Disclaimer: I do not own Evangelion. All characters and related material is the property of Gainax.

**Note: Unspoken thoughts will be displayed with [ and ] for clarification. Also the story flows from Shinji's perspective to Asuka's perspective, so often the same scene will be shown from two different viewpoints.

Oshi / Absto|3en                                                                                                          Push

            "I hate you Shinji Ikari."

            The third child felt the second place her palm upon his chest, and then issue a quick shove. Shinji felt his back and head come into contact with the wall. He winced slightly from the pain, it was the first time he had changed his silent expression since Asuka had walked through the door. Shinji said nothing.

            "You're such a coward," she said. When he still gave no response she groaned and then slowly turned toward the hallway, heading in the direction of her room.



            "I hate you Shinji Ikari," She said.

            ["Why won't you say something! Do something! Anything! Yell at me! Hit me! Make love to me! Hate me!"] These thoughts flashed through the mind of the second child, her subconscious barely registering their meanings or their results on the being which it governed. In frustration Asuka placed her hand upon his chest. No response. Asuka's mind screamed. She could feel her face twisted into a new position, that of malice, she could see his expression remain ever the same. Her mind sent electrical impulses down her spinal column. These impulses continued down into her right arm. Her fingers tensed, and then her hand issued a push. She watched with pleasure as the boy stumbled backward, colliding with the wall behind him. She watched as the pain registered upon his face; pain caused by her hands. She had caused this to happen; she was in control; she possessed power. This horrible enjoyment evaporated as quickly as it had come however; Shinji Ikari still gave her no response. The mind of the second child howled in rage.

            "You're such a coward," she said aloud to him.

            ["I'm such a coward,"] she thought.

            The second child turned and headed to her room.



            Once she was gone, Shinji Ikari felt himself begin to think. His mind wandered on to the best way to deal with his current situation. Shinji hated this feeling. ["Why should I be responsible for this? Why is it my problem what others think? I hate this…"] Shinji Ikari walked to his room and immediately located his SDAT player. It offered him escape from the responsibility of thinking for himself. The music was peaceful and serene; Shinji Ikari had an affinity for thinks completely unlike himself. Shinji Ikari hated himself.

            Shinji opened his eyes sometime later to the realization that he had fallen asleep. He also became aware that Misato was home. Shinji removed his headphones. It was his responsibility to make dinner. He had been told when he first met Misato that he made dinner on Fridays. She had never told him to stop making dinner on Fridays. It was Friday. Shinji Ikari stood from his bed to go make dinner.



            Asuka Langley Soryu entered her room and immediately collapsed upon her bed. At last she felt free from his gaze. It was a horrible freedom; loneliness. She hated being alone. She wished to be around many people; these people would admire her, praise her, envy her, attempt to love her. But she had been forsaken by all. Only he remained. She had tried to evict this admiration from him, this praise; she had brought herself upon his body, searching to take from him this ultimate gift; love. ["Love."] Asuka had wanted to take this from him, to feed her own mind. She wished to play with his ego to feed her own. She felt broken; empty. She no longer had pride; she had failed and it had disappeared. She needed something to fill the void. She had tried to take it, tried and failed. Again she was a failure. Ikari either had hidden this thing from her, or he had nothing left to give which she had not already taken. But there was something there…something different there that she did not comprehend. Asuka felt sleep blur her perception of reality, and was soon existing within her mind; a dream.

            Again she was kissing Shinji; replaying the moment that had taken place earlier that day. She saw herself kissing him. She watched as her mouth began to open; searching; tempting him with a passion hidden from all. In her dream the push never came. Instead she simply watched the kissing become more intense. The searched continued. Asuka watched as she began to remove her shirt, pulling it free from around her frame. The search continued. She moved her hands to his chest and began to unbutton his shirt, quickly pulling it free. The search continued. She pressed her bare skin upon his own, letting her actions intensify the kiss. The search continued. Asuka pulled herself free of her bra; her skirt; her underwear. The search continued. She reached down to Shinji's pants, and began to undue the button. The search continued. Asuka found herself on the ground upon Shinji. Moments passed, or were they hours? Asuka Langley Soryu found nothing in him. No admiration, no envy, no praise, no love. There was nothing except the incomprehensible feeling from before.

            ["Hope?"]



            Shinji Ikari entered the kitchen.

            "Hello Misato."

            "Hello Shinji."

            The third child made a motion to begin his cooking, but Misato stopped him.

            "It's alright Shinji. You don't have to cook tonight. We can order something in."

            "Okay."

            "Did Asuka make it home alright?"

            "Yes."

            "How is she?"

            "She's fine."