Bass GSX: You like me, you REALLY LIKE ME!

Phil: Uh-huh...yeah, whatever.

Marcus: The author got MMZ2!

Ratchet: That means another chappie!

Clank: Agreed.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After Zero beat Copy X with his EXCELLENT powers, he decided to WANDER around in a CAPE looking like BASS from MEGAMAN BATTLE NETWORK.

Bass: Hey, that's MY cloak!

SUDDENLY, the CYCLOPSES come and attack POOR BABY Zero.

Cyclopses: We're baaaaaaack!

Zero: Oh, no!  I'm all scratched and shit!  He is.

UNFORTUNATELY for the Cyclopses, Zero has RETAINED the ability to FIRE a GUN.

Zero: (Arnold Schwartzenegger) Hasta la vista, baybee! (fires at least 700 shots)

Cyclopses: HOLY CRAPIZZLE!

Zero travels through the MESSED UP deserty type place ONLY to FIND more giant BITCHES.

Robot: (generic monotone) Grr, thizzle jizzle I willizzle defeat you, punkizzle.

Zero: Pardon?  He kills the robot.

Robot: Umm, bleah.  He dies.

Then, Zero fights NASTIMEENBADDN00BScorpion.

Scorpion: I have a long, hard thing which I like.

Zero: GAAH!  (Kills him)

Scorpion: Aww, you penetrated me!  (dies)

The PROBLEM is, Zero FORGOT to TIE his SHOES, and FALLS over...and CAN'T GET UP.

Zero: Shit.

Some loser PUNKS find Zero FACEPLANTED on the GROUND much later...

Soldiers: Hey, look!  It's the ice-cream man!

Ciel: No, you fools, that's my errand boy!  GET HIM!  They do.

Later, Zero wakes up in a STAR TREK STASIS TANK.

Zero: GAAH!  Picard!

Ciel: Remember me?

Zero: Oh, great, you're the freaky pink biotch...

On his way to the CRAPPER, Zero sees Elpisshead, the KING of the DUMASES.

Elpizo: Zero, it is nice to meet you!  He makes a gay motion with his hand.

Zero: If I had a gun, I'd shoot you.  Oh, wait I do have a gun!

UNFORTUNATELY for Zero, Elpizo gives him LOTS of MISSIONS before he can shoot him.

Zero: Bizawizotch!

The missions are annoyingly SIMILAR to X4 levels but CAPCOM decided that they were GOOD enough to REPEAT with DIFFERENT baddies.

Capcom: Hey, man, you bought it.

Zero: Have I been here before?

LUCKILY, like the LAST time, the bosses SUCK.  Zero MOPS the FLOOR with their ASSES.

Panther-type Guy: Aww, pooey.

Zero: To put it simply, WHO'S THE BITCH NOW?!

Zero gets PARTY INVITATIONS from the Four-err, Three Guardians to come PLAY with them.

Three Guardians: We're baaaaaaack!

Zero: I'm just going to kick your asses again, ya know?  He does.

Three Guardians: FUX0R, we'll get you Zero!  And your little ELVES, too!  They don't.

Just as Zero gets the chance to take a dump, Elipizoe goes crackers.

Elpizo: GIGGLEGIGGLEGIGGLEGIGGLE!

Zero: Aww, man...not another one.

Zero has to head BACK to SAN FRANCISCO/NEO ARCADIA because Eelpiesoo TOLD him to.  He MEETS up with the THREE BADASS GUARDIANS.

EvilDemonMotorcycleFefnir: (Biker Dude) Time to get rollin'!

Zero: HOLY-

Zero BARELY avoids becoming ROADKILL by SLASHING Fefnir's TIRES.  BUTBUTBUT, things are FAR from BETTER when Zero STUPIDLY decides to SKINNY DIP in the Gay Lair POOL.

DeathSubLeviathanChick: (Pirate) Asshole off the port bow, Captain!

Zero: Where?  (Runs her through with his Saber)

Leviathan: I thought...(dies)

Zero: You thought WRONG.

Then, Zero heads for the BAZAHR LAYZIR TIMPIL.  He meets up with CAPTAIN PICARD.

BIGJETDOOMHARPUIA: (Star Trek) FIRE PHOTON TORPEDOES!  He does.

Zero: SHITSHITSHIT!  (dies)

LUCKILY, Zero has SPARE LIVES.

Zero: Thank God.  You die now!

HARPUIA: Oh, yeah? (farts, then blows up)

Zero: BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

FINALLY, Zero goes to Ilpizza's LAIR and comes upon the MOST OVERUSED CONCEPT in Megaman HISTORY: The Room With All The Brand-New-Fresh Bosses.

Bosses: YAY!  We're back!

Zero: (kills them ALL) Heh, fools.

Zero then goes to Eilbizbo's PERSONAL room.  He sees Melbusso STANDING there with his "little friends", who TURN Belldizzo into SCARYFREAKYWEIRDMESSEDUPGAYROCKNiltrisso.

Elpizo: Prepare to die, bitch!

Zero: Who are you people?

Zero has ENOUGH sanity after FIGHTING the BOSSES again to KNOW that Dilwizzdo is MURDEROUS as HELL.  Zero dodges ATTACKS and gets a FEW hits.

Elpizo: HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA!  Now, I get scarier!  He DOES.

The DARK ELF, who was PARTYING with his BUDS earlier, comes down and turns Wilkissu into a FREAKIN' DEMENTED Ninja Star, otherwise known as: SHURIKENPOINTYBADSCREWEDBADEVILBADDOOM...THING.

BLUEBADWIZWANKO: (Big Gay Al, Southpark) Hey, big guy!  WANNA DANCE?

Zero: Is "no" a bad answer?

UNFORTUNATELY for Zero, it IS.  Big Gay Alpizzo is PISSED, to say the LEAST.  He goes into an attack FRENZY, sending little messed up MINIONS after Zero, who gets his ass KICKED.  Zero is FORCED to use Plan KDJFBSDLHFBLLKDBFLK.5, a DESPERATE but KILLER tactic that was originally used in WWII, called by some, the BBB, or BIG BADASS BOMB.  It is known to the GENERAL PUBLIC as the A-BOMB.

Zero: (Rambo) Time to blow this joint!  He does.

Zero is prepared to GO DOWN WITH THE SHIP, but widdle X-ey WX-ey comes to RUIN the MOMENT.

X: Zero!  I'm here to save you!

Zero: (whispering out of the side of his mouth) Dickhead, you ruined my scene!

But, X is SOOOOOOOOO SHINY he blinds Delsissy and makes him hit his HEAD on a BIGASS ROCK.

Elpizo: (Darth Vader) The Force is strong with this one...(dies)

X: (stereotypical teenage chick) NOW, he gets pretty, like me!

Nilfrizzo DOES.  HOWEVER, he also RIPS a HOLE in the SPACE-TIME CONTINUUM.

"Cyber"-Elves: (Wizard of Oz) Ding-dong, Elpizo's dead!  Which Elpizo?  The Wicked Elpizo!

Zero: Oh, GAWD!

THE CREDITS ROLL.

MYSTERIOUS-type voice: I think I'll act like Sigmama and giggle!  He DOES.

Zero: If Capcom gives me another surprise, I'll scream my catch phrase.

Capcom: Thank you for playing.

Zero: WHO'S THE BITCH NOW?!