Once upon a time there was a poor orphaned boy. He had no family and lived
in a really horrible place.
Then out of nowhere came a midget man
Midget Man ~ Keep good soldiers in Green
Orphaned boy ~ huh
Harry ~ is this a fic about me?
EB ~ mayyyyyyyyyyyybe mayyyyyyyyyyyyyyybe not
Riddle ~ **jumps up and down very hyperly** it's me isn't it, isn't it. It
has to be me
A door creaks open and who should walk in, none other than Dumbledore
Albus ~ I just thought I would drop by and tell ya'll that I have been
keeping some very important news from you. There is good news and bad news.
I am going to tell you the bad news first because; well I don't have to
tell you. Bad news is Harry Lily isn't ur mother, James had an affair w/
another women who had green eyes just like lily. Her name is Mary Sue.
Harry ~ wha.then how did I get saved from Voldadork by love?
Albus ~ beats the hell outta me
Harry ~ so what is the good news
Albus ~ I just saved 100 galleons on my insurance
Harry **is so angry his face and hair turn red** WHY YOU STUPID OLD
CRACKPOT FOOL!
Hagrid suddenly appears
Hagrid ~ NOBODY AND I MEAN NOBODY GETS AWAY WITH CALLING ALBUS A CRACKPOT
OLD FOOL **brings out umbrella points it at Harry and turns him into a cute
fluffy neon orange kitten
Albus ~ Turn him back ya dummy
Hagrid **starts crying and turns him back** noboda love's me anymore **runs
away**
Hermione ~How come I am not mentioned? I am the smart one
Ron ~ ya how come she isn't?
Ginny ~ Harry, I love you with all my hearts
Harry ~ you have more than one?
Ginny ~ yes I have 60
Luna ~ who wants to go looking for snrogal hammy Inkle's?
Everyone ~ go away
Malfoy ~ daisy
Everyone raises eyebrows then nods their head slowly
Will Turner ~ Has anyone seen thy fair lady Miss Black
EB ~ Right here Babe
Will ~ would thou likest to go for a stroll by thee lake
Everyone ~ She can't go she has to write this story
EB ~ you can do it without me.
EB walks off w/ Will Turner and things happen
Ron ~ yeah now I write
Once upon a time there was a white bouncing ferret that got runned over by
a thestral. The End.
Draco ~ hey that's no story ya dumb poor weasel it goes like this. Once the
Dark Lord ruled all he made Mr. Draco Malfoy ruler of all that was green
and good and pink and happy
Hermione ~ u nitwit that isn't how it goes. It goes like this There once
was a white bouncing ferret
Harry ~ that's the same one as Ron. I should tell it as I am the character
the books are named after. Once Voldadork was killed by me the Golden Boy,
The Boy Who Lived, The-Boy-Who-Wouldn't-Die, The-Leader-Of-The-Dream-Team,
Youngest-Seeker-In-A-Century-Never-Loses-A-Match
Random person hits him over the head with a frying pan
Trelawny ~ it shou. **falls over stunned**
Snape ~ All of the house students besides Slytherin die The End
Snape mysteriously ends up with several curses placed on him
Then there's a sudden silence, nobody was trying to make up another B.S.
story and there was only one reason for that. The author went AWOL.
Ginny ~ Has anyone seen Embyr?
Everyone shakes their head
Ginny ~ well she has to be somewhere we need to find her.
Ron ~ have u tried the compooter thingy?
Hermione ~ Ron it's a computer and she isn't one it, if she was this story
would have some kind of plot right now.
Ron ~ **turns beet red** oh. Well what about her bed? I heard she likes to
sleep a lot.
Ginny ~ yes we should try there, she could very well be sleeping
Herm ~ what if she is? Do we wake her or let her sleep on in peaceful bliss
where she dreaming about odd things like getting knocked up and flying on a
mop or knocking the crap at people.
Ginny ~ Maybe she is dreaming about telling off all those fucking
illiterate fucks that can't read or hear when they go to check out at
Wal~Mart?
Luna ~ I say if she is dreaming about the telling off we should let her.
Its better she get it done in her dream than in reality cuz she would get
fired and then couldn't afford to have her comp anymore? And that would be
bad.
Malfoy ~ bad how? Then she spend all day updating her numerous unfinished
fic's and come up with more fic's like What Was I thinking and I can't be
your friend anymore.
Lavender runs up to everyone panting
Lavender ~ I FOUND HER! I FOUND HER!
Harry ~ Where is she?
Lavender ~ She's hiding in the closet writing to a vampire
Ginny ~ what a freak.
Draco ~ Oreo
Herm ~ Malfoy get a life
Wormtail ~ I like fluffy yellow things
Voldadork ~ where's my Big Bird stuffed animal and Tickle Me Elmo
Colin ~ AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH its Voldie-Poo
Malfoy ~ Boo
Colin runs away screaming like a little girl
Dennis ~ What a wimp
Cho ~ Harry I just wanna date you because you killed Cedric
Ginny ~ Back off! He is mine. No one understands him better than I do. We
are both marked by Voldadork and have nightmares about him. So **sticks out
tongue**
Embyr Black walks back in
EB ~ What the hell happened here?
Ron ~ Why are you writing to a Vampire?
EB ~ **blushes** I was not writing to a Vampire, I was writing to THEE
Vampire Lestat.
Lestat ~ I heard my name
EB ~ **looks wide eyed and starts drooling and then faints**
Lestat ~ what happened to her?
Herm ~ she is obsessed with you.
Lestat ~ Oh, another one.
Lavender ~ **reading the letters** Says here she wants nothing more than to
be one of your kind. And is already a vampire in ways. Say's she likes the
taste of blood, more active during night, already has a fondness for biting
and hates the mortal world she lives in.
Lestat ~ maybe I should make her into one of my kind
Lavender ~ wait! Also says that you don't even have to make her into one,
you could kill her but she would prefer being made into a vampire or even
take a Little Drink. What's a little Drink?
Lestat ~ you don't kill them or make them into one you just take enough
blood to last you for a bit before you find someone else to actually kill.
Everyone looks wide eyed
David Letterman ~ and the number 7 complaint Bush has in England, Harry
Potter doesn't call back
Harry ~ So that's who's been leaving all those messages
Ron ~ is there something you need to tell us Harry
Snape ~ 100 points from Gryffindor
Herm ~ Bugger off you old greasy git, you can't take points from us, we
aren't even at school.
Snape ~ ok then another 900 when we get back to school
Binns ~ I wanna die
Susan Bones ~ you are dead Professor.
Binns ~ oh, I guess I forgot
Embyr ~ **wakes up and rubs head** what happened, I could have sworn that
Lestat de Lioncourt was here
Lestat ~ I am here
Embyr ~ Oh.My.God.
Malfoy ~ Frodo
L. Malfoy ~ Boy, get back here this instant and quit naming muggle things
Vernon ~ AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!! I am surrounded by a bunch of freaks
Petunia ~ **shivers** Azkaban
Dudley ~ **balling his eyes out** MOMMY
Moony ~
F&G ~ HEY ITS ONE OF THE MARAUDERS!
Moony ~ hello Fred and George.
F&G ~ You know us?
Moony ~ yes I also taught you
F&G ~ PROFESSOR LUPIN??!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!
Moony ~ **bows down** at your service
Padfoot ~ Moony *why* are you bowing?
Moony doesn't get the chance to reply because the author has decided that
she is no longer hyper enough to continue this no matter how much sugar or
Mt. Dew she inhales
in a really horrible place.
Then out of nowhere came a midget man
Midget Man ~ Keep good soldiers in Green
Orphaned boy ~ huh
Harry ~ is this a fic about me?
EB ~ mayyyyyyyyyyyybe mayyyyyyyyyyyyyyybe not
Riddle ~ **jumps up and down very hyperly** it's me isn't it, isn't it. It
has to be me
A door creaks open and who should walk in, none other than Dumbledore
Albus ~ I just thought I would drop by and tell ya'll that I have been
keeping some very important news from you. There is good news and bad news.
I am going to tell you the bad news first because; well I don't have to
tell you. Bad news is Harry Lily isn't ur mother, James had an affair w/
another women who had green eyes just like lily. Her name is Mary Sue.
Harry ~ wha.then how did I get saved from Voldadork by love?
Albus ~ beats the hell outta me
Harry ~ so what is the good news
Albus ~ I just saved 100 galleons on my insurance
Harry **is so angry his face and hair turn red** WHY YOU STUPID OLD
CRACKPOT FOOL!
Hagrid suddenly appears
Hagrid ~ NOBODY AND I MEAN NOBODY GETS AWAY WITH CALLING ALBUS A CRACKPOT
OLD FOOL **brings out umbrella points it at Harry and turns him into a cute
fluffy neon orange kitten
Albus ~ Turn him back ya dummy
Hagrid **starts crying and turns him back** noboda love's me anymore **runs
away**
Hermione ~How come I am not mentioned? I am the smart one
Ron ~ ya how come she isn't?
Ginny ~ Harry, I love you with all my hearts
Harry ~ you have more than one?
Ginny ~ yes I have 60
Luna ~ who wants to go looking for snrogal hammy Inkle's?
Everyone ~ go away
Malfoy ~ daisy
Everyone raises eyebrows then nods their head slowly
Will Turner ~ Has anyone seen thy fair lady Miss Black
EB ~ Right here Babe
Will ~ would thou likest to go for a stroll by thee lake
Everyone ~ She can't go she has to write this story
EB ~ you can do it without me.
EB walks off w/ Will Turner and things happen
Ron ~ yeah now I write
Once upon a time there was a white bouncing ferret that got runned over by
a thestral. The End.
Draco ~ hey that's no story ya dumb poor weasel it goes like this. Once the
Dark Lord ruled all he made Mr. Draco Malfoy ruler of all that was green
and good and pink and happy
Hermione ~ u nitwit that isn't how it goes. It goes like this There once
was a white bouncing ferret
Harry ~ that's the same one as Ron. I should tell it as I am the character
the books are named after. Once Voldadork was killed by me the Golden Boy,
The Boy Who Lived, The-Boy-Who-Wouldn't-Die, The-Leader-Of-The-Dream-Team,
Youngest-Seeker-In-A-Century-Never-Loses-A-Match
Random person hits him over the head with a frying pan
Trelawny ~ it shou. **falls over stunned**
Snape ~ All of the house students besides Slytherin die The End
Snape mysteriously ends up with several curses placed on him
Then there's a sudden silence, nobody was trying to make up another B.S.
story and there was only one reason for that. The author went AWOL.
Ginny ~ Has anyone seen Embyr?
Everyone shakes their head
Ginny ~ well she has to be somewhere we need to find her.
Ron ~ have u tried the compooter thingy?
Hermione ~ Ron it's a computer and she isn't one it, if she was this story
would have some kind of plot right now.
Ron ~ **turns beet red** oh. Well what about her bed? I heard she likes to
sleep a lot.
Ginny ~ yes we should try there, she could very well be sleeping
Herm ~ what if she is? Do we wake her or let her sleep on in peaceful bliss
where she dreaming about odd things like getting knocked up and flying on a
mop or knocking the crap at people.
Ginny ~ Maybe she is dreaming about telling off all those fucking
illiterate fucks that can't read or hear when they go to check out at
Wal~Mart?
Luna ~ I say if she is dreaming about the telling off we should let her.
Its better she get it done in her dream than in reality cuz she would get
fired and then couldn't afford to have her comp anymore? And that would be
bad.
Malfoy ~ bad how? Then she spend all day updating her numerous unfinished
fic's and come up with more fic's like What Was I thinking and I can't be
your friend anymore.
Lavender runs up to everyone panting
Lavender ~ I FOUND HER! I FOUND HER!
Harry ~ Where is she?
Lavender ~ She's hiding in the closet writing to a vampire
Ginny ~ what a freak.
Draco ~ Oreo
Herm ~ Malfoy get a life
Wormtail ~ I like fluffy yellow things
Voldadork ~ where's my Big Bird stuffed animal and Tickle Me Elmo
Colin ~ AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH its Voldie-Poo
Malfoy ~ Boo
Colin runs away screaming like a little girl
Dennis ~ What a wimp
Cho ~ Harry I just wanna date you because you killed Cedric
Ginny ~ Back off! He is mine. No one understands him better than I do. We
are both marked by Voldadork and have nightmares about him. So **sticks out
tongue**
Embyr Black walks back in
EB ~ What the hell happened here?
Ron ~ Why are you writing to a Vampire?
EB ~ **blushes** I was not writing to a Vampire, I was writing to THEE
Vampire Lestat.
Lestat ~ I heard my name
EB ~ **looks wide eyed and starts drooling and then faints**
Lestat ~ what happened to her?
Herm ~ she is obsessed with you.
Lestat ~ Oh, another one.
Lavender ~ **reading the letters** Says here she wants nothing more than to
be one of your kind. And is already a vampire in ways. Say's she likes the
taste of blood, more active during night, already has a fondness for biting
and hates the mortal world she lives in.
Lestat ~ maybe I should make her into one of my kind
Lavender ~ wait! Also says that you don't even have to make her into one,
you could kill her but she would prefer being made into a vampire or even
take a Little Drink. What's a little Drink?
Lestat ~ you don't kill them or make them into one you just take enough
blood to last you for a bit before you find someone else to actually kill.
Everyone looks wide eyed
David Letterman ~ and the number 7 complaint Bush has in England, Harry
Potter doesn't call back
Harry ~ So that's who's been leaving all those messages
Ron ~ is there something you need to tell us Harry
Snape ~ 100 points from Gryffindor
Herm ~ Bugger off you old greasy git, you can't take points from us, we
aren't even at school.
Snape ~ ok then another 900 when we get back to school
Binns ~ I wanna die
Susan Bones ~ you are dead Professor.
Binns ~ oh, I guess I forgot
Embyr ~ **wakes up and rubs head** what happened, I could have sworn that
Lestat de Lioncourt was here
Lestat ~ I am here
Embyr ~ Oh.My.God.
Malfoy ~ Frodo
L. Malfoy ~ Boy, get back here this instant and quit naming muggle things
Vernon ~ AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!! I am surrounded by a bunch of freaks
Petunia ~ **shivers** Azkaban
Dudley ~ **balling his eyes out** MOMMY
Moony ~
F&G ~ HEY ITS ONE OF THE MARAUDERS!
Moony ~ hello Fred and George.
F&G ~ You know us?
Moony ~ yes I also taught you
F&G ~ PROFESSOR LUPIN??!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!
Moony ~ **bows down** at your service
Padfoot ~ Moony *why* are you bowing?
Moony doesn't get the chance to reply because the author has decided that
she is no longer hyper enough to continue this no matter how much sugar or
Mt. Dew she inhales
