Disclaimer: I do not own Evangelion. All characters and other related materials is the property of Gainax
All thoughts are displayed with [and] for ease of clarification.
Okibi / Anzuenden Fire
"Rei?"
The first child turned slowly; uncaringly; unfeelingly, towards the words issued at her.
"Yes," She said, the monotone of her voice sliding softly from her throat. She could clearly see Kensuke Aida approaching her.
"Um...[greet her first, then ask about Shinji] How are you Rei?"
Rei Ayanami stared back at the brown haired boy coldly.
"Why?"
The first child honestly found that she had no idea why someone would possibly care how she was feeling. It was utterly pointless. Yet, at the same time, here it was; here it was laid out before her. She watched as the boy put on an awkward expression at her response.
"Why?" Kensuke said laughing, "Why not?"
[This is humor, is it not? Is he laughing at me? No. Or…yes?] Rei thought. Unknown to her, her face was now showing a confused smile. It was an automatic and natural reaction. The first child found that she had no control when it took place, it merely happened because of what she was feeling. It displayed what she was feeling. [Why? Why am I feeling? Am I different now? Am I different after the destruction of unit-00?] More chuckling from the boy pulled Rei from her thoughts again.
"Its good to see that you've lightened up some Rei," Kensuke said.
[I have?] Rei thought.
"What do you mean?" Rei asked.
"Your smiling, Rei."
"Smiling…do you like it when I smile?"
Rei watched as Kensuke gave her a strange look.
"Of course. Smiling is always good."
[Man this girl is so weird] Kensuke thought. [Weird, but pretty damn hot nonetheless. Too bad she's so crazy] Kensuke had a nice inward chuckle at himself after his last thought. [Yah, like I'm not weird either.]
"Anyway, Rei, do you know where Shinji is?"
"I do not."
"Okey doke. No problem. So I guess I'll talk to ya later then," Kensuke said as they entered their classroom and found their seats.
Toji Suzahara quietly watched Hikari Horaki as she performed her class rep duties. He was trying to concentrate on her image, and not the whispers that he could hear behind him. Toji knew, or believed he knew, exactly what they were talking about: His arm. They were pointing at the black barcode. Toji tried to take a deep breath, and found soon after that he had broken his pencil in his clenched palm. The pencil slowly rolled out of his palm and on to the floor, clattering as it hit the ground.
"Shinji…don't go."
Shinji Ikari heard her words, and he stopped walking. He found that he was breathing heavily, as if his body weighed more than normal. [Asuka. What do you want from me?] The third child slowly turned his head to the right so that he could see her on the couch behind him again.
Asuka Langley Soryu watched Shinji Ikari slowly turn his head to look back at her. She had his attention again; he was listening. [don't back down Asuka. Don't do it.]
"Please…come back," she said, her voice audible, though no louder than a whisper.
She watched intently as he began to slowly turn completely and begin the short journey back to the couch. His eyes still held their expression of pain, and his features were showing it now to an extent. Asuka became aware that she was holding her breath, and quickly released it. Moments later Shinji sat once again.
"Shinji, why were you standing in the road?"
Asuka watched as the boy tensed up at the question.
"I don-"
"Please, Shinji don't lie to me."
Shinji found himself taken back by the red head's words. [don't lie? Asuka please, what are you doing to me. Run. I should run. I can't. Yes, I can, I can always run.]
Shinji moved his feet in an effort to stand up.
"No! Please…don't," Asuka said as she grabbed his arm. Shinji could see the shadows of tears in her eyes.
[Tears? Why are you crying? Don't cry. Please. I hate it when you cry. Oh God…let go of my arm. Please for the love of god just let go, Asuka. Please…let me run.]
"Shinji!" Asuka said, still grabbing Shinji's arm, "Why were you standing in the street?"
[why? Why do you want to know? Do you care? No. Why would you? No one cares about me. Kaworu. You were the only one and you lied to me. You betrayed me. The question. Answer it.]
"It was a beautiful day…the sky was blue…the sun was shining...birds were singing…it was…just…a good day to die. I have nothing else left to live for," Shinji said.
Asuka Langley Soryu felt his words linger in the air. [You wanted do die? Why? Don't die, Shinji…you still have… me. But you don't remember it. What happened that night. You let me live. You could have killed me but you didn't. Something stopped you. You were hoping for something. And then I…I touched your face. Love. Was it love? Do I love you?] Asuka thought.
"Shinji! That's not true," Asuka said.
"What do you mean Asuka? How is it not true! I have nothing; I have no one. No one would care if I died. There aren't even any Angels anymore! I am worthless. I can't even be used now. I can't even be manipulated! I have nothing and no one!"
[it hurts. Why does it have to hurt so much? I hate this. Why are you asking me these things? It hurts. Run.]
The third child stood from the couch and started to walk away.
[Don't let him go. Don't let him go. Don't let him go. Don't let him go.]
"Shinji, you have me."
She watched as the third child turned. His eyes were fierce.
"Liar."
"No, Shinji…" Asuka began to walk towards the third child. She ignored the horrible pain in her ankle.
"Stop it. Don't lie to me," Shinji said as he backed farther away.
"I'm not lying," Asuka said.
Asuka reached her arms around him, leaning in towards his face. Then she felt a slight shove as she was pushed away.
"Don't come near me."
"Shinji please…"
"NO! You don't think I remember? Your kisses mean nothing; they have nothing. Nothing but poison."
Asuka Langley Soryu could feel her rage building, though, on the inside, she could sense that she was coming to tears. [Don't let it out. Don't let it out.]
"Baka! How dare you! How dare you pretend like you don't like it," she said
"Shut up! I hate you! Go away!"
"Why? What are you going to do if I don't? Huh Shinji? What will you do?"
"Maybe I'll kill you!"
"No. You won't!"
"You Bitch. Don't tell me what I won't do! I could've killed myself today if you hadn't stopped me. What makes you think I won't kill you?" Shinji said.
"Because you couldn't kill me before either!"
"What are you talking about?"
"You won't kill me, because you love me!"
Shinji Ikari stared at the girl before him. Her breath was long and ragged from yelling, as was his own. Her final words echoed through his consciousness. "You won't kill me, because you love me!" Shinji closed his eyes. He could see a beach; a beach covered in white sand; a beach bathed in an ocean of blood. [No! not again. This isn't real.]
Shinji watched as he gripped Asuka's throat as she lay there upon the sand. But things were different now. He was lying on the floor in the kitchen. There was hot coffee burning his skin. Asuka was there. She was alive. She was hugging him. Blood covered the floor.
"NO!" Shinji screamed as he used every part of his consciousness to rip his own eyelids open again [that's not real!] Then, his mind became clear and he could see normally again. Asuka was standing before him with a concerned look on her face.
Shinji soon realized that he was falling. He watched Asuka's lips move as he collapsed backward, though he could not make out what she was saying. He felt his head hit the floor; he felt the pain flood his senses. But he was no longer alone. She was on top of him. He could feel her kissing him again. It was a feeling of intensity; a rush like no other. This was different. It was not like before. Warmth. No, it was more like fire, burning throughout his being. [Why? Why is this happening? I don't understand.] Shinji suddenly found that he didn't care. It didn't matter that he did not understand. All that mattered was her.
[Shinji! Please show me! Let me know if you really love me!] Asuka moved her lips, grabbing at those of the third child. He was not fighting her, but he wasn't embracing her either. Asuka reached her arm behind his back and pulled him closer, letting her breasts push against his chest. [please Shinji. I'm not lying to you. If you love me please, open up to me. Let it go. I'm trying, please, I'm trying so hard. Don't die! I'm still here for you!]
Suddenly Asuka could feel his arms move; she could feel them wrap around her back. Now he was returning the kiss, throwing her intensity back at her. Warmth. Fire. It began to flood her, spilling through her blood and moving throughout her body. Suddenly nothing mattered. Nothing at all. All that mattered was him. [yes] Asuka could feel the floor moving. No, she was rolling. Shinji was above her now. She let her right hand slide from its grip upon his back to the back of his head and his hair. She could feel his mouth begin to move away from her own; Asuka licked at his lips as they were slowly pulled away.
The second child slowly opened her eyes to behold the face of the third child mere inches from her own. She was panting, the warmth, the fire, still pulsing in her veins. A slight smile grasped at her features and curled nigh imperceptibly at her lips. She stared completely into Shinji's eyes, becoming lost in their blue glow. Asuka found that she had never felt anything quite like this before. [Is this love?]
Shinji Ikari felt her beneath him; the subtle movement of her chest pushing up against his weight with every breath. She was breathing heavily, and he soon found that he was as well. Shinji watched as a faint smile curled the lips of the second child. What had happened? One moment he had told her that he would kill her, the next she was passionately kissing him upon the ground. Again Shinji found that he hardly cared about his own thoughts; only the moment itself was important. [Is this love?]
Shinji soon felt the pull of her arms upon him again, and once again the rush came. Or had it left? It didn't matter. Nothing mattered but her. [Netsuai]
Asuka Langley Soryu again pulled the third child down upon her; again she felt her lips upon his. [this feeling…] Asuka felt Shinji again pull her tighter. The second child felt herself let out a soft moan. [Why did I make that noise? Does it matter?] Asuka felt herself becoming lost in the moment again. She slowly moved her right hand up to the side of his face, allowing it to play softly with his hair and cheek. [Lieben]
Shinji Ikari could feel her hand on the side of his face. It moved slowly; up and down; her nails tracing softly upon his skin. Shinji could feel the strangest sensation of Déjà vu. [This feeling…] Shinji opened his eyes slightly, observing the beautiful girl beneath him. [Is this why I live? For her? Is she…my salvation?]
