surprised
he's so upset. Those three bolts on his door were put there especially to
keep me out. What a sweet thought.
I sit back at the foot of the bed, watching him alternately glare at me and
rub his forehead.
"Quatre and Trowa went out for the day."
He stops his rubbing.
"Yuy's back?" He asks. I think there's almost a hopeful tone in it.
"Nope! But YOU get to spend the day with ME!"
He takes up glaring again.
"And WHY would I do that?"
I absently glance at the clock.
"Damn, it's late. You should be up by now."
"You're changing the subject. What devilish plan have you devised in your
demonic little head this time." He demands.
I pretend to look hurt. "Fei... Nothing bad at all!"
He doesn't believe me.
"Hm... You should see these interesting little magazines I found a little bit
ago. Comics too."
He flinches. Ha. Got him.
"And?"
"And... I believe they're yours. Some people we know might be very interested
in seeing them... Especially a certain General you seem to be getting along
with pretty well..."
If his looks from before could kill, this one would have made me into ashes.
"Are you blackmailing me, Maxwell?"
Duuuuuuuhhhhhh.
"That's not very nice. I'm just trying to make a little deal with you."
He seems to be thinking it over, and I wait for him to respond. My eyes
wander the room.
Hey! His room doesn't have that stupid wall...
"Fine. What is it you want."
"You have to spend time with me. Until I say you can go. And you have to do
whatever I want to do."
He nods slowly.
I guess Sally must really be someone special to him.
"Hm... First off, we're going to the store and getting a bottle of vodka, and
one of tequila..."
"Why."
"Uh uh uh... No questions!" I wave a finger in his face. "Now get dressed!"
XXXXXX
Hee hee hee! I can't believe this is working. Maybe Fei-Chan will be some fun
after all.
XXXXXX
I can't believe this is happening. I can't believe I'm actually driving this
long haired freak to and from the liquor store to buy his stupid drinks that
I know he'll make me join him in swallowing later.
"Okay, so now what."
And just to keep it from Sally.
"We're going to play a game!" He grins at me.
Honestly, it isn't as though she's my mother or something...
"What kind of game?"
Besides, they were presents from...
"Trust me it'll be fun."
XXXXXX
He's glaring at me again. We're back in the living room. I couldn't stand the
thought of having to look at our wallpaper when it wasn't necessary. As long
as Quatre and Trowa really do stay out late like they said they would, it
should be fine. WuFei doesn't have a TV in his room.
"Here, Fei-Chan. Have a drink."
"It's Chang. Not Fei-Chan, not Wu-Man, not Wuffie." But he takes the vodka
I hold out to him.
"Let's see..."
It's only five now. Just before dark. Movie time!
XXXXXX
Actually, this isn't so bad. We ordered pizza, and he's put in some movie
about a space princess or something, and a kid who wants to save the
universe. I must say, the kid has the right ideas. Too bad he whines so much.
He's cute, though.
I pause, my latest drink halfway to my mouth.
I just realized my thoughts have somehow switched from Luke Skywalker to Duo
Maxwell, whose eyes are avidly glued to the screen, and who currently is
chewing a bite of his pizza.
No no no no no. This is bad. Too much to drink.
For the record, yes, I basically am straight. It's not that I have anything
against gay guys. I just prefer girls. With the possible acception of him. I
really do believe I'm in love with Sally, but Duo... Duo is temptation
itself. He's irritating, and whiney, and takes far too many risks, and is
arrogant and a huge pain in the ass, but there's still something about him
that makes it possible for one to tolerate, and possibly even like him. I'm
not quite sure what that quality is. I've never been able to figure it out.
Maybe it's his innocence. Despite what he's been through, all of us have been
through, he still acts so childish. Quatre has had to explain so many
commonplace things to him over the time we've been together.
I mean, together in this house. Of course. What else could I mean?
God, I'm out of it. Why did I ever consent to drinking this stuff?
I down the magically appearing shot before Duo has time to notice my pause.
XXXXXX
I wonder how many times I've seen this. Let's see... Quatre first introduced
it to me... What was it... A year and a half ago. That seems about right.
And every other day in that time...
I look down at my glass.
Eh, who cares how many time I've watched Luke accidently make out with his
own sister?
I pour myself another drink.
And I chance a glance over in WuFei's direction in time to see him look away
from me. Good. My plan's working. The alcohol's getting to him, and he's
getting restless. Too bad it's getting to me more than I had planned. I hope
I can hold out longer. Trowa said he wasn't much of a drinker.
"Say... Wu-Man..." I drop my glass down onto the short den table stop.
"Chang." He mutters.
"Want to play a game now?" I ignore him intentionally.
He glances over at me, giving me a look.
"Truth or Dare." I state, pushing the power button to cut Leia off mid-diss.
"You can go first. And I know you know how to play, so don't even try to play
dumb."
"Er..." He's still not sure of himself, but I think the darkness of the room
helps a bit. At least, it's always seemed to calm most people down. I myself
would never be caught willingly alone in it. I have to keep a nightlight on
when Heero's gone. Too many demons from the past to plague me.
I wait for him to answer, and take the chance to study him up and down. He's
dressed in the white jacket and pants he's taken to wearing lately. A couple
buttons on the jacket are undone, and I can see a small bit of his flat
stomach. It's enough to turn me on, that's for sure, and on top of that, he's
sitting in such a vulnerable position, and the liquor has softened the harsh
expression that's usually on his face. I've managed to uncover the cute,
sensible Chang I've always known had to be there somewhere.
"Truth." He chances uncertainly. I understand his hesitation. He has no idea
what I might do to him, but if his past is even a quarter as bad as I know
mine was, he wouldn't want to relive that either.
"Hm... What's your favorite color?"
He looks surprised for a moment before answering.
"Blue."
"My turn! Um..."
I too choose truth, to go easy on him.
"Why are you with Heero?"
I blink. It's not a question I had been expecting from him. I had thought he
would either copy my question or ask something about my hair. He's always
complaining about how long my hair is.
"Because I love him." I say simply.
He nods.
We go on like that for a while, me asking simple questions, and him asking
about my love life. Poor guy must want all the advice he can get.
I grin to myself. I can certainly help with that.
At last he's comfortable enough to pick dare.
"I dare you to take your shirt off."
He blinks at me for a moment.
"Why..."
"Nuh uh, that's my dare!"
He gives me another glare, the first one I've gotten in the past few hours,
and pulls his shirt over his head. I lick my lips. Very nice.
He looks self conscious and folds his arms in front of his chest. It takes a
moment for me to notice the long scar he was attempting to conceal. I lean
forward and push his arms aside.
He tries to back away from me, but bumps up against the couch.
"Maxwell... What..."
"What's this?" I run a finger along the long healed cut. It's not like the
others. Burn scars I was expecting. Maybe even a few shallow flesh wounds.
He was into martial arts, after all, and a soldier to boot. But this is
deep, straight, deliberate. He must have pretty much sat still for it.
"It isn't your turn, Duo."
He seems to have caught himself a bit too late, calling me Duo instead of
Maxwell.
"Truth." I answer quickly, wanting his turn to be over.
"What was it like when you were young?"
I blink and sit down hard. I thought he knew the unsaid rules. No asking
about childhood.
He's happy with himself that he covered his mistake with his question.
"What do you want to know." I never ever skip out on a Truth or Dare
question. If people think they can do that, what fun is the game?
He looks down at the floor, obviously fighting with himself. I would know
that look anywhere.
"Forget the game. Can we just talk, Duo?"
I blink. Did he really drink that much? I look over at the empty bottles.
Maybe it's just been eating him, and I just gave him the last little push he
needed.
"Sure, WuFei."
XXXXXX
WuFei laid back against the couch. What was he doing?
"You'd better not let a single word of any of this go beyond only the two of
us, or I will kill you, Maxwell. I will rip your flesh to shreds with my
katana and hang them to dry in the middle of the Sahara."
Duo nodded. He smiled, but his eyes were solemn.
XXXXXX
Quatre wrinkled his nose. The living room smelled like cheap liquor. He
pushed the front door a little wider to open. His breath caught, and he
smiled at the sight greeting them. WuFei lay, snoring slightly, against the
couch. His arm was wrapped protectively around the shoulders of Duo, who was
asleep beside him. Duo's hand was curled into the other boy's loose dark
hair.
"Trowa." Quatre whispered, and removed himself from the doorway to let his
love see them. Trowa too smiled. It was just too cute not to. The two who
were constantly bickering and at the other's throat for the smallest things
falling asleep in such a position...
"Maybe we should come back later..."
XXXXXX
(The next part will be posted soon. And by soon, I really do mean soon
because I've already started on it. It just isn't finished yet, which is why
I didn't put it on this one. ^_^" )
